Re: Feeling down and out

[Guest guest]

Hi Ann,

 

First of all, can I say how amazing I think it is that you were willing to view

a setback as an opportunity for adventure. I mean, picking up and moving to

another country is a really cool way to deal with the situation. Much better

than sitting back and saying woe is me, life sucks.

 

Have you taken the time to appreciate that about yourself lately?

 

Secondly, I know how hard it can be to live in another country, far from family

and friends, even when it's a country that's fairly close to what you're used

to. But if you're also dealing with major cultural differences and language

issues, it's much, much harder. Do you have any kind of support network there?

If not, have you built an online support network?

 

Third, when I'm stuck in a situation I'm really not happy with, but I know it's

going to be the reality for a while, I try to come up with ways to appreciate

the good parts of what's there. If I asked you to write a travel piece about

Kuwait, but told you you could only write in a positive way, what could you tell

me? Something about the scent of the spices in the market? The quality of the

sun shining on the stone? Are there any flowers you've never seen elsewhere?

 

If you can use this third step to start feeling better about your current

experience, you might be able to get a few more of the pieces in place.

 

And finally--if you can tell the book has the right ideas but you're not making

the progress you want, try switching to the podcasts for a while. Go back to the

beginning, and listen in order. (I suggest not more than 3 new ones in a week,

to let the ideas soak in...) If nothing else, you'll get 20-30 minutes of

calm...

 

 

 

>________________________________

>

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Tuesday, April 3, 2012 5:55 AM

>Subject: Feeling down and out

>

>

>

> 

>

>I bought the book in January and trying to do each week justice and now only on

week 3. I started having issues with food when I got to college and gained 20

pounds the first three months. Ever since then I tried to restrict food but

ended up binging. It's just so hard and hard to explain to others and even

myself. I am trying right now not to beat myself up and so much and didn't

realize how much I did. I was doing pretty well and letting myself eat what I

wanted and try to get back to a healthy relationship with food but then I caught

a glimpse of myself in the mirror last night and it went down hill from there.

I am in a tough spot right now. Due to budget cuts I lost my teaching job last

year so I decided to make an adventure out of it and I took a job teaching in

Kuwait. I really hate it here but have to fulfill my two year contract in order

to go somewhere else. Food gives me the distraction and comfort to survive this

place it seems. As

summer nears I am am getting anxious about going back home to see friends being

heavier than I have ever been. But I also know I can't continue on like this

and need to learn to love myself. There is such a battle that goes on in my

head and I don't know how to make it stop or quite the noise. I feel my clothes

getting tighter and it's a daily reminder of how unhappy I am or a constant

reminder of how out of control I feel and when I feel my new rolls it leads into

more self beating up. I too also do self-sabatoge and have a hard time finding

what it is I am so scared of. I think too I get overwhelmed and just start to

shut down and feel numb and then it's hard to do the work. or I start over

thinking it and go off on another tangent. I am trying to follow the book and

do it and hoping i am doing it correctly and it works, but not sure I am? I also

joined this group a while ago and did not post and was a bit scared too, maybe

afraid to actually

hold myself accountable and fail at something in front of others. I am just

tired too, tired of thinking of it, tired of dealing with it and just makes me

feel down and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want to like myself, no,

LOVE myself a be happy with me.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Remember to breathe. I've had the book for a while and am just starting chapter

2. Wow! The very fist dig in that chapter has me reeling. I'm one of those

people who have nothing to complain about - except for my weight. It's my

crutch! It's the reason I'm lazy. The reason I don't have adventures. The

reason I'm okay with sitting at home watching TV. The reason I've not tried to

change careers. The reason I'm not all over my gorgeous husband 24/7. And, I'm

tired of being this way. It's time to change. It's time to love me. And, it's

time for you to love yourself, too.

You are amazing! To pick-up and move across the world and help people in the

process. Because no matter how hard it is for you, teaching and learning are

truly awesome gifts.

And, this is so easy to say but so much harder to hear, I know. But, you can do

this. You are worthy of love - your own and that of other people. When it gets

hard, when you start to reach for something to eat that you know you don't

really want, when you are trying to fill that void that you don't really

understand inside yourself...step back and remember that you are worthy of your

own love and respect. You are! And, the folks on this group are here for you.

It's a lot of thinking and it's hard and it's tiresome, but it's going to be

worth it. I know it! I feel it!

>

> Hi Ann,

>  

> First of all, can I say how amazing I think it is that you were willing to

view a setback as an opportunity for adventure. I mean, picking up and moving to

another country is a really cool way to deal with the situation. Much better

than sitting back and saying woe is me, life sucks.

>  

> Have you taken the time to appreciate that about yourself lately?

