work on dad

[Guest guest]

Worksheet on Dad, who died 2 years ago but he's back!

1. I'm disappointed in Dad b/c he did not teach me how to love men in a healthy

way.

Dad only touched me to punish.

2. Dad should not have been so strict.

Dad should not have told me there is only one way that is right.

Dad should have held me.

Dad shoudl be available.

Dad should stop preaching and grow up.

3. I want Dad to make Mom happy.

I want Dad to get off the pulpit and come home.

I want Dad to be affecitonate with me.

I want Dad to stop trying to save the world and pay attention to me.

4. I need Dad not to send me away.

I need Dad not to love God more than me.

I need Dad not to hurt and humiliate K.

I need Dad to practice the love he preaches.

I need Dad not to believe Jesus is the only way.

I need Dad not to tell me i will go to hell is i don't believe what he does.

5. Dad thinks he speaks for God.

Dad thinks he knows what's best for everyone else.

Dad is arrogant.

Dad is stubborn.

Dad is stunted emotionally.

Dad is afraid to know himself.

Dad is selfish.

Dad is holier-than-thou.

Dad is obsessive.

6. I don't ever want to hear Dad in my head again.

I don't ever want to feel doomed to live out Mom and Dad's unhappiness.

A start...

" Dad did not teach me to love men in a healthy way. "

1. Yes

2. I don't know. In the big sense i can't absolutely know it's true.

3. Feel like it's over. I'm doomed. If i didn't get a healthy basis from Dad,

i'll never be healthy. I make him responsible for my happiness and peace of mind

in relationships. I blame him for my rigidity, obsessiveness and fear sometimes.

[Thought: If Dad had loved me better i'd be happy.] I feel doomed to be unhappy

in relationships with me. I feel doomed to always feeling a heaviness over me,

just as i did in childhood. I get not to be responsible for myself.

Stress.

4. I would see Dad as a man doing his best.

I would see Dad as the best Dad for me b/c he was my Dad.

I would see that all he taught me or didn't teach me is bringing me home to

myself, teaching me to give myself what i want from him and P.

I would see Dad as a fellow human being, a fellow traveller trying to make his

way home, my brother, myself, rather than God--and on another level i might also

see him as another face of God.

TA Dad did teach me to love men in a healthy way.-- could be true i guess, hard

to feel deeply.

I did not teach me to love men in a healthy way. -- yes, let it begin with me.

now.

i did not teach me to love me in a healthy way. -- could be just as true.

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More to come. This seems to be a big one for me. Feel free to send feedback if

so inclined.

Love,

Heidi