Re: Personality Disorder Definition

[Guest guest]

This is interesting, but it leads me to a question? If these are patterns

of behaviors, what differentiates a BP from a KO who manifests fleas that

cause discomfort and impair a persons ability to function? For example my

nada's nada was the grandnada of all. I would classify my nada as a

waif/queen, but I would classify my grandnada as a queen/witch. So could my

mom be a KO with unrecognized fleas or because she never acknowledges her

fleas, does that make her a KO?

Personality Disorder Definition

Here is what I found, I will post the mental illness

one that I found seperately.

Personality disorders

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Overview | Treatment

Definition

Individual traits that reflect ingrained, inflexible,

and maladaptive patterns of behavior that cause

discomfort and impair a persons ability to function.

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Alternative names

Axis II disorders

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Causes, incidences, and risk factors

The exact cause of personality disorders is not known,

however, several theories attempt to explain the

cause. Biologic theorists believe chromosomal or

nervous system disorders are the cause. Social

theorists believe learned behavior responses cause the

disorders. Psychodynamic theorists use deficiencies in

ego development to explain the causes.

The disorders have only been recently categorized and

include the following:

Paranoid personality disorder

Schizoid personality disorder

Histrionic personality disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder

Antisocial personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder

Avoidant personality disorder

Dependent personality disorder

Compulsive personality disorder

Passive-aggressive personality disorder

They lack sufficient coping mechanisms to be adaptive

and have difficulty dealing with everyday stresses and

problems. These disorders are manifested by

difficulties in interpersonal relationships with

others.

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Symptoms

Symptoms vary widely in individuals and differ with

the diagnosis. Generally, they reflect difficulties in

coping with life and the environment.

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Signs and tests

A personal history that shows maladaption and a

psychological evaluation may indicate personality

disorders of various types. Screening tests are

available.

--- sweepea1215@... wrote:

> In a message dated 7/3/02 7:44:48 PM Eastern

> Daylight Time,

> ahimsa@... writes:

>

>

> > I know that this is probably just semantics but

> I'm just curious.

> >

>

> I'm curious too....Edith, please enlighten us!

>

> Hugs,

>

> Debbie

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

, there's one HUGE difference between a BP and a KO. BPs blame

everyone else for their problems, never themselves. KOs, on the other

hand, blame THEMSELVES for everything, including nada's insanity and her

problems.

BPs can be KOs too, which gets mighty complicated. In the book,

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " , it says that all-good children

don't usually become BP, whereas the all-bad child usually does. Was

your nada split all-bad by your g'nada? If so, your nada was a KO, who

became a BP probably because of the all-bad splitting.

This is just my opinion, but it seems that once someone becomes BP, the

" blame everyone else " syndrome takes over and submerges the KO's

self-blame-ness. The core characteristic of a BP is " blaming

others " .

SmileS!

Carol

Stafford wrote:

> ...... what differentiates a BP from a KO who manifests fleas that

> cause discomfort and impair a persons ability to function? For example my

> nada's nada was the grandnada of all. I would classify my nada as a

> waif/queen, but I would classify my grandnada as a queen/witch. So could my

> mom be a KO with unrecognized fleas or because she never acknowledges her

> fleas, does that make her a KO?

[Guest guest]

> > ...... what differentiates a BP from a KO who manifests fleas that

> > cause discomfort and impair a persons ability to function? For

example my

> > nada's nada was the grandnada of all. I would classify my nada

as a

> > waif/queen, but I would classify my grandnada as a queen/witch.

So could my

> > mom be a KO with unrecognized fleas or because she never

acknowledges her

> > fleas, does that make her a KO?

[Guest guest]

wowgirl wrote:

> I was considered the " all bad " child. However, I sought therapy (to

> fix myself bc I was " all bad) and worked on elimating the fleas. I

> take umbrage with the generalization that the " all bads " turn into

> BPs. I fought that and won!

