Re: - black and white thinking

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/19/02 12:07:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

barbtremon@... writes:

> other men look better " to me!! I don't know

> them -- so they're a blank slate. I can pretend they don't have

> their own set of problems, etc.

>

Barb,

I am not sure what this thread is about, but I noticed the end..the blank

slate thing! I have a ludicrous recurrent fantasy about Ben Affleck. I drag

it out in times of distress...when my husband is on my last nerve. It goes

like this: After my darling hubby who I love but cannot bear to look at one

more second mysteriously disappears (or is eaten by a rogue dragon from

Disneyworld) and leaves me an heiress to his fortune (which has been cleverly

hidden in his tool box at work)...I go to a fat farm, get a Cosmo makeover

and move out west. While shopping in the CVS on Rodeo Drive for " girl

stuff " , HE appears looking perplexed and desperate. He cannot find the his

favorite brand of toothpaste...since I have been shopping for half my

lifetime I know that the off brand " toms of maine " stuff is always on the

bottom shelf...I find it for him, he is grateful and we live happily ever

after...he loves my stretch marks, adores my children....doesn't care that my

other husband was eaten by a story book character....he has no opinions, no

purpose other than to make my knees turn to jelly! Of course, if I ever did

meet Ben Affleck and he fell in love with me, I'd probably disagree with his

politics, despise his toilet habits and criticize his shoes right before we

walked out the door for the party. The trouble with husbands who are

three dimensional is that the are three dimensional! They have pasts they

are dealing with, they have friends we'd rather not see, issues we'd rather

not face and hair in places no hair should be. It makes for a lot of work in

the marriage department!

Good luck with your slow progress of healing with your issues as he heals

slowly, too. In the meantime, you can always borrow my dragon...but stay

away from Ben Affleck...find your own trophy husband!

Hugs,

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Hey Debbie,

I like you fantasy. Except I'm not sure I would choose Ben Afleck. I have

to think about who I would choose. Actually my fantasy hasn't evolved as

much as yours. Like your husband, mine mysteriously disappears. Only I

don't replace him. I'm able to to do to the house exactly what I want. All

the clutter mysteriously disappears also. I have enought closet space for

my clothes. I can get the bedspread off the bed that I hate. I'm not ready

for another man, trophy husband or not, I'm ready to find who I am.

Re: - black and white thinking

In a message dated 7/19/02 12:07:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

barbtremon@... writes:

> other men look better " to me!! I don't know

> them -- so they're a blank slate. I can pretend they don't have

> their own set of problems, etc.

>

Barb,

I am not sure what this thread is about, but I noticed the end..the blank

slate thing! I have a ludicrous recurrent fantasy about Ben Affleck. I

drag

it out in times of distress...when my husband is on my last nerve. It

goes

like this: After my darling hubby who I love but cannot bear to look at

one

more second mysteriously disappears (or is eaten by a rogue dragon from

Disneyworld) and leaves me an heiress to his fortune (which has been

cleverly

hidden in his tool box at work)...I go to a fat farm, get a Cosmo makeover

and move out west. While shopping in the CVS on Rodeo Drive for " girl

stuff " , HE appears looking perplexed and desperate. He cannot find the

his

favorite brand of toothpaste...since I have been shopping for half my

lifetime I know that the off brand " toms of maine " stuff is always on the

bottom shelf...I find it for him, he is grateful and we live happily ever

after...he loves my stretch marks, adores my children....doesn't care that

my

other husband was eaten by a story book character....he has no opinions,

no

purpose other than to make my knees turn to jelly! Of course, if I ever

did

meet Ben Affleck and he fell in love with me, I'd probably disagree with

his

politics, despise his toilet habits and criticize his shoes right before

we

walked out the door for the party. The trouble with husbands who

are

three dimensional is that the are three dimensional! They have pasts they

are dealing with, they have friends we'd rather not see, issues we'd

rather

not face and hair in places no hair should be. It makes for a lot of work

in

the marriage department!

Good luck with your slow progress of healing with your issues as he heals

slowly, too. In the meantime, you can always borrow my dragon...but stay

away from Ben Affleck...find your own trophy husband!

Hugs,

Debbie

[Guest guest]

--- Stafford wrote:

> I like you fantasy. Except I'm not sure I would

> choose Ben Afleck. I have

> to think about who I would choose.

