Guest guest Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Eeeks - I got utterly confused halfway through - couldn't keep track of who couldn't say what. Now even I can't say - what - I can't say ........ Brilliant piece, Kishore da. Prabha '84 Shah wrote: CAN'T SAY All my school and college textbooks had emphasized that the world is divided into two parts, the haves and the have-nots, or the Yeses and the Nos. However, nowadays a new breed of human beings is emerging. These are the 'Can't says'. Amongst the millions of opinion polls conducted, there must be at least 4 to 5 % of people who spend 5 Rupees per SMS or 10 Rupees per minute to ring up the money making company to say, " You have asked whether Tendulkar will get out in the 90s again. Well after considerable thought and sleepless nights, I have come to the conclusion that I can't say. So I am spending 10 Rupees a minute to tell you this earth shattering news. " Long, long ago, in the misty advertising past, some executive must have asked the crucial question, " Our Opinion polls will rake in all the moolah from people who have some opinion, but what about those who don't have any opinion? " Then some bright upstart must have remarked, " Lets have a 'no opinion' button. " And that must have been the origin of this unique species Homo Sapiens Cantsays! The weak opposition of some naysayers arguing that those who have no opinion will not take part in an opinion poll must have been crushed to chutney. In an attempt to understand this more advanced group of human beings, I decided to conduct an opinion poll about whether India should sign the Nuclear deal or not. Then I phoned up all those who had replied 'Can't say' to this question. Some of my interviews are given below. " Hello! Is that Mister Sing? " " I don't know. Just a moment. {(In an aside) 'Am I Mister Sing?' 'Of course you are.' 'But yesterday you said that I was PM.' 'So today you are Sing.'} Er Yes! I am Mister Sing. " " Well, you have replied to our opinion poll saying that you can't say. " " I didn't say. " " Of course you said. We have your SMS saying that you can't say. " " Yes! Yes! Baba! I said that. But I didn't say whether I am for or against the Deal. " " Oh! And could you tell us why you can't say? " " First I will have to ask Madam and then the left on why I can't say. " There is a background noise of scuffling and whispered threats, then a trembling Singh comes back on phone, " Listen, I can't say why I said I can't say even though I said I can't say when I couldn't say. " Phone cut off abruptly. The next phone was to one Mister Carrot. " Hello! Is that Mister Carrot? " " Yes! And a very red Carrot. " " You have said that you can't say yes or no to the nuclear deal. " " Exactly! But I have also sent earlier SMSes saying No and Maybe. " " Oh! You have sent SMSes saying No also? " " Yes. " " You mean No " " No, I mean Yes, I have sent SMSes saying No. " " Then how come you can't say now? " " Oh this is just a transient period. During Nandigram, we just can't say yes or no. Later on we may say yes. It all depends on so many factors. But I want to thank you for giving so much importance to a person who holds such a minority opinion. " " Please don't mention it, sir. " Our next phone was to a Mister Ad Vani. " Hello, am I speaking to Mr. Vani? " " Jai Shri Ram. " " Oh! Sorry, wrong number. I wanted Mr. Vani and not Mister Ram. " " I am Mr. Vani. " " Okay Mr. Vani, you have said that you can't say yes or no to the N-deal. " " Does the deal have a Ram in it? " " Well, not that I know of. " " Then how do you expect me to have any opinion about such an unholy thing? Jai Shri Ram. " Phone closes. Our last phone was to a guy called ny Janta. " Okay Mr. Janta, why don't you have an opinion about the N deal? " " Well, for two important reasons. For one, I can't understand what is happening. " " And the second important reason? " " The second reason? ly, my dear, I don't care! " Kishore Shah 1974 --------------------------------- Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Can't say why all these people don't suffer from a sore bum sitting on the fence forever... but can say that Kishore, you are a terrific writer! Anshu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Good one,Kishoreda.. Even after all the, yes yes..no..no..and Can't say.Apna Bharat Desh,phir..bhi..aage badh raha hain..aur cellular