Guest guest Posted February 14, 2012 Report Share Posted February 14, 2012 It sounds like you're making great progress. Don't despair, you're doing fantastic and all of this information and insight you are gleaning is going to help you as you work through the book. I can relate completely to feeling inadequate. I also identify with the fraud. I've been trying to live up to my mother's standards for a long time and they became my own. When I realized I couldn't live up to them, I quit trying completely and went the other direction, sabotaging a number of potential successes. Now I'm starting in a new career and every day I feel like a total fraud. I am terrified of screwing up, of everyone realizing that I'm just not that smart. Luckily, everyone I know is telling me that isn't true. And I must be fairly competent or people wouldn't spend money to hire me, right? You can do this. :::hugs::: > ** > > > Hi everyone, > > This is my first time posting. I've been reading what others write and > taking it all in. I don't even know where to start. I'm about to start > chapter 3 in the book. The last chapter I concluded that I have quite a few > positive intents for bingeing, some of them being comfort, a place to > relax, a break from the high bar and the pressure. I identified with the > perfectionist, the overachieving multitasker and the fraud. I set really > high bars for myself. I'm working on my second degree, about to finish up > this May. I exercise a lot. When I'm eating healthy, it has to be perfect > because I'm scared that the sugar or high fat items will trigger me and > I'll lose control. I have self esteem issues. I often don't feel good > enough and fight feelings of inadequacy. > > This isn't my first time that I've tried to work on my food issues. It's > the third actually. The last time was about 9 months of intensive therapy, > where I had a lot of break throughs, but since ending a few months back, I > sort of feel like I'm back where I started. And I just feel so frustrated > and mad at myself and like a failure and not sure where to turn next. > > > > > -- Amelia Ramstead http://www.linkedin.com/pub/amelia-ramstead/2b/25b/601 http://www.ameeramstead.com http://ameliaramstead.blogspot.com www.twitter.com/ameliaramstead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2012 Report Share Posted February 14, 2012 3rd time is a charm - Welcome! ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Tuesday, February 14, 2012 6:41 AM Subject: Feeling outdone  Hi everyone, This is my first time posting. I've been reading what others write and taking it all in. I don't even know where to start. I'm about to start chapter 3 in the book. The last chapter I concluded that I have quite a few positive intents for bingeing, some of them being comfort, a place to relax, a break from the high bar and the pressure. I identified with the perfectionist, the overachieving multitasker and the fraud. I set really high bars for myself. I'm working on my second degree, about to finish up this May. I exercise a lot. When I'm eating healthy, it has to be perfect because I'm scared that the sugar or high fat items will trigger me and I'll lose control. I have self esteem issues. I often don't feel good enough and fight feelings of inadequacy. This isn't my first time that I've tried to work on my food issues. It's the third actually. The last time was about 9 months of intensive therapy, where I had a lot of break throughs, but since ending a few months back, I sort of feel like I'm back where I started. And I just feel so frustrated and mad at myself and like a failure and not sure where to turn next. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2012 Report Share Posted February 14, 2012 Hi , I completely relate to the identification of being perfectionist, fraud and multitasker. I've finished the book and it was somewhere around chapter three that things began to fall in place for me. I think everyone is different. My one big issue left (that I know of) is that it all seems too easy... it's working! I've failed so many times, been through therapy and read everything Geneen Roth ever wrote, and still didn't work. But now, for whatever reason, it's working... It's like I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. It can't seriously be working... surely I'll fail soon again... And I'm working on that issue - finding that it's part of my fear of failure, that no one will love me if I fail at anything. Which, when I start asking myself things like " Gee, Sian, would you stop loving your sister if she " failed " another diet? I don't think so! " and " What's this word " fail " you are so scared of? You love learning! So making mistakes is ways of learning! See how much you know about nutrition now and what doesn't work! You go grrl! " Well, that's my peptalk at any rate, lol. It helps, but it's a process. I guess my point is that I " m hearing in your words that you are afraid of failing. I'd test that objection and see if you can turn it around. Chapter 3-6 will help you with that. Know that you are not alone and we are all cheering you on, Sian On Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 1:45 PM, Amelia Ramstead wrote: > ** > > > It sounds like you're making great progress. Don't despair, you're doing > fantastic and all of this information and insight you are gleaning is going > to help you as you work through the book. I can relate completely to > feeling inadequate. I also identify with the fraud. I've been trying to > live up to my mother's standards for a long time and they became my own. > When I realized I couldn't live up to them, I quit trying completely and > went the other direction, sabotaging a number of potential successes. Now > I'm starting in a new career and every day I feel like a total fraud. I am > terrified of screwing up, of everyone realizing that I'm just not that > smart. > > Luckily, everyone I know is telling me that isn't true. And I must be > fairly competent or people wouldn't spend money to hire me, right? > > You can do