Guest guest Posted May 21, 2003 Report Share Posted May 21, 2003 What is it about 's - Zen Bear's - behaviors that captured so many on this board? I am confused by 's ability to pull me into a part of myself that has trouble with authoritarian people who don't connect or see me but use me as a means to some end they have in mind. It appears to be true. When I see a post written by him I find myself pre judging it as either controversial or dismissive. I find myself judging everybody's posts now that I have a history of being here for a while. When I hold this thought, I feel judgemental and distant. I get into a SURVIVOR mode and see alliances between Mona-Heidi-Carol-Charlie-Steve D - Steve C. with Bev and April orbiting on the perimeter with newbies further out. I feel that I am in a reoccuring pattern of evaluating my place in the pecking order, examining how much attention/feedback I get or don't get. When I hold this thought I also have the urge to be just as controversial as to get more attention. I'm seeing as so satisfied - almost like a victory as he goads people to respond to his posts. I see that although different, I am doing the same exact thing - just with a different style. Without the thought I would be free, neutral and loving and realize the truth - simply is doing - as are the rest of the people on this board. Turn Around - I am confused by Jan's ability to pull into a part of himself that has trouble dealing with weak people. I am confused by Jan's ability to pull Jan into a part of herself that has trouble dealing with authoritarian people and by me wanting them to love me instead of use me... Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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