Re: new/ anyone in similar situation?

[Guest guest]

My situation is similar. I have a 16 yr. old daughter, with contamination type

OCD. She'll have to take the college admission tests & start college planning. I

too, can't picture my daughter functioning independently in college. My daughter

does well in school, except her grades dropped this past yr., due largely to

OCD. She started doing poorly on all tests mid yr. - a new facet of anxiety

perhaps? The dr. is working with her on OCD this summer. So far, she hasn't

tried drugs, but they may be needed if she doesn't improve enough over the

summer. Anxiety is always lower in the summer.

Re: the new therapist, you may want to make sure the therapist will do CBT/ERP

(cognitive behavioral training/exposure response prevention) therapy. That has

worked for us in the past - so long as my daughter will do the exposures and do

them properly. You should see positive changes if the therapy is working. In my

case this means my daughter touches more things, avoids fewer things, has

reduced or eliminated rituals, etc. I see some improvement now, but the OCD

certainly is not at a good level yet.

I also am working on having my daughter do more chores & self sufficient type

tasks over the summer, to somewhat prepare her for an independent life. (i.e.,

cooking, cleaning, laundry, money handling, etc.)

Good luck to you & your daughter. Hope the new therapist works well for you.

Dot

>

> I'm new to this group, so glad to find it!

> My 17 y.o. daughter has OCD - mostly worries about germs/contamination, social

anxiety. She has been on Zoloft for close to 2 years now.

[Guest guest]

Forgot to add, my daughter also has social anxiety. I really hope that can

improve this next year.

We had a hard time finding a therapist who specialized in OCD in children/teens.

My daughter has had to miss school for appts., but so far the absences have been

manageable. It's worth it to find a really good therapist who knows what to do &

how to do it. Hope your new therapist knows their stuff & really helps your

daughter.

Dot

>

> I'm new to this group, so glad to find it!

> My 17 y.o. daughter has OCD - mostly worries about germs/contamination, social

anxiety. She has been on Zoloft for close to 2 years now.

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son with OCD just recently graduated from high school and will be attending

college this fall. There were definitely times in the last few years that I

never dreamed we would get this far. For us, the trick was ERP - we would take

his Christmas vacations, spring breaks, and summer vacations and hit the ERP

hard. We would have what we would eventually call our " sessions " each lasting

about two weeks. This way, we didn't have to stress him out too much during the

school year. During these sessions, we would doing many, different types of

exposures and did them often. It was hard and to get him to even agree to doing

these exposures. So, I would use cash rewards. To me, doing ERP is just about

the hardest work any one could do - so why not pay him to do it? For us this

approach worked. Unfortunately, we did the sessions on our own because we had a

hard time finding appropriate help in our area. It's not something that can

work for all, but it did for us. Other thoughts about college: Can you daughter

attend one that is close by. For my son, I encouraged him to one that is just

an hour away (Also worked for us because he got a scholarshp to go there). We

also decided not to have him stay in the dorms and found a way around that. The

good news for you is that you still have time to work these things out. I would

advice you to hit the ERP as hard as you can tolerate.

Hope this helps.

Joni

> I have many more questions, but I better take it easy for now.

> Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, welcome to our group!

So far as the therapist (we found one who had Saturday appts too), just make

sure he/she is saying the right things: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).

It may take a couple " get acquainted " sessions, more talk, but hopefully the

first session they will mention CBT/ERP, and hopefully your daughter will like

them.

Do you think the social anxiety is just from her germs fear, or sort of separate

(i.e., she'd have it without OCD)?

My son with OCD is 22 now. Finishing up at UNC-Chapel Hill this summer. Will

have a BS in Biology.

I had concerns like you, partly the OCD and partly he also has Aspergers, so

social isn't easy for him. He went the first 2 years to our community college

and then transferred to UNC-CH. The local college was really great for him to

attend first, get used to it all, plus he joined a couple clubs and liked them,

classes/club size smaller, campus smaller, etc. For me, and him too really,

also no huge college loans those first 2 years!

Do you think your daughter would attend a college closer to home?

