Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 myson is 13 and he has ocd...he was hospitalized for two months in october -november, he came out of hospital with progress...he wanted to change school and the aouthorities took more than 2 monthsto deal with his school place...and at the end they have decided to sent him in a tuiton centre where all the kids that are exluded from school go there...he is refusing to go there and this has made his ocd to flare up...he is feeling worse day by day...his anger is at the top and i dont know how t deal with it anymore...when he came out of hospital he refused therapy and h is not on any medication...im exausted and i dont know what to do...ihave an appointment with the therapist on 27 of april but i doubt that he is willing to attend ....and i am afraid that he cant wait until then....please help cos i dont know what to do...im really stressed and i cant decide....is anyone here from london....i live in london....please help.... thank you ida Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 From: alidalush@... To: Subject: urgent help needed please Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2011 12:00:12 +0000 myson is 13 and he has ocd...he was hospitalized for two months in october -november, he came out of hospital with progress...he wanted to change school and the aouthorities took more than 2 monthsto deal with his school place...and at the end they have decided to sent him in a tuiton centre where all the kids that are exluded from school go there...he is refusing to go there and this has made his ocd to flare up...he is feeling worse day by day...his anger is at the top and i dont know how t deal with it anymore...when he came out of hospital he refused therapy and h is not on any medication...im exausted and i dont know what to do...ihave an appointment with the therapist on 27 of april but i doubt that he is willing to attend ....and i am afraid that he cant wait until then....please help cos i dont know what to do...im really stressed and i cant decide....is anyone here from london....i live in london....please help.... thank you ida Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Dear Alida, I could have written this letter. This described my daughter to a tee until I took her out of public school a year ago. Suddenly, the pressure was off of having to be in a confined place for a whole day, having to go to the cafeteria and a host of other things no one understood...not even my husband or family. My daughter is now 16 but for the first 15 years of life...it was complete and utter hell. No matter what therapist we went to, nothing worked. As far as homeschooling goes, I knew I couldn't do that because we constantly butted heads and fought incessentaly. We tried online school which worked for the short term until school got harder and harder and she had to stay motivated which she didn't. What she has been doing since September is going to night school 2 nights a week. Her whole outlook has changed and she has become much more confident and happy. She doesn't love the kids she goes to school with because they are court mandated to be there and other things but she likes that she feels smart. If none of this is an option maybe the school can send a tutor to your house. I know none of this may help you but know you are NOT alone. Don't let anyone tell you that it is you...that is all your fault. I listened to too many years of negativity and I started feeling like I didn't even want to be on the planet. Helen Re: Homeschooling I am home schooling for the past 2 years. My daughter has ocd, with hoarding and rages. I took her out of school as it was severely difficult to get her there every day.She would wake up and not be able to get dressed, throw herself on the floor and basically nothing was right. itchy clothes, hair not right, etc, etc. I have been told by therapists that taking away the structure of school made her ocd worse. On that note none of her therapists had to get her to school every day and experience the torture of that. The school was not working with me on any of her issues. I kind of wish that I hadn't made the decision to home school as getting her back in will not be easy, and sometimes I think I would like her to be back in some kind of school. I also have issues with being around her all day , every day. I know that may sound mean but you really want some separation and space from a child with OCD, it will test your patience beyond belief. And in my case I mean beyond belief! It feels like being her around her all the time I cannot see my child as separate from her issues, her hoarding and rage have gotten in the way in such a huge way. I have to really work on being accepting of her, and it's hard when I cannot even talk about it as she will rage if I bring it up. sigh. I also have to thank everyone on this board who answered my questions. I really appreciate your support. Best, In a message dated 3/26/2011 10:10:49 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, thecorrineadams@... writes: I posted on here a few days ago about my five year old son and his potential ocd. I have been on again off again considering homeschooling him. Sometimes I want to because of how particular he is and to be honest sometimes I think that would make it more difficult. I wondered what other people where doing, your opinions on homeschooling and what method works for best for those of you who do choose to homeschool your child with ocd. I am also curious about how that works if you have other children who do not have ocd, as I have a 3 year old son as well and if we homeschooled one of them we would homeschool the other. Thanks, Corrine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Ida, I can feel your