Jan

[Guest guest]

I'm so happy for you Jan. Congratulations on your breakthroughs. They sound

wonderful,

Tim

" timitisi " wrote:

> Hey Jan, inspiring stuff. Well done. Maybe my problem with the work

> is that instead of having asking me " Is it true? " I have Adolph

> Hitler. Hmmm, that could explain a lot.

> Good to know that clarity can be found, and amazingly quickly by

> therapy standards, so thanks for your postings,

> Tim

Thanks Tim and I hope you remember that I've been looking all my life

for a way out or should I say a way to verify that in fact my stories

are true via various methods.

Also remember that I'm giving myself the gift of daily intensives

where I've decided to work on this from sunrise to sunset during my

vacation using The Work by Byron , Eckhardt Tolle's cd the power

of now, The Pathway - a two year program that really got me in touch

with my feelings, Pema Chodron's cd and books on tonglen buddhism, and

A Course in Miracles.

Like an addict who needed pain fixes to survive I finally was DONE. I

simply shifted from taking comfort from my painful identity to wanting

out and wanting freedom MORE.

I really believe that when your intention becomes that tenacious,

every person, every thing that life brings to you and the openness you

have to really hear allows you the grace to see in a way you've never

seen before.

Without that intention of really wanting truth, everything, even the

work and everything else I mentioned above simply becomes fodder for

yet another addiction - something that can actually hold you back from

totally seeing.

As long as you think Adolph Hitler is different from any other human

on the planet, you are stuck. Until you see that we are all

predators, we are all victims and we are all neither you have just

created another story that keeps you safe with your pain.

Like any good pain alcoholic I know how difficult it is to give up

something that you could trust would always be there for you. All

these years, and all I had to do was really ask...Poof....new door

open!!!!

Blessings and Best to you - Jan

[Guest guest]

I'm so happy that for this week you've been getting more sleep. Last

week you sounded so tired and this morning, when I read your post,

you sound much more refreshed. I'm glad your husband

is " cooperating " a bit more this week. Got my fingers crossed that

this continues.

I can't seem to locate the " Send " " Reply " " Trash " options you send

were at the side of the screen but that's because of me. It always

takes me a while but I get it eventually.

You said you hope we work something out for my father and those words

rang so true in my books. Plain and simple, caring for someone who

has LBD (especially for those who have the LBD patient at home with

them and are providing care 24/7) is " work " . Plus, it's the kind of

work that is thankless and doesn't appear to make a difference in

terms of how this disease progresses. In almost every other avenue

of life, your efforts make a difference but with diseases like LBD

and AD and a host of other illnesses that cause death and destruction

in their wake, work doesn't seem to help yet you end up feeling

exhausted and bowled over by your efforts. It's just so hard.

Keep up the fight Jan. Upwards and onwards.... I hope today is a

good day for you.

Abby

[Guest guest]

I'm so happy that for this week you've been getting more sleep. Last

week you sounded so tired and this morning, when I read your post,

you sound much more refreshed. I'm glad your husband

is " cooperating " a bit more this week. Got my fingers crossed that

this continues.

I can't seem to locate the " Send " " Reply " " Trash " options you send

were at the side of the screen but that's because of me. It always

takes me a while but I get it eventually.

You said you hope we work something out for my father and those words

rang so true in my books. Plain and simple, caring for someone who

has LBD (especially for those who have the LBD patient at home with

them and are providing care 24/7) is " work " . Plus, it's the kind of

work that is thankless and doesn't appear to make a difference in

terms of how this disease progresses. In almost every other avenue

of life, your efforts make a difference but with diseases like LBD

and AD and a host of other illnesses that cause death and destruction

in their wake, work doesn't seem to help yet you end up feeling

exhausted and bowled over by your efforts. It's just so hard.

Keep up the fight Jan. Upwards and onwards.... I hope today is a

good day for you.

Abby

[Guest guest]

Jan:

Your experience with your husband not eating while he was in respite

sounds very much like what's happening with my dad. He generally is

a good eater and not picky.

I'm worried about him only wanting my mom's foods though. The staff

at the nh has warned us not to get him too used to my mom bringing

him food just in case she can't be there one day and then he won't

eat. She certainly can't be there for all his meals since she

doesn't drive and has to rely on public transit. She's worried about

getting home too late when it's dark since her neighbourhood isn't

quite as safe as it used to be but she won't allow us to pick her up

and my husband and I have to find reasons/excuses for her to come

over and sleep here. We tried picking her up and she adamantly

refuses to get into the car. Her stubborn streak is another issue

entirely, believe you me!

Thanks Jan. I'll continue to investigate. My dad has lots of treats

and fruit in his room but he won't eat them either.

If it's not one thing it's another isn't it Jan? In the words of my

teenage students - LBD just plain sucks!!!

Abby

[Guest guest]

Abby,

Sometimes it is to hard to eat for the dementia patient. I use to watch

some of the patients eating in the nh, and the process is just to hard.

Mom would eat all I fed her. Course she liked home made food better,

and if that is what it takes and your Mom will do it never mind what

they say at the nh. On the other hand, maybe he has decided he will

chose his life course. You may need to support him in his decision which

will be the hardest thing you ever had to do.

If you go after school and he is not in a talking mood, you can still

explain your day to him. They understand a lot more than they are given

credit for, I think. It may just be difficult for him to talk back.

Mom could do one word or short sentence answers. Maybe you need to ask

him if he wants to hear about your day. It might work. I have heard

that the basic message they all understand is that you love him. And

you telling him about your day in a loving way, may be just what he

needs to hear.

Donna

[Guest guest]

Jan:

I'm not surprised that it's all part of the LBD. The only thing is

is that we're not bothered by his spilling of the food - he is. I

think he's embarrassed by it all. Either that or he just doesn't

think it's worth the bother anymore.

The LBD is treacherous. I know my dad also has a brain tumor but the

LBD is a much stonger force than the tumor on his cerebellum.

Abby

[Guest guest]

Jan:

I had to pretty much put the candy in his mouth before he chewed it.

If he had his way he wouldn't eat at all.

We asked him to select what he wanted for lunch in the hopes that he

would be more likely to eat that way. I hope it works.

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow night if I get a minute.

Have a good Sunday Jan,

Abby

[Guest guest]

I went ahead and made an appointment with Dr. Kittley for next week. I will have the results of my labs tommorrow. She looks like someone I can see for most everything so I hope it works out. Will let you know.

Pickle