Glad you found our group,

single mom, 3 sons

, 22, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

>

> I'm new to this group, so glad to find it!

> My 17 y.o. daughter has OCD - mostly worries about germs/contamination, social

anxiety. She has been on Zoloft for close to 2 years now. Did some therapy for a

while, then we quit - the therapist would stand us up - most frustrating! Didn't

seem like therapy was doing much good. DD is very smart and does very well in

school. She will be a senior this coming year. We are considering colleges and

trying to make some plans. At this point, I just can't picture her on her own,

in an out-of town college. I just can't see her in a dorm, sharing anything with

anyone.

>

[Guest guest]

One thing to think about when looking at colleges is the disability services. My

dd was able to get a single room with a private bathroom through these services.

This has helped her a lot. --Stormy

Sent from my iPad

On Jun 27, 2011, at 3:27 PM, " itsallrelativek "

wrote:

> At this point, I just can't picture her on her own, in an out-of town college.

I just can't see her in a dorm, sharing anything with anyone.

> Last school year she started off really well, but has ended badly (OCD-wise

that is).

[Guest guest]

Thanks for posting about this. I would not have thought to check on disability

services like that. I think my daughter would fare better in a smaller setting,

but she'd likely want to go out of state for that. Here we have a giant state

university and a community/tech type college.

Dot

>

> One thing to think about when looking at colleges is the disability services.

My dd was able to get a single room with a private bathroom through these

services. This has helped her a lot. --Stormy

>

> Sent from my iPad

>

[Guest guest]

Hello, and welcome to the group! I have a 17-year-old daughter with OCD, too --

in her case it's pure obsessional OCD. Unfortunately, she is not doing well

academically right now, so college is not yet on the table. :-)

It sounds like you've gotten great advice. Disability services can be a great

resource -- and I suspect a private room and bathroom will be essential if she

decides to live on campus. They may also have professionals to support her with

the social aspects of college, as she gradually overcomes her social anxiety.

I also think living at home, and attending community college, for a few years is

a good option, as long as the community college has courses that are interesting

and challenging enough for her.

I hope you're also able to find a new therapist, someone who will be reliable

and can do CBT/ERP with your daughter while supporting her as she makes this

transition to college.

I look forward to getting updates from you --

Steph (in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley of Virginia)

>

> I'm new to this group, so glad to find it!

> My 17 y.o. daughter has OCD - mostly worries about germs/contamination, social

anxiety.

[Guest guest]

We found that what works best for my dd is both using disability services which

gave her the private room with private bathroom, but also going to a smallish,

private college that is within 30 minutes of our house. She comes home very

frequently, whenever she needs to. For those who have kids who are struggling in

high school, please don't give up. My dd was severely ill and missed 3 years of

high school. Now, she just finished her 2nd year of college and is thriving.

Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wed, June 29, 2011 8:17:03 AM

Subject: Re: new/ anyone in similar situation?

It sounds like you've gotten great advice. Disability services can be a great

resource -- and I suspect a private room and bathroom will be essential if she

decides to live on campus. They may also have professionals to support her with

the social aspects of college, as she gradually overcomes her social anxiety.

I also think living at home, and attending community college, for a few years is

a good option, as long as the community college has courses that are interesting

and challenging enough for her.

MARKETPLACE

Stay on top of your group activity without leaving the page you're on - Get the

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id= " misspell-4 " class= " mark " >lt</SPAN> & lt;/SPAN & gt;; & lt;SPAN id= " misspell-5 "

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Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest • Unsubscribe • Terms of Use

..

[Guest guest]

Very inspiring! Needed to hear it!

Bonnie

>

> We found that what works best for my dd is both using disability services

which

> gave her the private room with private bathroom, but also going to a smallish,

> private college that is within 30 minutes of our house. She comes home very

> frequently, whenever she needs to. For those who have kids who are struggling

in

> high school, please don't give up. My dd was severely ill and missed 3 years

of

> high school. Now, she just finished her 2nd year of college and is thriving.

> Stormy

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Wed, June 29, 2011 8:17:03 AM

> Subject: Re: new/ anyone in similar situation?