phonewale..kama rahein hain.. Now taking the cue,the Middle east operators,have also joined hands with Indian operators...on money sharing basis..and have also started advt..us,to SMS..and opine..or help a contestant win,an Indian Reality Show,..and Sohana.,armed with her cell phone,..is all set and happy,to be a part of the valuable decision making chain,today Bye. Shyam(84). Can't Say CAN'T SAY All my school and college textbooks had emphasized that the world is divided into two parts, the haves and the have-nots, or the Yeses and the Nos. However, nowadays a new breed of human beings is emerging. These are the 'Can't says'. Amongst the millions of opinion polls conducted, there must be at least 4 to 5 % of people who spend 5 Rupees per SMS or 10 Rupees per minute to ring up the money making company to say, " You have asked whether Tendulkar will get out in the 90s again. Well after considerable thought and sleepless nights, I have come to the conclusion that I can't say. So I am spending 10 Rupees a minute to tell you this earth shattering news. " Long, long ago, in the misty advertising past, some executive must have asked the crucial question, " Our Opinion polls will rake in all the moolah from people who have some opinion, but what about those who don't have any opinion? " Then some bright upstart must have remarked, " Lets have a 'no opinion' button. " And that must have been the origin of this unique species Homo Sapiens Cantsays! The weak opposition of some naysayers arguing that those who have no opinion will not take part in an opinion poll must have been crushed to chutney. In an attempt to understand this more advanced group of human beings, I decided to conduct an opinion poll about whether India should sign the Nuclear deal or not. Then I phoned up all those who had replied 'Can't say' to this question. Some of my interviews are given below. " Hello! Is that Mister Sing? " " I don't know. Just a moment. {(In an aside) 'Am I Mister Sing?' 'Of course you are.' 'But yesterday you said that I was PM.' 'So today you are Sing.'} Er Yes! I am Mister Sing. " " Well, you have replied to our opinion poll saying that you can't say. " " I didn't say. " " Of course you said. We have your SMS saying that you can't say. " " Yes! Yes! Baba! I said that. But I didn't say whether I am for or against the Deal. " " Oh! And could you tell us why you can't say? " " First I will have to ask Madam and then the left on why I can't say. " There is a background noise of scuffling and whispered threats, then a trembling Singh comes back on phone, " Listen, I can't say why I said I can't say even though I said I can't say when I couldn't say. " Phone cut off abruptly. The next phone was to one Mister Carrot. " Hello! Is that Mister Carrot? " " Yes! And a very red Carrot. " " You have said that you can't say yes or no to the nuclear deal. " " Exactly! But I have also sent earlier SMSes saying No and Maybe. " " Oh! You have sent SMSes saying No also? " " Yes. " " You mean No " " No, I mean Yes, I have sent SMSes saying No. " " Then how come you can't say now? " " Oh this is just a transient period. During Nandigram, we just can't say yes or no. Later on we may say yes. It all depends on so many factors. But I want to thank you for giving so much importance to a person who holds such a minority opinion. " " Please don't mention it, sir. " Our next phone was to a Mister Ad Vani. " Hello, am I speaking to Mr. Vani? " " Jai Shri Ram. " " Oh! Sorry, wrong number. I wanted Mr. Vani and not Mister Ram. " " I am Mr. Vani. " " Okay Mr. Vani, you have said that you can't say yes or no to the N-deal. " " Does the deal have a Ram in it? " " Well, not that I know of. " " Then how do you expect me to have any opinion about such an unholy thing? Jai Shri Ram. " Phone closes. Our last phone was to a guy called ny Janta. " Okay Mr. Janta, why don't you have an opinion about the N deal? " " Well, for two important reasons. For one, I can't understand what is happening. " " And the second important reason? " " The second reason? ly, my dear, I don't care! " Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Thanks Prabha, Anshu and Shyam, You said it though I can't say. Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Thank you, Veekay, You are one great morale booster for me. Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2007 Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 He he! That was wonderful... topical too! Enjoyed it to the hilt Kishore! :-D Ravin '82 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2007 Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 Dear Kishor, I have always been an admirer of your art (both written and visual) but you never stop surprising us with still newer facets of your personalty.I am amazed by your keen sense of poltics.The national political scene is disgusting (although why you left Devegauda ?) but your comments come like a breath of fresh air. Carry on the goodwork. VK76 Can't Say CAN'T SAY All my school and college textbooks had emphasized that the world is divided into two parts, the haves and the have-nots, or the Yeses and the Nos. However, nowadays a new breed of human beings is emerging. These are the 'Can't says'. Amongst the millions of opinion polls conducted, there must be at least 4 to 5 % of people who spend 5 Rupees per SMS or 10 Rupees per minute to ring up the money making company to say, " You have asked whether Tendulkar will get out in the 90s again. Well after considerable thought and sleepless nights, I have come to the conclusion that I can't say. So I am spending 10 Rupees a minute to tell you this earth shattering news. " Long, long ago, in the misty advertising past, some executive must have asked the crucial question, " Our Opinion polls will rake in all the moolah from people who have some opinion, but what about those who don't have any opinion? " Then some bright upstart must have remarked, " Lets have a 'no opinion' button. " And that must have been the origin of this unique species Homo Sapiens Cantsays! The weak opposition of some naysayers arguing that those who have no opinion will not take part in an opinion poll must have been crushed to chutney. In an attempt to understand this more advanced group of human beings, I decided to conduct an opinion poll about whether India should sign the Nuclear deal or not. Then I phoned up all those who had replied 'Can't say' to this question. Some of my interviews are given below. " Hello! Is that Mister Sing? " " I don't know. Just a moment. {(In an aside) 'Am I Mister Sing?' 'Of course you are.' 'But yesterday you said that I was PM.' 'So today you are Sing.'} Er Yes! I am Mister Sing. " " Well, you have replied to our opinion poll saying that you can't say. " " I didn't say. " " Of course you said. We have your SMS saying that you can't say. " " Yes! Yes! Baba! I said that. But I didn't say whether I am for or against the Deal. " " Oh! And could you tell us why you can't say? " " First I will have to ask Madam and then the left on why I can't say. " There is a background noise of scuffling and whispered threats, then a trembling Singh comes back on phone, " Listen, I can't say why I said I can't say even though I said I can't say when I couldn't say. " Phone cut off abruptly. The next phone was to one Mister Carrot. " Hello! Is that Mister Carrot? " " Yes! And a very red Carrot. " " You have said that you can't say yes or no to the nuclear deal. " " Exactly! But I have also sent earlier SMSes saying No and Maybe. " " Oh! You have sent SMSes saying No also? " " Yes. " " You mean No " " No, I mean Yes, I have sent SMSes saying No. " " Then how come you can't say now? " " Oh this is just a transient period. During Nandigram, we just can't say yes or no. Later on we may say yes. It all depends on so many factors. But I want to thank you for giving so much importance to a person who holds such a minority opinion. " " Please don't mention it, sir. " Our next phone was to a Mister Ad Vani. " Hello, am I speaking to Mr. Vani? " " Jai Shri Ram. " " Oh! Sorry, wrong number. I wanted Mr. Vani and not Mister Ram. " " I am Mr. Vani. " " Okay Mr. Vani, you have said that you can't say yes or no to the N-deal. " " Does the deal have a Ram in it? " " Well, not that I know of. " " Then how do you expect me to have any opinion about such an unholy thing? Jai Shri Ram. " Phone closes. Our last phone was to a guy called ny Janta. " Okay Mr. Janta, why don't you have an opinion about the N deal? " " Well, for two important reasons. For one, I can't understand what is happening. " " And the second important reason? " " The second reason? ly, my dear, I don't care! " Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2007 Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 Thanks Ravin for your nice words of praise. You are kind, as usual. Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2007 Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 Kishore, Nice very nice indeed, now tell me where and when is this going to be published...you must if you have not already approached any news paper/magazine. Ashish Shah wrote: CAN'T SAY All my school and college textbooks had emphasized that the world is divided into two parts, the haves and the have-nots, or the Yeses and the Nos. However, nowadays a new breed of human beings is emerging. These are the 'Can't says'. Amongst the millions of opinion polls conducted, there must be at least 4 to 5 % of people who spend 5 Rupees per SMS or 10 Rupees per minute to ring up the money making company to say, " You have asked whether Tendulkar will get out in the 90s again. Well after considerable thought and sleepless nights, I have come to the conclusion that I can't say. So I am spending 10 Rupees a minute to tell you this earth shattering news. " Long, long ago, in the misty advertising past, some executive must have asked the crucial question, " Our Opinion polls will rake in all the moolah from people who have some opinion, but what about those who don't have any opinion? " Then some bright upstart must have remarked, " Lets have a 'no opinion' button. " And that must have been the origin of this unique species Homo Sapiens Cantsays! The weak opposition of some naysayers arguing that those who have no opinion will not take part in an opinion poll must have been crushed to chutney. In an attempt to understand this more advanced group of human beings, I decided to conduct an opinion poll about whether India should sign the Nuclear deal or not. Then I phoned up all those who had replied 'Can't say' to this question. Some of my interviews are given below. " Hello! Is that Mister Sing? " " I don't know. Just a moment. {(In an aside) 'Am I Mister Sing?' 'Of course you are.' 'But yesterday you said that I was PM.' 'So today you are Sing.'} Er Yes! I am Mister Sing. " " Well, you have replied to our opinion poll saying that you can't say. " " I didn't say. " " Of course you said. We have your SMS saying that you can't say. " " Yes! Yes! Baba! I said that. But I didn't say whether I am for or against the Deal. " " Oh! And could you tell us why you can't say? " " First I will have to ask Madam and then the left on why I can't say. " There is a background noise of scuffling and whispered threats, then a trembling Singh comes back on phone, " Listen, I can't say why I said I can't say even though I said I can't say when I couldn't say. " Phone cut off abruptly. The next phone was to one Mister Carrot. " Hello! Is that Mister Carrot? " " Yes! And a very red Carrot. " " You have said that you can't say yes or no to the nuclear deal. " " Exactly! But I have also sent earlier SMSes saying No and Maybe. " " Oh! You have sent SMSes saying No also? " " Yes. " " You mean No " " No, I mean Yes, I have sent SMSes saying No. " " Then how come you can't say now? " " Oh this is just a transient period. During Nandigram, we just can't say yes or no. Later on we may say yes. It all depends on so many factors. But I want to thank you for giving so much importance to a person who holds such a minority opinion. " " Please don't mention it, sir. " Our next phone was to a Mister Ad Vani. " Hello, am I speaking to Mr. Vani? " " Jai Shri Ram. " " Oh! Sorry, wrong number. I wanted Mr. Vani and not Mister Ram. " " I am Mr. Vani. " " Okay Mr. Vani, you have said that you can't say yes or no to the N-deal. " " Does the deal have a Ram in it? " " Well, not that I know of. " " Then how do you expect me to have any opinion about such an unholy thing? Jai Shri Ram. " Phone closes. Our last phone was to a guy called ny Janta. " Okay Mr. Janta, why don't you have an opinion about the N deal? " " Well, for two important reasons. For one, I can't understand what is happening. " " And the second important reason? " " The second reason? ly, my dear, I don't care! " Kishore Shah 1974 --------------------------------- Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2007 Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 Good one kishoreda. Out here too often people are non-commital. Wish them good morning how r u... and the response will be 'not bad' never 'good'. Most answers will be- 'i think.....'