travelling

August 3, 2002

I wanted to tell everyone aboput the conversation I had in a train terminal this

past week on vacation..I happened to be sitting beside a very nice lady who was

going on the same train..She stated telling me she was going to texas to visit

her aging mom and dad....Then she said her mom was very hard to deal with...Her

mom was now in her upper seventies..I asked if she had always been that way..She

said yes her mom had always hated her...I asked her to explain..She said her mom

ttold her when she was 10 it was her job to keep the house clean..She also said

her mom would just chop her hair off everytime she got mad at her...She would

browbeat what sounds to be her fada into whipping her everynight for some

trumped up charge...Her fada stopped coming home at a reasonable hour so he

wouldnt have to beat his child...She even said she told a school counsellor

about her moms behavior when she was 13..The counsellor in her wisdom called the

mom and told her no one could do the things to a child your daughter says you

do, therfore i think your daughter is mentally ill...She said her mother gave

her hell to pay after that..She stated she felt so all alone and never told a

soul again...To this day her mom literally tells her she is a reincarnated

queen(how fitting) and says why won't you get mad at me...

I recommended swoe and utbm to her and this list....It is funny how a two minute

conversation with a stranger turned into a KO talk...She had thought her mom was

schizophrenic( I explained that this was a common former misdiagnosis) Small

world!

August 5, 2002

,

Isn't it truly bizarre how the universe does seem to be expanding?

lol. I know in my own little circle of life, the only way I found

this board was by the fact my brother-in-law started to have some

severe issues with his xbpwife. My sister-in-law is a psychiatrist

and told me in all probability my nada was a BP back in the fall of

2000 when I got depressed after another episode. Well sil called me

up explaining what had been going on her life (her secretary at work

swoar that the x-wife had to be a former patient of sil's just b/c she

was calling every day at work when bil stopped talking to xwife) and

asked if there was any advice I could give my bil on how I've operated

with the BP in my life. Sure my sil is a psychiatrist, but BP isn't

her specialty. She deals with only psychotic patients who rarely if

ever get better in a mental hospital. So that's when I started getting

the energy to look beyond " I Hate You, Don't Leave Me " and went online

doing research.

I can now see that all my fada's side of the family is also BP and

it's kind of sad that it's never been diagnosed and misdiagnosed with

four aunts and uncles seeking therapy on and off for 10-20 years.

Heck, I went to 8 different ones growing up and NEVER heard the term

Borderline Personality Disorder. But the 1990s, I now see was truly

the age of enlightenment for family members and spouses of these

terribly complicated people who do suffer from a real mental disorder

with a name (Thank God it has a name finally in my life!).

I am, however, kind of sad as I can also see that two friends who were

like little brothers to me died over this issue. Both of them were

only children of low functioning BP mothers (not sure, but think

they'd probably also fall under the witch catagory too) and both took

their own lives. I have a hard time truly comprehending it now and

coming to peace with what their fate was learning all that I am

learning now. Part of me just wishes they'd held on for a little bit

longer, but understand how they felt. Both were young men under the

ages of 23 when they took their lives and that's also par for the

course where suicide attempts differ with male versus female populace.

Men are more likely to follow through and not threaten as often as

females according to the books I've read. But both of them were

genuinely sweet people underneath who deserved a better shot at life.

Maybe in another way, I can look at it as them being on the other

side helping me out to find the path different than the one we shared.

But I am sad right now over realizing these things I wish I knew

then.

I also can see some distinct BP tendencies in my X-fiance that sealed

the deal with us. His mom, nada, was very BP too as I remember one

time having to hang up on her and feeling so rude. She refused to let

me go while I was on the other line with my brother whom I only spoke

to once a month at best. She called my X at least twice a week and

was just wanting to know some information about hockey rules. I was

like 'what part of " I'm on the other line, he'll call you back "

doesn't she get?' I had to hang up after three or four attempts to

tell her I wasn't going to hang up with my brother so she could speak

to X over this matter that was not life or death (hockey!). And she

couldn't seem to get it, grasp the absurdity of her request. She never

showed her witch side to me though, but I'm sure X saw it several

times growing up.