>

>

>

>

> It sounds like you've gotten great advice. Disability services can be a great

> resource -- and I suspect a private room and bathroom will be essential if she

> decides to live on campus. They may also have professionals to support her

with

> the social aspects of college, as she gradually overcomes her social anxiety.

>

> I also think living at home, and attending community college, for a few years

is

> a good option, as long as the community college has courses that are

interesting

> and challenging enough for her.

>

>

>

> MARKETPLACE

> Stay on top of your group activity without leaving the page you're on - Get

the

> Yahoo! Toolbar now. & amp;amp; & lt;SPAN id= " misspell-4 " class= " mark " & gt;<SPAN

> id= " misspell-4 " class= " mark " >lt</SPAN> & lt;/SPAN & gt;; & lt;SPAN id= " misspell-5 "

> class= " mark " & gt;<SPAN id= " misspell-5 " class= " mark " >img</SPAN> & lt;/SPAN & gt;

> width= " 1 " height= " 1 " alt= " " & amp;amp;gt;

>

>

> Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest • Unsubscribe • Terms of Use

> .

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

With community colleges, at least here, you can opt for the " college transfer "

classes that will carry over to the universities later for your degree. That's

what did. He knew he was going for a BS, science, since he wants

(wanted?) to get into medical research so chose from that. They have some type

of " form " to look at online that showed what the equivalent classes were (which

classes university would accept). We're in a rural/small county so would think

most do this. 's Japanese language class was actually one - and can't

think of the terminology now - where his teacher was a couple counties over, so

his class would watch/listen on video/computer. Also, in neighboring county,

their community college sounds great, they've got a lot more to offer in choices

to take there. Some from our county go there.

We also worked with the Disability office at our community college and got a 504

Plan set up for .

> It sounds like you've gotten great advice. Disability services can be a great

resource -- and I suspect a private room and bathroom will be essential if she

decides to live on campus. They may also have professionals to support her with

the social aspects of college, as she gradually overcomes her social anxiety.

>

> I also think living at home, and attending community college, for a few years

is a good option, as long as the community college has courses that are

interesting and challenging enough for her.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the reply, Dot. I'll certainly ask the therapist about the BCT and

ERP.

We are working on DD learning to drive this summer. She's already taken her

college tests and did fine. She also has a lot of social anxiety and doesn't

know how to 'talk' to people. I just keep picturing her in her apt all by

herself with no friends. Last college we visited she wouldn't touch the doors,

waited for us to open so she could sneak through. I blew up at her and said -

" how are you going to go to college if you can't open the doors?? "

Of course, she goes to high school and somehow manages. I wish there was a

better college within driving distance (that we could afford!)

Good luck to you too, hope things keep improving.

>

> My situation is similar. I have a 16 yr. old daughter, with contamination type

OCD. She'll have to take the college admission tests & start college planning. I

too, can't picture my daughter functioning independently in college. My daughter

does well in school, except

[Guest guest]

Joni, where did you learn to do ERP? Is there a specific book or something? I'd

be interested to know. Also, how did you get around the dorm rule that most

colleges have for freshmen? Please let me know. If she can't have her own dorm

room then we will have to get her an apt. Please please let me know more about

your ERP.

Thanks,

K

[Guest guest]

I've set up the first appt with therapist so that we (hubby and I) can talk to

her for a few minutes before the one-on-one session, and also talk to her for a

few minutes after the session. I intend to ask her what course of action she

suggests.

As for the social anxiety, I would say it's separate. She seems to have very low

confidence. Does a lot of " what if they think I'm an idiot? " , etc. She is also

not your typical teen girl - doesn't follow the crowd, dresses very modestly

(jeans and t-shirts, nothing tight or low cut), and likes to talk about physics

and science. Oh, she also has no romantic interests.

There is one college closer to home that's a possibility and if things don't get

better she may go there. It just pains me to see her possibly bypassing a better

college because of her OCD. She is such a smart girl, she is in the top 1% of

her class (last time she was ranked she was 4/475) She wants to study Physics

and Russian and visit Russia. She was scheduled to visit Russia last summer with

a school group but the trip was cancelled.