>  

> Secondly, I know how hard it can be to live in another country, far from

family and friends, even when it's a country that's fairly close to what you're

used to. But if you're also dealing with major cultural differences and language

issues, it's much, much harder. Do you have any kind of support network there?

If not, have you built an online support network?

>  

> Third, when I'm stuck in a situation I'm really not happy with, but I know

it's going to be the reality for a while, I try to come up with ways to

appreciate the good parts of what's there. If I asked you to write a travel

piece about Kuwait, but told you you could only write in a positive way, what

could you tell me? Something about the scent of the spices in the market? The

quality of the sun shining on the stone? Are there any flowers you've never seen

elsewhere?

>  

> If you can use this third step to start feeling better about your current

experience, you might be able to get a few more of the pieces in place.

>  

> And finally--if you can tell the book has the right ideas but you're not

making the progress you want, try switching to the podcasts for a while. Go back

to the beginning, and listen in order. (I suggest not more than 3 new ones in a

week, to let the ideas soak in...) If nothing else, you'll get 20-30 minutes of

calm...

>  

>

>  

>

>  

>

> >________________________________

> >

> >To: insideoutweightloss

> >Sent: Tuesday, April 3, 2012 5:55 AM

> >Subject: Feeling down and out

> >

> >

> >

> > 

> >

> >I bought the book in January and trying to do each week justice and now only

on week 3. I started having issues with food when I got to college and gained

20 pounds the first three months. Ever since then I tried to restrict food but

ended up binging. It's just so hard and hard to explain to others and even

myself. I am trying right now not to beat myself up and so much and didn't

realize how much I did. I was doing pretty well and letting myself eat what I

wanted and try to get back to a healthy relationship with food but then I caught

a glimpse of myself in the mirror last night and it went down hill from there.

I am in a tough spot right now. Due to budget cuts I lost my teaching job last

year so I decided to make an adventure out of it and I took a job teaching in

Kuwait. I really hate it here but have to fulfill my two year contract in order

to go somewhere else. Food gives me the distraction and comfort to survive this

place it seems. As

> summer nears I am am getting anxious about going back home to see friends

being heavier than I have ever been. But I also know I can't continue on like

this and need to learn to love myself. There is such a battle that goes on in

my head and I don't know how to make it stop or quite the noise. I feel my

clothes getting tighter and it's a daily reminder of how unhappy I am or a

constant reminder of how out of control I feel and when I feel my new rolls it

leads into more self beating up. I too also do self-sabatoge and have a hard

time finding what it is I am so scared of. I think too I get overwhelmed and

just start to shut down and feel numb and then it's hard to do the work. or I

start over thinking it and go off on another tangent. I am trying to follow the

book and do it and hoping i am doing it correctly and it works, but not sure I

am? I also joined this group a while ago and did not post and was a bit scared

too, maybe afraid to actually

> hold myself accountable and fail at something in front of others. I am just

tired too, tired of thinking of it, tired of dealing with it and just makes me

feel down and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want to like myself, no,

LOVE myself a be happy with me.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Ann -

Keep reading the book. Keep doing the exercises.

You've already uncovered your positive intents of overeating - distraction &

comfort. Now you'll need to find other ways to distract and comfort yourself,

rather than food. Practice these daily renewals until you find the balance

within you, and you will break the restriction / binging cycle.

Practice EFT to quiet the battle in your head.

There is no prescribed right or wrong way to go through the book. Find the way

that is right for you, and that will be the right way.

Thanks for joining the group. Glad you're here.

b.

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Mon, April 2, 2012 9:55:52 PM

Subject: Feeling down and out

 

I bought the book in January and trying to do each week justice and now only on

week 3. I started having issues with food when I got to college and gained 20

pounds the first three months. Ever since then I tried to restrict food but

ended up binging. It's just so hard and hard to explain to others and even

myself. I am trying right now not to beat myself up and so much and didn't

realize how much I did. I was doing pretty well and letting myself eat what I

wanted and try to get back to a healthy relationship with food but then I caught

a glimpse of myself in the mirror last night and it went down hill from there. I

am in a tough spot right now. Due to budget cuts I lost my teaching job last

year so I decided to make an adventure out of it and I took a job teaching in

Kuwait. I really hate it here but have to fulfill my two year contract in order

to go somewhere else. Food gives me the distraction and comfort to survive this

place it seems. As summer nears I am am getting anxious about going back home to

see friends being heavier than I have ever been. But I also know I can't

continue on like this and need to learn to love myself. There is such a battle

that goes on in my head and I don't know how to make it stop or quite the noise.