this. :::hugs::: > > > > > ** > > > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > This is my first time posting. I've been reading what others write and > > taking it all in. I don't even know where to start. I'm about to start > > chapter 3 in the book. The last chapter I concluded that I have quite a > few > > positive intents for bingeing, some of them being comfort, a place to > > relax, a break from the high bar and the pressure. I identified with the > > perfectionist, the overachieving multitasker and the fraud. I set really > > high bars for myself. I'm working on my second degree, about to finish up > > this May. I exercise a lot. When I'm eating healthy, it has to be perfect > > because I'm scared that the sugar or high fat items will trigger me and > > I'll lose control. I have self esteem issues. I often don't feel good > > enough and fight feelings of inadequacy. > > > > This isn't my first time that I've tried to work on my food issues. It's > > the third actually. The last time was about 9 months of intensive > therapy, > > where I had a lot of break throughs, but since ending a few months back, > I > > sort of feel like I'm back where I started. And I just feel so frustrated > > and mad at myself and like a failure and not sure where to turn next. > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > Amelia Ramstead > http://www.linkedin.com/pub/amelia-ramstead/2b/25b/601 > http://www.ameeramstead.com > http://ameliaramstead.blogspot.com > www.twitter.com/ameliaramstead > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2012 Report Share Posted February 14, 2012 Welcome to the group - I'd say you took the right turn by turning up here! b. ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Tue, February 14, 2012 8:41:22 AM Subject: Feeling outdone  Hi everyone, This is my first time posting. I've been reading what others write and taking it all in. I don't even know where to start. I'm about to start chapter 3 in the book. The last chapter I concluded that I have quite a few positive intents for bingeing, some of them being comfort, a place to relax, a break from the high bar and the pressure. I identified with the perfectionist, the overachieving multitasker and the fraud. I set really high bars for myself. I'm working on my second degree, about to finish up this May. I exercise a lot. When I'm eating healthy, it has to be perfect because I'm scared that the sugar or high fat items will trigger me and I'll lose control. I have self esteem issues. I often don't feel good enough and fight feelings of inadequacy. This isn't my first time that I've tried to work on my food issues. It's the third actually. The last time was about 9 months of intensive therapy, where I had a lot of break throughs, but since ending a few months back, I sort of feel like I'm back where I started. And I just feel so frustrated and mad at myself and like a failure and not sure where to turn next. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2012 Report Share Posted February 15, 2012 Thank y'all for your words of encouragement. It helped so much just to have someone listen to me and understand. I try to talk to my family but they don't really see it as a " real " problem or don't want to see it so it feels like they trivialize it and then I don't want to talk anymore. Amelia, I understand about the feeling like a fraud with work. I am also starting a new career. I'm in my last semester of environmental engineering and since I've been back in school I have this fear that someone is going to figure out that I really don't belong here. Surely I am not smart enough to do engineering. I have fraud and " not good enough " issues with other parts of my life, but it surely seemed to manifest there. Sian, I just read chapter 3 and it seemed to be exactly what I needed to help push me further in the forward direction. I was feeling very much like " how is this going to really work. Nothing else has seemed to stick for long. " I was feeling totally outdone and frustrated with myself. But in chapter 3 she talks about how you should be aware of your changing behaviors and that you could really be showing great progress incrementally. And I think I've definitely made progress over the past year that I've really been working on this. I'm way more aware of the problem than I used to be. But yes, definitely a fear a failure. It paralyzes me sometimes. So I'll keep that in mind when I'm doing my journalling . > > > > > ** > > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > > > This is my first time posting. I've been reading what others write and > > > taking it all in. I don't even know where to start. I'm about to start > > > chapter 3 in the book. The last chapter I concluded that I have quite a > > few > > > positive intents for bingeing, some of them being comfort, a place to > > > relax, a break from the high bar and the pressure. I identified with the > > > perfectionist, the overachieving multitasker and the fraud. I set really > > > high bars for myself. I'm working on my second degree, about to finish up > > > this May. I exercise a lot. When I'm eating healthy, it has to be perfect > > > because I'm scared that the sugar or high fat items will trigger me and > > > I'll lose control. I have self esteem issues. I often don't feel good > > > enough and fight feelings of inadequacy. > > > > > > This isn't my first time that I've tried to work on my food issues. It's > > > the third actually. The last time was about 9 months of intensive > > therapy, > > > where I had a lot of break throughs, but since ending a few months back, > > I > > > sort of feel like I'm back where I started. And I just feel so frustrated > > > and mad at myself and like a failure and not sure where to turn next. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > Amelia Ramstead > > http://www.linkedin.com/pub/amelia-ramstead/2b/25b/601 > > http://www.ameeramstead.com > > http://ameliaramstead.blogspot.com > > www.twitter.com/ameliaramstead > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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