Re: Help - Desperate - How to handle germ contamination fears

[Guest guest]

hi judy

from my experience with my son, i would advice you not to give in to her ocd

demands, she is only 6 years old and you can handle her ourtburst if she will

have any...dont do what she thinks its right for you to do...dont wash the

clothes the way or when she thinks they are dirty...if you do that she will

demand doing it more and more...if you dont do it then she will stop asking

you...until youhave your app, just be strong and dont give in into her ocd

demands...its best for her and for you too..

hugsss

alida

To:

From: jmnobida@...

Date: Sat, 16 Apr 2011 00:30:46 -0700

Subject: Help - Desperate - How to handle germ contamination

fears

Hi Everyone -

Getting pretty desperate here. My 6 yr old dd's germ contamination fears are

rising exponentially with each passing day. Up until the past 2 weeks, it felt

somewhat manageable, but recently it's just getting worse and worse each day. If

anything she perceives as " germ ridden " so much as graze's her belongings, she

is completely distressed. She has managed to hide this at school, but I noticed

when I picked her up from school the last couple of days, she seemed

particularly weary and anxious on top of her usual falling apart when she sees

me. I'm guessing all this anxiety is finally catching up to her and it seems

only a matter of time that she won't be able to keep it together at school.

My mother-in-law joined us for dinner out tonight and my dd always enjoys her

company and can get quite distracted from her issues. However tonight, my dd

only wanted to sit in my lap or remain curled up in her chair because she was

worried about touching things in the restaurant and was completely consumed

about other personal items at home that may have been contaminated earlier in

the day. She couldn't wait to go home and her only relief was distraction by

watching tv. Everytime I would get near her, she would talk about all the things

she thought had been contaminated that I needed to wash or get rid of. She is

better when I am not around.

My husband and I are having our first appt with a psychiatrist on Monday and our

first appt. with the psychologist isn't until 5/3, so it could be 3 -4 weeks

before my daughter is diagnosed let a lone receive any therapy.

So my big question is, how do I work with her on her contamination fears now

until she begins any kind of therapy. What do I do or tell her when she says she

wants me to wash her jacket after it's been grazed by my hand that closed the

bathroom stall door or when she's insisting that her slippers are now soiled and

unusable because they were placed next to her laundry bag. I've been gently

telling her that I understand that she's worried about it, and try to reassure

her it's clean. I'm afraid if I give in to her demands and wash something that's

not really dirty just to appease her or relieve her anxiety, then it will

snowball and she'll be asking me to wash things 10 times, then 20 times....etc.

Any advice would be appreciated....thank you so much.

Judy

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

I'm giving you a few links to explanations on what you can do. They can explain

better and more thoroughly the " how " of it than I can. Essentially, you do not

want to comply with what your daughter wants you to do, or to even reassure, as

this only feeds the OCD. However, in the early stages often it is unavoidable

to not accommodate some things or you simply couldn't get through the day.

Also, the exposure needs to be done in a graduated way, and within your

daughter's ability to manage the anxiety that comes up. So, I will leave you to

read further and decide how and what can be managed. I also, just have a quick

minute, so thinking good info from experts might serve best!

Also, the book, What to do When your brain gets stuck, for you and your daughter

to read together would be a good resource and tool as it has a workbook

component.

I am copying an excerpt from something written by Dr.Penzel, a leading expert

who does ERP therapy. The link, from the ocfoundation website follows.

" Having briefly covered this very complex topic, the next question would be what

can be done about these problems? To those of you familiar with OCD, the answer

should be obvious - behavioral therapy and possibly medicine. Behavioral therapy

would be in the form of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). This remains the

most widely used and accepted form of behavioral treatment for OCD. This type of

therapy encourages patients to gradually encounter increasing doses of that

which is contaminated, while resisting washing, checking, avoiding, or

conducting magical rituals. By staying with the anxiety, sufferers come to learn

the truth of the matter - that nothing really happens when they face their

fears, and that their efforts at taking precautions serve no real purpose.

