Re: FW: Help in deep story! CAROL!!!!!

[Guest guest]

April.. I know CArol will be the best one to ask.. but I wanted to add I had

this story of you as the perfect mom...

Taking your daughter to the cleanse.. and home schooling.. and all ... and

being so wise and understanding... and taking care of pets..

You still are the perfect mom... but I see your life is not perfect after

all.. I know your pets were happy to see you..big time... and your kids

too... love, roslyn

[Guest guest]

Dear April:

It sounds like you have a story that those children and those

animals " belong to you " . Oh boy, that one will bring you some

suffering. At least that has been my experience.

Was this the 9 day school in Tree that you just got back from?

Blessings, Steve D.

>

>

>

> April

> Help in deep story! CAROL!!!!!

>

>

> Ok, well I got back from the school. I had a horrible first few

days

> because I had this belief that my kids needed me and since I had

trusted

> them to care for themselves, that they needed to be called and

checked

> upon. it was suggested that I not do that.

>

> They are 17, 15 and 11. I left them with a list of things that

needed

> to be done...pets fed, homework, appts etc.

>

> I was assured that the kids would be just fine and could handle 9

days

> without my input.

>

> I returned to starved animals...no food, no water for a week at

least.

> The skin is hanging off my dog, they too have lost weight. The kids

> rooms are full of trash and ZERO homework was done. They went out

to

> dinner and spent several hundred dollars on fun.

>

> I want to go through all kinds of story!

>

> I learned a whole lot. My pets are not safe with my children for 9

> days. My kids will party and not take care of my house. They will

not

> do their homework and they will essentially be truant and enjoy

life if

> I am not here. I am not happy about this. I am also very happy

about

> it as I no longer have this huge attachment of these " responsible "

kids

> that I could not leave for fear of missing their love! LOL

>

> The turn around. I will lose love for them if they starve our pets

and

> not be responsible...yeah feels so damn true at this very moment.

I am

> sure that after I have cycled and worked this on paper it will have

less

> charge.

>

> Waaaahhhhhhh.........

>

>

> April

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Dear April:

>

> It sounds like you have a story that those children and those

> animals " belong to you " . Oh boy, that one will bring you some

> suffering. At least that has been my experience.

> Was this the 9 day school in Tree that you just got back

from?

>

> Blessings, Steve D.

>

>

Steve, yes, this was the Tree School. I left my kids with

directions for taking care of the house, animals....etc. I gave them

credit cards for food and gas. I also left cash. I had family

members call daily to see if they were OK....I wrote out a schedule

of pet feedings. We have two dogs, three birds, a rabbit and an

iguana.

All pets were starved.

Yes, I have a story that I am responsible for their care (the

animals) because I purchased them. I am not responsible for

anything more than feeding and watering them. I can't make any of

them happy but YES, it is my story that I am responsible for the

feeding of my pets. The children usually take part in this

responsibility.

So.....I let go! I came home to find sick animals. This was very

disturbing. The kids went out to dinner, they had a grand time and

the pets starved. This is not OK with me. I had an agreement with

the kids that in order for me to feel OK with leaving them with this

responsibility I needed to feel safe with that decision. They

assured me this was so. They had a clip board with all the stuff

they could need in terms of information. They apparently didn't

think they needed it! LOL

So yes, I felt so disappointed. I found more stories! If I love my

children, if I provide for them and I show them what consideration

looks like they will just " get it " ...LOL apparently not!

When I asked them to take a look at Demi, the hairless dog, this

morning, they said " what happened to her " ? !!!! When I put food out

and the dogs started growling and fighting over it...they were

shocked. The dogs had starved. This is still NOT OK with me. At the

school, suggested that when one realizes that they are unkind

to animals that it is healing to make ammends. I feel as though I

need to make ammends. I am staying in my business and I left the

animals with those who did not care for them. I need to make ammends

for me. It will stop my story....

