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Posted
Posted

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

 

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever.  No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass.  Even

_______________________. "

 

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

 

I hope you will stay with the process.  You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

 

Good luck and welcome.

  Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

 

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up,

and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing

it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

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Posted
Posted

Welcome to the group.

Everyone deserves to feel their emotions and be their authentic self.

Good for you for taking the time to do this important work, just for you!

b.

> Hi everyone,

>

> I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

>

> I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again

and am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

>

> Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

>

> Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

>

> My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have

gained 5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry

that I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle

everything up, and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware

that I'm doing it but I don't know how to change.

>

> Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

>

> Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

>

>

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Posted
Posted

I guess I would ask what makes you afraid to " do upset " or any other emotion?

What do you think would happen that would be so terrible? Try it and see! Good

luck with everything going on.

Kim

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

 

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything

up, and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm

doing it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

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Posted
Posted

I needed to hear this today more than you can know. I was told today that my

position is being cut and I'll be forced to teach students with behavior

problems instead of students with mental disabilities/autism. I love what I do

and spend much of my free time reading and researching so I can do more for the

kids. I have seniority, but it's complicated. Since I haven't taught in the

position I want to move to I have to take this other job. This is after 24 yrs.

I'm sad, but I'll deal because I don't have a choice. I'll keep referring to

your quote .

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 5:27 PM

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

 

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

 

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever.  No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass.  Even

_______________________. "

 

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

 

I hope you will stay with the process.  You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

 

Good luck and welcome.

  Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

 

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up,

and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing

it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

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Posted
Posted

I recognize that quote. I have the whole reading where that quote came from up

on my bulletin board and I often use it when helping someone get through a tough

time. I also fill in the blank as you suggested .

Ford, CPhT

340B Coordinator

Mercy Hospital Springfield

Pharmacy Services

1235 E. Cherokee|Springfield, MO. 65804

Office: |Fax:

linda.ford@...

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Livingston

Sent: Monday, March 05, 2012 5:27 PM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass. Even

_______________________. "

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

I hope you will stay with the process. You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

Good luck and welcome.

Livingston

________________________________

From: mrsbree2004 <mrsbree2004@...<mailto:mrsbree2004%40yahoo.co.uk>>

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up,

and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing

it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

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Posted
Posted

Kim as I read about your job change, I just knew I had to share my story with

you. I have copied below what I wrote 5 years ago, about this same time.

Things were changing in a job that I had loved for 33 years. As an update to

what you’ll read below. A job opened up in a different hospital and I took a

leap of faith to apply. I was perfect for the job and they said it was just

like God had placed me in their lap. I can’t begin to tell you how much I

love this job and don’t regret moving on at all. I know other people in which

the same held true for them. I hope you find it to be so also…..

I wrote this in March of 2007….

I haven’t written about what is going on at my workplace and I’m not going

to go into all the details here. The one detail I will share is that there are

several positions in the pharmacy that will change from being a position and

instead will become a different company’s position. My position is one of

those, What it means for me is that I would no longer be a employee. I

will become someone else’s employee for 3 years and after the 3 years I would

be a employee again. I am having difficulty with that as I have been a

employee for 33 years. For about a week, I found myself bursting into tears

whenever the emotions overcame me. I have only had about 3 weeks to process

this development; although I have had months to watch the other changes that

were happening.

Throughout this process, I have been taking each day as it comes and putting one

foot in front of the other. One of the things I tell God each morning in my

prayers is that I am willing to learn my lessons by a tap on the shoulder rather

than the sledge hammer effect. So as things have developed over the last few

months, I’ve been on the alert for any signs that I need to make a change so

that I can avoid the sledgehammer. I have recently begun to question whether

this position is where God wants me right now. I have taken steps to show my

willingness to move on if that is what God has in mind. Most of the results of

those steps are yet to be revealed. For several months now I haven’t felt

good about my job and haven’t received much of the positive affirmations I am

used to receiving. I’ve been overwhelmed and overstressed. I’m used to

feeling overwhelmed time and again; but this has been going on since the

beginning of September. As news of my possible leaving has come out, I have

been given many of those positive affirmations again. I, once again, feel that

I am doing a good job with the time resources I have although if some changes

took place, I could do so much more. Perhaps things had to get bad enough for

me to think about leaving in order for me to speak up and be heard.

One of the things I have learned throughout this process is that once the fear

of hanging on too long became greater than the risk of letting go; I became

willing to let go and let God. I have placed this all in His hands. I have

prayed and meditated about it. One of the things that was shared at my last

Al-Anon meeting was…â€Where God directs me, He will protect me.†I also

believe that God is always protecting me from something worse or preparing me

for something better. I truly don’t have any fear surrounding this situation.

The emotions surrounding this seem to be more of sadness, disappointment and

grief. At the same time, there have also been feelings of excitement at the

prospect of a new challenge. I know God is my source and I will be taken care

of throughout this. My job is to be willing to do my footwork. One of the

things that comes up often during my prayer and meditation time is to trust the

process. For today, I will trust the process and know that there may be weeks

before I know what path I am going to find myself on.

Many of you have heard me talk about the affirmation I say daily concerning the

perfect job. For those who haven’t, the affirmation is…â€The perfect job

is seeking me and my life is in divine order.†The person who shared this

with me 10 years ago, explained that whatever my talents and gifts were; there

was a job perfectly matched to those talents and gifts. To bring myself and the

job together would be perfectly matched. I don’t have to define what that job

is because it would be limited by my imagination. I’d rather leave it up to

God. About 6 months after saying this affirmation, my job changed to my going

to South and my job has continued to become better each year. It has only

been recently that I have begun to question that.

Have there been times when you have “Let go and let God� What were the

results? Care to share? Have a wonderful week, unless of course you have other

plans. Cyberhugs,

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to

BE the miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Kim Siberski

Sent: Monday, March 05, 2012 8:08 PM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

I needed to hear this today more than you can know. I was told today that my

position is being cut and I'll be forced to teach students with behavior

problems instead of students with mental disabilities/autism. I love what I do

and spend much of my free time reading and researching so I can do more for the

kids. I have seniority, but it's complicated. Since I haven't taught in the

position I want to move to I have to take this other job. This is after 24 yrs.

I'm sad, but I'll deal because I don't have a choice. I'll keep referring to

your quote .