I also see another friend who I had to just let go of last year during

my depression as being very BP too and coming from a BP home. Her

mother put her in an orphanage for two or three years and it probably

doesn't get much more BP than that. Never mind all the horror stories

she told me of her childhood. I've yet to meet anyone who's stories

rival her life story and so it makes sense she'd develope BPD too at

the end of the day, regardless of the college education. I'm thinking

of calling her though just because she always seemed to want to know

what exactly it was that made her tick and her family tick. She's one

of the few BPs I really have hope for as the X is way too off in the

pasture to ever talk reasonably about BP with. Hard to be friends

with him even now albeit sharing mutual friends.

I think it's sad how the school counselor didn't believe this lady you

met while traveling. It doesn't seem to unusual from all I've heard

and from what I went through. I learned early on to shut my mouth

with regards to the chaos my mother created in our lives. It was

always understood even in therapy that SHE was paying for it and it

was HER insurance that covered our hospital stays and SHE could switch

therapists when SHE didn't like the results. So I had a hard time

breaking down last year and trying to finally trust the psychiatric

community again. I think it helps having a shrink in my inlaw family

as I love her to death. But being a KO is so invalidating and it's a

real societal issue that causes adults to turn away and do nothing

when seeing a child in an abusive situation. I think I read one time,

and I'm sorry I can't remember the originator of this quote, about

" The only way for true evil to triumph is for good people to turn

aside and do nothing when faced with the truth. " Or something like

that and maybe it was from survivors of the Holocaust. Can't remember,

but I think it's true and we live in a slightly apathetic culture if

you ask me, but that's just my opinion. I know my generation, Gen-X,

is totally labelled apathetic.

Thanks for sharing your story and thanks more for passing along the

'lightbulb' to someone else who needed validation. I think that's

probably the best us KOs can do for one another- validate and

empathize.

Kere

> I wanted to tell everyone aboput the conversation I had in a train

terminal this past week on vacation..I happened to be sitting beside a

very nice lady who was going on the same train..She stated telling me

she was going to texas to visit her aging mom and dad....Then she said

her mom was very hard to deal with...Her mom was now in her upper

seventies..I asked if she had always been that way..She said yes her

mom had always hated her...I asked her to explain..She said her mom

ttold her when she was 10 it was her job to keep the house clean..She

also said her mom would just chop her hair off everytime she got mad

at her...She would browbeat what sounds to be her fada into whipping

her everynight for some trumped up charge...Her fada stopped coming

home at a reasonable hour so he wouldnt have to beat his child...She

even said she told a school counsellor about her moms behavior when

she was 13..The counsellor in her wisdom called the mom and told her

no one could do the things to a child your daughter says you do,

therfore i think your daughter is mentally ill...She said her mother

gave her hell to pay after that..She stated she felt so all alone and

never told a soul again...To this day her mom literally tells her she

is a reincarnated queen(how fitting) and says why won't you get mad at

me...

> I recommended swoe and utbm to her and this list....It is funny how

a two minute conversation with a stranger turned into a KO talk...She

had thought her mom was schizophrenic( I explained that this was a

common former misdiagnosis) Small world!

>

June 11, 2008

,

I wouldn't be scared about traveling just make sure you bring your proper medications with you and be sure to have a rescue inhaler on you. A travel companion is always good. Otherwise, if anything bad were to happen you can always go to a local hospital in whatever state you are in and use your health insurance in case of an emergency. I have several friends taht live in the UK, you should be ok, just take it easy into new weather environments and see how your body reactes. Be sure to bring allergy medicines if you have any, we have different pollens probably, a good over the counter prescription is Zyrtec, 24 hour Allergy relief.

Otherwise, take it slow and if you feel you body responding to any triggers be sure to get yourself into an airconditioned environment.

Travelling

Anyone got any good advice about travelling? I've not been anywhere since I've been diagnosed (apart from to my parent's house for teh Easter hols), but am going on a 3 week holiday in July / August. Having read comments recently about heat / humidity, I'm a little concerned, as I know it will be far hotter than here in teh UK. Humidity I don't know about.

