Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - Cold Fish

May 3, 2005

Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - " Cold Fish "

Did ever meet anyone who had the personality of a cold fish? Well, it's no

surprise some folks turn out that way, and I'll explain what I mean.

Why is it that some people are so hard to get to know, so hard to like,

while others make friends easily and are a lot of fun to be around? Well,

psychologists and other human behavior experts tell us that although some

things are determined before we're born, most of who we are is learned. A

great deal of it is learned very early - in the first few years of life.

If we have responsive, loving parents or caretakers, if we get lots of

positive attention and physical cuddling, if someone comes quickly when we

cry and let's us know they will care for us and be there for us - we learn

that the world is a friendly place where we can get our needs met. We learn

that we are valuable, worthwhile people. In other words, we learn to trust.

What happens if we don't get these things? We learn not to expect much. We

learn not to trust. We come to believe we are of little value and we act

accordingly. Very often, we protect ourselves from the pain of these things

by turning into " cold fish. "

So, parents, if you want to do all you can to see your kids grow into

secure, confident, loving adults, give them lots of love and affection while

they are little - and let them know that they don't have to do anything

special to get it.

Lou Tice

The Pacific Institute

" TPI teaches people how to manage change, set and achieve goals, lead more

effectively, and think in ways that create success. "

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Blessings,

Charlene

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