Pretty New Here

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I have a thirteen year old daughter with OCD. She has had some CBT, which I

think has helped. I think she has had it since she was about two. She always

had to redo everything until it was " right " and had extreme separation anxiety.

It has been difficult for our family, because she has had many outbursts and

gets very frusterated. She is a great student and super smart, but her anxiety

really made her first year in a new school very, very hard. She gets caught up

in her own head and I think misses important social cues sometimes. She is very

social, but I think the other kids sense her oddness and she has had a hard

time. She does great is situations that are familiar, but new people and places

are really hard for her.

Have a lot of you experienced intense fears in your children about the end of

the world coming? I know we live in a highly anxious age, but this fear has

been extreme. So is flying in airplanes. It seems whenever she has a scary

thought or imagines something bad happening it goes right into the fear center

and gets stuck there. I had to give her Xanax last time we flew, and it didn't

work all that well.

My husband suffers from depression and the combination in the house is so hard.

He can't take her outbursts and fears and he yells at her and she yells at him

and thinks he hates her. It is really hard.

Since identifying OCD and giving it a name, I think she is feeling a little

better, but there is a part of her that is very attached to it- she feels safe

and would rather think of it as a part of herself than a disorder. This makes

it hard to get her to work on it. It has calmed down to a level of livibility,

but she still has rituals that look odd and get in the way.

Thanks for listening. This feeling of being on my own here is overwhelming

sometimes.

CJ

[Guest guest]

Oh my gosh....this sounds like my life with my 12 year old. My husband also

yells at her alot and cannot take the outbursts that result from OCD. I tend to

try to keep her outbursts from affecting him to avoid arguments. I sometimes

worry about their relationship in the long term.

 

My daughters main issues are repeating herself over and over. She will come out

of her room to make random comments several times at bedtime to the point where

we are yelling at her to go to sleep. Then I feel guilty.She also gets

preoccupied with thoughts. Meds were helping alot but lately her symptoms have

increased again so I think its time for a med adjustment.

 

She also misses important social cues which cause alot of struggles with peer

relationships. I feel so bad sometimes for her. People do not understand OCD. It

is hard as an adult to deal with her sometimes so I can imagine why other kids

do not understand.

Subject: Pretty New Here

To:

Date: Wednesday, May 4, 2011, 9:05 AM

 

Hi,

I have a thirteen year old daughter with OCD. She has had some CBT, which I

think has helped. I think she has had it since she was about two. She always had

to redo everything until it was " right " and had extreme separation anxiety. It

has been difficult for our family, because she has had many outbursts and gets

very frusterated. She is a great student and super smart, but her anxiety really

made her first year in a new school very, very hard. She gets caught up in her

own head and I think misses important social cues sometimes. She is very social,

but I think the other kids sense her oddness and she has had a hard time. She

does great is situations that are familiar, but new people and places are really

hard for her.

Have a lot of you experienced intense fears in your children about the end of

the world coming? I know we live in a highly anxious age, but this fear has been

extreme. So is flying in airplanes. It seems whenever she has a scary thought or

imagines something bad happening it goes right into the fear center and gets

stuck there. I had to give her Xanax last time we flew, and it didn't work all

that well.

My husband suffers from depression and the combination in the house is so hard.

He can't take her outbursts and fears and he yells at her and she yells at him

and thinks he hates her. It is really hard.

Since identifying OCD and giving it a name, I think she is feeling a little

better, but there is a part of her that is very attached to it- she feels safe

and would rather think of it as a part of herself than a disorder. This makes it

hard to get her to work on it. It has calmed down to a level of livibility, but

she still has rituals that look odd and get in the way.

Thanks for listening. This feeling of being on my own here is overwhelming

sometimes.

CJ

[Guest guest]

Hi, CJ. I understand how you feel. So many of us do. I can only speak for

myself, but I think a lot of mothers bear most of the burden of our children's

OCD. We read the books, go to the counselor visits, take charge at home, etc.

It can be very frustrating for us and make us feel quite alone in the fight

against OCD.

That is why it is so important to take care of ourselves, and joining this group

is one of the things that does that. Here, you can ask questions or vent, and

at least a handful of women (I'm sure there are men in this group too, but I've

only interacted with women here) will write back, share their own experiences,

and lift you up. Here, you are a part of a team and not the Lone Ranger.

I hope you find the support you need here, like I did and still do, and never be

afraid to reach out to us.

Cheri

[Guest guest]

Hi CJ, welcome to our group! I have a son, 22, whose OCD began in 6th grade.

He had some behaviors prior to that, just nothing like when it erupted in 6th

with 24/7 new behaviors popping up.

Has the therapist broken down into a list some of her rituals (redoing things)

and had her try to work on any particular ones?

