Bev Tom

[Guest guest]

Thank you Bev for your very kind offer - should I need to do that, I

will address you directly here.

One of the fascinating things I'm finding is what Eckardt Tolle says

is true ....

When you deal with the pain within you only have two choices - become

the perpetrator or the victim - both sides of the same coin.

What amazes me after years of being the *victim*, I'm facing my pain

and its so empowering suddenly I've morphed into the perpetrator side

of the coin. Byron says something similar - can't recall the

exact quote.

It's almost like when I go to that place where I too can be just as

vicious as I perceived others were to me, I see that how the

" receiver " chooses to take it makes them clear or they join me in pain

and either become the victim or perpetrator right back.

Oddly enough this experience is strangely very healing. I'm glad that

I can simply accept it for what is and let it do it's thing...and I'll

also be happy to wave good-bye - but I'm clear that welcoming it,

observing it without identifying with it is crucial to releasing it.

The incredible learning that is going on while I stand here spells

freedom in a big way for me.

Tom-

I loved your post - it was as clear as water - you stayed with you and

when you do that it works big time in this space over here. Just like

Bev and Carol's posts - honesty so clear, so clean.

I'm so seeing that Byron is very right - if you react to

anything, it's yours. Abuse doesn't exist except in your thinking and

it took me being " abusive " to get that.

I've always wanted my mother to apologize to me. For what? How I

interpreted her being her? I apologize to me for allowing my own

thoughts of pain to lock me away for years.

When I see (neo) apologizing to Steve C. - it's so clear to me

that you must have an agreement that was the " abuser " and Steve

was the " victim " . For me how healing it is to get that I don't want

the apology from my mother any more - I'm at a place where I'm giving

up being the victim and I'm not seeing what she did anything wrong.

No apology necessary!!!!!!!!!!

Can anyone hear this????? My God what an ephiany that took decades

to build to this moment....

You have no idea how good it feels to see my mother as innocent and

beginning to get that at every single level of my being. I'm arriving

at a place that I simply thought was impossible.

I'm just gonna go let this settle in.....Blessings - Jan

[Guest guest]

> Tom-

> I loved your post - it was as clear as water - you stayed with you and

> when you do that it works big time in this space over here. Just like

> Bev and Carol's posts - honesty so clear, so clean.

Hi, Jan. Thank you for this feedback. I love hearing that what I do

for me over here has helpful effects over there.

> I'm so seeing that Byron is very right - if you react to

> anything, it's yours. Abuse doesn't exist except in your thinking and

> it took me being " abusive " to get that.

>

> I've always wanted my mother to apologize to me. For what? How I

> interpreted her being her? I apologize to me for allowing my own

> thoughts of pain to lock me away for years.

>

> When I see (neo) apologizing to Steve C. - it's so clear to me

> that you must have an agreement that was the " abuser " and Steve

> was the " victim " . For me how healing it is to get that I don't want

> the apology from my mother any more - I'm at a place where I'm giving

> up being the victim and I'm not seeing what she did anything wrong.

> No apology necessary!!!!!!!!!!

>

> Can anyone hear this????? My God what an ephiany that took decades

> to build to this moment....

>

> You have no idea how good it feels to see my mother as innocent and

> beginning to get that at every single level of my being. I'm arriving

> at a place that I simply thought was impossible.

Wow, Jan. That's amazing. Just a couple of weeks ago you wrote, " When

you make a request that absolutely impossible for me to do in this

moment, - I request that you forgive your mother - I feel you're in my

business. " Do you have the sense of having forgiven your mother, or is

it that suddenly forgiveness is not needed, or ...? I'd really like to

know how this is for you.

> I'm just gonna go let this settle in.....Blessings - Jan

So, how's it settling?

love,

Tom