, Carol and All

[Guest guest]

Hi , Carol and All:

I agree with both of you that Nada was unable to " bring me down " --

not as low as she WANTED to!

BUT -- I WAS brought down a few years ago -- Here I was in my late

30's and I was assaulted. That was too much for me to bear. All the

shame, and humiliation of the past came crashing in -- and I just

didn't have the resources to cope. I think I had a nervous breakdown!

And the HORRIBLE example nada had set for me for 18 years -- The

Waif!! I think that did me in the most!

Not to mention that after the assault -- nada hit me with her verbal

abuse, chastising every member of the family and putting on her Witch

routine! I had it with her too and didn't speak to her for a year!

Then I made the " boundary " thing -- and have stuck with it -- and am

back to not speaking again.

I've got to say that I DO sort of hate nada. I admit I have some

pretty hateful feelings about her. The Witch thing really does it

for me -- I can't help hating someone who ruined my self esteem all

those years, and now is trying to ruin my SON'S as well.

I have the opposite of love for her -- and I guess I call it hate!

I am angry that she doesn't love -- and her lack of love is what?

It's abuse -- and I feel like she hates me.

I can't help it!

Oh, well -- I just wanted to tell you that I plugged along and

didn't " let " her bring me down for many, many years - but in reality

I was like a rock being hit by the ocean waves -- and I DID manage to

get MUCH self esteem worn away! I am trying to build the " rock " back

up a layer at a time! AND -- I DON'T WANT ANY MORE OCEAN WAVES

WEARING ME BACK DOWN!

No more guilt either!!

Hmmm... thanks for listening.

Barb

> > I just want her to leave me alone and I don't want

> > to have to deal with her and her b.s again. I don't

> > want guilt from the rest of the freaking world either!!

> > I suppose all of that is too much to ask.

> Nope! It's not too much to ask! In time, your wish will come

true!

> You'll see. Just be very very patient with yourself, okay?

>

> > I too broke the cycle, the problem is my girls were around her and

> > she had too much influence over them. I hope they are or at least

> > will some day see the difference.

> They will, because they have " normalcy " to compare to. We KOs only

had

> " abnormalcy " as a point of reference.

>

> > I'd rather live in a cardboard box than take a dime from that

woman.

> Amen!

>

> > I was NOT going to be anything like her with my girls. I

remember

> > hearing the hateful thing say to me one day. " Oh you think

telling

> > your kids you love them everyday is some big deal and will solve

all

> > your problems, well it won't do a thing " I said: I tell my kids

I

> > love them everyday because I do, I don't expect my words to solve

> > anything, I want them to know I love them "

> Nadas are so cruel! And such wisdom it took, Kere, to see through

it

> and make such a big difference in your own children's lives!

> Celebrations!

>

> > Ah that brainwashing is a hard one to get rid of isn't it? I have

> > to ward off ugly words about myself everyday.

> Yup! Nada taught us that she has the right to sit on our shoulders

and

> chatter crap in our ears all day long. Now that we're wearing our

> See-Through Nada Goggles, it gets easier to flick her right off our

> shoulders. In time, and with patience, she'll never sit on our

> shoulders again!

>

> > I get so mad when I think of what I could have done or been if

> > given just half a chance instead of the worthless, stupid never

be

> > worth a damn remarks!!

> It's never too late to be all you can be! Today is the first day

of the

> rest of your glorious life! Focus on the wonderful vistas that lay

> ahead. And keep the faith!

>

> > The more I learn about these personality disorders, the more I

> > credit myself to have become who I am on my own because I had this

> > survival instinct within me.

> Absolutely!

>

> > The only credit those bastards get is

> > their abuse has made me strong (whether I want to be or not)! LOL

> That's right! You're a wonderful person, and always have been.

They

> weren't able to bring you down, and that's a testament to the

strength

> of your character and resolve. There's nothing wrong with YOU!!!

The

> problem is THEM THEM THEM!!!

>

> > Lord knows some days I just want to sit in the middle of the floor

> > and throw a fit!!! Of course if I did that, the people with the

> > white coats would haul me in. BUT not good ol noam....she throws

> > fits on a daily basis and people turn their heads and step around

> > her.

> Yes, it gets like that sometimes. But, you're not alone with this

> anymore. We're here to hold you up when the going gets tough.

>

> Smiles!

> Carol