Has anyone else come back from the school to get the teachers that

can show them the MOST " in their face " ? I can't believe how

many " teachers " have pushed all my buttons in all of 30 minutes! LOL

The " wayward " husband will be here tomorrow with an agenda that I

couldn't even keep up with on scratch paper! While agreeing to do

things for him I said " wow I hear from you that you have a lot of

stuff going on " ....I was called " negative, messing up his agenda,

trying to keep his kids from him, etc etc. When I suggested that he

stay here and be with his kids and I would leave so that he could

have full access to any of my things. (my thinking: that HE thinks

holds the keys to his needs.) He said I was again messing up his

agenda. I am to present this stuff for him in a form of reports and

then he will take the kids where he wants. Hey fine with me! I

wasn't trying to be negative at that time and while I can find

negativ-ism against him for calling me names, I didn't mean to.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

I really want to be fair to him and I am listening. He said I keep

his kids from him. He comes by once every two months. I am willing

to give my room and stuff to him for his comfort, and I am " mean " .

I want to whine! When I don't think of him I am so happy and full

of possibilities.

I am afraid that I will lose all the good stuff I learned! I amaze

myself that I am NOT hungry! I just want to go to bed, pull the

blankets over my head and dream of a nice life! LOL

Reality is biting! My stories were far sweeter! LOL

April

[Guest guest]

unless of course you believe that god is everything, even teenagers on

their perfect path! smile

Original Message:

-----------------

From: halperin6@...

Date: Mon, 24 Mar 2003 16:41:18 -0500 (EST)

To: Loving-what-is

Subject: Re: FW: Help in deep story! CAROL!!!!!

<html><body>

<tt>

April.. I know CArol will be the best one to ask.. but I wanted to add I

had <BR>

this story of you as the perfect mom... <BR>

Taking your daughter to the cleanse.. and home schooling.. and all ... and

<BR>

being so wise and understanding... and taking care of pets..<BR>

You still are the perfect mom... but I see your life is not perfect after

<BR>

all.. I know your pets were happy to see you..big time...  and your kids

<BR>

too... love, roslyn <BR>

<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

[Guest guest]

april --what ever your husband calls you .. can be turned around... So Ive

heard...

And I think people yell at those people they feel the most safe with..

sometimes yelling is therpeutic... so i have heard... Though I absolutely

hated my parents arguing..as a kid --and I think it stopped my communication

and my brothers.--my brother almost never talks... well I guess that is my

story...

Flo, my teacher ,says yell when you are alone .. that way you dont hurt

anyone...

Your husband may not be angry at you at all.. i think says that

somewhere.. can you really know why a person is angry.. is it really you?

probably not.. or at least not the only reason he's angry... your probably an

easy target...

roslyn

[Guest guest]

> April.. I know CArol will be the best one to ask..>>

Can you absolutely know that that's true? Actually I had the

opposite thought -- that April is the best one to ask.

So April...I haven't read through all the posts yet...so from here it

sounds like in leaving your kids alone, you experienced " the worst

thing that could happen. " So look at the " now. " Are you okay now?

Are the kids okay in this moment? The animals? Will the house ever

be clean again?

Are you seeing how the worst thing that could happen is the story we

tell?

Some things from your post to bring to the 4 questions:

The dog is skinny, and it means that...

Kids should not party when left alone.

Daughters should do their homework.

Children should be responsible for themselves.

I should not have left them alone.

I can lose love for my kids.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, I'm sure. And you know what to

do.

It was great to see you blossom along with the desert wildflowers,

April. You can't lose this stuff -- not possible. My story.

Love, Carol

[Guest guest]

April.. I feel like I am writing too much on here lately and not on the work

but i had been thinking about your dog.. And i wonder if the kids ignore him

because you pay so much attention to him.. my story anyway

When we got our 2 dogs i intended one to be for one son and one for the

other.. well they turned out to be my dogs... I'm the one who wanted them..

My kids didnt even like the dogs.. When I signed them up for obedienace

school with one dog they wouldnt go so i did .. I had to drop out because we

werent doing our homework.. although i told him to watch the other dogs and

he seemed to do really well... I wanted my kids to go... I quit guess it was

for me not them..

They just never liked the dogs and would call them names.. They both

preferred the cat ... who i hated..She loves me now that they are gone and

sits on my lap more since the dogs died...

If I had hated the dog would my kids have loved them..???? probably..probably

at least more than they did. or is that my story... I babied them like

crazy.. one almost died as a puppy and i nursed him back to health with

parvo.. so i guess we were very attached to each other.. and my kids may have

been jealous.. well doesnt matter... now they are both gone and the kids

moved out. .my sons are both shocked I havent gotten another dog yet... I do

love dogs.. maybe I spent too much time with the dogs.. and not enough with

them.. Oh great something to be guilty about .. another story...

