Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - Types of Criticism

April 25, 2005

Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - 4/6/05 - " Types of Criticism "

How do you like being criticized? Does it make you feel like changing to

accommodate your critic?

Negative criticism is almost always a mistake. I don't know anyone who likes

it, do you? It brings you down, makes you feel angry and resentful, and it

hardly ever makes you want to change, does it?

Constructive feedback is a horse of a different color. There's no sting in

it, because it is not about your deficient character and it doesn't come at

you like an attack. It is designed to give you valuable information and it

assumes you care about doing well.

So what is the difference between constructive feedback and criticism? Well,

it's the difference between saying, " You never help around the house because

you're a slob and you just don't care, " and saying, " When you forget to help

with the housework, I feel overworked and taken for granted. "

Can you see the difference? The first statement attacks character and sounds

like it's coming from a victim. The second states the facts and shares

information about feelings without making the other person a villain. All

that it takes to become an expert in constructive feedback is practice and a

willingness to give up judgment and blame.

It also helps to remember what your goal is. If you want more conflict, go

ahead and blame. But if you want positive action, learn to give constructive

feedback instead.

Lou Tice

The Pacific Institute

" TPI teaches people how to manage change, set and achieve goals, lead more

effectively, and think in ways that create success. "

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Blessings,

Charlene

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