4 years out

[Guest guest]

Okay, I havent posted in a while and I have been indecisive about

posting this. But here goes.

I have gained, and gained. I am still wearing the same clothes, but

am feeling really huge again-at least 335 lbs worth. I am up from

last year and am going to see Dr K next month for my yearly

checkup. I have dreaded it and put it off long enough. I put on 10

lbs this last year that added to the 10 lbs that I put on the 2

years before- well you can do the math. Granted, if I keep this up

it will take 15 years to put all my weight back on, but I am still

worried. I have given up bread and sugar entirely for the last 4

weeks and havent lost anything. I am going to start walking again

when the weather is better, and maybe that will help.

My labs came back. My protien is low and according to my iron

levels I should be dead. I feel like I am full of lead. I dont

have any energy, and I dont have the joy of life I have been feeling

the last 4 years.

I have been taking all my supplements daily. I still drink my

protien shakes in the morning, even tho I have been told I dont need

to. I enjoy them. I eat protien 1st. But have tried to eat

a " normal " variety of foods beginning last July when everyone was

talking about eating normal and not needing as much protien etc.

(even Dr K at one of the meetings.) But I am going back to eating

like a brand new DS'r. I felt better then.

I have looked up online for iron rich foods, and will begin them

today. I do not want to take pills (but will probably have to after

I see Dr K). I do not want to mess with my bowel issues. They are

painful enough as it is.

I am not looking for any answers here, just wanted to share, and I

guess whinge a little.

I am just tired. Fat. And sick of it all.

there , I said it out loud.

I love you guys. thanks for letting me get that off my chest (which

by the way is still nonexistant).

Sharon in Onyx

who would still do this again in a heartbeat.