Oh well..

.. I also just lost my glasses.. made me sick.. but I need a new perscription

anyway.. so I guess it is ok... no mistakes... sure appears to be.. sometimes.

My client gave me a St medal to wear to find them but so far no

luck...

roslyn

[Guest guest]

Carol,

Oh yes, I did see that " we " are just fine without the story!

The skinny dog? Well she just looks horrible because she has no hair

and so when she loses weight her skin doesn't just sag, it comes off in

sheets like a sun burn. It looks far worse than it is, she had great

strength to fight over the food when I offered it! (guilt all over the

place on me! LOL)

The kids should do their homework was a huge issue with me at the

school. I did several work sheets on this.

I homeschool and so I have issue over whether I " should " or " should not "

have expectations as their teacher. I came to the place where they are

" suggestions " . LOL (sound familiar?) Then another member at the school

said to take it off me totally and let them know that the " State of

California " has expectations/ good or bad/ they are there. I have given

the kids an option of doing this stuff at home meeting the criteria

their way or they can go to school, simple. Not my story anymore. I did

mention this and found some busy kids! I have no idea if they are

completing thier work, it is only a suggestion!

Thanks for the support regarding that this stuff won't leave me! After

I returned home, we went to the ballet, then to dinner, at this time I

got news that " the husband " had plans to come by with much for me to do.

(wow, so soon! He had been by 2 weeks ago! and rarely is seen twice in

the same month!) So it was as if all the teachers were lined up ready to

let me have it with homework to boot!

The mail in the hall was piled 3 feet tall. The IRS had both

underpayment by 1.5K and over payment by 20 K! LOL I laughed, and had

no story. Then the pile of forms for me to fill for " the husband " . He

is apparently getting a job within a couple of hours of here and wants

me to do the credential forms. This means that: " he will get a place for

his " now " girlfriend and him to live. Could be true, he said it, but it

means he is thinking this and again there are ramifications, if only

legally.

I do have some interesting information regarding the legal aspects of

this as I found a divorce attorney while eating dinner at the school! I

had planned to prepare for divorce, and the attorney told me not to be

so hasty!

So....I hear the Stones in my head: " You can't always get what you

want....but if you try sometime, you just might find.....you get what

you need! " LOL Yes, much to talk about with " the husband " and I will

get more information so that I am informed. The funny part is that the

best thing to do is for me to be on the lease etc for the girlfriend and

my husband! What a funny life! Yes, I can find it.

Sleep has helped tremendously! I was absolutely exhausted when I got

home. I got lost, I lost my driving glasses and could barely see to get

home! It was fun actually but I found myself in the student residence

area at a university! (hmm, wishful thinking?) " It " knows where it

wants to go!? Another story perhaps but a fun one.....

I am preparing to start my next course, beginning on Thursday.

Something about perceived pain and spiritual assessment of patients,

more reports. Funny how this all comes together. I wonder how they

will accept my questions, " is it true? " hehe...... we shall see!

I did not have time to chat with and I would love to talk to her

about a course for nurses. If anyone, they sure could use " the work " in

their workplace. Perhaps instead of going for the Nurse Practitioner I

could go for the nursing education degree, I have until next June 04 to

make the decision! At that time it is suggested that I declare a

purpose to the degree..... Oh it is funny! As if I had one! LOL

Love,

April

[Guest guest]

Ros!

LOL well if anyone is fed up of the dogs it is ME they actually pee

their beds! They are strange dogs and are early descendents of the

original African Dog. They have a tuff of hair at the end of their tail

and a bit on top of their head. They are like foxes and such and mark

their bedding with pee! Oh yeah! I just " love " those dogs! LOL

No, the kids love the dogs about as much as I (ewww what a thought!

Hehe) but they love just being teens alone for 9 days far better! It is

all OK.. The dogs are good, got the Iguana to eat..and the birds are

pooping as if they had been feasting!

Life is back to norm.. the kids went out with their dad today! First

time in months! I am stuck here doing his paperwork, which I tell

myself is my right to live in such a nice home.I am being paid upright

and I feel good about it. I say stuck because I must scan a ton of

forms and fill them in..yucky work. It pays well though! LOL Gotta

like that!

Here is where the reality sits in! This is where I live. It is all a

life long lesson and I adore it!