Is she shy too? Just wondering if that is part of her separation anxiety.

Social cues - I have a son with Aspergers (on the autism spectrum) and that's a

common problem for them. I will say he's improved over the years in that area.

Also the " new situations " thing, though we are all more comfortable in familiar

ones, even me. He was also " different " to his peers but even more when OCD

started in middle school. Real nice kid but just not " typical " and didn't fit

in. I have 2 other sons also, one a twin (not identical) to my OCD/AS son. Not

trying to lead you to another diagnosis, but have you ever looked at Aspergers

or also at Nonverbal Learning Disability (NLD or NVLD) which is very similar and

both have these traits in common? Even when I thought my son may not fit all

the criteria for an Aspergers, or even NLD, diagnosis, I found it helpful to

read about them, looking for tips on how to approach areas like social cues,

etc.

Yes, it can be hard for them to separate the disorder from themselves. My son

has a bit of a problem with that presently, though he suffers from " bad

thoughts " now. Prior to this when 6th grade OCD started, he had more physical

type rituals and compulsions and it was easier for him to see those as " OCD "

since they were new and so time-consuming, etc. But if it's a behavior they've

had for years, it can be more difficult for them to separate it sometimes.

Does your husband acknowledge that he suffers from depression? Wonder if he

could relate it to his having no control, exactly, over that to her not having

control over her OCD??

Glad you found our group,

>

> Hi,

>

> I have a thirteen year old daughter with OCD. She has had some CBT, which I

think has helped. I think she has had it since she was about two. She always

had to redo everything until it was " right " and had extreme separation anxiety.

It has been difficult for our family, because she has had many outbursts and

gets very frusterated. She is a great student and super smart, but her anxiety

really made her first year in a new school very, very hard. She gets caught up

in her own head and I think misses important social cues

[Guest guest]

Thanks! She isn't really shy, just very sensitive. The problem is, she

sometimes gets so involved with rituals in her head that she isn't paying

attention to what is really happening around her, so I think the other kids feel

like she isn't listening, which- she isn't!

Having a husband with depression and a daughter with OCD is a little

overwhelming to say the least. On a good day, we all manage to laugh a little

at ourselves!

CJ

>

> Hi CJ, welcome to our group! I have a son, 22, whose OCD began in 6th grade.

He had some behaviors prior to that, just nothing like when it erupted in 6th

with 24/7 new behaviors popping up.

>

>

> Is she shy too? Just wondering if that is part of her separation anxiety.

>

> Social cues - I have a son with Aspergers (on the autism spectrum) and that's

a common problem for them. I will say he's improved over the years in that

area. Also the " new situations " thing, though we are all more comfortable in

familiar ones, even me. He was also " different " to his peers but even more

when OCD started in middle school. Real nice kid but just not " typical " and

didn't fit in. I have 2 other sons also, one a twin (not identical) to my

OCD/AS son. Not trying to lead you to another diagnosis, but have you ever

looked at Aspergers or also at Nonverbal Learning Disability (NLD or NVLD) which

is very similar and both have these traits in common? Even when I thought my

son may not fit all the criteria for an Aspergers, or even NLD, diagnosis, I

found it helpful to read about them, looking for tips on how to approach areas

like social cues, etc.

>

> Yes, it can be hard for them to separate the disorder from themselves. My son

has a bit of a problem with that presently, though he suffers from " bad

thoughts " now. Prior to this when 6th grade OCD started, he had more physical

type rituals and compulsions and it was easier for him to see those as " OCD "

since they were new and so time-consuming, etc. But if it's a behavior they've

had for years, it can be more difficult for them to separate it sometimes.

>

> Does your husband acknowledge that he suffers from depression? Wonder if he

could relate it to his having no control, exactly, over that to her not having

control over her OCD??

>

> Glad you found our group,

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your kind words- honestly, I do feel like it is all on my

shoulders and I often feel so alone. It is good to read what others are going

through, too.

Best,

CJ

>

> Hi, CJ. I understand how you feel. So many of us do. I can only speak for

myself, but I think a lot of mothers bear most of the burden of our children's

OCD. We read the books, go to the counselor visits, take charge at home, etc.

It can be very frustrating for us and make us feel quite alone in the fight

against OCD.

>

> That is why it is so important to take care of ourselves, and joining this

group is one of the things that does that. Here, you can ask questions or vent,

and at least a handful of women (I'm sure there are men in this group too, but

I've only interacted with women here) will write back, share their own

experiences, and lift you up. Here, you are a part of a team and not the Lone

Ranger.

>

> I hope you find the support you need here, like I did and still do, and never

be afraid to reach out to us.

>

> Cheri

>