That gives me an idea - offer her cash towards a Russia trip for ERP sessions.

I'll have to think about that....

>

> Hi, welcome to our group!

>

> So far as the therapist (we found one who had Saturday appts too), just make

sure he/she is saying the right things: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).

>

> It may take a couple " get acquainted " sessions, more talk, but hopefully the

first session they will mention CBT/ERP, and hopefully your daughter will like

them.

>

> Do you think the social anxiety is just from her germs fear, or sort of

separate (i.e., she'd have it without OCD)?

>

> My son with OCD is 22 now. Finishing up at UNC-Chapel Hill this summer. Will

have a BS in Biology.

>

> I had concerns like you, partly the OCD and partly he also has Aspergers, so

social isn't easy for him. He went the first 2 years to our community college

and then transferred to UNC-CH. The local college was really great for him to

attend first, get used to it all, plus he joined a couple clubs and liked them,

classes/club size smaller, campus smaller, etc. For me, and him too really,

also no huge college loans those first 2 years!

>

> Do you think your daughter would attend a college closer to home?

>

> Glad you found our group,

>

>

> single mom, 3 sons

> , 22, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

[Guest guest]

Stormy - please give me detais on how you worked that. Technically, I don't

think she has been labeled OCD by her Dr. We've gotten her RX from her

pediatrician (Zoloft, which is as far as he'll go as a pediatrician, we tried),

and she's seen a counselor (LCW I believe).

Thanks and please send more info when you can!

>

> One thing to think about when looking at colleges is the disability services.

My dd was able to get a single room with a private bathroom through these

services. This has helped her a lot. --Stormy

>

> Sent from my iPad

[Guest guest]

Thanks Steph, I will certainly keep you all posted. It's sooo nice to 'talk' to

other people that 'get it'. On a personal note, when DD started acting odd, a

few years ago, I confided in my best friend and she basically told me that DD

was being a princess brat. I told her at the time - " you know, 11 year olds do

commit suicide, and I'm not going to ignore a potential problem " or something

like that. I've basically dumped that friendship. I even have some issues with

DH, as he still thinks she can outgrow this on her own... however he is being

supportive of my decision to pursue more therapy.

It would be the best for her to have a private room and bathroom in a dorm. That

way she wouldn't be so isolated (as opposed to an apt.)

The community college is about 10-15 minutes away (just a couple of miles past

her high school!), but the satellite college is about 30-45 minutes, which is

the way we would go is she has to stay local.

Oh, I've got 3 kids also; 17, 10, 7. I keep 'looking' to see if they may have

issues, but so far nothing has reared its ugly head. The other two are boys.

Thanks so much for your reply.

>

> Hello, and welcome to the group! I have a 17-year-old daughter with OCD, too

-- in her case it's pure obsessional OCD. Unfortunately, she is not doing well

academically right now, so college is not yet on the table. :-)

>

> It sounds like you've gotten great advice. Disability services can be a great

resource -- and I suspect a private room and bathroom will be essential if she

decides to live on campus. They may also have professionals to support her with

the social aspects of college, as she gradually overcomes her social anxiety.

>

[Guest guest]

that's awesome that your son has accomplished so much!

I'm totally intrigued now, with the possibility of being able to get her a

dorm/bathroom without sharing. I'm slightly familiar with the 504 plan (I work

part time at public schools), but need to get more information.

Isn't technology great?? Last year my daughter's best friend moved to another

state (and that is her only close friend, plus some acquaintance/friends) but

they skype every now and then, and even play against each other on the Wii. We

have DND (dungeons and dragons) play here at our house every so often, and her

best friend can participate via skype.

DD absolutely loathes the majority of the kids in her school. The school germs

are a big part of her problem. She is very serious about her school work and

can't stand all the typical high school silliness. The cross contamination is

fierce with things she brings home from school. None of it is allowed to enter

her room. The other day she freaked when I put a bag of hers on the same spot

that her backpack usually sits on.The community college, I fear, would just be

an extension of her school environment. Here is my big question - will her

disdain/phobia/fear of her high school germs transfer to college?? There won't

be so many 'idiots' (her term) in college, but they're still silly kids.....

