work on family pt. 2

[Guest guest]

im angry, frustrated, saddened by my brother because he is angry, frustrated

and sad. he refuses to take responsibility for his feelings, and lashes out

at others for his feelings of failure. i feel like i have to walk on eggshells

around him so as not to set him off.

he refuses to take responsibility for his feelings, and lashes out at others

for his feelings of failure.

*D should take responsibility for his feelings*

TRUE? CAN YOU KNOW HE DOSENT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS FEELINGS? no, i

cant. i know he usually does apologize afterward for his " blow-ups " and that

is taking responsibilty. i cant know how he feels about his own feelings.

HOW DO YOU REACT WHEN YOU BELIEVE THIS THOUGHT? i feel torn between wanting

to give him advise he wont listen to, and just letting him blow off steam. i

want to hug him and shake him and scream " wake up!!! " all at the same time. i

feel tension in my head and chest. i feel sad for him. i feel scared for

him. i believe hes cheating himself out of a better life because he's scared to

change. (i know, another belief to look into). im just feeling so frustrated

and helpless right now.

HOW DO YOU BEHAVE IN HIS PRESENCE WHEN YOU BELIEVE THIS THOUGHT? i give sad,

knowing nods. bewildered, humorless chuckles. i offer no opinion except

" hm. "

DOES THIS BELIEF BRING PEACE OR STRESS? sheeiiiiiit. you know its all

about stress.

IS THERE A STRESS FREE REASON TO HOLD ONTO D SHOULD TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR

HIS FEELINGS? not a stress-free one, no.

CAN YOU SEE A REASON TO DROP THIS BELIEF? no. im afraid to.

WHATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID? D would go on to waste his

life away.

hold on. i get it. yes, i see a reason to drop it.

BY THE WAY, WHO'S BUSIN--his. i know. GOOD.

WHO WOULD YOU BE IF YOU COULD NOT EVEN HAVE THE THOUGHT D SHOULD TAKE

RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS FEELINGS? i could listen to him without a motive to

change

him. i could allow his feelings to be just as valid to him as mine are to me.

i would be free of gritting my teeth and wincing when i hear a story of his I

concider invalid. i could let him have his space to vent and if i disagree

with him, i can be honest and kind about it. this is much better.

TA> i should take responsibility for my feelings. very true, cause here i

am!

TA> D shouldnt take any more responsibility for his feelings than he does.

truth.

TA> D can handle the business of his feelings. he dosent need me to do that

for him. God! True!

jeremy