Super! Super! Super! What courage, tenacity and determination! Us KOs

were made with fiber of steel!

Yes, generalizations can be the pits! When I read that, it helped to

explain my situation. I was split all-good, and my brother all-bad.

I'm not BP, and my brother is. I didn't understand why I wasn't BP too,

so that explanation made sense.

wowgirl wrote:

> My mom is still blaming all others for her attitude and lack

> of responsibility. She is a classic " witch. " I refuse to let her

> attack me, mine or anyone else I love. I believe in being

> accountable for your actions and taking responsibility for them as

> well. And I don't let anyone push me into negative, bp, vampire

> relationships!

You go, girl! Woo! Hoo!

Smiles!

Carol

[Guest guest]

This is so good. I needed to hear this because my ex told my former therapist

that I was BP. I know I am a KO because I can see mistakes I make and try

REALLY hard to change. Nada could care less about the havoc she creates.

Nothing is her fault.

Hania

Re: Personality Disorder Definition

, there's one HUGE difference between a BP and a KO. BPs blame

everyone else for their problems, never themselves. KOs, on the other

hand, blame THEMSELVES for everything, including nada's insanity and her

problems.

BPs can be KOs too, which gets mighty complicated. In the book,

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " , it says that all-good children

don't usually become BP, whereas the all-bad child usually does. Was

your nada split all-bad by your g'nada? If so, your nada was a KO, who

became a BP probably because of the all-bad splitting.

This is just my opinion, but it seems that once someone becomes BP, the

" blame everyone else " syndrome takes over and submerges the KO's

self-blame-ness. The core characteristic of a BP is " blaming

others " .

SmileS!

Carol

Stafford wrote:

> ...... what differentiates a BP from a KO who manifests fleas that

> cause discomfort and impair a persons ability to function? For example my

> nada's nada was the grandnada of all. I would classify my nada as a

> waif/queen, but I would classify my grandnada as a queen/witch. So could my

> mom be a KO with unrecognized fleas or because she never acknowledges her

> fleas, does that make her a KO?

[Guest guest]

Happy Independence Day Everyone.

Hania wrote:

<<

This is so good. I needed to hear this because my ex told my former

therapist that I was BP. I know I am a KO because I can see mistakes I

make and try REALLY hard to change. Nada could care less about the

havoc she creates. Nothing is her fault.

>>

Edith here:

Very good!! Hania's " Seeing-Thru-BPs Goggles " (patent pending) are

working just fine.

The diagnosis of a mental illness is made using the DSM. BPD is a DSM,

Axis II mental disorder (ie, an *emotional* instability, personality

disorder).

Everyone has some borderline traits but when the number of BPD traits is

equal to 5 or more (of the 9 traits), are long-lasting and are INTENSE

(thus interfering with interpersonal relationships), then the person

gets the diagnosis.

People with personality disorders have cognitive distortions. For them,

" feelings create facts " (SWOE, p 56). They are 'selfish' (ie, like a

small child, the world revolves around them), they create chaos, lack

empathy, and use ego defenses (ie, projection, denial, rationalization,

splitting) to protect their tiny and/or fragmented Self from pain. In

order to control the world they live in, BPs tend to over-control --

using FOG (Fear, Obligation, and Guilt) and they tend to 'lose control'

when challenged (ie, emotionally stressed). That's when the " witch "

appears.

Our nadas are all different but yet there are enough common traits that

it is easy to recognize that they all attended the same Nada School. Its

like some got higher grades than others. LOL

BPs need to see their Self as perfect. And, because nadas/fadas need to

see their Self as perfect, they dump their garbage on their significant

other, their KOs, etc. Thus we KOs ended up with problems of low

self-esteem, wanting to fade into the woodwork, etc etc etc.

Also, we KOs learned some BP traits from our BP parent. They were one of

our most important role models. Thus we KOs have " fleas " . Fleas are

*learned* BP ways of seeing and reacting to the world (ie, using

projection, denial, splitting, etc). Because these ways of seeing and

reacting to the world were learned, they can be un-learned -- once we

KOs can recognize them.

KOs have empathy, are self-sacrificing (not 'selfish'), and have been

controlled by FOG (Fear, Obligation, and Guilt) via the 'hooks' our

nadas implanted in our hearts before we ever learned to talk.

KOs didn't cause their nadas/fadas BPD.

KOs can't fix the nadas/fadas BPD.

KOs can't cure their nadas/fadas BPD.

And, in fact, none of this shxt was ever our fault.

NEVER let a person who is mentally ill define who *you* are.

Cheers,

- Edith

Enjoying Independence Day with my daughter.

[Guest guest]

Thank you, I had forgotten about the all bad splitting. Yes my nada was

split all bad. And yes she does blame everyone else. I got so mad at her

the other day. She was talking about her therapist and somehow it came up

about children taking care of their parents. And my mom related to me that

her therapist at one point said " What do your kids do to take care of you!? "

The implication being that we weren't fullfilling our roles as kids. What

bullsh*t has she been telling this woman to make us seem like uncaring

slugs?

A while ago she was talking to my brother on the phone about the mold

growing on her carpet. For those of you who don't know, my nada never

cleans house. I mean NEVER. And her husband is some kind of strange

person who lives with it. Her house is FILTHY, NASTY. Not clutter, but

dirt. Her dogs weren't housebroken so there would be dog poop on the floor

that never got cleaned up. Don't get me started. But anyway, my brother

told her he didn't want to hear about it, he had enough to worry about with

her house. Her reply was, well if you are worried why don't you come down

and clean it up.

This is a woman who plays tennis 1-3 times a week, so she is not

incapacitated. She uses every spare dime to go buy books or clothes. She

has gone through 3 trust fund each worth app. 1/4 million dollars, so now

she is broke most of the time. She has charged all her credit cards up,

claimed bankruptcy, and charged credit cards up again. None of these trust

funds went towards her kids. We all put ourselves through college with

scholarships and loans. Growing up we were always the kids who wore old,

hand me down clothes and didn't have enough money to go on school trips,

etc. And we should support her financially and clean her house. AAAAAGH!

Re: Personality Disorder Definition

, there's one HUGE difference between a BP and a KO. BPs blame

everyone else for their problems, never themselves. KOs, on the other

hand, blame THEMSELVES for everything, including nada's insanity and her

problems.

BPs can be KOs too, which gets mighty complicated. In the book,

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " , it says that all-good children

don't usually become BP, whereas the all-bad child usually does. Was

your nada split all-bad by your g'nada? If so, your nada was a KO, who

became a BP probably because of the all-bad splitting.

This is just my opinion, but it seems that once someone becomes BP, the

" blame everyone else " syndrome takes over and submerges the KO's

self-blame-ness. The core characteristic of a BP is " blaming

others " .

SmileS!

Carol

Stafford wrote:

> ...... what differentiates a BP from a KO who manifests fleas that

> cause discomfort and impair a persons ability to function? For example

my

> nada's nada was the grandnada of all. I would classify my nada as a

> waif/queen, but I would classify my grandnada as a queen/witch. So

could my

> mom be a KO with unrecognized fleas or because she never acknowledges

her

> fleas, does that make her a KO?

[Guest guest]

> > My mom is still blaming all others for her attitude and lack

> > of responsibility. She is a classic " witch. " I refuse to let her

> > attack me, mine or anyone else I love. I believe in being

> > accountable for your actions and taking responsibility for them as

> > well. And I don't let anyone push me into negative, bp, vampire

> > relationships!

> You go, girl! Woo! Hoo!

>

> Smiles!

> Carol

Thanks for the cheers!

[Guest guest]

Thanks ...very helpful~

Hugs,

Debbie