It will also be the first time I've ever been out of Europe, so it will be doubly interesting. .. I keep swinging between being really excited, and scared, thinking OMG, what am I letting myself in for!

Jenn

Tha can tek t'lass outta Yorkshire... !

Don't brand me, don't classify me, don't tell me what to wear. I'll be who I want to be, and I'm proud to be me.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email.

June 11, 2008

I strongly urdge you to talk to your Asthma dr about this! I have a portable machine, and I take all my stuff with me!

Terry I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teddy Bear's Early Learning ProgramEstablished August of 1992

From: asthma [mailto:asthma ] On Behalf Of A HillSent: Wednesday, June 11, 2008 3:08 PMTo: asthma Subject: Travelling

Anyone got any good advice about travelling? I've not been anywhere since I've been diagnosed (apart from to my parent's house for teh Easter hols), but am going on a 3 week holiday in July / August. Having read comments recently about heat / humidity, I'm a little concerned, as I know it will be far hotter than here in teh UK. Humidity I don't know about.

It will also be the first time I've ever been out of Europe, so it will be doubly interesting... I keep swinging between being really excited, and scared, thinking OMG, what am I letting myself in for!

Jenn

Tha can tek t'lass outta Yorkshire...!

Don't brand me, don't classify me, don't tell me what to wear. I'll be who I want to be, and I'm proud to be me.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email.

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June 12, 2008

IF you have insurance they will pay for it as it's under durable medial equipment, you can also buy them on line, some places you need a prescription some places you don't. I have one that stays home that plugs into the wall. and I have one that runs on a rechargeable battery, or the cigarette lighter thing in the vehicle. But since I started using the Chamber thing I haven't needed either machine, so I packed them up and put them on a shelf in the garage for now. Talk to your dr about getting your own machine, they aren't that expensive

Terry I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teddy Bear's Early Learning ProgramEstablished August of 1992

From: asthma [mailto:asthma ] On Behalf Of M GSent: Wednesday, June 11, 2008 5:12 PMTo: asthma Subject: Re: Travelling

Can you tell me abou your portable machines, there are times I have thought that I could really use one of those nebulizers like they have in the doctors office, instead I would make a doctors appointmetn and run over to the office sicne it was across the street. I at times had thought it woudl be a good idea to have one at home especially if I run across cigerrette smoke.

Travelling

Anyone got any good advice about travelling? I've not been anywhere since I've been diagnosed (apart from to my parent's house for teh Easter hols), but am going on a 3 week holiday in July / August. Having read comments recently about heat / humidity, I'm a little concerned, as I know it will be far hotter than here in teh UK. Humidity I don't know about.

It will also be the first time I've ever been out of Europe, so it will be doubly interesting. .. I keep swinging between being really excited, and scared, thinking OMG, what am I letting myself in for!

Jenn

Tha can tek t'lass outta Yorkshire... !

Don't brand me, don't classify me, don't tell me what to wear. I'll be who I want to be, and I'm proud to be me.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email.

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June 12, 2008

Hi Jenn,

Travel away and don't let asthma stop you! However, you may need to

take a few extra precautions to have a great trip. Take all your meds

and a nebulizer (if you have one) with you. Talk to your doctor about

your trip and make sure you have phone numbers to reach him if you have

trouble while gone. I always take some prednisone and instructions for

when to use it, in case of a bad flare while travelling. If you are

going somewhere that will have increased pollen or dust or something

that you know might be a problem, talk to the doctor about adjusting

your medincine for the time period you will be in that area. Never set

foot anywhere without your albuterol rescue inhaler. Take a dust mask

to keep in your purse, in case you need it.

Not much you can do about heat and humidity except use air conditioning

when available and pace yourself in your sightseeing if it is bothering

you. You might not be able to do everything everyone else is, but see

and do what you can without making yourself ill. For example, I can't

do a long hike through the pollen/mold filled woods on some of our

trips, but I send the others and I find something to see or do indoors.

