work on family pt.1

[Guest guest]

im just gonna get to it.

im angry, frustrated, saddened by my brother because he is angry, frustrated

and sad. he refuses to take responsibility for his feelings, and lashes out

at others for his feelings of failure. i feel like i have to walk on eggshells

around him so as not to set him off.

i want D to see that his problems arent the worlds fault. i want him to see

that his hateful attitudes toward other people dont do a damn bit of good for

him or anybody else. i want him to grow up and learn to take responsibility

for himself. i want him to get off his ass and do what he loves to do (he is

an increadible musician). i want him to want to do what i want him to do!

D shouldnt think it's everybody elses fault for him being unhappy. he

shouldnt " unload " all his venom for others onto me and expect me to agree with

him.

he should be open to looking inside himself to solve his own problems. he

should lighten up ALOT.

i need D to take responsibility for himself. i need D to stop with the drugs

for escape when he KNOWS drugs are bullshit. i need him to heal his own

suffering. i guess i need him to do the Work, and seeee...

i think D is too smart to act so stupid. i think D is in a lot of pain and

wants to look anywhere but inside. i think D is a whiner, a complainer. i

think D has given up on himself. i think D is too full of excuses ( " anything,

anyone but me. anywhere but here, anytime but now. " ). i think D is scared and

paralyzed. i used to admire him, now im so dissapointed by him. this hurts

to say, but i think D is a loser.

i dont want to experience D's self-righteous rantings on how just increadibly

fucking STUPID, LAME, WRONG _______ is again. i dont want to hear D's

endless excuses for why he cant even get a job, or go to school, or get up

before

5:00pm again.