>

> With community colleges, at least here, you can opt for the " college transfer "

classes that will carry over to the universities later for your degree. That's

what did. He knew he was going for a BS, science, since he wants

(wanted?) to get into medical research so chose from that. They have some type

of " form " to look at online that showed what the equivalent classes were (which

classes university would accept). We're in a rural/small county so would think

most do this. 's Japanese language class was actually one - and can't

think of the terminology now - where his teacher was a couple counties over, so

his class would watch/listen on video/computer. Also, in neighboring county,

their community college sounds great, they've got a lot more to offer in choices

to take there. Some from our county go there.

>

> We also worked with the Disability office at our community college and got a

504 Plan set up for .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I think that the dorm requirements differ for each university. The school where

my son decided to attended stated that if you lived within 30 miles then the

student could live at home. Since we live about 50 miles we had to find

something else. We ended buying a condominium (I think renting an apartment

would probably also work) and had my husband claim that he lived there. Each

university also has an application for non-dorm living that needs to be

completed. For us, I was surprised that it was relatively easy. In other

words, we filled out the form and that seemed to work. I would advise you to

find the application and see exactly what they want (ie any special

documentation).

We ended doing our own ERP, a situation I know isn't possible for all with OCD.

My son's obsessions centered primarily on sexual matters so we had that added

problem of a difficult topic. We just took it step by step - staring with

exposures that weren't too difficult and then working our way up. For example,

one our first exposures was to read and look at diagrams from textbooks that

were commonly used to teach human sexuality at a nearby university. Then, we

went from there. I wish I could explain more here, but it would take too long.

But, please feel free to contact me if you want to here more.

Even though the ERP was hard work, I'm glad we pushed through it. The more we

pushed back my son's OCD the more he could do (the better grades, the more

friends, and the less medication he needed to take). After what he had been

through with OCD and then,

ERP, college just doesn't look all that hard to him.

Hope this helps.

Joni

>

> Joni, where did you learn to do ERP? Is there a specific book or something?

I'd be interested to know. Also, how did you get around the dorm rule that most

colleges have for freshmen? Please let me know. If she can't have her own dorm

room then we will have to get her an apt. Please please let me know more about

your ERP.

[Guest guest]

It'll be interesting to see if your daughter's contamination issues are less in

college, hopefully less " idiots, " but probably will still be a problem. Hope

you can get some disability type 504 Plan accommodation and get her a single

room.

My son currently suffers " bad thoughts. " His OCD is the type called

scrupulosity. When his OCD started in 6th grade, it was more

rituals/compulsions and thus easier to see since he was constantly *having* to

do things, having to repeat stuff or getting stuck until he could get that " just

right " feeling. He avoided some things too, to avoid triggering his OCD and

possibly getting caught up in it/stuck. We got past all that, eventually, and

then later in high school this scrupulosity started, and though better now than

then, he still has the bothersome thoughts. He refuses meds but has somehow

managed. Oh he'll cover his mouth and mumble things, I've heard him melting

down occasionally in his room/shower, venting. But he won't talk about his OCD

anymore. I can ask some questions but he doesn't volunteer anything. SIGH!

Physics you said? Hard, from what (and others) say. He's done well in

some of the earlier classes but was lost in one this past year but managed to

finally STUDY and ended up okay with the final grade. HIS problem at university

is he finally got a social life, the classes were much harder, and he didn't

feel like studying. That great memory he has always had didn't make it easier

for him this time, for the first time in his life he really HAD to study. He

plans to go into medical research he says.

single mom, 3 sons

, 22, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

>

> that's awesome that your son has accomplished so much!

> I'm totally intrigued now, with the possibility of being able to get her a

dorm/bathroom without sharing. I'm slightly familiar with the 504 plan (I work

part time at public schools), but need to get more information.

