Guest guest Posted June 6, 2003 Report Share Posted June 6, 2003 Oh my! I love questions like these! WOW! Hello -dids! I just found this site and am working hard to catch up on the thought-0-the day. .. Here is my question... What if life happens when you aren't looking? I'd say that if life happens when you are not looking, the universe is operating just fine, as it should. Life happens, observed or not. I'm glad things don't die when I look away! What does the work do about that? Nothing. The work has no control over when and how life happens. You might experience life's happening differently, though. I couldn't tell you how. The only way to find out is by doing the work. Maybe you could start by doing inquiry on the statement " It's a bad thing if life happens while I'm not looking. " What do you do with stuff that gets dumped on your doorstep? I pick it up, assess whether it's worth keeping or not, then put it away or in the bin. If necessary, I might sweep the doorstep. I gather you aren't talking about actual doorsteps though, so can you give an example? Hmm. Actually, I prolly wasn't completely honest there. More likely I go " Oh look, crap on my doorstep. Hmmm I'll keep quiet and hope that Greg cleans it up. " I see I have uninvestigated stories about cleaning! Is it counterproductive to mate at all-afterall to mate generally means taking resposibility for another's expectations...at least thats what they told us in Home Ec... Eeep! Wow, I'm glad I wasn't in that home ec class! LOL. I don't know the answer to that question because I don't know what " productive " means. What are you hoping to produce? From my own experience, mating is NOT counterproductive wrt production of offspring. Other than that, who knows? My personal experience is that being married (and a parent) has been one of the most useful tools for realizing that my happiness doesn't depend on the actions and attitudes of other people. Whadayathink? I think I ought to stop faffing about on the computer and go get ready for my cousin's engagement party. I think D'OH! I forgot that I was going out for dinner and made a huge crockpot curry. I think my teeth taste funny. Good to meet you sheiix! Love PT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2003 Report Share Posted June 7, 2003 Dear Sheiix, Welcome to the LWI group. Glad you found it! I will take a shot at answering your questions. You said: " What if life happens when you aren't looking? What does the work do about that? " If I was feeling less than peacful about the appearance of " life happening when I am not looking, or that Life should not happen when I am not looking " , then The Work would be used to investigate and attempt to discover the truth in that story. You have a story that " life happens " and The work would ask if that were true? Having done The Work on that one, I can tell you that what I found was that I had no proof that " Life Happens " . All I know is that " Thoughts appear " and if I believe them, then " A story appears to happen " . You asked: " What do you do with stuff that gets dumped on your doorstep? " If that concept was stressful, then The Work would be used to investigate with the 4 questions and a turn around in order to find the truth about the story or concept that " anything could be dumped on my doorstep " or " that the stuff I think is on my doorstep is really real? " or that " I really have a doorstep at all? " You asked: " Is it counterproductive to mate at all-afterall to mate generally means taking resposibility for another's expectations...at least that is what they told us in Home Ec... " Again, If that concept was stressful, then The Work would be used to investigate with the 4 questions and a turn around in order to find the truth about the story or concept that " it could be counterproductive to mate at all? " oor that " to mate generally means taking resposibility for another's expectations " . I can tell you that my experience is that this last one of " taking resposibility for another's expectations " is " hopeless " . If one attempts to do that, they will lose, but only 100% of the time. We can never really know what another's expectation are, so we can never live up to this unknown concept. We could only, at best have our own perception of another's expectation. We can only hope to understand what our own expectations are and investigate them and see if they are really true or not. I hope this may help. Love, Steve D. > Hello -dids! I just found this site and am working hard to catch up on the > thought-0-the day. .. > Here is my question... > > What if life happens when you aren't looking? What does the work do about > that? What do you do with stuff that gets dumped on your doorstep? Is it > counterproductive to mate at all-afterall to mate generally means taking > resposibility for another's expectations...at least thats what they told us in > Home Ec... > Whadayathink? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2003 Report Share Posted June 7, 2003 Dear " Sheiix, " Welcome! You wrote, >>What if life happens when you aren't looking?<< Yeah...that's what life does! " Shit happens, " and people do what they do. That is precisely why The Work is so useful...because we don't respond to Life per se, we respond to our thoughts about it. How are you doing over here when that's happening over there? Are you at war with reality or at peace with what is? What's your thought about the life that's happening, and how do you live when you attach to that belief? Do you know about 's " theory " of " the 3 kinds of business? " (Yours, mine, God's -- it is stressful to be out of our own business.) It's most helpful in regard to others' expectations. Our mate is going to expect what s/he expects. Whose business is his or her expectation? Is there a specific relationship issue you'd like to explore using The Work? We're here to help! Love, Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2003 Report Share Posted June 7, 2003 > >>What if life happens when you aren't looking?<< Hi Sheiix, If life is happening when I'm not looking/paying attention, then I think I've been spared! Reality can always shows me what I need. I obviously don't need to know the stuff that I'm not seeing...and if I did need to know that stuff, I'd be seeing it/paying attention to it! : ) Loveness and welcome, *mona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2003 Report Share Posted June 13, 2003 Hey Barbara... It seems like Geri and I had the same thoughts simultaneously about your situation. (I get messages by digest, so I wrote my response before I scrolled down further and saw Geri's.) Yes, it's definitely time to take a break and look into respite services for your mother. Taking care of yourself by checking in with a doctor is a good idea too. It's very difficult to know if you really have a clinical depression brewing or are just stress-out, without a face-to-face conversation (which should be had with your physician). Either way, Geri, others here on LBDcargivers, and I are concerned about your well-being. The concern is that you've been placed in this very stressful caregiver role for a long time now (a pretty tough situation by anyone's standards) and you've also told us about some classic red- flag warning signs that could indicate the possibility of a depression brewing. That doesn't mean taht that's necessarily what it is, and it could be that you just need a break. The point is, don't sit around stressing about if you're depressed or not. Just like if you suspect a stress-fracture in your foot, you'd go to see your doctor to know if it's something that needs to be address with treatment or not. -Russ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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