I feel my clothes getting tighter and it's a daily reminder of how unhappy I am

or a constant reminder of how out of control I feel and when I feel my new rolls

it leads into more self beating up. I too also do self-sabatoge and have a hard

time finding what it is I am so scared of. I think too I get overwhelmed and

just start to shut down and feel numb and then it's hard to do the work. or I

start over thinking it and go off on another tangent. I am trying to follow the

book and do it and hoping i am doing it correctly and it works, but not sure I

am? I also joined this group a while ago and did not post and was a bit scared

too, maybe afraid to actually hold myself accountable and fail at something in

front of others. I am just tired too, tired of thinking of it, tired of dealing

with it and just makes me feel down and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I

want to like myself, no, LOVE myself a be happy with me.

[Guest guest]

What can you replace eating with? If you don't like it where you are, but have

to stay for 2  years what things can you do to replace what food is giving to

you? I think you're brave for taking on such an adventure. I know I wouldn't

have the guts to do it!

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Monday, April 2, 2012 9:55 PM

Subject: Feeling down and out

 

I bought the book in January and trying to do each week justice and now only on

week 3. I started having issues with food when I got to college and gained 20

pounds the first three months. Ever since then I tried to restrict food but

ended up binging. It's just so hard and hard to explain to others and even

myself. I am trying right now not to beat myself up and so much and didn't

realize how much I did. I was doing pretty well and letting myself eat what I

wanted and try to get back to a healthy relationship with food but then I caught

a glimpse of myself in the mirror last night and it went down hill from there.

I am in a tough spot right now. Due to budget cuts I lost my teaching job last

year so I decided to make an adventure out of it and I took a job teaching in

Kuwait. I really hate it here but have to fulfill my two year contract in order

to go somewhere else. Food gives me the distraction and comfort to survive this

place it seems. As

summer nears I am am getting anxious about going back home to see friends being

heavier than I have ever been. But I also know I can't continue on like this

and need to learn to love myself. There is such a battle that goes on in my

head and I don't know how to make it stop or quite the noise. I feel my clothes

getting tighter and it's a daily reminder of how unhappy I am or a constant

reminder of how out of control I feel and when I feel my new rolls it leads into

more self beating up. I too also do self-sabatoge and have a hard time finding

what it is I am so scared of. I think too I get overwhelmed and just start to

shut down and feel numb and then it's hard to do the work. or I start over

thinking it and go off on another tangent. I am trying to follow the book and

do it and hoping i am doing it correctly and it works, but not sure I am? I also

joined this group a while ago and did not post and was a bit scared too, maybe

afraid to actually

hold myself accountable and fail at something in front of others. I am just

tired too, tired of thinking of it, tired of dealing with it and just makes me

feel down and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want to like myself, no,

LOVE myself a be happy with me.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing your story and for joining the Yahoo group. I really

feel for you......being in a slump and feeling aweful about yourself is

not a pleasant place to be for sure. I too have been there a few times

in my life. It is like being an addict and it seems like we need to

reach a bottom (self loathing, depression, feeling in a victim mode,

feeling powerless....etc) until we feel so disgusted with ourselves that

the pain of changing seems less than the pain of continuing on our self

destructive path. What has worked for me is I wake up one morning

feeling so disgusted with myself and say " that's it " and start changing

little things..........one thing that helps me become more mindful of

what I put into my mouth is to start writing down everything I eat and

start looking at that.....I have even added the calories as a wake-up

call.....when I am in such a bad slump, i need something tangible to

do...like writing the food down....it is amazing how that awareness can

do to get us started..............or a small goal to start walking a bit

every day....etc. Every little bit gives you power back ......the

trick is to start ..........Hope this is helpful ....let us know.

>

> What can you replace eating with? If you don't like it where you are,

but have to stay for 2Â years what things can you do to replace what

food is giving to you? I think you're brave for taking on such an

adventure. I know I wouldn't have the guts to do it!

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: Ann maryannwilliams922@...

