- Re: Finally got away

[Guest guest]

You know , no matter what you do you are probably going to feel

guilty. Caregivers that kept their LOs at home have felt guilty

because they waited too long to find a place for them...or they let

them go too early, or shoulda woulda coulda and then shoulda woulda

coulda again!

I'm struggling with the same thing right now but if you talk to me I

don't sound like I have any doubts. My Dad is probably doing better

than every other LO in this group. In fact, he is better off now than

he was when he went to AL from his apartment over a year ago. He was

given 30 days notice at AL and we brought him home rather than send

him to a locked facility. He was diagnosed, we structured his life,

balanced his meds, and he has accepted his disease and knows what's

in store. Now they are building an AL with an AD unit just 2 minutes

from our home.

The owners have a philosophy of stages: independent living to

assisted living to hospice. They want the residents to live in their

AL home, care for them in their most fragile stages until they pass

thereby eliminating the NH experience if at all possible. If we get

him in now, when it's brand new, he will be there first, will be

the " old timer " that can show everyone else where to go and how to do

things which will appeal to him. I feel this is an opportunity for

him to live some place where he won't have to move from and hopefully

accept as his home.

I talked to the AL yesterday (they have an office at the building

site)and happened to mention that it bugged my Dad that when you

leave the AL to have dinner with your family, they don't give you

credit for the meal you didn't eat. She thought giving a credit was a

good idea. She suggested that they could give him a credit that he

could use to invite someone to have lunch at " his home. " That really

impressed me. Sunrise AL has another facility north of us so I will

go visit them next week and talk to the residents.

And you know , no matter how well this goes, no matter how happy

my Dad is, I will still feel guilty. Woulda, coulda, shoulda!

Hugs

Jan

Sacramento CA