________________________________

From: Livingston <jenniferpl@...<mailto:jenniferpl%40yahoo.com>>

To:

" insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m> "

<insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m>>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 5:27 PM

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass. Even

_______________________. "

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

I hope you will stay with the process. You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

Good luck and welcome.

Livingston

________________________________

From: mrsbree2004 <mrsbree2004@...<mailto:mrsbree2004%40yahoo.co.uk>>

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up,

and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing

it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

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Posted
Posted

Perhaps you simply haven't had any experiences that developed coping with

emotions. Like, perhaps as a child you were never given the chance to work

though emotions - maybe you were given food to keep you from getting upset? If

you don't have the experience, you can't get it all at once. You don't learn to

walk by running first. So you take baby steps. Start with a little emotion,

like maybe you could watch a sappy movie (chick flick) all by yourself, and just

sit there through the tears and feel whatever you feel - purposefully done

without food, realizing that you are exposing yourself to something new and that

you can survive it without eating. I'm suggesting a movie because it would be

someone else's emotions that you are experiencing rather than your own, which

might be easier. Whatever you choose, start giving yourself the experience of

feeling without food a tiny bit at a time.

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

>

> I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again

and am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

>

> Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

>

> Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

>

> My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have

gained 5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I

worry that I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle

everything up, and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm

aware that I'm doing it but I don't know how to change.

>

> Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message

I can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat

to take it away...

>

> Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

>

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Posted
Posted

I can relate to a lot of what you describe and I'm here to tell you

that you are on the right path! I used food to numb myself and I also

had bouts of " self harm. " (acting out sexually, cutting myself to feel

pain just to see if I could feel anything!) The fact that you had the

insight means you are doing the work and you will get better!

For me, the road to recovery was about learning to love, accept and

forgive myself! Focus on YOU and doing the exercises and reaching

out for support and make the choice to accept yourself NOW however you

are: intense feelings, numbness, binges and all!!

I approach everything as a detective now: How long is this feeling

going to last? I see it as a moment of investigation, a chance to

really get to know how I operate. I keep focused on Solution oriented

questions. How do I want to feel? If I'm feeling angry and it's

causing me pain then I ask myself: What can I do to feel some peace

right now in a healthy way? Maybe I need to meditate, or take a walk,

or call a friend. Maybe I need to grab a pillow and beat it for a few

minutes or sob in the shower. Maybe I just need to blast the music and

DANCE!!

As you get better at this, the feelings don't overwhelm you and you

get your healthier solutions quicker! The key I found is to change

your physiology first, move or just try to sit up straight and smile

when you are depressed or angry and just that act shifts something.

Play around and have fun with it! Before you know it you will have an

arsenal of tools to cope.

Hugs and more hugs,

> Hi everyone,

>

> I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently

> to give them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get

> out' sentence at the end of the podcasts.

>

> I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started

> listening again and am actually doing the exercises and writing down

> anything else that I find helpful.

>

> Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough

> today...during the exercise where you have to find out what part of

> you objects to being slim and I every clearly had an objective

> little version of me crying out that I can't let people see what I'm

> really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very placid. The only

> people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

> certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband

> included) see an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or

> happy, or anything other than just normal.

>

> Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I

> rush to food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts

> forever, but I really don't like the feeling and at the moment the

> only way I know how to deal with it is to eat to soothe the

> feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self harm

>

> My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I

> have gained 5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about

> it because I worry that I'll get upset about things and I just

> 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up, and when it tries to get

> out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing it but I

> don't know how to change.

>

> Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this

> message I can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and

> find something to eat to take it away...

>

> Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

>

>

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Posted
Posted

kim,

i appreciate how difficult your choice is. working with a good principal and

team makes such a difference.

Re: New, struggling with feelings

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass. Even

_______________________. "

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

I hope you will stay with the process. You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned

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Posted
Posted

Thanks . I'm thinking with my heart and not with my head, but I guess I

wouldn't be in this line of work if that wasn't my personality.

I visited the other school where I would teach k-2 (my preference) resource

kids. Those kids would function above the students I have now. It would be an

easy switch as far as the teaching piece goes. I know several people there, but

I wouldn't consider any of them friends. I am visiting the BD program in the

morning at one of our other schools. If I take this I stay in a school I love,

with wonderful, caring people and a principal I admire. My associates also told

me they would make the switch with me and I do consider them close friends. I

really want the K-2 job in my current building which isn't an option. People are

asking me to stay, including my principal and special ed. director, although

they've also said I should do what feels right. I'm  afraid of making a wrong

choice based more on the people I work with and not the job itself. I've had

many of these kids over the years, but I've always had one or two here and

there, not the whole class.

Such a difficult decision. It does help to write it out. I think I need to make

a pro/con list.

Kim

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Tuesday, March 6, 2012 8:09 AM

Subject: RE: New, struggling with feelings

 

Kim as I read about your job change, I just knew I had to share my story with

you. I have copied below what I wrote 5 years ago, about this same time.

Things were changing in a job that I had loved for 33 years. As an update to

what you’ll read below. A job opened up in a different hospital and I took a

leap of faith to apply. I was perfect for the job and they said it was just

like God had placed me in their lap. I can’t begin to tell you how much I

love this job and don’t regret moving on at all. I know other people in which

the same held true for them. I hope you find it to be so also…..

I wrote this in March of 2007….

I haven’t written about what is going on at my workplace and I’m not going

to go into all the details here. The one detail I will share is that there are

several positions in the pharmacy that will change from being a position and

instead will become a different company’s position. My position is one of

those, What it means for me is that I would no longer be a employee. I

will become someone else’s employee for 3 years and after the 3 years I would

be a employee again. I am having difficulty with that as I have been a

employee for 33 years. For about a week, I found myself bursting into tears

whenever the emotions overcame me. I have only had about 3 weeks to process

this development; although I have had months to watch the other changes that

were happening.

Throughout this process, I have been taking each day as it comes and putting one

foot in front of the other. One of the things I tell God each morning in my

prayers is that I am willing to learn my lessons by a tap on the shoulder rather

than the sledge hammer effect. So as things have developed over the last few

months, I’ve been on the alert for any signs that I need to make a change so

that I can avoid the sledgehammer. I have recently begun to question whether

this position is where God wants me right now. I have taken steps to show my

willingness to move on if that is what God has in mind. Most of the results of

those steps are yet to be revealed. For several months now I haven’t felt

good about my job and haven’t received much of the positive affirmations I am

used to receiving. I’ve been overwhelmed and overstressed. I’m used to

feeling overwhelmed time and again; but this has been going on since the

beginning of September. As

news of my possible leaving has come out, I have been given many of those

positive affirmations again. I, once again, feel that I am doing a good job

with the time resources I have although if some changes took place, I could do

so much more. Perhaps things had to get bad enough for me to think about

leaving in order for me to speak up and be heard.

