Re: I've just learned...to Rose

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I know you've had a terrible shock learning about BPD. It doesn't

matter whether you're 16 or 66, it's a lot to absorb. You'll have to

give yourself time to come to terms with this. I was 46 when I first

learned about BPD (about 9 months ago), and I feel like I'm only

beginning to cope and I don't have to live with my nada. I had to

grieve a while for the relationship I finally knew I would never have

with my nada, and start to accept her with the limitations I now know

that she has. I've done a lot of crying, and I spent a couple weeks

feeling like I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and let the

rest of the world go by. But, eventually you come to accept things

the way they are, you dust yourself off and get on with life. In

some ways it was very freeing to find out that, after all these years

and all the hurt, it wasn't me after all. To know finally that the

painful, destructive words that wounded me, day after day, when I was

a child were a result of my nada's mental illness, not something I

did or didn't do and not purposely inflicted by my nada. You'd think

that at my age, I'd have come to terms with all of that long ago,

even before I learned about BPD, but some wounds take a very, very

long time to heal. Right now you are a lot luckier than some of us.

You have family who care and want to help you, who understand that

your nada is mentally ill, that it's not you. You have your whole

life ahead of you, and you've just been given some new tools to build

a better, healthier life. How do you learn to trust? You find the

people who tell you the truth, who don't try to twist the facts to

suit their own purposes. Sounds to me like you have a sister who

truly cares about you and wants more than anything to see you safe

and happy - that's a terrific start. And things will get better, it

may take a lot of tears and a little time, but they will get better.

Stay close to those who love you, lean on them, that's how you get

through it.

Hugs,

Joy

[Guest guest]

crazydoggroomer wrote:

Hi,

Sounds to me like you have a sister who

truly cares about you and wants more than anything to see you safe

and happy - that's a terrific start. And things will get better, it

may take a lot of tears and a little time, but they will get better.

Stay close to those who love you, lean on them, that's how you get

through it.

Hugs,

Joy

It sounds sooooo good to hear Joy and others supporting me to my sister like

this. I do love her with all my heart and want her to be safe and OUT of the

BPD land of Oz. Thank you so much for supporting the both of us like this.

Especially since I feel like I've been losing my mind with worry- It just means

so much.

Thanks.

Love,

Sara

[Guest guest]

Sara,

Would you please keep me up to date with how Rose is doing or what's

going on in your world with this issue. I really do hope like you do

that Rose is able to get out of BPD land/Oz. She's really been in my

thoughts lately since her posting and I do hope she's okay, or ends up

in a better situation than the one she's been facing.

*hugs*

Kere

[Guest guest]

lonewolfe30 wrote:

Sara,

Would you please keep me up to date with how Rose is doing or what's

going on in your world with this issue.

Hi Kere,

The last I know is that Sis went back to Seattle on Saturday. She called me

around 1:30 in the morning to let me know she was safe-- thank goodness. I

haven't been able to reach her since, and I'm a little scared. She decided she

was going to tell Nada all the things she talked with us about. She wanted Nada

to know that she knew she was mentally ill, and needed to get help. She is

being very brave. Even Fada is afraid to call. Please keep praying and I'll

keep you posted.

Love,

Sara

---------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Wow, she is braver than I am. I still wouldn't tell the nada I had

been talking about her, and since I am the one with the mental

illness, it wouldn't do any good anyway. Your sister will be in my

prayers too Sara. I will look forward to hearing more from you both.

> Hi Kere,

>

> The last I know is that Sis went back to Seattle on Saturday. She

called me around 1:30 in the morning to let me know she was safe--

thank goodness. I haven't been able to reach her since, and I'm a

little scared. She decided she was going to tell Nada all the things

she talked with us about. She wanted Nada to know that she knew she

was mentally ill, and needed to get help. She is being very brave.

Even Fada is afraid to call. Please keep praying and I'll keep you

posted.

>

> Love,

>

> Sara

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>