Guest guest Posted November 17, 2002 Report Share Posted November 17, 2002 I am glad for too wendy, My mom tried to pull the same thing at a family reunion this summer..Everyone saw thru her ..It was such great validation... memorial Hi Group, My family and I went to my uncles memorial last night. I really didn't expect nada to be there, but there she was. And (sigh) in typical nada fashion, looking for attention. " my daughter won't talk to me, she has poisoned her children against me, she won't tell me what's wrong " The most fascinating thing for me was how the family acted with her. Other uncles were telling me how great my dad was as long as she wasn't around. Some validation! My daughter (the eldest) got up in front of the family and talked about her uncle, many there didn't know how close we had been with him, he was such a hermit.She shared her memories and there were family members who were really moved, I could hear sniffing going on, me included. She said that while she was up there, she could see nada staring at me the whole time. In a glazed over sort of stare. Gave me the creeps when she told me. I 'm glad I went, I met family I haven't seen in 20 years or more and reconnected with those I had been close to . I'm gonna miss that " crotchety ol' guy! " Warm thoughts to all, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2002 Report Share Posted November 17, 2002 oh wendy...i am so sorry for your loss...but rejoicing with you for the validation. sounds like your foo (atleast some of them) might actually HAVE a clue!!! mine does too. my nada is getting to point where she cannot hide it...not from family...and not from strangers. anyway, i am glad things went okay in spite of nada... laura > Hi Group, > My family and I went to my uncles memorial last night. I really didn't expect nada to be there, but there she was. And (sigh) in typical nada fashion, looking for attention. " my daughter won't talk to me, she has poisoned her children against me, she won't tell me what's wrong " > The most fascinating thing for me was how the family acted with her. Other uncles were telling me how great my dad was as long as she wasn't around. Some validation! > My daughter (the eldest) got up in front of the family and talked about her uncle, many there didn't know how close we had been with him, he was such a hermit.She shared her memories and there were family members who were really moved, I could hear sniffing going on, me included. > She said that while she was up there, she could see nada staring at me the whole time. In a glazed over sort of stare. Gave me the creeps when she told me. > I 'm glad I went, I met family I haven't seen in 20 years or more and reconnected with those I had been close to . I'm gonna miss that " crotchety ol' guy! " > Warm thoughts to all, > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2002 Report Share Posted November 17, 2002 Gosh, ! This brings back memories......... 1998, when I had no clue what lay ahead of me just a few short months hence (huge blowup and ultimately divorce). Hubby's mother had just passed away from leukemia. Mother wanted to attend the funeral, which was no problem. Things between mother and I had gotten better, and I reveled in what I thought was the reason: my renewed efforts at being patient, understanding, diligent, responsive, attentive, blah blah blah. Things were looking up (I thought). Not great, but much improved, know what I mean? The funeral consisted of a graveside service and a luncheon afterwards at a friend's home. We arrived at the cemetery with mother, and there were people there I hadn't seen in over 20 years, most of whom mother didn't even know. Most were gathered in one area, but we began with hubby's brother, who was off in a different place with a few other people. Mother couldn't just give him her condolences. She began weeping in disbelief over the death and wouldn't stop. Brother-in-law (bil) tried to condole mother, but she kept on. I got very embarrassed. Finally, I put my arm around her shoulder and said it was okay, but we needed to pull it together for bil who was in need of some support himself. She composed herself, and bil slowly drifted off, as did the few others who were still lingering. Off in the distance were the remaining people who were visiting and getting reacquainted. I wanted so much to join them, but I didn't dare, because I feared mother would fall apart again. I stayed with mother in the distance the remaining time. I had forgotten about this, but boy, it's yet another piece of this mysterious puzzle called BPD. Mother isn't a drama queen by any stretch of the imagination, but she manages to be center stage in her quiet sly way. Everything is about HER, even the death of my mother-in-law. Three months later, when I thought things were going reasonably well with mother, she suddenly and unexpectedly turned on me with accusations of serious fraud, and nothing I said mattered. Five months later, we had a huge blowup, and I've never set eyes on her since. Ultimately I was disowned and disinherited. Later I learned she had been spreading a distortion campaign against me with family and friends going as far back as BEFORE the funeral, when I thought things were going fairly well. This nada-thing is a losing proposition. There's no winning back the hearts of our nadas. But..... we can win back our own hearts! That's the biggest prize of all. And it took all this s... for me to FINALLY GET IT. There IS life after our nadas. Grand glorious life! Mother is still alive at 80, and she has nothing except herself and a few " things " . She's alienated everyone she ever loved (loved?) or cared about. By her choice alone, she's in an upscale retirement home where she'll be well taken care of for the rest of her life (fortunately she didn't squander ALL of her financial resources, and fortunately for me I no longer have to worry about her safety and well-being). She has nothing but her impeding death to look forward to, whenever and however it will come. In mother's eternal battle to avoid abandonment, she succeeded in living in ultimate abandonment. She has no one but herself to blame. She doesn't see that, though. She never will. She will take her demons to the grave with her, along with all the secrets that underlie this illness of hers called BPD. I wish it weren't so, but it is. I accept it. SmileS! Carol wendy keetch wrote: > My family and I went to my uncles memorial last night. I really > didn't expect nada to be there, but there she was. And (sigh) in > typical nada fashion, looking for attention. " my daughter won't > talk to me, she has poisoned her children against me, she won't > tell me what's wrong " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2002 Report Share Posted November 17, 2002 , I am sorry about your uncle. I'm glad you got validation from the FOO about nada. Hania memorial Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2002 Report Share Posted November 17, 2002 , Sorry for your loss. It must have been nice to get some validation from other family memebers about your nada. I know how yucky that feels to be in the same general area/room as someone who is hostile towards you, it isn't fun. I usually make myself sick to my stomach over it.. I'm glad it went OK, even though she stared at you (creepy enough.) > Hi Group, > My family and I went to my uncles memorial last night. I really didn't expect nada to be there, but there she was. And (sigh) in typical nada fashion, looking for attention. " my daughter won't talk to me, she has poisoned her children against me, she won't tell me what's wrong " > The most fascinating thing for me was how the family acted with her. Other uncles were telling me how great my dad was as long as she wasn't around. Some validation! > My daughter (the eldest) got up in front of the family and talked about her uncle, many there didn't know how close we had been with him, he was such a hermit.She shared her memories and there were family members who were really moved, I could hear sniffing going on, me included. > She said that while she was up there, she could see nada staring at me the whole time. In a glazed over sort of stare. Gave me the creeps when she told me. > I 'm glad I went, I met family I haven't seen in 20 years or more and reconnected with those I had been close to . I'm gonna miss that " crotchety ol' guy! " > Warm thoughts to all, > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2002 Report Share Posted November 19, 2002 Wow .... Your reports are always so inspiring.... Kathleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2009 Report Share Posted August 31, 2009 I like that idea, a memorial for those that have lost their lives to Hep C , It is certainly needed, way too many lives lost.. Hang in, ..take care of you.. From: Gray <ggray1956yahoo (DOT) com>Subject: [Hepatitis_C_ Central] MedicationsTo: Hepatitis_C_ Central@yahoogro ups.comDate: Saturday, August 29, 2009, 8:22 AM Hi Everyone... Is anyone taking Pristiq, Abilify or Pristiq with Abilify for the physical and emotional symptoms of this disease. I would appreciate any input on these or other medications that are helping you with the physical and emotional issues of this disease on or off treatment. Thanks... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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