stress. I have experienced similar with our son, now 19. Treatment refusal is common particularly with teens. The anger and behavior that can come when the anxiety is not managed with medication, or in some fashion, is very difficult, and again these ages are challenging. I really feel for you and have felt that level of desperation, wondering what to do. Our son attends an alternative school within the school board(Canada), it sounds similar to what you are describing. Our son said he would not go, and we wondered how we would get him there. It's the anxiety talking. I'm not saying it will be easy to get him to school, but it is something to be worked with. Since he has waited 2 months, I'm sure the anxiety around this is very high. Remember it is the anticipation of something more than doing it that causes the anxiety. It really depends on how severe the OCD/anxiety. Sometimes their own motivations will help them move despite the severe anxiety, but it sounds like this might not be the case right now. Perhaps there needs to be another option at this point. Is there an outpatient hospital program available? Our son did this for nine months and school was part of this. Did the hospital help with a transition plan, or can you consult them for assistance on any of this? I'm wondering what the hospital program was that he attended. Since you say it helped, it might be worth contacting them for advise (maybe the social worker attached to your son's case?) Your son needs professional support, but the reality is you really can't make him attend the doctors appointment. If he won't go, I would still go yourself. Will he tell you why he won't attend? He may be holding onto experiences from hospitalization, or he may fear that a doctor will try to " make him " do something he doesn't feel ready to do. If you pitch it to him that you are going to get some help and he only needs to attend, not say or do anything, or agree to anything, just listen. Remind him that it is his way out of his suffering. If, as you say, he/you can't wait that long what are your options? Are you thinking emergency and hospitalization? If so, think about what you hope to achieve through this, and be clear if this will happen. If you think your son needs medication, hospitalization can work on that, even at emerg, depending - we have a specialized mental health emerg, do you have this? Is there a mental health crisis line you can contact? In Canada, this is an access point to care, and they can direct you. We have a mobile crisis unit that will come to your home, if they feel it is warranted, this is accessed through the crisis line. I did not know this existed until after our crisis times. Might be something to see if you have. Is there a youth services centre? If you can't get your son to participate in anything else, he might be willing to attend a group session of some kind through a youth centre. Youth talking to youth, with a counsellor attached. The challenge is that you cannot make your child participate in treatment. Sometimes it is a matter of waiting it out until they will really get on board. Sometimes this means things get pretty bad for them, and us, and you keep reminding them that there is help until they decide they want it, or until you have to take other steps. Since your son has already been helped with the hospitalization, he knows he CAN be helped. Hold onto this knowledge. If what you are living at home is not manageable, and you know you cannot continue it, then you need to search out options, as mentioned above. It sounds like you could use support for yourself. You might contact your local community centre to see if you can talk to someone, and they might also have ideas about what you could do, and know what resources are available locally. Maybe a local parent support group. Of course we are always here too! Know that you are not alone. Others deal with the same challenges. I really wish I had the magic answer. OCD is very treatable, but often treatment is not easy, for anyone. Hang in there, and know that although it is all upside down right now, it will turn around, it just may take some time. Sending you hugs! Barb Canada Son, 19, OCD, Autism Spectrum > > > > > > > From: alidalush@... > To: > Subject: urgent help needed please > Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2011 12:00:12 +0000 > > > > > myson is 13 and he has ocd...he was hospitalized for two months in october -november, he came out of hospital with progress...he wanted to change school and the aouthorities took more than 2 monthsto deal with his school place...and at the end they have decided to sent him in a tuiton centre where all the kids that are exluded from school go there...he is refusing to go there and this has made his ocd to flare up...he is feeling worse day by day...his anger is at the top and i dont know how t deal with it anymore...when he came out of hospital he refused therapy and h is not on any medication...im exausted and i dont know what to do...ihave an appointment with the therapist on 27 of april but i doubt that he is willing to attend ....and i am afraid that he cant wait until then....please help cos i dont know what to do...im really stressed and i cant decide....is anyone here from london....i live in london....please help.... > thank you > ida > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Ida, I am not in London, but I would recommend finding a doctor who can prescribe him medication now. Have you read any books on OCD and tried things recommended in the books? There are also books the children can read themselves that sometimes help. I know it is hard when you see that your child is struggling but I wouldn't let too many things get out of control because it is hard to get it back. Tell