Love - Heidi

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/19/2003 10:56:02 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

heifischbach@... writes:

> I realize that my beliefs keep me in fear and close me off to a huge

> segment of the population. I'm afraid of myself! This is painful.

> Anyone done the Work on this sort of thing or can relate and worked

> through it in some way?... I'd love to undo this story. It's old. My

> mind goes to my parents relationship and some of the messages i took

> on when i was growing up.

Hiya Heidi,

The messages you took on with your parents when you were growing up sound

like a great place to start. What's there for you?

: )

*mona

[Guest guest]

Hi ya Mona--

Here's what's there for me... I'll try this in present tense

although it's ancient history (except in my head!)

------------

1. I'm angry at my parents for giving me a bad example of a healthy

relationship.

2. Dad should not be attracted to T.G.

..Mom should not be jealous.

..They should teach me to be secure in love.

..They should teach me how to be friends with men.

..They should not teach me to be afraid of boys/men.

..They should not teach me that boys/men only want sex from a

girl/woman.

..Mom should not teach me that boys and men can't control their wild

impulses and that i always have to be guarded and in control.

3. I want Mom and Dad to be happy with each other.

4. I need for Mom to be secure.

..I need for Dad to make Mom happy.

5. Dad is selfish and proud and self-righteous.

..Mom is weak and a martyr and jealous.

..Dad and Mom think sex is a sin except in very narrowly defined

terms.

6. I don't ever again want to feel like i'm following in their path.

..I don't ever want to feel doomed to relive their relationship

difficulties.

-----------

May post work later.

Love,

Heidi

> > Hiya Heidi,

>

> The messages you took on with your parents when you were growing

up sound

> like a great place to start. What's there for you?

>

> : )

> *mona

>

>

>

>