Guest guest Posted July 14, 2002 Report Share Posted July 14, 2002 << Yes. Lacking empathy, your nada could care less about *you* and your wants and needs. What was important to your nada was that you had to conform to your nada's image of the " ideal daughter " in your nada's head. >> Yo Edith and Other KOs, Wow, this hair issue is really something. I have very, very long platinum blonde hair. Nada used to make remarks about it being too long for a person 'my age'. (That is until I clobbered her with some hair boundaries when she visited a few weeks ago. I told her that any comments on my hair, make-up, clothes, etc., were off-limits and that I would wear my hair the color I wanted it, the style I wanted it and the length I wanted it). Anyhoo, she would come up behind he and make some remark about it being too long. Or make some remark about how some 'over a certain age' shouldn't wear their hair that long. Well, KOs, it was directed at me. I used to get hoovered in by those remarks and state that " hey, I had hair " , or " I haven't lost it to chemo and bad perm, etc., " or something that wouldn't make a particle bit of difference. It still didn't matter. So, I had been wanting to cut my hair on my own anyway because it was getting in the way, hard to curl and brush out. So shen she visited a few weeks ago, I let her see it down my back first and then when she came back had it lopped off about 5 inches. She didn't say a word. She stated in the past she wanted it really short or braided in, but in truth it's just much easier for me to take care of longer. And the platinum blonde thing is a nada thing. Her hair color is my natural hair color a more brownette (?). I bleached it out when I was 16 and never went back. I don't really know my natural hair color because it's nada's. Ewwwwwww. I just guess at it. I get the lightest shades and stock up. (They are all the same if I stay in the same brand). But, I'm a blonde at heart. I've been every shade of blonde there is. If they don't have my color in, I just try a new one. The 51 year-old platinum blonde rebel, Rita " And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the keyboard away. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2002 Report Share Posted July 14, 2002 In a message dated 7/14/02 6:39:10 AM Eastern Daylight Time, anyrae75@... writes: > My nada was always very controlling over my hair More lesson from Nada College, I guess. Girls, I have a secret to divulge...I have naturally curly hair...wild hair. The kind of hair which people claim they want from a perm, but would hate if they had! Believe it or no, when I was in third grade, and until high school, Megatron kept my hair cut short and had it permed. PERMED FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!! I resembled 's hair-do double from the cover of his " Off the Wall " album. Total afro! Finally, when I was a freshman in high school, I refused to get my hair cut or permed anymore...I let it grow out...and I dyed it reddish blonde. Rebellion! Now Megatron frequently sighs heavily and asks me if I am EVER gonna brush my hair. I don't brush it if it is dry...frizz city. I keep it as neat as possible in the humidity, but usually opt for a high ponytail...looking like I am about 12 years old...FINE BY ME! She hates it! But, after all these years...IT IS MY HAIR!!!!!!! YIPPEEEEE! Hugs, Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2002 Report Share Posted July 14, 2002 In a message dated 7/14/02 11:09:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time, wondrrkid@... writes: > After waiting all those years, I was soooooo > ***frustrated*** that I grabbed the scissors and cut off one of my > braids and THREW IT AT HER Edith, This is my favorite story ever....thanks for standing up to the big monster!!!!! Hugs, Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2002 Report Share Posted July 14, 2002 In a message dated 7/14/02 7:18:34 PM Eastern Daylight Time, cheetoweeto@... writes: > My routine is similar, shampoo, > condition everytime, mouse it, and let it dry on its > own. My hair is in a high ponytail as we speak! > > , I feel your pain! My newest battle against the elements has involved french braiding my wet hair before bed...in the morning it is slightly less " rat's nest...no vacancy " . I do not ever use a blow drier, unless the hair stylist is blowing it out straight....which takes an hour, minimum! Megatron has an entire list of hair comments that she pulls out for different occasions...most of them involve " it would've been nice if you had.... " or " did you ever try using..... " The funny thing is that she loves the curls my daughters have...she must not realize that they will look exactly like me in a few years!!! Hugs