RE: Comparisons and happiness

[Guest guest]

Randi [RandiBPD@...] wrote:

> The first thing I would suggest is not comparing

> yourself to other people.

This is so true! I don't know where I first heard or read

this (probably several times before it really sunk in) but

this advice has been very helpful to me.

Each person on this planet has a different situation -- we

each have different parents, genes, talents, weaknesses,

environments, etc. With all these differences, why on earth

would it make sense to compare two people and how far they

have progressed in different aspects of life?

On the other hand, it also does not help to compare yourself

with some " ideal " person. That can be another trap where you

compare your life with some fantasy, not realizing that every

life has difficulties of some kind.

What helps me to is be realistic while still trying to remain

accountable to myself. I try to see where I have improved yet

not ignore where I still need to improve. I try to accept that

where I am today is *exactly where I need to be* for now, while

trying to continue to move forward and learn new skills. It's

a balancing act. Saying these things out loud and writing in

my journal helps me to internalize them and really believe

in them.

> I realized how lucky I was when money and jobs was our

> only problem. It kept changing... the more I lost the more

> I really appreciated

Here's another statement that really hits home. Life can be

wonderful, even joyous, but no one is 100% happy or 100% sad.

Life is always a mixture of the two. The more I learn to

appreciate the things I do have in life, instead of wishing

for the things I don't have (and perhaps can never have!),

the happier I am. I know I did not fully appreciate my good

health, for example, until I lost it. Now I'm so happy on any

" good " days when symptoms are minimal. On the bad days I try

to remember that I'll have another good day before too long.

Here's a little story that helps me. A great king sent a message

out to all his people. He promised a great reward to anyone who

could give him a gift that would prevent him from feeling too

arrogant when things were going very well and yet would also

prevent him from feeling despondent during hard times. A very

wise man presented the king with a ring inscribed with a single,

simple phrase:

" This too shall pass "

Hugs,

Marjorie in Oregon

ahimsa@...