One of the things I have learned throughout this process is that once the fear

of hanging on too long became greater than the risk of letting go; I became

willing to let go and let God. I have placed this all in His hands. I have

prayed and meditated about it. One of the things that was shared at my last

Al-Anon meeting was…â€Where God directs me, He will protect me.†I also

believe that God is always protecting me from something worse or preparing me

for something better. I truly don’t have any fear surrounding this situation.

The emotions surrounding this seem to be more of sadness, disappointment and

grief. At the same time, there have also been feelings of excitement at the

prospect of a new challenge. I know God is my source and I will be taken care

of throughout this. My job is to be willing to do my footwork. One of the

things that comes up often during my prayer and meditation time is to trust the

process. For today, I will

trust the process and know that there may be weeks before I know what path I am

going to find myself on.

Many of you have heard me talk about the affirmation I say daily concerning the

perfect job. For those who haven’t, the affirmation is…â€The perfect job

is seeking me and my life is in divine order.†The person who shared this

with me 10 years ago, explained that whatever my talents and gifts were; there

was a job perfectly matched to those talents and gifts. To bring myself and the

job together would be perfectly matched. I don’t have to define what that job

is because it would be limited by my imagination. I’d rather leave it up to

God. About 6 months after saying this affirmation, my job changed to my going

to South and my job has continued to become better each year. It has only

been recently that I have begun to question that.

Have there been times when you have “Let go and let God� What were the

results? Care to share? Have a wonderful week, unless of course you have other

plans. Cyberhugs,

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to

BE the miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Kim Siberski

Sent: Monday, March 05, 2012 8:08 PM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

I needed to hear this today more than you can know. I was told today that my

position is being cut and I'll be forced to teach students with behavior

problems instead of students with mental disabilities/autism. I love what I do

and spend much of my free time reading and researching so I can do more for the

kids. I have seniority, but it's complicated. Since I haven't taught in the

position I want to move to I have to take this other job. This is after 24 yrs.

I'm sad, but I'll deal because I don't have a choice. I'll keep referring to

your quote .

________________________________

From: Livingston <jenniferpl@...<mailto:jenniferpl%40yahoo.com>>

To:

" insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m> "

<insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m>>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 5:27 PM

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass. Even

_______________________. "

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

I hope you will stay with the process. You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

Good luck and welcome.

Livingston

________________________________

From: mrsbree2004 <mrsbree2004@...<mailto:mrsbree2004%40yahoo.co.uk>>

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up,

and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing

it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

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Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Oh I would love to read the rest of that quote / reading.

I dont know how to give you advice Mrsbree (sorry could not see a name) other

than I know how it feels, and that is the journey we are on and here to support

each other. And as you type you are opening up to someone and releasing some

feelings. So congratulations you are changing it already, because you havent

done this before.

with respect,

Dora

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Tuesday, 6 March 2012 9:10 PM

Subject: RE: New, struggling with feelings

 

I recognize that quote. I have the whole reading where that quote came from up

on my bulletin board and I often use it when helping someone get through a tough

time. I also fill in the blank as you suggested .

Ford, CPhT

340B Coordinator

Mercy Hospital Springfield

Pharmacy Services

1235 E. Cherokee|Springfield, MO. 65804

Office: |Fax:

linda.ford@...

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Livingston

Sent: Monday, March 05, 2012 5:27 PM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass. Even

_______________________. "

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

I hope you will stay with the process. You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

Good luck and welcome.

Livingston

________________________________

From: mrsbree2004 <mrsbree2004@...<mailto:mrsbree2004%40yahoo.co.uk>>

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up,

and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing

it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Kim, I had a friend who taught BD kids, although she now teaches special reading

classes. One of the things she started here in Springfield was therapy dogs in

the school system. She got her’s through Cares in Kansas (I think that’s

right). Anyway, using a therapy dog with the BD kids worked really well. Her

school now has about 4 dogs in it and she is using her therapy dog with the

reading recovery kids. It’s quite neat to see the kids “read†to the dog.

It’s really encouraged them to read. With BD kids though, it was more of a

way to calm them down by petting the dog and also as a reward for good behavior.

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Kim Siberski

Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 5:26 PM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Thanks . I'm thinking with my heart and not with my head, but I guess I

wouldn't be in this line of work if that wasn't my personality.

I visited the other school where I would teach k-2 (my preference) resource

kids. Those kids would function above the students I have now. It would be an

easy switch as far as the teaching piece goes. I know several people there, but

I wouldn't consider any of them friends. I am visiting the BD program in the

morning at one of our other schools. If I take this I stay in a school I love,

with wonderful, caring people and a principal I admire. My associates also told

me they would make the switch with me and I do consider them close friends. I

really want the K-2 job in my current building which isn't an option. People are

asking me to stay, including my principal and special ed. director, although

they've also said I should do what feels right. I'm afraid of making a wrong

choice based more on the people I work with and not the job itself. I've had

many of these kids over the years, but I've always had one or two here and

there, not the whole class.

Such a difficult decision. It does help to write it out. I think I need to make

a pro/con list.

Kim

________________________________

From: " Ford, S " <linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>>

To:

" insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m> "

<insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m>>

Sent: Tuesday, March 6, 2012 8:09 AM

Subject: RE: New, struggling with feelings

Kim as I read about your job change, I just knew I had to share my story with

you. I have copied below what I wrote 5 years ago, about this same time. Things

were changing in a job that I had loved for 33 years. As an update to what

you’ll read below. A job opened up in a different hospital and I took a leap

of faith to apply. I was perfect for the job and they said it was just like God

had placed me in their lap. I can’t begin to tell you how much I love this job

and don’t regret moving on at all. I know other people in which the same held

true for them. I hope you find it to be so also…..

I wrote this in March of 2007….