April

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol, I'm new here so I may not be getting your story right. As I

understand it, you are home-schooling. Could it be that your children

were rebelling by not feeding the animals & the other

responsibilities that you left them? It seems like they did not

respect you by not following your house rules while you were away.

How responsible are they when you are at home? Do they secretly

resent having to do their work(school or home responsibilities)?

I know that they prefer to be home schooled but is it the best for

them?

It is said that you get respect when you deserve it but children

don't always see the good that is being bestowed on them. In other

words you are trying to do good works with your children(school work)

but they may not see it that way in their minds. You may be looked

upon as the " task master " ............And when " " is away

then " Never-Never Land " becomes play land again!

This may not be your story & if it isn't then thanks for listening.

Lou

> Carol,

>

> Oh yes, I did see that " we " are just fine without the story!

>

> The skinny dog? Well she just looks horrible because she has no

hair

> and so when she loses weight her skin doesn't just sag, it comes

off in

> sheets like a sun burn. It looks far worse than it is, she had

great

> strength to fight over the food when I offered it! (guilt all over

the

> place on me! LOL)

>

> The kids should do their homework was a huge issue with me at the

> school. I did several work sheets on this.

> I homeschool and so I have issue over whether I " should " or " should

not "

> have expectations as their teacher. I came to the place where they

are

> " suggestions " . LOL (sound familiar?) Then another member at the

school

> said to take it off me totally and let them know that the " State of

> California " has expectations/ good or bad/ they are there. I have

given

> the kids an option of doing this stuff at home meeting the criteria

> their way or they can go to school, simple. Not my story anymore.

I did

> mention this and found some busy kids! I have no idea if they are

> completing thier work, it is only a suggestion!

>

> Thanks for the support regarding that this stuff won't leave me!

After

> I returned home, we went to the ballet, then to dinner, at this

time I

> got news that " the husband " had plans to come by with much for me

to do.

> (wow, so soon! He had been by 2 weeks ago! and rarely is seen

twice in

> the same month!) So it was as if all the teachers were lined up

ready to

> let me have it with homework to boot!

>

> The mail in the hall was piled 3 feet tall. The IRS had both

> underpayment by 1.5K and over payment by 20 K! LOL I laughed, and

had

> no story. Then the pile of forms for me to fill for " the

husband " . He

> is apparently getting a job within a couple of hours of here and

wants

> me to do the credential forms. This means that: " he will get a

place for

> his " now " girlfriend and him to live. Could be true, he said it,

but it

> means he is thinking this and again there are ramifications, if only

> legally.

>

> I do have some interesting information regarding the legal aspects

of

> this as I found a divorce attorney while eating dinner at the

school! I

> had planned to prepare for divorce, and the attorney told me not to

be

> so hasty!

> So....I hear the Stones in my head: " You can't always get what you

> want....but if you try sometime, you just might find.....you get

what

> you need! " LOL Yes, much to talk about with " the husband " and I

will

> get more information so that I am informed. The funny part is that

the

> best thing to do is for me to be on the lease etc for the

girlfriend and

> my husband! What a funny life! Yes, I can find it.

>

> Sleep has helped tremendously! I was absolutely exhausted when I

got

> home. I got lost, I lost my driving glasses and could barely see to

get

> home! It was fun actually but I found myself in the student

residence

> area at a university! (hmm, wishful thinking?) " It " knows where it

> wants to go!? Another story perhaps but a fun one.....

>

> I am preparing to start my next course, beginning on Thursday.

> Something about perceived pain and spiritual assessment of patients,

> more reports. Funny how this all comes together. I wonder how they

> will accept my questions, " is it true? " hehe...... we shall see!

>

> I did not have time to chat with and I would love to talk to

her

> about a course for nurses. If anyone, they sure could use " the

work " in

> their workplace. Perhaps instead of going for the Nurse

Practitioner I

> could go for the nursing education degree, I have until next June

04 to

> make the decision! At that time it is suggested that I declare a

> purpose to the degree..... Oh it is funny! As if I had one! LOL

>

> Love,

>

> April

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry, I meant to address April not Carol. Like I said, " I'm new " !

Lou

In Loving-what-is , " texlou2000 " <drussell@h...>

wrote:

> Hi Carol, I'm new here so I may not be getting your story right. As

I

> understand it, you are home-schooling. Could it be that your

children

> were rebelling by not feeding the animals & the other

> responsibilities that you left them? It seems like they did not

> respect you by not following your house rules while you were away.

