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I basically lost most of my friends that I had before pssd not just because I

decided not to, only because I was too agitated that the chemistry I had with

them before wasnt there. Instead of being comfortable and fun, it became very

very awkard. The only people I rely on is my family. I was lucky to have one who

support me, but even they I dont think have any clue what i am going through.

>

> I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

> forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

>

>

>

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I would like to reassure you Varuna that you need not be alone solely due to

your PSSD. I had many other problems before getting PSSD including bad

depressions, OCD, and social anxiety. Despite having to cope with all these

problems I married a very kind young woman (13 years younger than me). I did not

get her because I am good looking(I am average looking) nor did I have money (we

are poor). I got my wife because she is a kind person who saw value in me when

no one else did. I am sure that if you are a decent person who is willing to

sincerly care about another, you can find someone. My advice would be to

selectively search out a partner via the internet or a support group. Be honest

about your condition and find someone who will care about you for who you are.

If you find the right person they will understand and be supportive. Sex is not

at the top of everyone's must have list. Don't define yourself by your condition

and don't stop looking. Remember you are not alone. Everyone in this group

shares your pain.

>

> I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

> forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

>

>

>

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I am not a DR. but the only peace one can have is through our higher power GOD !!! Lots of prayer will cure any lonley heart. Jesus is the lover of our souls, I truly sympathize with you. May God Bless,Dwayne

Subject: AloneTo: SSRIsex Date: Tuesday, October 20, 2009, 8:10 PM

I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

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Yeah, I can relate to this. I've drifted apart from all my friends and spent most of my time alone, because I just find it difficult to interact with them now. I don't feel friendly, I feel cold and distant. It's helpful in social situations because now I can simply barge through (I had social anxiety before), but it's an empty, dead world. I know when I'm talking to people that I can't ever get close to them, even if both of us want to. I don't have the emotion to do it, I feel like I have nothing inside, it's all a facade. I could fake it until the moment of contact, and then it would all be over. Casual sexual or romantic flings are out of the question.I have a few friends I was once very close to that I avoid religiously because I don't want them to discover my emotional impotence. I'm frightened I'll hurt them, or they'll find out I'm not who I

was. So far I've been holding onto the hope that this will change. But it hasn't and now I feel bewildered that I'm never going to be human again. I just want to run from all of this. I want to run to the ends of the earth and immerse myself in the most horrible things imaginable, because they're the only things that make me feel.Subject: Re: AloneTo: SSRIsex Received: Wednesday, 21 October, 2009, 6:01 AM

I basically lost most of my friends that I had before pssd not just because I decided not to, only because I was too agitated that the chemistry I had with them before wasnt there. Instead of being comfortable and fun, it became very very awkard. The only people I rely on is my family. I was lucky to have one who support me, but even they I dont think have any clue what i am going through.

>

> I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

> forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

>

>

>

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I was dancing with this beautiful woman the other night and I could tell she was

very attracted to me. We had a number of dances and we spoke quite a bit. She

asked me where I usually dance and she said she will go there. I'm sad, she was

very confident so why should she choose me, she can have the pick of the best. I

would have gone like a beeline for her before PSSD, she's special. Now I just

want her to go away.

Kavy

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> Get more done like never before with Yahoo!7 Mail.

> Learn more: http://au.overview.mail.yahoo.com/

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I encourage that you try not to interact with your close friends until you feel

like yourself again. its sad but true. thats what I did hoping somehow I'll find

myself again but they noticed I wasnt the same person I used to be. It became so

awkard, I mean being with someone you really hate for no reason, if you know

what i mean. it ruined the relationship I had. I am waiting until I recover and

feel like myself again before I talk to them again.

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> > I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

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> > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

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> Get more done like never before with Yahoo!7 Mail.

> Learn more: http://au.overview.mail.yahoo.com/

>

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evidently u can dance, it is a form of sensuality standing u know and some of us would love to be with a good dancer! ; ) linda rn

Re: Alone

I was dancing with this beautiful woman the other night and I could tell she was very attracted to me. We had a number of dances and we spoke quite a bit. She asked me where I usually dance and she said she will go there. I'm sad, she was very confident so why should she choose me, she can have the pick of the best. I would have gone like a beeline for her before PSSD, she's special. Now I just want her to go away.Kavy> > >> > > I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has > > > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a > > > life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________> Get more done like never before with Yahoo!7 Mail.> Learn more: http://au.overview.mail.yahoo.com/>