/'in my opinion'- always leaving an outlet to squeeze out of if the discussion goes either way.. Malini From: mgims [mailto:mgims ] On Behalf Of Shah Sent: 27 November 2007 04:24 To: mgims Subject: Can't Say CAN'T SAY All my school and college textbooks had emphasized that the world is divided into two parts, the haves and the have-nots, or the Yeses and the Nos. However, nowadays a new breed of human beings is emerging. These are the 'Can't says'. Amongst the millions of opinion polls conducted, there must be at least 4 to 5 % of people who spend 5 Rupees per SMS or 10 Rupees per minute to ring up the money making company to say, " You have asked whether Tendulkar will get out in the 90s again. Well after considerable thought and sleepless nights, I have come to the conclusion that I can't say. So I am spending 10 Rupees a minute to tell you this earth shattering news. " Long, long ago, in the misty advertising past, some executive must have asked the crucial question, " Our Opinion polls will rake in all the moolah from people who have some opinion, but what about those who don't have any opinion? " Then some bright upstart must have remarked, " Lets have a 'no opinion' button. " And that must have been the origin of this unique species Homo Sapiens Cantsays! The weak opposition of some naysayers arguing that those who have no opinion will not take part in an opinion poll must have been crushed to chutney. In an attempt to understand this more advanced group of human beings, I decided to conduct an opinion poll about whether India should sign the Nuclear deal or not. Then I phoned up all those who had replied 'Can't say' to this question. Some of my interviews are given below. " Hello! Is that Mister Sing? " " I don't know. Just a moment. {(In an aside) 'Am I Mister Sing?' 'Of course you are.' 'But yesterday you said that I was PM.' 'So today you are Sing.'} Er Yes! I am Mister Sing. " " Well, you have replied to our opinion poll saying that you can't say. " " I didn't say. " " Of course you said. We have your SMS saying that you can't say. " " Yes! Yes! Baba! I said that. But I didn't say whether I am for or against the Deal. " " Oh! And could you tell us why you can't say? " " First I will have to ask Madam and then the left on why I can't say. " There is a background noise of scuffling and whispered threats, then a trembling Singh comes back on phone, " Listen, I can't say why I said I can't say even though I said I can't say when I couldn't say. " Phone cut off abruptly. The next phone was to one Mister Carrot. " Hello! Is that Mister Carrot? " " Yes! And a very red Carrot. " " You have said that you can't say yes or no to the nuclear deal. " " Exactly! But I have also sent earlier SMSes saying No and Maybe. " " Oh! You have sent SMSes saying No also? " " Yes. " " You mean No " " No, I mean Yes, I have sent SMSes saying No. " " Then how come you can't say now? " " Oh this is just a transient period. During Nandigram, we just can't say yes or no. Later on we may say yes. It all depends on so many factors. But I want to thank you for giving so much importance to a person who holds such a minority opinion. " " Please don't mention it, sir. " Our next phone was to a Mister Ad Vani. " Hello, am I speaking to Mr. Vani? " " Jai Shri Ram. " " Oh! Sorry, wrong number. I wanted Mr. Vani and not Mister Ram. " " I am Mr. Vani. " " Okay Mr. Vani, you have said that you can't say yes or no to the N-deal. " " Does the deal have a Ram in it? " " Well, not that I know of. " " Then how do you expect me to have any opinion about such an unholy thing? Jai Shri Ram. " Phone closes. Our last phone was to a guy called ny Janta. " Okay Mr. Janta, why don't you have an opinion about the N deal? " " Well, for two important reasons. For one, I can't understand what is happening. " " And the second important reason? " " The second reason? ly, my dear, I don't care! " Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2007 Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 Thanks Ashok, Ashish and Malini, Ashok you can send a hindi manuscript by taking a screen shot of it (Prt Scr) and pasting it in " Paint " or any other graphic program. Delete the extra unwanted parts and save the picture as a jpg. Then go to our web site and upload it in the files section. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/mgims/files in an appropiate folder (or create one). Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2007 Report Share Posted November 29, 2007 Excellent peice Kishoreda!Well worth the wait. Renuka'84 Prabha Desikan wrote: Eeeks - I got utterly confused halfway through - couldn't keep track of who couldn't say what. Now even I can't say - what - I can't say ........ Brilliant piece, Kishore da. Prabha '84 Shah wrote: CAN'T SAY All my school and college textbooks had emphasized that the world is divided into two parts, the haves and the have-nots, or the Yeses and the Nos. However, nowadays a new breed of human beings is emerging. These are the 'Can't says'. Amongst the millions of opinion polls conducted, there must be at least 4 to 5 % of people who spend 5 Rupees per SMS or 10 Rupees per minute to ring up the money making company to say, " You have asked whether Tendulkar will get out in the 90s again. Well after considerable thought and sleepless nights, I have come to the conclusion that I can't say. So I am spending 10 Rupees a minute to tell you this earth shattering news. " Long, long ago, in the misty advertising past, some executive must have asked the crucial question, " Our Opinion polls will rake in all the moolah from people who have some opinion, but what about those who don't have any opinion? " Then some bright upstart must have remarked, " Lets have a 'no opinion' button. " And that must have been the origin of this unique species Homo Sapiens Cantsays! The weak opposition of some naysayers arguing that those who have no opinion will not take part in an opinion poll must have been crushed to chutney. In an attempt to understand this more advanced group of human beings, I decided to conduct an opinion poll about whether India should sign the Nuclear deal or not. Then I phoned up all those who had replied 'Can't say' to this question. Some of my interviews are given below. " Hello! Is that Mister Sing? " " I don't know. Just a moment. {(In an aside) 'Am I Mister Sing?' 'Of course you are.' 'But yesterday you said that I was PM.' 'So today you are Sing.'} Er Yes! I am Mister Sing. " " Well, you have replied to our opinion poll saying that you can't say. " " I didn't say. " " Of course you said. We have your SMS saying that you can't say. " " Yes! Yes! Baba! I said that. But I didn't say whether I am for or against the Deal. " " Oh! And could you tell us why you can't say? " " First I will have to ask Madam and then the left on why I can't say. " There is a background noise of scuffling and whispered threats, then a trembling Singh comes back on phone, " Listen, I can't say why I said I can't say even though I said I can't say when I couldn't say. " Phone cut off abruptly. The next phone was to one Mister Carrot. " Hello! Is that Mister Carrot? " " Yes! And a very red Carrot. " " You have said that you can't say yes or no to the nuclear deal. " " Exactly! But I have also sent earlier SMSes saying No and Maybe. " " Oh! You have sent SMSes saying No also? " " Yes. " " You mean No " " No, I mean Yes, I have sent SMSes saying No. " " Then how come you can't say now? " " Oh this is just a transient period. During Nandigram, we just can't say yes or no. Later on we may say yes. It all depends on so many factors. But I want to thank you for giving so much importance to a person who holds such a minority opinion. " " Please don't mention it, sir. " Our next phone was to a Mister Ad Vani. " Hello, am I speaking to Mr. Vani? " " Jai Shri Ram. " " Oh! Sorry, wrong number. I wanted Mr. Vani and not Mister Ram. " " I am Mr. Vani. " " Okay Mr. Vani, you have said that you can't say yes or no to the N-deal. " " Does the deal have a Ram in it? " " Well, not that I know of. " " Then how do you expect me to have any opinion about such an unholy thing? Jai Shri Ram. " Phone closes. Our last phone was to a guy called ny Janta. " Okay Mr. Janta, why don't you have an opinion about the N deal? " " Well, for two important reasons. For one, I can't understand what is happening. " " And the second important reason? " " The second reason? ly, my dear, I don't care! " Kishore Shah 1974 --------------------------------- Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2007 Report Share Posted November 29, 2007 Thanks Renuka, But what do you mean wait? I have not taken a sabbatical yet. Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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