and Giggles, Debbie PS...praying for low humidity...LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2002 Report Share Posted July 14, 2002 LOL Debbie, I have the matching set of hair! Thats why I hated it when I ran out and got the feathered haircut I had been begging for. My routine is similar, shampoo, condition everytime, mouse it, and let it dry on its own. My hair is in a high ponytail as we speak! Nadas favorite hair comment when I was an adult " Oh my god, you are so lucky to have natural curl. If it were *my* hair I would make it look gorgeous! " Must have heard that underhanded, backhanded comment 5000 times. I had forgot about that, I am annoyed just thinking about it! --- sweepea1215@... wrote: > In a message dated 7/14/02 6:39:10 AM Eastern > Daylight Time, anyrae75@... > writes: > > > > My nada was always very controlling over my hair > > More lesson from Nada College, I guess. Girls, I > have a secret to > divulge...I have naturally curly hair...wild hair. > The kind of hair which > people claim they want from a perm, but would hate > if they had! Believe it > or no, when I was in third grade, and until high > school, Megatron kept my > hair cut short and had it permed. PERMED FOR GOD'S > SAKE!!!!! I resembled > 's hair-do double from the cover of > his " Off the Wall " album. > Total afro! Finally, when I was a freshman in high > school, I refused to get > my hair cut or permed anymore...I let it grow > out...and I dyed it reddish > blonde. Rebellion! Now Megatron frequently sighs > heavily and asks me if I > am EVER gonna brush my hair. I don't brush it if it > is dry...frizz city. I > keep it as neat as possible in the humidity, but > usually opt for a high > ponytail...looking like I am about 12 years > old...FINE BY ME! She hates it! > But, after all these years...IT IS MY HAIR!!!!!!! > YIPPEEEEE! > > Hugs, > > Debbie > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2002 Report Share Posted July 14, 2002 Edith and everyone, Your talking about cutting off your braids reminds me of my grandnada, who was the witch kind (our nada was a waif). I'll never forget one night sleeping over at granny's with all my cousins and younger brother. Well younger brother had a rat tail at the time (was in the early 80s). Grandnada didn't like it and thought it looked bad so she cut it off in his sleep. It's little wonder he hates her and won't speak to her. What's up with the BPD and thinking they've got reign over someone's hair for God's sake?!? I shaved half my head in high school just on principle and had it hid from nada for a couple of months before she discovered me sleeping in one Saturday morning a few months before I graduated. She hit the roof, of course. Yelling at the top of her lungs " What happened to your hair! What happened to your hair! " as though someone had come in the middle of the night and stolen the hair right off my head. It was probably one of my last few acts of rebellion I could get away with in high school before getting out into the real world. I mean, I wanted to shave my hair, but I also wanted to be nothing like her and was total punk rock girl. Of course she kicked me out as soon as I graduated and the last social security check came in July from my dad's death (once she wasn't getting paid to keep me, then out I went- screw my college ambitions- yeah, right). I think that's why I've always had huge hair issues- going to extremes with my hair just b/c she was so in control of it when I was so little and never cared how I felt- and same with grandnada the wicked witch. Interesting topic. Kere > > << > My nada was always very controlling over my hair. She would never > let me grow out my bangs, I have always had them. Even now today I > still have bangs. She would actually make a disgusted face and > say " oh goodness no! " when I would ask her what it would look like. > I remember her doing this even recently, I never thought much about > it, but now it makes me kinda mad. > >> > > Yes. Lacking empathy, your nada could care less about *you* and your > wants and needs. What was important to your nada was that you had to > conform to your nada's image of the " ideal daughter " in your nada's > head. > > << > Someone else mentioned those little pink foam rollers, yep had those > too. Those were not as bad as the horrible beast of a curling iron > she had. She was a beautician so she had this giant curling iron > with metal & longer plastic teeth. It was orange. I remember having > to sit soooo still while she curled my bangs under, if not it would > burn my forehead. She used to pop us on the head with the hairbrush > if we were squirming, every once in a while she would forget that it > wasn't the brush and pop us with