> Isn't technology great?? Last year my daughter's best friend moved to another

state (and that is her only close friend, plus some acquaintance/friends) but

they skype every now and then, and even

[Guest guest]

P.S. Meant to add that 's OCD has affected him with his reading again

too. I think it sparks " bad thoughts " or something. So partly why he avoided

reading homework/studying.

>

> It'll be interesting to see if your daughter's contamination issues are less

in college, hopefully less " idiots, " but probably will still be a problem. Hope

you can get some disability type 504 Plan accommodation and get her a single

room.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good luck! The pictures you describe are exactly what I picture for my

daughter-sitting all alone somewhere, everywhere. My daughter has done the same

thing with doors and I've responded the same. How will she do X, when she can't

touch anything basic?

Hope things improve soon.

Dot

> >

> > My situation is similar. I have a 16 yr. old daughter, with contamination

type OCD. She'll have to take the college admission tests & start college

planning. I too, can't picture my daughter functioning independently in college.

My daughter does well in school, except

>

[Guest guest]

Our dr. told us that OCD would be wherever our daughter was, whichever school

setting we chose. That has proved to be the case with us, as there's always

something new that can cause contamination. If the OCD is handled, or

manageable, then my daughter can function anywhere. When it's not, she can't

function anywhere.

On the plus side, it sounds like your daughter has some good things going for

her. Good luck to you.

Dot

> >

> > With community colleges, at least here, you can opt for the " college

transfer " classes that will carry over to the universities later for your

degree. That's what did. He knew he was going for a BS, science, since

he wants (wanted?) to get into medical research so chose from that. They have

some type of " form " to look at online that showed what the equivalent classes

were (which classes university would accept). We're in a rural/small county so

would think most do this. 's Japanese language class was actually one -

and can't think of the terminology now - where his teacher was a couple counties

over, so his class would watch/listen on video/computer. Also, in neighboring

county, their community college sounds great, they've got a lot more to offer in

choices to take there. Some from our county go there.

> >

> > We also worked with the Disability office at our community college and got a

504 Plan set up for .

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Honestly, I am not sure how you would go about it if she doesn't officially have

a diagnosis. We had to show a lot of documentation for my dd to qualify for

disability services at her particular college. Each school may require different

documentation so it may depend on the school your dd is looking at. Usually you

can find out what is required online through each school's disability service,

but at the least I am sure it would require a doctor stating the diagnosis and

how your child is disabled by it and how this would impact her in a college

setting. Good luck, Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thu, June 30, 2011 8:00:39 AM

Subject: Re: new/ anyone in similar situation?

Stormy - please give me detais on how you worked that. Technically, I don't

think she has been labeled OCD by her Dr. We've gotten her RX from her

pediatrician (Zoloft, which is as far as he'll go as a pediatrician, we tried),

and she's seen a counselor (LCW I believe).

Thanks and please send more info when you can!

>

> One thing to think about when looking at colleges is the disability services.

>My dd was able to get a single room with a private bathroom through these

>services. This has helped her a lot. --Stormy

>

> Sent from my iPad

[Guest guest]

I am wondering if your dd has been evaluated for Aspergers? My dd was not

diagnosed until she had just turned 18 during a 60 day intensive inpatient

hospitalization. It had been missed for all the years before that, but when she

was inpatient being watched 24 hours a day they were able to easily pick it up.

My dd had severe social anxiety as well and that turned out to be part of the

Aspergers. I wonder if your dd's quirky side could be part of that too? Some

things you wrote about your dd remind me of mine. Mine is extremely bright as

well. Just something I wasn't sure if you had considered. Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thu, June 30, 2011 7:56:15 AM

Subject: Re: new/ anyone in similar situation?

I've set up the first appt with therapist so that we (hubby and I) can talk to

her for a few minutes before the one-on-one session, and also talk to her for a

few minutes after the session. I intend to ask her what course of action she

suggests.

As for the social anxiety, I would say it's separate. She seems to have very low

confidence. Does a lot of " what if they think I'm an idiot? " , etc. She is also

not your typical teen girl - doesn't follow the crowd, dresses very modestly

(jeans and t-shirts, nothing tight or low cut), and likes to talk about physics

and science. Oh, she also has no romantic interests.