I would like it if I could just have my ex's eaten by

the story book monster and not have a new partner,

unless I could perhaps keep him in a bottle and bring

him out when needed. Otherwise, I am pretty down on

men right now. If I had to choose, it would be

on Ford, Mel Gibson, Nicolas Cage, or Bruce

Willis. Or perhaps I could just press a button on the

bottle and choose who I wanted for a particular day

Holly

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/22/02 8:25:03 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

hnjstaff@... writes:

> I'm ready to find who I am.

>

,

At the fat farm I attend (in the fantasy) the swedish massage therapist

whispers in your ear, " you are fabulous, you are beautiful, you are

strong " ....none of the rest matters! I have been working on this fantasy for

a long time...maybe I will work on an alternate in which I am left living

alone in a chic loft style apartment...eating alone at trendy cafes, yet

never lonely....sounds interesting!

Hugs,

Debbie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/22/02 10:46:15 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

hchermack@... writes:

> Or perhaps I could just press a button on the

> bottle and choose who I wanted for a particular day

>

Or they could be like dvd's...you can choose the scene you want...Scene 11,

Ben takes out the trash. Scene 23 Nicolas Cage calls me to say how desirable

my ample, " mom of three " hiney is to him. He goes on to mention that he beat

the pulp out of Tom Cruise for saying he thought I had pretty hair, when my

smile is really my best feature. Scene 44 Mel Gibson paints my toenails red.

After each scene they have to get back in there dvd case and stay put until

summoned again.

Hugs,

Debbie

[Guest guest]

--- sweepea1215@... wrote:

> In a message dated 7/22/02 10:46:15 AM Eastern

> Or they could be like dvd's...you can choose the

> scene you want...Scene 11,

> Ben takes out the trash. Scene 23 Nicolas Cage

> calls me to say how desirable

> my ample, " mom of three " hiney is to him.

I always liked the final scene of Diehard II where

Bruce Willis is screaming for his wife " Holly! "

Holly

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

--- sweepea1215@... wrote:

=

> At the fat farm I attend (in the fantasy) the

> swedish massage therapist

> whispers in your ear, " you are fabulous, you are

> beautiful, you are

> strong " ....none of the rest matters!

Being around bp's as long as I have, I would

automatically think 'what does he want?'

Holly

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Holly, I wanted to say the same thing about not wanting any men if my hubby

got eaten by a dragon, but I thought people would think I was antisocial. I

love on Ford. I used to think Bruce Willis was awesome too, but I'm

not to sure since his breakup with Demi. I heard to much bad press.

RE: - black and white thinking

--- Stafford wrote:

> I like you fantasy. Except I'm not sure I would

> choose Ben Afleck. I have

> to think about who I would choose.

I would like it if I could just have my ex's eaten by

the story book monster and not have a new partner,

unless I could perhaps keep him in a bottle and bring

him out when needed. Otherwise, I am pretty down on

men right now. If I had to choose, it would be

on Ford, Mel Gibson, Nicolas Cage, or Bruce

Willis. Or perhaps I could just press a button on the

bottle and choose who I wanted for a particular day

Holly

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

--- Stafford wrote:

> Holly, I wanted to say the same thing about not

> wanting any men if my hubby

> got eaten by a dragon, but I thought people would

> think I was antisocial. I

> love on Ford. I used to think Bruce Willis

> was awesome too, but I'm

> not to sure since his breakup with Demi. I heard to

> much bad press.

I don't think it's antisocial. I have just gotten

hurt so badly that I don't trust people in that

capacity any longer. I am not healthy enough right

now to attract a healthy partner. My (2nd) ex was bpd

and so now when people say nice things to me, I am

automatically suspicious because I don't want to get

screwed over again.

Holly

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: Holly Chermack

--- sweepea1215@... wrote:

=

> At the fat farm I attend (in the fantasy) the

> swedish massage therapist

> whispers in your ear, " you are fabulous, you are

> beautiful, you are

> strong " ....none of the rest matters!

Being around bp's as long as I have, I would

automatically think 'what does he want?'

>>>Me too. My ex is being really nice to me now. Makes me VERY suspicious.

But I refuse to be sucked back in to a bad relationship.

Hania