the curling iron. So, eventually > all of the plastic teeth had been broken off of it, so it was just a > metal toothed monster. Oh I hated that thing!! I can still so > vividly remember the sound it would make and feeling the heat from it > near my ears and forehead. This thing was around for years. I > remember it from even before I was in kindergarten and it was around > until just a few years ago. It should be in a museum of nada torture > tools somewhere. ha ha, No wonder I have straight hair. > >> > > With my nada, we could NEVER cut our hair. When I was little she hurt us > so bad when she combed our hair that my sister and I learned to take > care of it ourSelves early in life. I wore braids all the way through > grade school. She promised all those years that I could have my hair > short when I graduated from grade school (ie, 8th grade) but then she > changed her mind. After waiting all those years, I was soooooo > ***frustrated*** that I grabbed the scissors and cut off one of my > braids and THREW IT AT HER!!!!! Then I was shocked that she didn't kill > me for doing that. But, from what I know now, her non-response was a > typical nada response to confrontation when they KNEW that they've lost > control over whatever. The controlling witch/monster in them just kind > of shrivels up for awhile. > > - Edith > Moderator / WelcomeToOz Family of NonBP email support groups > > > > I had a moment where I realized that nada's opinions still had some > control > > over me. The other day someone asked me about my hair. I was > asked why I > > was growing it out. ( I've had short hair for years!)I had decided > to let it > > grow out so that the hairdresser had something to work with for my > daughters > > wedding. My hair is now in the middle of my back, and I have grown > to love > > the feel of it when I turn my head and feel it move across my back. > > > > I told this person that nada had told me that I wasn't attractive > enough to > > have long hair. That my face wasn't correct for long hair. She had > told me > > this when I was in second grade and had just cut off all of my long > hair. It > > was past my butt!! > > Wow! light bulbs going off!!! > > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2002 Report Share Posted July 15, 2002 Kere, I shaved one side of my hair off too in high school. And then I would shave lines into it as it grew back. Pretty huh? ha ha I also chopped off my hair once. I braided it into 2 braids and hacked them both off and left them on the kitchen counter for mom to find. I still have one of them! I never knew what she would flip out over, turns out this didn't really get her too angry. I remember her feeling around on my head while I was still asleep the next morning. How funny, it is like I thought it would hurt HER to chop off MY hair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2002 Report Share Posted July 15, 2002 , Mine did have somewhat of the desired effect I was going for. Basically i chopped it off for me and me only- cause I knew I could then and probably couldn't any other time in my life after high school. Well I didn't tell nada about it, at all. And two months later she found out in my sleep and freaked out. Her main beef was what would the think, you know that whole 'image' thing. I guess underneath I just didn't care what people thought and sociologically it truly was a great experiment. Some people whom I thought would be really open minded and love it, were truly flabergasted and appalled. Other people who I originally thought were a bit conservative and close minded genuinely loved it and admired my gual in shaving half my head. It was truly interesting to say the least, from some of the deans right down to some of my fellow punk rocker friends who I thought would've liked it. Funny, but it just goes to show even further that you can't judge a book by it's cover- them of me, nor me of them. Now my hair's really short and pixie looking with highlights, but I'm sure I'll change it again sometime soon. Can't stand my hair being the same for too long. Kere > Kere, I shaved one side of my hair off too in high school. And then I would > shave lines into it as it grew back. Pretty huh? ha ha I also chopped off > my hair once. I braided it into 2 braids and hacked them both off and left > them on the kitchen counter for mom to find. I still have one of them! I > never knew what she would flip out over, turns out this didn't really get her > too angry. I remember her feeling around on my head while I was still asleep > the next morning. How funny, it is like I thought it would hurt HER to chop > off MY hair! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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