I haven’t written about what is going on at my workplace and I’m not going

to go into all the details here. The one detail I will share is that there are

several positions in the pharmacy that will change from being a position and

instead will become a different company’s position. My position is one of

those, What it means for me is that I would no longer be a employee. I will

become someone else’s employee for 3 years and after the 3 years I would be a

employee again. I am having difficulty with that as I have been a

employee for 33 years. For about a week, I found myself bursting into tears

whenever the emotions overcame me. I have only had about 3 weeks to process this

development; although I have had months to watch the other changes that were

happening.

Throughout this process, I have been taking each day as it comes and putting one

foot in front of the other. One of the things I tell God each morning in my

prayers is that I am willing to learn my lessons by a tap on the shoulder rather

than the sledge hammer effect. So as things have developed over the last few

months, I’ve been on the alert for any signs that I need to make a change so

that I can avoid the sledgehammer. I have recently begun to question whether

this position is where God wants me right now. I have taken steps to show my

willingness to move on if that is what God has in mind. Most of the results of

those steps are yet to be revealed. For several months now I haven’t felt good

about my job and haven’t received much of the positive affirmations I am used

to receiving. I’ve been overwhelmed and overstressed. I’m used to feeling

overwhelmed time and again; but this has been going on since the beginning of

September. As

news of my possible leaving has come out, I have been given many of those

positive affirmations again. I, once again, feel that I am doing a good job with

the time resources I have although if some changes took place, I could do so

much more. Perhaps things had to get bad enough for me to think about leaving in

order for me to speak up and be heard.

One of the things I have learned throughout this process is that once the fear

of hanging on too long became greater than the risk of letting go; I became

willing to let go and let God. I have placed this all in His hands. I have

prayed and meditated about it. One of the things that was shared at my last

Al-Anon meeting was…â€Where God directs me, He will protect me.†I also

believe that God is always protecting me from something worse or preparing me

for something better. I truly don’t have any fear surrounding this situation.

The emotions surrounding this seem to be more of sadness, disappointment and

grief. At the same time, there have also been feelings of excitement at the

prospect of a new challenge. I know God is my source and I will be taken care of

throughout this. My job is to be willing to do my footwork. One of the things

that comes up often during my prayer and meditation time is to trust the

process. For today, I will

trust the process and know that there may be weeks before I know what path I am

going to find myself on.

Many of you have heard me talk about the affirmation I say daily concerning the

perfect job. For those who haven’t, the affirmation is…â€The perfect job is

seeking me and my life is in divine order.†The person who shared this with me

10 years ago, explained that whatever my talents and gifts were; there was a job

perfectly matched to those talents and gifts. To bring myself and the job

together would be perfectly matched. I don’t have to define what that job is

because it would be limited by my imagination. I’d rather leave it up to God.

About 6 months after saying this affirmation, my job changed to my going to

South and my job has continued to become better each year. It has only been

recently that I have begun to question that.

Have there been times when you have “Let go and let God� What were the

results? Care to share? Have a wonderful week, unless of course you have other

plans. Cyberhugs,

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE

the miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

[mailto:insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogr\

oups.com>] On Behalf Of Kim Siberski

Sent: Monday, March 05, 2012 8:08 PM

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

I needed to hear this today more than you can know. I was told today that my

position is being cut and I'll be forced to teach students with behavior

problems instead of students with mental disabilities/autism. I love what I do

and spend much of my free time reading and researching so I can do more for the

kids. I have seniority, but it's complicated. Since I haven't taught in the

position I want to move to I have to take this other job. This is after 24 yrs.

I'm sad, but I'll deal because I don't have a choice. I'll keep referring to

your quote .

________________________________

From: Livingston

<jenniferpl@...<mailto:jenniferpl%40yahoo.com><mailto:jenniferpl%40yahoo.c\

om>>

To:

" insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m><mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com> "

<insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m><mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 5:27 PM

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass. Even

_______________________. "

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

I hope you will stay with the process. You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

Good luck and welcome.

Livingston

________________________________

From: mrsbree2004

<mrsbree2004@...<mailto:mrsbree2004%40yahoo.co.uk><mailto:mrsbree2004%40\

yahoo.co.uk>>

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

><mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up,

and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing

it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

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Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Thanks .

Your share was very pertinent to me. I have been teaching music lessons since

2004 and this year may be my last, at least for doing it full time. I am

starting a truck driving job part time that could transition to full time and

permanent. I absolutely LOVE teaching. I am damned good at it too. My students

who practice all do very well. I study to be a better teacher and I learn how to

do it better all the time. I just struggle to make ends meet. I need some dental

benefits so I can get my teeth and my wife's teeth fixed. I have not had mine

looked at for about 3 years because I know I can not afford to get the work

done. She needs probably 2 crowns and some fillings. I know I need at least as

much because 2 of my teeth are now broken.

So I am alternating between looking forward to the new, and the deep grief at

losing another career that I love. In 2004 I became an ex-pastor, now I am

becoming an ex-musician and am going back to being a truck driver. I am amazed

that I can start with this company at $19 per hour, going up to $20 in 3 months

and a dollar a year. Full health and dental sounds good, and I have not had a

paid holiday in 7 years. Just that I will miss being my own boss, and I will

miss my students. Once I go full time I will have to drop my schools and just

maybe have a few students in the weekday evenings. Change is difficult, and it

is hard to leave behind something you love.

My 12 step group reminds me to take it 1 day at a time and that all I can do is

try to focus on the next right thing. I can trust that I am being cared for by

someone that is much more powerful than I who loves me.

 

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

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Guest guest

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Posted
Posted

Wow !

Great idea. This makes sense. I am going to try this. It seems safer than trying

to face my own feelings all at once head on.

 

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Tuesday, March 6, 2012 9:50:27 AM

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

 

Perhaps you simply haven't had any experiences that developed coping with

emotions. Like, perhaps as a child you were never given the chance to work

though emotions - maybe you were given food to keep you from getting upset? If

you don't have the experience, you can't get it all at once. You don't learn to

walk by running first. So you take baby steps. Start with a little emotion,

like maybe you could watch a sappy movie (chick flick) all by yourself, and just

sit there through the tears and feel whatever you feel - purposefully done

without food, realizing that you are exposing yourself to something new and that

you can survive it without eating. I'm suggesting a movie because it would be

someone else's emotions that you are experiencing rather than your own, which

might be easier. Whatever you choose, start giving yourself the experience of

feeling without food a tiny bit at a time.

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Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Carlton, It sounds like you have the right attitude. I went through a deep

" grieving " process when leaving the previous job. Many of those people were

family to me. I knew though that God was moving me to a different area and that

meant either I was going to be touched by someone I wouldn't have otherwise

and/or someone needed to be touched by me. Both have happened for me. No

regrets here at all. I try to remind myself that change doesn't have to be

scary. I can choose to see it as exciting and to invite those butterflies in my

stomach up into my heart. :) God has brought me this far. He isn't going to

drop me now.

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Carlton Larsen

Sent: Wednesday, March 07, 2012 9:15 AM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Thanks .

Your share was very pertinent to me. I have been teaching music lessons since

2004 and this year may be my last, at least for doing it full time. I am

starting a truck driving job part time that could transition to full time and

permanent. I absolutely LOVE teaching. I am damned good at it too. My students

who practice all do very well. I study to be a better teacher and I learn how to

do it better all the time. I just struggle to make ends meet. I need some dental

benefits so I can get my teeth and my wife's teeth fixed. I have not had mine

looked at for about 3 years because I know I can not afford to get the work

done. She needs probably 2 crowns and some fillings. I know I need at least as

much because 2 of my teeth are now broken.

So I am alternating between looking forward to the new, and the deep grief at

losing another career that I love. In 2004 I became an ex-pastor, now I am

becoming an ex-musician and am going back to being a truck driver. I am amazed

that I can start with this company at $19 per hour, going up to $20 in 3 months

and a dollar a year. Full health and dental sounds good, and I have not had a

paid holiday in 7 years. Just that I will miss being my own boss, and I will

miss my students. Once I go full time I will have to drop my schools and just

maybe have a few students in the weekday evenings. Change is difficult, and it

is hard to leave behind something you love.

My 12 step group reminds me to take it 1 day at a time and that all I can do is

try to focus on the next right thing. I can trust that I am being cared for by

someone that is much more powerful than I who loves me.

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

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Posted
Posted

If you privately email me, I’d be glad to share it with you.

Ford, CPhT

340B Coordinator

Mercy Hospital Springfield

Pharmacy Services

1235 E. Cherokee|Springfield, MO. 65804

Office: |Fax:

linda.ford@...

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Dora Peluca

Sent: Wednesday, March 07, 2012 2:57 AM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Oh I would love to read the rest of that quote / reading.

I dont know how to give you advice Mrsbree (sorry could not see a name) other

than I know how it feels, and that is the journey we are on and here to support

each other. And as you type you are opening up to someone and releasing some

feelings. So congratulations you are changing it already, because you havent

done this before.

with respect,

Dora

________________________________

From: " Ford, S " <linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>>

To:

" insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m> "

<insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m>>

Sent: Tuesday, 6 March 2012 9:10 PM

Subject: RE: New, struggling with feelings

I recognize that quote. I have the whole reading where that quote came from up

on my bulletin board and I often use it when helping someone get through a tough

time. I also fill in the blank as you suggested .

Ford, CPhT

340B Coordinator

Mercy Hospital Springfield

Pharmacy Services

1235 E. Cherokee|Springfield, MO. 65804

Office: |Fax:

linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net><mailto:linda.ford@...<\

mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>>

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

[mailto:insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogr\

oups.com>] On Behalf Of Livingston

Sent: Monday, March 05, 2012 5:27 PM

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass. Even

_______________________. "

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

I hope you will stay with the process. You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

Good luck and welcome.

Livingston

________________________________

From: mrsbree2004

<mrsbree2004@...<mailto:mrsbree2004%40yahoo.co.uk><mailto:mrsbree2004%40\

yahoo.co.uk>>

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

><mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up,

and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing

it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

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Posted
Posted

One of our autism rooms has a therapy dog. The teacher bought the dog on her own

and is allowed to bring it to school sometimes. I've thought about it. I think

it would work wonders!

Thanks for the support!

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Wednesday, March 7, 2012 7:19 AM

Subject: RE: New, struggling with feelings

 

Kim, I had a friend who taught BD kids, although she now teaches special reading

classes. One of the things she started here in Springfield was therapy dogs in

the school system. She got her’s through Cares in Kansas (I think that’s

right). Anyway, using a therapy dog with the BD kids worked really well. Her

school now has about 4 dogs in it and she is using her therapy dog with the

reading recovery kids. It’s quite neat to see the kids “read†to the dog.

It’s really encouraged them to read. With BD kids though, it was more of a

way to calm them down by petting the dog and also as a reward for good behavior.

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the

miracle. "

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Kim Siberski

Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 5:26 PM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Thanks . I'm thinking with my heart and not with my head, but I guess I

wouldn't be in this line of work if that wasn't my personality.

I visited the other school where I would teach k-2 (my preference) resource

kids. Those kids would function above the students I have now. It would be an

easy switch as far as the teaching piece goes. I know several people there, but

I wouldn't consider any of them friends. I am visiting the BD program in the

morning at one of our other schools. If I take this I stay in a school I love,

with wonderful, caring people and a principal I admire. My associates also told

me they would make the switch with me and I do consider them close friends. I

really want the K-2 job in my current building which isn't an option. People are

asking me to stay, including my principal and special ed. director, although

they've also said I should do what feels right. I'm afraid of making a wrong

choice based more on the people I work with and not the job itself. I've had

many of these kids over the years, but I've always had one or two here and

there, not the whole class.

Such a difficult decision. It does help to write it out. I think I need to make

a pro/con list.

Kim

________________________________

From: " Ford, S " <linda.ford@...<mailto:linda.ford%40mercy.net>>

To:

" insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m> "

<insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m>>

Sent: Tuesday, March 6, 2012 8:09 AM

Subject: RE: New, struggling with feelings

Kim as I read about your job change, I just knew I had to share my story with

you. I have copied below what I wrote 5 years ago, about this same time. Things

were changing in a job that I had loved for 33 years. As an update to what

you’ll read below. A job opened up in a different hospital and I took a leap

of faith to apply. I was perfect for the job and they said it was just like God

had placed me in their lap. I can’t begin to tell you how much I love this job

and don’t regret moving on at all. I know other people in which the same held

true for them. I hope you find it to be so also…..

I wrote this in March of 2007….