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I am frankly shocked and disappointed in many of the responses of our members to Varuna's question. One of our members comes to our group hurting and looking for advice on how to get through PSSD and the overall response from our members seems to be to just give up on a social life and isolate yourself. Sounds like good advice on how to give up and just kill yourself. Look folks, I have had to endure PSSD for 16 years now along with a host of other problems that I never wanted to deal with, but I am still alive and kicking. How can our members be so self-pitying and self-centered to advise one of our members to essentially throw in the towel? Do not take their advice Varuna. I will re-post my original response to your question in hopes it spurs better replies than

what you have been getting:

I would like to reassure you Varuna that you need not be alone solely due to your PSSD. I had many other problems before getting PSSD including bad depressions, OCD, and social anxiety. Despite having to cope with all these problems I married a very kind young woman (13 years younger than me). I did not get her because I am good looking(I am average looking) nor did I have money (we are poor). I got my wife because she is a kind person who saw value in me when no one else did. I am sure that if you are a decent person who is willing to sincerely care about another, you can find someone. My advice would be to selectively search out a partner via the Internet or a

support group. Be honest about your condition and find someone who will care about you for who you are. If you find the right person they will understand and be supportive. Sex is not at the top of everyones must have list. Don't define yourself by your condition and don't stop looking. Remember you are not alone. Everyone in this group shares your pain.

To: SSRIsex Sent: Thu, October 22, 2009 7:20:48 PMSubject: Re: Re: Alone

evidently u can dance, it is a form of sensuality standing u know and some of us would love to be with a good dancer! ; ) linda rn

Re: Alone

I was dancing with this beautiful woman the other night and I could tell she was very attracted to me. We had a number of dances and we spoke quite a bit. She asked me where I usually dance and she said she will go there. I'm sad, she was very confident so why should she choose me, she can have the pick of the best. I would have gone like a beeline for her before PSSD, she's special. Now I just want her to go away.Kavy> > >> > > I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has > > > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a > > > life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> Get more done like never before with Yahoo!7 Mail.> Learn more: http://au.overview.

mail.yahoo. com/>

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Well said. I, too, am shocked by the negative advice. The best way to fight this

condition is to throw yourself into social situations.

I've kept (and gained new) friends because I fought through the awkwardness, and

believe me, there have been plenty of awkward moments during the 5 plus years

I've had this condition.

Over the summer, I went to 4 weddings and hit the dance floor hard each time.

Because of this, everyone thinks I'm fun to be around and it has helped my

confidence immensely.

Get out there!

Luther

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> >> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> >> Get more done like never before with Yahoo!7 Mail.

> >> Learn more: http://au.overview. mail.yahoo. com/

> >>

> >

> >

>

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Im guessing the last 2 reply is talking about my posts ? I was replying to

seneillion not varuna. but I think i misread varuna's question that varuna was

talking about not having a opposite sex partner. My advice to seneillion was try

not to ruin the " OLD or BEST " freindship, NOT " NEW " , seneillion had if they felt

uncomfortable.

I think gaining new freindship and having a social is also very important to

recovering PSSD. But as far the OLD freindship, no matter how much I tried to

ACT like I was comfortable with my best freind whom I was freinds with since the

elementry, it made it even it even worse. Another freind I had who i considered

one of the best friend, I had a huge fight with.

Before PSSD he was more of the firy angry one and I was like the more watery,

calm guy who would fuse off his anger. So we had a good chemistry of being a

good friend but after PSSD, when I hung out with him, whenever he got angry, I

got angry and things blew up. So I lost two BEST friends. Im not saying this

would the case for everyone but more likely to happen if your persoanlity

changed like mine. So my point is there is no reason to force the relationship

or friendship if the chemistry is not there. this was what I was trying to get

across., not to become a anti-social.

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> > >>

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> > >> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > >> Get more done like never before with Yahoo!7 Mail.

> > >> Learn more: http://au.overview. mail.yahoo. com/

> > >>

> > >

> > >

> >

>

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When you say you were the watery calm guy, was that when you were taking

depressants?