your son that he has to go to school or he cannot live with you and here are his options.......let him decide what he can handle. I've had to do things like this with my youngest who got really bad. She does not want to go to an OCD clinic or other medical facility where she would have to stay and be away from home, so I tell her if you want to live here, you have to take your meds, do your schoolwork (we home school), etc. Deneen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 Ida, my dd was also hospitalized for 2 months as well. Was your son on meds while in the hospital? My dd's treatment facility wrote a contract that my dd had to sign before she left her intensive inpatient. It stated things like taking her meds, the amount of times per week she would need to attend therapy, being respectful etc. It was sent to all of her at home providers. She wasn't allowed to leave inpatient until her hospital providers had spoken with each of her at home providers. The contract stated that if she failed to do the things in the contract she would be sent to residential treatment. Residential was suggested for my dd once she finished inpatient but we declined and decided to bring her home. Her inpatient was 2,000 miles from our home and after 2 months months of being away she really wanted to come home. Did your son have providers set up for when he got out of the hospital? Could someone write up a contract now for what he needs to be able to stay at home? I wish you the best of luck. I know how hard this must be. Take Care, Stormy. ________________________________ To: group < > Sent: Wed, March 30, 2011 7:00:12 AM Subject: urgent help needed please myson is 13 and he has ocd...he was hospitalized for two months in october -november, he came out of hospital with progress...he wanted to change school and the aouthorities took more than 2 monthsto deal with his school place...and at the end they have decided to sent him in a tuiton centre where all the kids that are exluded from school go there...he is refusing to go there and this has made his ocd to flare up...he is feeling worse day by day...his anger is at the top and i dont know how t deal with it anymore...when he came out of hospital he refused therapy and h is not on any medication...im exausted and i dont know what to do...ihave an appointment with the therapist on 27 of april but i doubt that he is willing to attend ....and i am afraid that he cant wait until then....please help cos i dont know what to do...im really stressed and i cant decide....is anyone here from london....i live in london....please help.... thank you ida Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 Deneen, I wish I had some really good advice to give you, but all I can say is you are doing everything you can for your son, so make sure you take care of yourself this weekend while you wait to take him to his psychiatrist on Monday. As for his excessive sleeping, he might be using sleep to escape from his OCD. Hang in there, Deneen. Try to do one thing this weekend that brings you comfort and respite. Cheri > > I haven't posted in a long time because I don't even know where to begin. My 14-yr. old DS is falling apart. He is in the ninth grade and started a new school this year, his third new school in three years, in yet another attempt to give him a fresh start. Just like in the eighth grade and to a lesser extent the seventh grade, he has been bullied relentlessly. In addition to OCD, he has significant ADD and although he is almost 15, his therapist said he is socially and emotionally at the level of a 12-yr. old. For the last couple months, he has been spending more and more time sleeping- he doesn't seem interested in much of anything anymore. The other day he came home and went straight to sleep and was upset when i tried to wake him up after 4 hours. Until the last couple months he NEVER took a nap- I even had blood work done to see if there's a physical reason for his fatigue, and the tests came back normal. His therapist thinks, and I totally agree, that he is clinically depressed. > > He is very angry and irritable toward me and his Dad, and gets upset about little things and won't let them drop. At the therapist tonight I told her that my son doesn't smile much lately- he waited until hours later to tell me how upset he wad that I said that, there must be something wrong with me if I don't notice how much he smiles, and on and on and on. He analyzes every word that comes out of my mouth, why did I I say that? Why did I pause before answering his question? The fact that I paused proves I'm lying, etc, etc. > He is taking Paxil which I absolutely think is the wrong medication for him. He switched to Prozac in the winter but it made him even more angry, irritable, and obsessing about suicide. We put him back on Paxil- I want him to try something else but he seems so fragile right now that I worry with the stress of school that he wouldn't be able to handle the adjustment period. But while we're waiting for summer vacation he is suffering so much with the OCD and depression. > > He fights against the few reasonable rules we have at home, has no motivation or self-starting when it comes to homework, and hardly ever knows what his homework assignments are. He won't get up for school in the morning until we're always running late. > > He has a wonderful therapist who specializes in OCD, and will be seeing his psychiatrist to talk about medication on Monday. I don't really have any questions- I just needed to vent. I'm just so physically and emotionally exhausted. > > Thanks for listening, > OCD Mom > > schoolwork (we home school), etc. > > > > Deneen > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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