> To: insideoutweightloss

> Sent: Monday, April 2, 2012 9:55 PM

> Subject: Feeling down and out

>

>

> Â

> I bought the book in January and trying to do each week justice and

now only on week 3. I started having issues with food when I got to

college and gained 20 pounds the first three months. Ever since then I

tried to restrict food but ended up binging. It's just so hard and hard

to explain to others and even myself. I am trying right now not to beat

myself up and so much and didn't realize how much I did. I was doing

pretty well and letting myself eat what I wanted and try to get back to

a healthy relationship with food but then I caught a glimpse of myself

in the mirror last night and it went down hill from there. I am in a

tough spot right now. Due to budget cuts I lost my teaching job last

year so I decided to make an adventure out of it and I took a job

teaching in Kuwait. I really hate it here but have to fulfill my two

year contract in order to go somewhere else. Food gives me the

distraction and comfort to survive this place it seems. As

> summer nears I am am getting anxious about going back home to see

friends being heavier than I have ever been. But I also know I can't

continue on like this and need to learn to love myself. There is such a

battle that goes on in my head and I don't know how to make it stop or

quite the noise. I feel my clothes getting tighter and it's a daily

reminder of how unhappy I am or a constant reminder of how out of

control I feel and when I feel my new rolls it leads into more self

beating up. I too also do self-sabatoge and have a hard time finding

what it is I am so scared of. I think too I get overwhelmed and just

start to shut down and feel numb and then it's hard to do the work. or

I start over thinking it and go off on another tangent. I am trying to

follow the book and do it and hoping i am doing it correctly and it

works, but not sure I am? I also joined this group a while ago and did

not post and was a bit scared too, maybe afraid to actually

> hold myself accountable and fail at something in front of others. I

am just tired too, tired of thinking of it, tired of dealing with it and

just makes me feel down and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I

want to like myself, no, LOVE myself a be happy with me.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Ann,

Ditto to all the kudos people are sending your way for upping and moving to

Kuwait... wow! y'all got guts woman!

I may be completely off track (ignore this if it is), but it sounds like you

feel a bit stuck/trapped/lacking freedom at the moment. For how long have you

been in Kuwait? You say that you have to stick out another 2 years, but is there

another option? What would happen if you left? Could you get a job somewhere

else?

I'm not talking about running away or avoiding your feelings or giving in or

anything like that - just about re-evaluating your options and reassuring

yourself there is an option of freedom there. You need to take care of yourself

- where could you do that best? what circumstances do you need to do that and

how can you create those circumstances? Maybe you are trying to tell yourself

something about your current situation...

I only say this cos i was in a similar situation (but not in Kuwait!!) -

committed to doing something and being somewhere for a year but was still hating

it and myself after 3 months and truly felt i could not leave - it was really

quite scary.

I ended up leaving and it was the best thing i could have done. The next best

thing was realising that that was not giving up/failing, but succeeding in

giving myself the best chance to get better and grow stronger and closer to the

person i wanted to be - even in that situation. i just had no chance of doing it

there. (did not sort out eating problems, by the way but improved my life 100%

in every other way from those 3 months!)

Just reminding yourself that you have options can help.

Sending a hug ann! (weird cos i don't know you - but i remember how much i

wanted one! yay for projecting!)

> >

> > What can you replace eating with? If you don't like it where you are,

> but have to stay for 2Â years what things can you do to replace what

> food is giving to you? I think you're brave for taking on such an

> adventure. I know I wouldn't have the guts to do it!

> >

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: Ann maryannwilliams922@

> > To: insideoutweightloss

> > Sent: Monday, April 2, 2012 9:55 PM

> > Subject: Feeling down and out

> >

> >

> > Â

> > I bought the book in January and trying to do each week justice and

> now only on week 3. I started having issues with food when I got to

> college and gained 20 pounds the first three months. Ever since then I

> tried to restrict food but ended up binging. It's just so hard and hard

> to explain to others and even myself. I am trying right now not to beat

> myself up and so much and didn't realize how much I did. I was doing

> pretty well and letting myself eat what I wanted and try to get back to

> a healthy relationship with food but then I caught a glimpse of myself

> in the mirror last night and it went down hill from there. I am in a

> tough spot right now. Due to budget cuts I lost my teaching job last

> year so I decided to make an adventure out of it and I took a job

> teaching in Kuwait. I really hate it here but have to fulfill my two

> year contract in order to go somewhere else. Food gives me the

> distraction and comfort to survive this place it seems. As

> > summer nears I am am getting anxious about going back home to see

> friends being heavier than I have ever been. But I also know I can't

> continue on like this and need to learn to love myself. There is such a

> battle that goes on in my head and I don't know how to make it stop or

> quite the noise. I feel my clothes getting tighter and it's a daily

> reminder of how unhappy I am or a constant reminder of how out of

> control I feel and when I feel my new rolls it leads into more self

> beating up. I too also do self-sabatoge and have a hard time finding

> what it is I am so scared of. I think too I get overwhelmed and just

> start to shut down and feel numb and then it's hard to do the work. or

> I start over thinking it and go off on another tangent. I am trying to

> follow the book and do it and hoping i am doing it correctly and it

> works, but not sure I am? I also joined this group a while ago and did

> not post and was a bit scared too, maybe afraid to actually

> > hold myself accountable and fail at something in front of others. I

> am just tired too, tired of thinking of it, tired of dealing with it and

> just makes me feel down and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I

> want to like myself, no, LOVE myself a be happy with me.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >