Help Wanted Ad for Northwest Houston Family

[Guest guest]

My “Help Wanted” Ad ...

When I put this ad in the paper:

Looking for a caregiver for a 13 year-old male who has an Autism Spectrum

Disorder. Must be energetic and knowledgeable about unique needs of individuals

with autism and how to work with them using techniques such as Applied Behavior

Analysis. Must know sign language and be available to work flexible hours.

Must understand the GFCF diet and know how to prepare meals accordingly.

Interested and Qualified applicants please call for an interview.

This is what I really mean:

Worn out mother and caregiver of a precious child named , who is 13 and

has Autism, is seeking some much needed attendant care for him and respite for

me. My son’s name came up on the CLASS waiting list after nine years of

waiting, and the words of help to me were, “If you know of anyone we can hire

for you, please refer them to us.”

(Duh, isn’t that THEIR job?)

So, my ad continues on…..

You must have the energy of, well, the Energizer Bunny, the speed of an

Olympic sprinter should my child dart out of your reach and head for the

highway, and the strength of a Bodybuilder for when you finally catch him and

have to carry him back because he’s now having a meltdown and won’t follow you

on his own. If this happens to occur in the grocery store – you must also have

the self-confidence to not be bothered by the stares, sneers, and jeers you will

receive from those gawking at you and not bothering to help you. You must also

be prepared with the proper paperwork in case someone thinks you are trying to

kidnap the child, and so call the police on you. If that does happen – you

might also have some antidote to pepper spray on you because in some instances –

the police may take my child’s actions as aggressive and a danger to society –

and therby conclude that pepper-spray, a good tasering, or handcuffs – is the

proper response.

It’s taken me 13 years, thousands of hours researching, hundreds of

conferences/workshops attended, to understand autism and my son, and his unique

needs, – but you must be trained and ready to go for your first day working with

him as I dart out the door. You must be ready and able to analyze all aspects

of his behavior – so that you can understand what to do in response to any given

situation. He’s been in school for 10 years and mind you his teachers aren’t

even trained to do that, – but you must be.

My son is non-verbal and cannot write to express his needs and wants; and so

you must know sign language and be a mind-reader. Not the typical sign

language, but his sign language. You must be able to interpret his

approximations for the things he wants and you must be able to anticipate his

needs, what he would like to do but can’t express. You must be able to “read”

his body language to know when he’s hurt and what’s hurting him, and what to do

about it.

And because my son is non-verbal and cannot read or write or really defend

himself; and you might not really be who you portray yourself to be, --- you

must have the forewarning that in this day and age of rampant abuse to

individuals who have disabilities, and thanks to technology, - that my house is

bugged, and when you take my child for an outing in the community, you could

find yourself on candid camera.

My son is on a very strict Gluten Free/Caesin Free Diet (GFCF for short) and

so you must know how to cook, what you can cook, and what restaurants in the

community serve what my child can even eat. You must watch him like a hawk so

that he doesn’t swipe a roll off someone’s plate and eat it in a split-second.

Because if that happens, and it will happen no matter how careful you are, you

will be in the dilemma of having to change a 13-year old young adult in a public

restroom. For your information, public restrooms do not have changing tables

big enough for 13 year-olds, family restrooms, nor is the floor even somewhat

sanitary should you have to lay him down to clean him properly. If you are

lucky – the stall for wheel-chair accommodations might be big enough for you

both to maneuver – but there is no running water or paper towels in there to

assist with the task. Sometimes you may get in there and find there’s not even

toilet paper. Which is a real dilemma

because you didn’t think this would happen and so left the suitcase of

toileting supplies and change of clothes in the car. Also – know what your

choice will be when faced with the decision of “Do I as a female take my adult

son in the girls room – or do I as a female take him to the men’s room?

You need to be adult enough to know when to push him and prod him to do things

on his own, but yet childlike enough to know when it’s time to smile, laugh, and

wrestle. I need you to be warm and tender, stern and rock-solid.

And since you won’t be earning enough to pay for health insurance, please come

to work in full football gear with bacteria-guard. You will be pinched or bit,

and sneezed on. That helmet and those pads will come in handy if my son is

having a sensory meltdown that is beyond his control…. If you are close enough

and aren’t adequately protected, you will receive a head-butt or knee or elbow

in the most sensitive places.

Above all I need you to be responsible. When I’ve scheduled you to come on

Friday night at 5pm, I expect you to be there Friday night at 4:45pm. Don’t

think that it’s “no big deal” to cancel on me at the last minute because you

have been given tickets to a concert or something. It IS a big deal to me.

During the week I’ve probably changed my child’s bed sheets 3 times a night due

to accidents, or have had to leave a full grocery cart at the check-out or any

number of daily challenges that occur. I’ve most likely fought with insurance,

schools, and society’s ignorance. I have been looking forward to Friday night,

each day of the week, for those precious few hours of respite. I’m not just

going out for a bon-bon or to Starbucks for socializing. I’m going to my older

son’s swim meet with my husband. So that for once we can BOTH be somewhere, and

do something, together. So that we can BOTH be parents to our other son who

needs our attention now and then too. So

know that when Friday night comes – YOU are the knight in shining armor

rescuing us from a weary week.

Now while all these duties seem daunting and you think that only a saint could

do all that, know that I’ve been doing it for 13 years now. Minus the pay,

benefits, thanks, or time off that you will get. So along those lines, I do

need you to be somewhat of a saint. I need you to have the kindness,

compassion, and patience of Mother . I need you to have the morals of

the Messiah. While I don’t expect you to view my child as your child – I do

expect you to understand just how I feel about my child. I love him with every

fiber of my being. I consider it a blessing to call him my child. An honor to

be entrusted to care for him. A priviledge to be slobbered on, sneezed on, and

sometimes even pooped on. I consider it a never-ending tug of war between

wanting to hold and hug my child – and at the same time wanting a break from my

child.

Most of all, I consider it my duty to do all I can to uphold his dignity in

all scenarios and situations. This, I DO expect you to do the same.

Lastly, you will need to do all of that with the pay of some teenager who

flips burgers at Mcs…..

So, if you are still interested and think you might be qualified, please call

me for an interview……

~~~~~~~~~~

By M. Guppy – MGuppy@...

Who is seriously taking applications for an attendant care provider…..

M. Guppy

Contact me to order the 2007 Autism Awareness Calendar for Texas!

Texas Autism Advocacy: www.TexasAutismAdvocacy.org

" There are some aspects of a person's life that we have no right to

compromise. We cannot negotiate the size of an institution. No one should live

in one. We cannot debate who should get an inclusive education. Everyone

should. We cannot determine who does and who does not get the right to make

their own choices and forge their own futures. All must. "