answer to Ron

[Guest guest]

* Hi Ron:

* Some days have passed since you posted this. I am in two minds

about giving you an answer not only because of the elapsed time, but

also because I fear our conversation has become too personal and off-

topic, no?

* Very brief comments, then.

>

> Hmmm. Again, I speak directly. I listened to what you had to say

in

> multiple posts then made an assessment and stated that assessment

clearly.

> It appears as though that is not the way things are done in your

culture --

> circumspection is more the mode of operation until friendship is

> established, eh?

* I would say respect and tactfulness rather than circumspection.

> Given all of that, yes I find your hesitancy to enjoy your passions

(fear of

> Epicureanism, a tendency to non-attachment) a less than desirable

trait.

* There is hardly anything in my current life that I don t enjoy. And

though I am 53, I am still making plans for the future.

> Now I must acknowledge again that I have never met you and know

nothing

> about you other than what you have told me. Perhaps you live and

love fully

> and are just waxing philosophical here on our list.

* Maybe. That is like me. Actually I am more interested in poetry

than in philosophy. But I will try to speak less here so that I wont

sound ...oh.. the boring know-all. As Deanna rightly observed, there

is also much playfulness in the things I say. I am far from being a

Scrooge, you know. But often my funny side is hard to see.

> I guess I've delivered a couple of missiles in this post. LOL. I

hope you

> understand that I mean no offense. This is what passes for

passionate

> discourse here in my world.

* I am not offended. I just felt a little uncomfortable with the idea

that you were looking through me and feeling so confident of your

analysis. But it is alright now. I see you are a honest person and

mean no harm.

>

> José, you are a man that I would like to meet. You are clearly

> sophisticated and experienced and know what you like and do not

like. Your

> intelligence and willingness to engage in interesting, if sometimes

> difficult, conversation makes me like you. I hope that the fact

that I

> choose to talk to you at all makes it clear that I think you have

something

> interesting to say. I feel the same thing in return.

>

* Now you are flattering me? No you arent. Thanks anyway for your

assessment. Oh you wouldnt like to meet me in flesh and bone. I make

too many questions and speak English with a funny accent. I am

probably quite different from the mental picture you are making of

me. You will be disappointed. But maybe we can talk some day on the

phone... Voices matter a lot to me. They tell a lot, as much as

faces, maybe.

>

> Perhaps I mis-understood you. If so, accept my apologies.

>

> That you are older than me is meaningless in my world. There are

things

> that you know and have seen that I couldn't begin to assess or speak

> intelligently about. But in those areas in which I have some or

much

> experience I find age, seniority, class or sex to be irrelevant and

they are

> things which I do not consider when I make my comments. We talk as

equals

> and defer to greater knowledge, not artificial distinctions such as

age in

> my book.

>

* Of course I agree. But at the same time I see age as a very

distinctive mark of any person. Age doesnt necessarily confer wisdom,

but in front of an old person I tend to listen rather than to talk.

That is it.

* Ron, I think I will try to go bread-free for a while. This is not

so difficult. I will tell you about it later.

> Take care,

>

> Ron

My best wishes to you,

José