I haven’t written about what is going on at my workplace and I’m not going

to go into all the details here. The one detail I will share is that there are

several positions in the pharmacy that will change from being a position and

instead will become a different company’s position. My position is one of

those, What it means for me is that I would no longer be a employee. I will

become someone else’s employee for 3 years and after the 3 years I would be a

employee again. I am having difficulty with that as I have been a

employee for 33 years. For about a week, I found myself bursting into tears

whenever the emotions overcame me. I have only had about 3 weeks to process this

development; although I have had months to watch the other changes that were

happening.

Throughout this process, I have been taking each day as it comes and putting one

foot in front of the other. One of the things I tell God each morning in my

prayers is that I am willing to learn my lessons by a tap on the shoulder rather

than the sledge hammer effect. So as things have developed over the last few

months, I’ve been on the alert for any signs that I need to make a change so

that I can avoid the sledgehammer. I have recently begun to question whether

this position is where God wants me right now. I have taken steps to show my

willingness to move on if that is what God has in mind. Most of the results of

those steps are yet to be revealed. For several months now I haven’t felt good

about my job and haven’t received much of the positive affirmations I am used

to receiving. I’ve been overwhelmed and overstressed. I’m used to feeling

overwhelmed time and again; but this has been going on since the beginning of

September. As

news of my possible leaving has come out, I have been given many of those

positive affirmations again. I, once again, feel that I am doing a good job with

the time resources I have although if some changes took place, I could do so

much more. Perhaps things had to get bad enough for me to think about leaving in

order for me to speak up and be heard.

One of the things I have learned throughout this process is that once the fear

of hanging on too long became greater than the risk of letting go; I became

willing to let go and let God. I have placed this all in His hands. I have

prayed and meditated about it. One of the things that was shared at my last

Al-Anon meeting was…â€Where God directs me, He will protect me.†I also

believe that God is always protecting me from something worse or preparing me

for something better. I truly don’t have any fear surrounding this situation.

The emotions surrounding this seem to be more of sadness, disappointment and

grief. At the same time, there have also been feelings of excitement at the

prospect of a new challenge. I know God is my source and I will be taken care of

throughout this. My job is to be willing to do my footwork. One of the things

that comes up often during my prayer and meditation time is to trust the

process. For today, I will

trust the process and know that there may be weeks before I know what path I am

going to find myself on.

Many of you have heard me talk about the affirmation I say daily concerning the

perfect job. For those who haven’t, the affirmation is…â€The perfect job is

seeking me and my life is in divine order.†The person who shared this with me

10 years ago, explained that whatever my talents and gifts were; there was a job

perfectly matched to those talents and gifts. To bring myself and the job

together would be perfectly matched. I don’t have to define what that job is

because it would be limited by my imagination. I’d rather leave it up to God.

About 6 months after saying this affirmation, my job changed to my going to

South and my job has continued to become better each year. It has only been

recently that I have begun to question that.

Have there been times when you have “Let go and let God� What were the

results? Care to share? Have a wonderful week, unless of course you have other

plans. Cyberhugs,

" Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE

the miracle. "

Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

From:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

[mailto:insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogr\

oups.com>] On Behalf Of Kim Siberski

Sent: Monday, March 05, 2012 8:08 PM

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

I needed to hear this today more than you can know. I was told today that my

position is being cut and I'll be forced to teach students with behavior

problems instead of students with mental disabilities/autism. I love what I do

and spend much of my free time reading and researching so I can do more for the

kids. I have seniority, but it's complicated. Since I haven't taught in the

position I want to move to I have to take this other job. This is after 24 yrs.

I'm sad, but I'll deal because I don't have a choice. I'll keep referring to

your quote .

________________________________

From: Livingston

<jenniferpl@...<mailto:jenniferpl%40yahoo.com><mailto:jenniferpl%40yahoo.c\

om>>

To:

" insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m><mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com> "

<insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.co\

m><mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 5:27 PM

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass. Even

_______________________. "

I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

I hope you will stay with the process. You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

Good luck and welcome.

Livingston

________________________________

From: mrsbree2004

<mrsbree2004@...<mailto:mrsbree2004%40yahoo.co.uk><mailto:mrsbree2004%40\

yahoo.co.uk>>

To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

><mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>

Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

Subject: New, struggling with feelings

Hi everyone,

I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again and

am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have gained

5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry that

I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up,

and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing

it but I don't know how to change.

Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

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Posted
Posted

I met with one of my parents today and someone else told them about what was

going on. She is heading to administration to fight for her daughter to stay

with me. The general ed. teacher also said the child wouldn't be as far as she

is without my  help. All those compliments are flattering, but in the end we

all want the best situation for our students.

Good luck with the new job. The money and benefits will be nice. I guess there

are trade offs in everything.

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Wednesday, March 7, 2012 9:15 AM

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

 

Thanks .

Your share was very pertinent to me. I have been teaching music lessons since

2004 and this year may be my last, at least for doing it full time. I am

starting a truck driving job part time that could transition to full time and

permanent. I absolutely LOVE teaching. I am damned good at it too. My students

who practice all do very well. I study to be a better teacher and I learn how to

do it better all the time. I just struggle to make ends meet. I need some dental

benefits so I can get my teeth and my wife's teeth fixed. I have not had mine

looked at for about 3 years because I know I can not afford to get the work

done. She needs probably 2 crowns and some fillings. I know I need at least as

much because 2 of my teeth are now broken.

So I am alternating between looking forward to the new, and the deep grief at

losing another career that I love. In 2004 I became an ex-pastor, now I am

becoming an ex-musician and am going back to being a truck driver. I am amazed

that I can start with this company at $19 per hour, going up to $20 in 3 months

and a dollar a year. Full health and dental sounds good, and I have not had a

paid holiday in 7 years. Just that I will miss being my own boss, and I will

miss my students. Once I go full time I will have to drop my schools and just

maybe have a few students in the weekday evenings. Change is difficult, and it

is hard to leave behind something you love.

My 12 step group reminds me to take it 1 day at a time and that all I can do is

try to focus on the next right thing. I can trust that I am being cared for by

someone that is much more powerful than I who loves me.

 

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

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Posted
Posted

Thanks .

The odd thing is I am the worlds worst crier at anything on the telly! I'm the

one who cries at The Biggest Loser, the soaps, the charity things on the telly -

you name it, I cry. But something happens within my life and I just shut off -

my husband and I are going through a bad patch at the moment and I just shut off

completely. Sometimes I feel the tears there like they're ready to flow - just

now I typed out exactly what our problems are and felt the tears behind my eyes

so hit the delete key. I guess food is my real life delete key.

