Protecting my sons from cruelty

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Protecting my sons from cruelty

By Diane

One evening in October, I took my 8-year old, Theo, to the SuperTarget in Apex.

He had been a good boy that day, and I figured he would enjoy an outing. We got

our groceries and then headed to the toy section on the other side of the store.

When we hit the main aisle in the back of the store, Theo made a sudden turn

away from me so he could run his hand along the shelves, which he sometimes

likes to do. This move landed him in the middle of a mother and three children.

The mother was talking to one of her children, and Theo squeezed right between

them.

The mother stopped mid-sentence and stared at Theo with an expression of

contempt. She continued to stare at him for several seconds as he walked away,

and then said, her voice dripping with disdain, " He must be retarded. "

It wasn't her words that shook me so much as the way she said them. As if having

a mental disability made him less than human.

I couldn't explain to her in that moment how far he had come. That he was

autistic and had battled severe anxiety to become a sweet kid, but that he

didn't understand personal space. That he had faced more struggles in his eight

years than most people do in a lifetime. That he had worked hard, and he

deserved respect.

She and I exchanged a few nasty comments while Theo walked on. As I turned to

leave, I said, " I hope your children don't turn out as obnoxious as you are. "

But " obnoxious " was the wrong word. What I truly hoped was that her children

would not grow up to be so unkind, so judgmental and so ready to use someone's

challenges to make themselves feel superior.

Although this woman's behavior was certainly the ugliest I've encountered, we do

get a lot of " What is wrong with that kid? " looks, and most of the time, my

husband and I ignore them. Heck, we know our kids can be weird.

I'm sure many people have judged me as a mother when I do nothing to stop their

odd behavior. My boys don't act like regular kids because they're not regular

kids, and I refuse to spend my days constantly correcting them or training them

like puppies. I respect them too much for that.

Thankfully, for every ugly person my family has encountered, we've met a dozen

wonderful souls.

People like Wall of Wake County Human Services, who went to the mat a

number of times for our family. Or the folks at Avenue Church of Christ,

who were so loving to the boys when we attended services there. (If you have a

child with a disability, go to Avenue's Special Needs Carnival this

Saturday. It's a wonderful event.) And then there are all those strangers, both

adults and children, who are simply kind and understanding - a small, yet

tremendous thing.

My husband and I won't always be there to protect the boys, and they will

encounter people - perhaps like the children of that woman in SuperTarget - who

will try to belittle and abuse them. My greatest hope is that the many kind,

good-hearted people of this world will stand up to protect and defend my sons

when I cannot.

And if even one parent reads this and takes a minute to talk to his or her

children about the importance of respecting people who are different, then we've

both made the world a little better, haven't we?