> How responsible are they when you are at home? Do they secretly

> resent having to do their work(school or home responsibilities)?

> I know that they prefer to be home schooled but is it the best for

> them?

>

> It is said that you get respect when you deserve it but children

> don't always see the good that is being bestowed on them. In other

> words you are trying to do good works with your children(school

work)

> but they may not see it that way in their minds. You may be looked

> upon as the " task master " ............And when " " is away

> then " Never-Never Land " becomes play land again!

> This may not be your story & if it isn't then thanks for listening.

> Lou

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > Carol,

> >

> > Oh yes, I did see that " we " are just fine without the story!

> >

> > The skinny dog? Well she just looks horrible because she has no

> hair

> > and so when she loses weight her skin doesn't just sag, it comes

> off in

> > sheets like a sun burn. It looks far worse than it is, she had

> great

> > strength to fight over the food when I offered it! (guilt all

over

> the

> > place on me! LOL)

> >

> > The kids should do their homework was a huge issue with me at the

> > school. I did several work sheets on this.

> > I homeschool and so I have issue over whether I " should "

or " should

> not "

> > have expectations as their teacher. I came to the place where

they

> are

> > " suggestions " . LOL (sound familiar?) Then another member at the

> school

> > said to take it off me totally and let them know that the " State

of

> > California " has expectations/ good or bad/ they are there. I

have

> given

> > the kids an option of doing this stuff at home meeting the

criteria

> > their way or they can go to school, simple. Not my story

anymore.

> I did

> > mention this and found some busy kids! I have no idea if they are

> > completing thier work, it is only a suggestion!

> >

> > Thanks for the support regarding that this stuff won't leave me!

> After

> > I returned home, we went to the ballet, then to dinner, at this

> time I

> > got news that " the husband " had plans to come by with much for me

> to do.

> > (wow, so soon! He had been by 2 weeks ago! and rarely is seen

> twice in

> > the same month!) So it was as if all the teachers were lined up

> ready to

> > let me have it with homework to boot!

> >

> > The mail in the hall was piled 3 feet tall. The IRS had both

> > underpayment by 1.5K and over payment by 20 K! LOL I laughed,

and

> had

> > no story. Then the pile of forms for me to fill for " the

> husband " . He

> > is apparently getting a job within a couple of hours of here and

> wants

> > me to do the credential forms. This means that: " he will get a

> place for

> > his " now " girlfriend and him to live. Could be true, he said it,

> but it

> > means he is thinking this and again there are ramifications, if

only

> > legally.

> >

> > I do have some interesting information regarding the legal

aspects

> of

> > this as I found a divorce attorney while eating dinner at the

> school! I

> > had planned to prepare for divorce, and the attorney told me not

to

> be

> > so hasty!

> > So....I hear the Stones in my head: " You can't always get what

you

> > want....but if you try sometime, you just might find.....you get

> what

> > you need! " LOL Yes, much to talk about with " the husband " and I

> will

> > get more information so that I am informed. The funny part is

that

> the

> > best thing to do is for me to be on the lease etc for the

> girlfriend and

> > my husband! What a funny life! Yes, I can find it.

> >

> > Sleep has helped tremendously! I was absolutely exhausted when I

> got

> > home. I got lost, I lost my driving glasses and could barely see

to

> get

> > home! It was fun actually but I found myself in the student

> residence

> > area at a university! (hmm, wishful thinking?) " It " knows where

it

> > wants to go!? Another story perhaps but a fun one.....

> >

> > I am preparing to start my next course, beginning on Thursday.

> > Something about perceived pain and spiritual assessment of

patients,

> > more reports. Funny how this all comes together. I wonder how

they

> > will accept my questions, " is it true? " hehe...... we shall see!

> >

> > I did not have time to chat with and I would love to talk

to

> her

> > about a course for nurses. If anyone, they sure could use " the

> work " in

> > their workplace. Perhaps instead of going for the Nurse

> Practitioner I

> > could go for the nursing education degree, I have until next June

> 04 to

> > make the decision! At that time it is suggested that I declare a

> > purpose to the degree..... Oh it is funny! As if I had one! LOL

> >

> > Love,

> >

> > April

> >

> >

> >