A therapist I used to see said she thought I saw that as a safe way to unleash

pent up emotions. I don't see it as that when I do cry, but it does make sense.

I don't remember being given food to soothe problems when I was younger, but I

do watch my mum with my own children now and any time they're upset she's always

rushing to 'ssshhh' them and tells them everyone's looking at them so they

shouldn't be crying. Maybe it was the same with me too? As a teenager I used

to write in my journal a lot and I think that was my outlet. I find it harder

to do now, the words don't seem to flow as easily as they used to.

Thank you for advising babysteps. It is naive of me to expect I'm suddenly

going to start feeling everything and be ok without my crutch of food. Maybe I

need a new crutch? Food soothes and comforts me, I need a new comforter.

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

> >

> > I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again

and am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

> >

> > Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough

today...during the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects

to being slim and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying

out that I can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde

I'm very placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters

and to a certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband

included) see an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or

anything other than just normal.

> >

> > Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

> >

> > My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have

gained 5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I

worry that I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle

everything up, and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm

aware that I'm doing it but I don't know how to change.

> >

> > Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this

message I can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something

to eat to take it away...

> >

> > Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

Thanks for your kind words.

I am hoping that the fact I know I'm doing it is a step in the right direction,

but at the same time part of me feels I know I've been doing it for ages and I'm

still here. So I guess that takes it back to a statement in an early podcast

which was that if all of you wanted to change you would have done it already.

I really feel the key for me is learning how to deal with my emotions - if I'm

not overeating then I'm self harming, if I smoked I'm sure I'd be smoking

instead of either of the above.

I really like the idea of being a detective about it all. It seems like such

hard work at the moment and it's something that should be so natural (I'm

talking about feelings here, not eating), but it's reassuring to hear you've

come out of the other side of this.

>

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently

> > to give them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get

> > out' sentence at the end of the podcasts.

> >

> > I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started

> > listening again and am actually doing the exercises and writing down

> > anything else that I find helpful.

> >

> > Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough

> > today...during the exercise where you have to find out what part of

> > you objects to being slim and I every clearly had an objective

> > little version of me crying out that I can't let people see what I'm

> > really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very placid. The only

> > people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

> > certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband

> > included) see an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or

> > happy, or anything other than just normal.

> >

> > Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I

> > rush to food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts

> > forever, but I really don't like the feeling and at the moment the

> > only way I know how to deal with it is to eat to soothe the

> > feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self harm

> >

> > My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I

> > have gained 5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about

> > it because I worry that I'll get upset about things and I just

> > 'don't do' upset. I bottle everything up, and when it tries to get

> > out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware that I'm doing it but I

> > don't know how to change.

> >

> > Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this

> > message I can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and

> > find something to eat to take it away...

> >

> > Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

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Share on other sites
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Posted
Posted

Thank you, I love that quote, I am going to write it in my journal.

x

>

> Oh I would love to read the rest of that quote / reading.

>

> I dont know how to give you advice Mrsbree (sorry could not see a name) other

than I know how it feels, and that is the journey we are on and here to support

each other. And as you type you are opening up to someone and releasing some

feelings. So congratulations you are changing it already, because you havent

done this before.

>

> with respect,

> Dora

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: " insideoutweightloss "

<insideoutweightloss >

> Sent: Tuesday, 6 March 2012 9:10 PM

> Subject: RE: New, struggling with feelings

>

>

>  

> I recognize that quote. I have the whole reading where that quote came from

up on my bulletin board and I often use it when helping someone get through a

tough time. I also fill in the blank as you suggested .

>

> Ford, CPhT

> 340B Coordinator

> Mercy Hospital Springfield

> Pharmacy Services

> 1235 E. Cherokee|Springfield, MO. 65804

> Office: |Fax:

> linda.ford@...

> " Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE

the miracle. "

> Mercy.... One of the Nation's Top Integrated Health Systems

>

> From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Livingston

> Sent: Monday, March 05, 2012 5:27 PM

> To: insideoutweightloss

> Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

>

>

>

> Feelings...Can be a lot!!!

>

> One of the quotes I have on my computer stand at work is, " No problem lasts

forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of my life it may see,

whatever I am experiencing in this ever changing life is sure to pass. Even

_______________________. "

>

> I wonder if you could do a predo with some of your emotions.

>

> I hope you will stay with the process. You deserve to feel your emotions with

others around - I have a hard time with this as well and I am really working to

stay tuned in rather and respond authentically to my husband and others with

whom it has become automatic to distance emotionally.

>

> Good luck and welcome.

>

> Livingston

>

> ________________________________

> From: mrsbree2004 <mrsbree2004@...<mailto:mrsbree2004%40yahoo.co.uk>>

> To:

insideoutweightloss <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com\

>

> Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 2:40 PM

> Subject: New, struggling with feelings

>

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

>

> I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again

and am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

>

> Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough today...during

the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects to being slim

and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying out that I

can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde I'm very

placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters and to a

certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband included) see

an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or anything other

than just normal.

>

> Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

>

> My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have

gained 5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I worry

that I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle

everything up, and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm aware

that I'm doing it but I don't know how to change.

>

> Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this message I

can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something to eat to

take it away...

>

> Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

>

>

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Posted
Posted

So many of us grew up with   " If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something

to cry about " ringing in our ears. It's hard to get down deep enough to soothe

that sad, scared child.

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thursday, March 8, 2012 4:34 AM

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

 

Thanks .

The odd thing is I am the worlds worst crier at anything on the telly! I'm the

one who cries at The Biggest Loser, the soaps, the charity things on the telly -

you name it, I cry. But something happens within my life and I just shut off -

my husband and I are going through a bad patch at the moment and I just shut off

completely. Sometimes I feel the tears there like they're ready to flow - just

now I typed out exactly what our problems are and felt the tears behind my eyes

so hit the delete key. I guess food is my real life delete key.

A therapist I used to see said she thought I saw that as a safe way to unleash

pent up emotions. I don't see it as that when I do cry, but it does make sense.

I don't remember being given food to soothe problems when I was younger, but I

do watch my mum with my own children now and any time they're upset she's always

rushing to 'ssshhh' them and tells them everyone's looking at them so they

shouldn't be crying. Maybe it was the same with me too? As a teenager I used

to write in my journal a lot and I think that was my outlet. I find it harder

to do now, the words don't seem to flow as easily as they used to.

