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Re: Wonky thoughts...

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In a message dated 7/8/2003 10:05:33 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

marlamp@... writes:

> ...so appreciative that this group is here. It's hard to believe

> that there's actually an online group that works so hard to keep its

> focus, and so genuinely honors the input of others, even when it's

> difficult.

>

You're a part of this group, too, Marla! Listen to these turnarounds:

I so appreciate that I'm here. It's easy to believe that there's a person

like me who keeps her focus and so genuinely honors the input of others (and

herself) even when it's difficult.

> ...suddenly feeling nervous that my searching will only

> be " tolerated " for so long...apparently that's my experience with

> other people/groups when I want to dig into these things. Someone

> will eventually go " Good lord, get a life and shut up!! "

> ...feeling guilty for being a bitch and wanting someone be something

> other than what he is.

> ...feeling sad that I haven't been able to see the way to do better.

How cool of you to notice these little thoughts coming in after your Work. I

love that you're giving them some attention -- even if only by writing them

down. I can relate. You may see as you look at them that they could be brought

to inquiry if slightly reworded, too. So if they're feeling stressful to you,

you know the questions!

Love,

*mona

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dear marla:

Thank you :) for the following statements. They were just what I

needed to inquire into.

You said: " feeling guilty for being a bitch and wanting someone to be

something other than what he is. "

TA: " feeling guilty for my thinking I could be a bitch. "

I could be a bitch, is that true?

Sometimes, when I want someone/me to be different that what I/they

are.

TA: " feeling guilty for wanting me to be something other than what I

am. "

" feeling sad that I haven't been able to see the way to do better. "

I should have been able to see the way to do better?

Is that true? What is the truth?

Am I arguing with what is?

would say:

We begin now, sweetheart!

Always, we begin now.

Don't try to push yourself beyond your " spiritual evolution " .

And, yes, this group is quite amazing. Sometimes someone will

eventually go " Good lord, get a life and shut up!! " and it will

bring up some more good Work.

Actually, The Work is quite amazing.

Actually, The Truth is quite amazing.

Actually, Marla is quite amazing.

Actually, I am quite amazing.

Love, Steve D.

> After doing that first real piece of work....

>

> ...so appreciative that this group is here. It's hard to believe

> that there's actually an online group that works so hard to keep

its

> focus, and so genuinely honors the input of others, even when it's

> difficult.

>

> ...suddenly feeling nervous that my searching will only

> be " tolerated " for so long...apparently that's my experience with

> other people/groups when I want to dig into these things. Someone

> will eventually go " Good lord, get a life and shut up!! "

>

> ...feeling guilty for being a bitch and wanting someone be

something

> other than what he is.

>

> ...feeling sad that I haven't been able to see the way to do better.

>

>

>

> Marla

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In a message dated 7/9/2003 1:41:46 AM Central Daylight Time,

smilemona@... writes:

> How cool of you to notice these little thoughts coming in after your Work.

> I

> love that you're giving them some attention -- even if only by writing them

> down. I can relate. You may see as you look at them that they could be

> brought

> to inquiry if slightly reworded, too. So if they're feeling stressful to

> you,

> you know the questions!

Thank you, Mona. Yes, I really do notice a good deal of stress and emotion

arising out of this. I also notice that I am doing a lot of mindless eating

for the last two days, which is something I haven't really done in a number of

years. It's a response I didn't expect and I'm starting to make myself sick

here. I hope I can find a transition out of this phase pretty quickly.

Marla

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