To: SSRIsex Sent: Sat, October 24, 2009 7:17:32 PMSubject: Re: Alone

Im guessing the last 2 reply is talking about my posts ? I was replying to seneillion not varuna. but I think i misread varuna's question that varuna was talking about not having a opposite sex partner. My advice to seneillion was try not to ruin the "OLD or BEST" freindship, NOT "NEW", seneillion had if they felt uncomfortable. I think gaining new freindship and having a social is also very important to recovering PSSD. But as far the OLD freindship, no matter how much I tried to ACT like I was comfortable with my best freind whom I was freinds with since the elementry, it made it even it even worse. Another freind I had who i considered one of the best friend, I had a huge fight with. Before PSSD he was more of the firy angry one and I was like the more watery, calm guy who would fuse off his anger. So we had a good chemistry of being a good friend but after PSSD, when I hung out with him, whenever he got angry, I got angry

and things blew up. So I lost two BEST friends. Im not saying this would the case for everyone but more likely to happen if your persoanlity changed like mine. So my point is there is no reason to force the relationship or friendship if the chemistry is not there. this was what I was trying to get across., not to become a anti-social. > > >> > > >> >> > >> > > >> > I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has > > >> > > >> > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a > > >> > > >> > life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.> > >> > > >> > > >

>> > > >> > > > >> > > >> >> > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> > >> Get more done like never before with Yahoo!7 Mail.> > >> Learn more: http://au.overview. mail.yahoo. com/> > >>> > >> > >> >>

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A couple of weeks ago i was at a bar, feeling pretty good thanks to the alcohol.

I had just ordered a drink when this girl came up to me and started to talk to

me. I felt surprised and happy. She was so beautiful. I started to like her

really fast. But at the same time I just wanted to vanish.. She asked me if I

wanted to come and sit with her and her friends. I said sure. I talked a bit

with her friends and then one of them asked me if a wanted to come outside for a

smoke. I asked the girl I had started to like if she wanted to come with us.

When her friend had finished his cigarette and gone inside, me and her went for

a walk. I was stunned by how pretty she was. She felt really different from

anyone I had ever met. The next thing I know she grabbed my head and looked me

in the eyes. She wanted to kiss me. I didn't feel anything.. I wanted to cry.

No one should have to deal with this shit! Especially not when you are as young

as me and have never even had sex!

Later we went home to a friend of hers and got high. Then we walked around the

town for a couple of hours before saying good bye. I didn't even take her

number.. And now I will never see her again. Still i can't stop thinking about

her. It makes me sad that that was probably the closest thing i will ever get to

a romantic relationship again in my entire life! Before i had pssd there was

always one thought that still kept me going in life. The thought about one day

find the love of my life. Now all that's left for me in life is loneliness. I

can't cope with it.

>

> I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

> forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

>

>

>

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Yeah, that's when PSSD is at its hardest - when someone really nice comes into

your life. Then you hate it so much. It's so painful.

Kavy

> >

> > I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

> > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> > life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

> >

> >

> >

>

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no, and after taking ssri I became sorta jumpy and hyper. I used to have sleepy

eyes all the time and smile really relaxed but on the other hand on SSRI I was

smiley but not the same smile if you guys know what i mean.

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> > > >> > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> > > >>

> > > >> > life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

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> > > >> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > > >> Get more done like never before with Yahoo!7 Mail.

> > > >> Learn more: http://au.overview. mail.yahoo. com/

> > > >>

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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TKMYS,

What's the hardest part of your PSSD - the libido or the erectile dysfunction or

both? The loss of romantic feelings? Sexual desire?

Are you currently taking any SSRIs right now? Or other drugs that are affecting

your libido?

First of all, you are not going to spend the rest of your life alone. That's

simply not going to happen - and you need to convince yourself of this. We are

all going to get better - one way or another. Some will heal with time, others

will find a combo of meds/supplements to help heal themselves. Just the other

day one of us (can't remember his name) mentioned that a combo of clomid and

dostinex? and amantadine? has brought him back to near normal levels. Have you

tried this? Don't give up without trying! Give these meds/supplements a shot!

I'd also like to remind you that I've read of some folks on this site healing

via a relationship. In essence, they're working at beating PSSD, they're not

just waiting for it to magically go away. I often need to remind myself to do

this - to keep on living and moving forward, one step at a time. In my opinion,

the fact that you got excited by this girl, the fact that you were happy she

stopped to talk to you - man, that's a good sign! Yes, the sexual

desire/component is scrambled right now, but you've gotta believe we're going to

find a way to fix all this. And perhaps engaging with that girl, even if it

means going through the motions, will help you to heal.

Like most of us on this site, I don't know the answer - I wish I did - but I

still believe (despite the occasional dark, dark days) that we're all going to

beat this.

Keep your head up and keep trying. And keep moving forward.