Thank you for advising babysteps. It is naive of me to expect I'm suddenly

going to start feeling everything and be ok without my crutch of food. Maybe I

need a new crutch? Food soothes and comforts me, I need a new comforter.

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

> >

> > I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again

and am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

> >

> > Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough

today...during the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects

to being slim and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying

out that I can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde

I'm very placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters

and to a certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband

included) see an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or

anything other than just normal.

> >

> > Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

> >

> > My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have

gained 5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I

worry that I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle

everything up, and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm

aware that I'm doing it but I don't know how to change.

> >

> > Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this

message I can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something

to eat to take it away...

> >

> > Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

I hope it helped, typing it out and then deleting...

I would bet the therapist is on to something, even if you don't see it that way.

I wonder how you would feel if the next time you find yourself crying over The

Biggest Loser, you consciously allowed some of the tears to be for yourself? 

I've gone through patches were I felt like I needed a good cry, but the tears

wouldn't start. Best cure for this? Cut onions! LOL! Even if I didn't start

crying " for real " , it was as if some sort of release valve was allowing those

emotions to escape. And if part of your problem with showing emotion is that

voice from your childhood saying everyone is watching, well, no one has to know

that the tears aren't just from the fumes!

" It is naive of me to expect I'm suddenly going to start feeling everything and

be ok without my crutch of food. Maybe I need a new crutch? Food soothes and

comforts me, I need a new comforter. "

Maybe you don't need a new crutch--maybe you just need practice. Or maybe you

need some new tools. Sometimes being able to feel the emotion is enough to

release it. But sometimes you need something more--like using EFT to release the

feelings. Or learning how to sit with the emotion and *not* be OK. At least

temporarily. 

>________________________________

>

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Thursday, March 8, 2012 11:34 AM

>Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

>

>

> 

>Thanks .

>

>The odd thing is I am the worlds worst crier at anything on the telly! I'm the

one who cries at The Biggest Loser, the soaps, the charity things on the telly -

you name it, I cry. But something happens within my life and I just shut off -

my husband and I are going through a bad patch at the moment and I just shut off

completely. Sometimes I feel the tears there like they're ready to flow - just

now I typed out exactly what our problems are and felt the tears behind my eyes

so hit the delete key. I guess food is my real life delete key.

>

>A therapist I used to see said she thought I saw that as a safe way to unleash

pent up emotions. I don't see it as that when I do cry, but it does make sense.

>

>I don't remember being given food to soothe problems when I was younger, but I

do watch my mum with my own children now and any time they're upset she's always

rushing to 'ssshhh' them and tells them everyone's looking at them so they

shouldn't be crying. Maybe it was the same with me too? As a teenager I used

to write in my journal a lot and I think that was my outlet. I find it harder

to do now, the words don't seem to flow as easily as they used to.

>

>Thank you for advising babysteps. It is naive of me to expect I'm suddenly

going to start feeling everything and be ok without my crutch of food. Maybe I

need a new crutch? Food soothes and comforts me, I need a new comforter.

>

>

>>

>> 

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Posted
Posted

I'm sorry that you are changing from a career you love, Carlton - doesn't

teaching earn you about $60/hr? That's what are are charged here in

Toronto..

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Posted
Posted

Thank you, and ouch.

Mrsbree2004, as I read your words, I was eating almonds. Just one handful, but I

took them down here to the basement to snack on as I clean and get ready to

teach. As I read and identified with those feelings I wolfed down the small dish

full. I guess I am a comfort eater too. I have a tremendous number of stress

triggers right now, so it is a good time to work on this.

 

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thursday, March 8, 2012 3:34:27 AM

Subject: Re: New, struggling with feelings

 

Thanks .

The odd thing is I am the worlds worst crier at anything on the telly! I'm the

one who cries at The Biggest Loser, the soaps, the charity things on the telly -

you name it, I cry. But something happens within my life and I just shut off -

my husband and I are going through a bad patch at the moment and I just shut off

completely. Sometimes I feel the tears there like they're ready to flow - just

now I typed out exactly what our problems are and felt the tears behind my eyes

so hit the delete key. I guess food is my real life delete key.

A therapist I used to see said she thought I saw that as a safe way to unleash

pent up emotions. I don't see it as that when I do cry, but it does make sense.

I don't remember being given food to soothe problems when I was younger, but I

do watch my mum with my own children now and any time they're upset she's always

rushing to 'ssshhh' them and tells them everyone's looking at them so they

shouldn't be crying. Maybe it was the same with me too? As a teenager I used

to write in my journal a lot and I think that was my outlet. I find it harder

to do now, the words don't seem to flow as easily as they used to.

Thank you for advising babysteps. It is naive of me to expect I'm suddenly

going to start feeling everything and be ok without my crutch of food. Maybe I

need a new crutch? Food soothes and comforts me, I need a new comforter.

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I listened to 's podcasts a few months ago but decided recently to give

them another go and take heed of the 'you must put in to get out' sentence at

the end of the podcasts.

> >

> > I bought my notepad which is my success journal, and started listening again

and am actually doing the exercises and writing down anything else that I find

helpful.

> >

> > Through doing the exercises I think I made a small breakthrough

today...during the exercise where you have to find out what part of you objects

to being slim and I every clearly had an objective little version of me crying

out that I can't let people see what I'm really like! You see, on the outisde

I'm very placid. The only people who get to see the real me are my 2 daughters

and to a certain extent my best friend. The rest of the world (my husband

included) see an emotionless person, I don't publicly get upset, or happy, or

anything other than just normal.

> >

> > Whenever I feel any sort of sad emotion bubbling under the surface I rush to

food to stuff it down. I understand that no feeling lasts forever, but I really

don't like the feeling and at the moment the only way I know how to deal with it

is to eat to soothe the feelings. In the past I have also had boughts of self

harm

> >

> > My husband and I are going through some problems at the moment and I have

gained 5lbs in just over a week. I can't talk to people about it because I

worry that I'll get upset about things and I just 'don't do' upset. I bottle

everything up, and when it tries to get out I keep it quiet with food. I'm

aware that I'm doing it but I don't know how to change.

> >

> > Has anyone else had this and how do I deal with it? Even typing this

message I can feel the tears but I know I'm going to sign off and find something

to eat to take it away...

> >

> > Sorry for such a depressing first message :o(

> >

>

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