There is one college closer to home that's a possibility and if things don't get

better she may go there. It just pains me to see her possibly bypassing a better

college because of her OCD. She is such a smart girl, she is in the top 1% of

her class (last time she was ranked she was 4/475) She wants to study Physics

and Russian and visit Russia. She was scheduled to visit Russia last summer with

a school group but the trip was cancelled.

That gives me an idea - offer her cash towards a Russia trip for ERP sessions.

I'll have to think about that....

[Guest guest]

That crossed my mind too, Stormy - Aspergers?

>

> I am wondering if your dd has been evaluated for Aspergers? My dd was not

> diagnosed until she had just turned 18 during a 60 day intensive inpatient

> hospitalization.

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Thu, June 30, 2011 7:56:15 AM

> Subject: Re: new/ anyone in similar situation?

>

She is such a smart girl, she is in the top 1% of

> her class (last time she was ranked she was 4/475) She wants to study Physics

> and Russian and visit Russia. She was scheduled to visit Russia last summer

with

> a school group but the trip was cancelled.

> That gives me an idea - offer her cash towards a Russia trip for ERP sessions.

> I'll have to think about that....

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

From the little reading I've done on Aspergers, I can see a couple of traits

that fit, but more more than not. She does care about what others think to the

point of being anxious about it - " how does my face look? " " do I look female? " .

She's not typical though, she will wear jeans and t-shirts all the time at

school, but nothing super tight (current fashion) or the usual logo clothes. No

low cut shirts (she's small on top, which causes her to ask if she looks

female). No short-shorts for her by her own choosing. I wouldn't say she's

clumsy. For her activity (I make my children do one activity each) she belongs

to a rock climbing team. During the school year they practice twice a week (at

the gym) for 3 hours each time. As I've said before, she is very smart. She does

very well in school. She does care about her appearance, though. She takes care

of her face (we've seen a dermatologist and he prescribes her meds) and it looks

nice. She is also very good at taking care of her teeth (never a cavity, spent 3

years in braces and did a great job of keeping them clean.)

One thing that hits a note, is her apparent inability to decipher human

behavior. " you sighed, are you mad at me? " , " the teacher hates me " , " they'll

think I'm an idiot " . Of course, she has the social anxiety. A couple of years

ago my husband decided to help her out by putting together a DND (dungeons and

dragons) group in our home for her. She had made one good friend in 7th grade -

the girl had just moved here from another state and I told her " oooh, you need

to make friends with her! " Well, luckily they hit it off and became good

friends to this day. Anyway, she invited her best friend to join DnD and then It

took her a while, but she finally approached another girl she had known since

7th grade and had done tae-kwon-do with for at least a year, to join. Sorry

about run-on sentences. Point is, she was so worried about what this friend

would think that it took her forever, and much much coaxing, to ask her to join

DnD. Eventually, a couple of other kids joined our DnD group. Sometimes she is

lively and talkative with the group, other times she is visibly anxious. She

locks her 1/2 bath so noone will use it. She asks the kids if they've washed

their hands after using the RR. Oftentimes she will take out her anxiety by

yelling at her little brothers. My husband is the leader of these DnD sessions,

and tries to reign her in. So, she can be social, but it seems difficult for

her. She is so lucky to have found her best friend, who seems to accept her as

she is, and shares the same disinterest in current fashion, dating, etc.

Although her friend has moved far away (from TX to TN) we have seen her twice in

the last year. They skype so her friend can do DND with the group.

This past year I worked with a lady who told me about her son (22, 23?) who just

last year was diagnosed with Aspergers. Also very bright like her. So it sounds

like Aspergers gets missed a lot. I will have to do more studying up on it.

Sorry to go on and on. It's nice to have people who can understand what I'm

talking about!

> >

> > I am wondering if your dd has been evaluated for Aspergers? My dd was not

> > diagnosed until she had just turned 18 during a 60 day intensive inpatient

> > hospitalization.

>

>