We are less willing to let boys be boys in classrooms

[Guest guest]

http://blogs.ajc.com/get-schooled-blog/2010/01/25/we-are-less-willing-to-let-boy\

s-be-boys-in-classrooms-today/?cxntfid=blogs_get_schooled_blog

We are less willing to let boys be boys in classrooms

10:38 am January 25, 2010, by Maureen Downey

Many parents worry that their boisterous 4-year-old son will never be able to

sit still and focus on algebra. Others fret that their aggressive kindergarten

toy thrower will never have friends.

Some fear that their toddler son's refusal to make eye contact or engage

playmates indicates Asperger Syndrome.

Now, a noted behavioral psychologist advises those parents to relax. Such

behaviors are a normal part of boyhood and will typically fade over time in most

children.

Rao, co-author of the new book " The Way of Boys: Raising Healthy Boys in

a Challenging and Complex World, " wishes everyone would take a deep breath, slow

down and realize that boys follow a rocky development path that may include

troublesome behaviors.

" Most boys will grow up healthy, " he says. " When parents are too worried, they

jump to conclusions that something serious may be wrong and focus exclusively on

problems. "

Today, normal developmental phases can be misread as disorders by classroom

teachers. Then, their inexpert diagnoses are too quickly confirmed by

pediatricians in 15-minute office visits.

Parents leave the doctor with a prescription in their hand and a label on their

child.

As a longtime practicing psychologist, Rao says the number of Attention Deficit

Hyperactivity Disorder diagnoses has nearly quadrupled over a 10-year period.

" We used to miss a lot of learning problems in boys years ago, " says Rao. " But

now we are looking so aggressively for them and we are looking earlier and

earlier. "

The problem, he says, is that reliable assessments are difficult in boys younger

than 6 or 7. That's why Rao recommends teachers, pediatricians and parents

delve deeper and wait longer before applying labels and adopting such

interventions as special education services, medications or class pull-outs for

young boys.

The checklist for disorders — impulsivity, delays in socializing and language,

resistance to eye contact, problems in transitions, extreme shyness, sudden fits

— can also be a checklist of temporary development phases and setbacks, cautions

Rao.

" Rather than rushing into a program to help troublesome behaviors, many boys

benefit from a wait-and-see approach. "

Over his career, Rao has seen less tolerance of the little boy who can't sit

still or who is overly aggressive. Boys, for example, are expelled 4.5 times

more often than girls in preschools — a rate that exceeds even high school

expulsions.

This early pressure on boys to conform, a lack of free play and a surge in

structured activities could explain why so many 23-year-olds are living in their

parents' basement.

" One could make the case that pushing their development so fast is leaving boys

burned out and exhausted, " he says.

His solutions are basic; don't push boys into competitive sports where dropping

the ball brings not only personal disappointment but the disdain of teammates.

Instead, Rao advocates that parents let boys try individual sports, such as

martial arts, tennis or swimming.

Give high-energy boys a chance to release energy by letting them run around the

house or out in the yard before school. In class, restore recess and give young

kids 10-minute stretch and walk-around breaks every hour.

Rao endorses single-gender classes, saying new research from Florida suggests

that boys benefit from it. Girls, he says, showed only a slight benefit from

single-gender classes.

He also wishes there were more male teachers in schools, saying they understand

restless boys and that boys often learn differently than girls.

" Girls use more words. They are heavy on reading and early literacy and more

social cooperation, " he says. The boy brain is wired for motor skill development

and spatial tasks, and boys learn more by touching and exploration. (There are

exceptions, he says, describing himself as a compliant learner eager to do what

the teacher wanted.)

Today's classroom is better suited for the ways girls learn, says Rao. " When you

promote all this assessment and increasing standardization, you narrow the way

you are going to teach kids, eclipsing the ways that boys learn better. You go

to much less hands-on and manipulation of objects and to more sit down and

lectures. "

Rao concedes that it's possible many boys he treated would have outgrown their

extreme shyness or belligerence without his assistance, but their parents were

desperate for help.

" Statistically speaking, most of them would have done fine, but their moms were

anxious and worried, " he says. " My role was to help them get through it so they

were not suspecting that everything their sons did was a problem and then

creating self-fulfilling prophecies. "