-M

> >

> > I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

> > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> > life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

> >

> >

> >

>

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Seconded. I got married two years ago, having had pssd symtoms (not that I knew

thats what it was at the time) for three years prior. My husband and I are best

friends as well as lovers. We have settled into having sex much less.. maybe

once every four or five months.. because I find it hard. But I don't see this as

a static thing. We're working on it! Yes, PSSD makes sex very difficult, but it

doesn't mean we give up trying. But what I'm really getting at, is sex is a

small part of our relationship. Granted, its important, but so is friendship,

intimacy, love, kindness.. etc. Relationships are not all about sex, and this

condition does not by any means need to hinder people from entering into

relationships.

> >

> > I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

> > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> > life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

> >

> >

> >

>

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Kavy

Sometimes things doesn't have to make sense and you don't have to be always convinced of what you are to do . It is like having self confidance or not. I understand this is a bit more severe. Just go for the girl that you were dancing with. Maybe that is all you need.

Adil

To: SSRIsex Sent: Fri, October 23, 2009 12:44:46 AMSubject: Re: Alone

I was dancing with this beautiful woman the other night and I could tell she was very attracted to me. We had a number of dances and we spoke quite a bit. She asked me where I usually dance and she said she will go there. I'm sad, she was very confident so why should she choose me, she can have the pick of the best. I would have gone like a beeline for her before PSSD, she's special. Now I just want her to go away.Kavy> >

>> > > I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has > > > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a > > > life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> Get more done like never before with Yahoo!7 Mail.> Learn more: http://au.overview. mail.yahoo. com/>

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The hardest is probably not being able to feel any romantic feelings and no

sexual desire..

I where on ssri's for about a year and stopped taking them a little more than a

year ago. I havn't taken any medication since then..

I really hope you are right! that we can beat this.

To have endured a year with this disease have been a real hell. atleast for me.

> > >

> > > I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

> > > forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> > > life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

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I am interested to read the many responses that my e-mail has brought forth. I would like to say the following: I do not deny that there may be a woman out there who could love me despite PSSD. What I say is simply that, like many of you, I have been rendered unable to return romantic love either physically OR emotionally. It is fine to say that a relationship is about more than sex. Who could disagree with that except a teenager? However, romantic love is a combination of emotional and physical connection. For me, as for many of you, I can't respond on either level to someone. The point is, that even if they loved me, I couldn't love them back. I WANT to love them back, but that part of my brain sems to have been simply too damaged. A romantic relationship would be to painful for me, both because I can never truly make love, or truly feel love for a woman. Now, unlike some here, I have maintained a good relationship with my circle of friends. I am still capable of friendship, and am glad for the friends that I have. I thank you all for your responses.

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  • 3 months later...

You can certainly have a life partner while having PSSD. There are quite a

number of women who have very low sex drive. And it is also possible that you

allow your intimate partner to have sex with another person. And you can have

intimacy with her, even if you have no erection or orgasms. Be creative. You can

lick her vagina, kiss her etc...

>

> I wanted to know how many of you cope with the loneliness that pssd has

> forced upon us. How do you all cope with not being able to have a

> life-partner? I just wanted to ask. I for one cannot cope with it.

>

>

>

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Consider injecting. It's not as horrible as it sounds (see my prior posts). It

lifts libidio instantly and keeps you strong and verile for a few hours. It's

been great for me after suffering PSSD many years. I promise it will help you

all. Just give it a try. The injection is virtually painless and well worth the

enjoyment awaiting you.

>

> Maybe your right Steve. Maybe I don't have to be alone:)

>

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Does that help numbness as well or just with the erection aspect? My main issue has been numbness, but I can get an erection.

Subject: Re: AloneTo: SSRIsex Date: Wednesday, February 24, 2010, 2:44 PM

Consider injecting. It's not as horrible as it sounds (see my prior posts). It lifts libidio instantly and keeps you strong and verile for a few hours. It's been great for me after suffering PSSD many years. I promise it will help you all. Just give it a try. The injection is virtually painless and well worth the enjoyment awaiting you.>> Maybe your right Steve. Maybe I don't have to be alone:)>

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Sorry if I misunderstand, but I have no time to read this whole topic.

Injecting a substance into your body with a needle without proper medical

education is very dangerous. For example when you accidentally inject a little

air bubble into your bloodstream (with the liquid). Injecting without a licence

is also forbidden in most countries.

>

> Consider injecting. It's not as horrible as it sounds (see my prior posts). It

lifts libidio instantly and keeps you strong and verile for a few hours. It's

been great for me after suffering PSSD many years. I promise it will help you

all. Just give it a try. The injection is virtually painless and well worth the

enjoyment awaiting you.

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