We can't go camping at the lake anymore, which I miss, but we can go to

the lake and stay in an air-conditioned motel room and I can spend time

boating and fishing and then go back into the air-conditioning when it

is too much for my asthma. So you just adjust the trip to what you can

do and have a great time.

If possible, call ahead to the places you will be staying. Let them

know you are asthmatic and need a clean, non-dusty, non-smoky room. The

biggest problem I've ever had while traveling is when my room has made

me sick from smoke or mold. Once my non-smoking room was below a

smoking room and the smoke was getting sucked into the ventilation

system and coming into my room, making me flare badly. Don't hesitate

to insist on another room to keep yourself healthy.

Enjoy your travel experiences to the fullest. Sometimes you will find

your asthma is actually better when you're somewhere else, as your body

isn't allergic to the different pollens in that region. I'm jealous-we

aren't going to go anywhere this summer due to the high gas prices and I

would love to get away.

Have a great trip!!!

>

> Anyone got any good advice about travelling? I've not been anywhere

since I've been diagnosed (apart from to my parent's house for teh

Easter hols), but am going on a 3 week holiday in July / August. Having

read comments recently about heat / humidity, I'm a little concerned, as

I know it will be far hotter than here in teh UK. Humidity I don't know

about.

> & nbsp;

> It will also be the first time I've ever been out of Europe, so it

will be doubly interesting... I keep swinging between being really

excited, and scared, thinking OMG, what am I letting myself in for!

> & nbsp;

> Jenn

>

> Tha can tek t'lass outta Yorkshire...!

> & nbsp;

> Don't brand me, don't classify me, don't tell me what to wear. I'll be

who I want to be, and I'm proud to be me.

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Sent from Yahoo! Mail.

> A Smarter Email http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/nowyoucan.html

>

June 12, 2008

Excellent advise, I was going to tell her about the hotel rooms. I always

tell them when I make reservations that I have serious allergies and my room

needs to be allergy free, if I get there and have trouble, we stayed on the

boardwalk in OC MD and with that you will find mold or mildew, well I had a

terrible time and couldn't figure out why, well I looked behind the curtain

to find major mold. Had management come to the room as I could not go

anywhere due to treating the asthma at that moment, He had the cleaning

staff get us a better room and had them take down the curtains, they had

some brand new ones (they were getting ready to remodel a few rooms and hung

them) the new room made such a difference, and they also took 2 days off of

our 4 day stay due to that, he said that made him realize how sensitive

people are to things like that and he'd start having his cleaning staff pay

closer attention to things like that! So see a lesson learned for everyone

Terry

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He

didn't trust me so much. ~Mother

Teddy Bear's Early Learning Program

Established August of 1992

Re: Travelling

Hi Jenn,

Travel away and don't let asthma stop you! However, you may need to take a

few extra precautions to have a great trip. Take all your meds and a

nebulizer (if you have one) with you. Talk to your doctor about your trip

and make sure you have phone numbers to reach him if you have trouble while

gone. I always take some prednisone and instructions for when to use it, in

case of a bad flare while travelling. If you are going somewhere that will

have increased pollen or dust or something that you know might be a problem,

talk to the doctor about adjusting your medincine for the time period you

will be in that area. Never set foot anywhere without your albuterol rescue

inhaler. Take a dust mask to keep in your purse, in case you need it.

Not much you can do about heat and humidity except use air conditioning when

available and pace yourself in your sightseeing if it is bothering you. You

might not be able to do everything everyone else is, but see and do what you

can without making yourself ill. For example, I can't do a long hike

through the pollen/mold filled woods on some of our trips, but I send the

others and I find something to see or do indoors.

We can't go camping at the lake anymore, which I miss, but we can go to the

lake and stay in an air-conditioned motel room and I can spend time boating

and fishing and then go back into the air-conditioning when it is too much

for my asthma. So you just adjust the trip to what you can do and have a

great time.

