Fwd: Thanks for all your forwards !! - Very funny..

[Guest guest]

D ear Friends

With Christmas almost upon us, I'd like to extend my heartfelt

appreciation to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send

me " forwards " over the past 12 months.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue On

envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to

seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every coke can I open for the same reason.

Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I

know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing

characteristic.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be

pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a

water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a

Perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer eat KFC because their " chickens " are actually horrible

Mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214

angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I

forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five

minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the

internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I

Receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for

Participating in their special on-line email program.

Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will

now return the favour!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7

seconds, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diahorrea will land on

your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon. I know this will occur because it

actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's

ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician

Kind Regards

--------------------------------------------- Forwarded by -

Ayesha'96