If possible, call ahead to the places you will be staying. Let them know

you are asthmatic and need a clean, non-dusty, non-smoky room. The biggest

problem I've ever had while traveling is when my room has made me sick from

smoke or mold. Once my non-smoking room was below a smoking room and the

smoke was getting sucked into the ventilation system and coming into my

room, making me flare badly. Don't hesitate to insist on another room to

keep yourself healthy.

Enjoy your travel experiences to the fullest. Sometimes you will find your

asthma is actually better when you're somewhere else, as your body isn't

allergic to the different pollens in that region. I'm jealous-we aren't

going to go anywhere this summer due to the high gas prices and I would love

to get away.

Have a great trip!!!

>

> Anyone got any good advice about travelling? I've not been anywhere

since I've been diagnosed (apart from to my parent's house for teh Easter

hols), but am going on a 3 week holiday in July / August. Having read

comments recently about heat / humidity, I'm a little concerned, as I know

it will be far hotter than here in teh UK. Humidity I don't know about.

> & nbsp;

> It will also be the first time I've ever been out of Europe, so it

will be doubly interesting... I keep swinging between being really excited,

and scared, thinking OMG, what am I letting myself in for!

> & nbsp;

> Jenn

>

> Tha can tek t'lass outta Yorkshire...!

> & nbsp;

> Don't brand me, don't classify me, don't tell me what to wear. I'll be

who I want to be, and I'm proud to be me.

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Sent from Yahoo! Mail.

> A Smarter Email http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/nowyoucan.html

>

------------------------------------

June 12, 2008

I love my nebulizer. I carry it with me at all times. Don't use it too much, but it is a Godsend when I need it.

Cheryl Burton ncicheryl@...

Travelling

Anyone got any good advice about travelling? I've not been anywhere since I've been diagnosed (apart from to my parent's house for teh Easter hols), but am going on a 3 week holiday in July / August. Having read comments recently about heat / humidity, I'm a little concerned, as I know it will be far hotter than here in teh UK. Humidity I don't know about.

It will also be the first time I've ever been out of Europe, so it will be doubly interesting. .. I keep swinging between being really excited, and scared, thinking OMG, what am I letting myself in for!

Jenn

Tha can tek t'lass outta Yorkshire... !

Don't brand me, don't classify me, don't tell me what to wear. I'll be who I want to be, and I'm proud to be me.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail. A Smarter Email.

No viruses found in this incoming messageScanned by iolo AntiVirus 1.5.3.5http://www.iolo. com

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June 12, 2008

The only problem with that is that I'll be staying in Casa Particulares, so there won't be an alternative room...

I don't have a nebuliser, but I've heard you can't always fully rely on the electricity!

As for taking doctor's phone number etc, our doctor's system works differently here. If you have an out of hours emergency, and want to speak to someone, we have a system called NHS direct, where you speak to a triage nurse, who then advises you whether to go to A & E, get out the on call doctor (or go to an out of hours doctor if there is one in your area - my mum has taken my sister at about 10pm before), or if you will be okay to just wait till morning.

I haven't sorted travel insurance yet - again, we don't have health insurance here, since we have the NHS. Which, whilst it is not the best system, after reading many of your messages about the cost of treatment, not being able to get certain medicines or insurance not paying for them, not being abke to afford medicine outright, I realise that really, we are quite lucky. Touchwood I've never neeeded medical treatment abroad before, even hwen living abroad, but again, that was always in Europe, and there is an EU-Wide health agreement if you need medical treatment in an EU country other than your own.

I need to see the asthma nurse anyway before I move back home for the summer so I'll speak to her. I'll also see if I can get an extra inhaler on my prescription this time in case i need it more than usual whilst away (I was planning on asking for a repeat prescription whether or not I needed it before moving back home, as it's cheaper in Scotland than in England!!)

Jenn

Tha can tek t'lass outta Yorkshire...!

Don't brand me, don't classify me, don't tell me what to wear. I'll be who I want to be, and I'm proud to be me.

Subject: RE: Re: TravellingTo: asthma Date: Thursday, 12 June, 2008, 4:02 PMExcellent advise, I was going to tell her about the hotel rooms. I always