Gradually, patients learn to merge their clean and dirty worlds as they cease to

protect themselves. They also concentrate on learning to accept that there will

always be a certain amount of risk in life that can never be eliminated, and

that life can still be enjoyed and lived freely in spite of this fact. By trying

to eliminate risk, they come to see that along with it, they will eliminate

their ability to function. I like to tell my patients that " When everything is

contaminated, nothing is contaminated. "

http://www.ocfoundation.org/EO_Contamination.aspx

Here are some other links for fact sheets with home management strategies -

http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/hmocd.pdf

http://www.cheo.on.ca/uploads/OCD/OCD%20ENG.pdf

I'm sure others will chime in with more personal " how to " on this. Truth be

told, I could not do anything with our son in this regard, until medication

brought down the anxiety. We had a teen, and issues around medication etc, so

it was a long time before we could ever get ERP going. So, I don't feel in a

good position to advise on this really. Hope you find the resources helpful

though.

Warmly,

Barb

>

> Hi Everyone -

> Getting pretty desperate here. My 6 yr old dd's germ contamination fears are

rising exponentially with each passing day. Up until the past 2 weeks, it felt

somewhat manageable, but recently it's just getting worse and worse each day. If

anything she perceives as " germ ridden " so much as graze's her belongings, she

is completely distressed. She has managed to hide this at school, but I noticed

when I picked her up from school the last couple of days, she seemed

particularly weary and anxious on top of her usual falling apart when she sees

me. I'm guessing all this anxiety is finally catching up to her and it seems

only a matter of time that she won't be able to keep it together at school.

> My mother-in-law joined us for dinner out tonight and my dd always enjoys her

company and can get quite distracted from her issues. However tonight, my dd

only wanted to sit in my lap or remain curled up in her chair because she was

worried about touching things in the restaurant and was completely consumed

about other personal items at home that may have been contaminated earlier in

the day. She couldn't wait to go home and her only relief was distraction by

watching tv. Everytime I would get near her, she would talk about all the things

she thought had  been contaminated that I needed to wash or get rid of. She is

better when I am not around.

> My husband and I are having our first appt with a psychiatrist on Monday and

our first appt. with the psychologist isn't until 5/3, so it could be 3 -4 weeks

before my daughter is diagnosed let a lone receive any therapy.

> So my big question is, how do I work with her on her contamination fears now

until she begins any kind of therapy. What do I do or tell her when she says she

wants me to wash her jacket after it's been grazed by my hand that closed the

bathroom stall door or when she's insisting that her slippers are now soiled and

unusable because they were placed next to her laundry bag. I've been gently

telling her that I understand that she's worried about it, and try to reassure

her it's clean. I'm afraid if I give in to her demands and wash something that's

not really dirty just to appease her or relieve her anxiety, then it will

snowball and she'll be asking me to wash things 10 times, then 20 times....etc.

> Any advice would be appreciated....thank you so much.

> Judy

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey there!

My 8 yr old son has severe germ contamination issues also. We have been in

various phases of OCD since he was four. We have been in therapy for 4 mo. now.

One things that works for ,and is therapist approved, is a " safe zone " . His

safe zone is his bedroom. When he feels germs are attacking he will go in there

to calm down. If he is having a bad day he does not want me in there so his

things do not get " germed up " and I respect this as it gives him some control

and he will eventually calm down.

We too have items get germy if graved by myself, another family member or

another contaminated item. Each child will have a different way to calm

themselves. You have to find what works for yours. I don't know how much you

have educated yoourself on childhood OCD but I am reading " Freeing Your Child

From OCD " by Dr. Tamar Chansky and it is GREAT. Easy to understand and very

comprehensive. Also, go to " OC chicago " on the web. They are the most complete

website I have found out there.

We have only been on medication for 6 wks now. It has helped but not enough.

We are raising his dosage.

We also have similar issues at school. Each family makes their own decision.

When his OCD worsened we felt it was best to have a sit down with his teacher

and discuss it with her so she would understand what was going on as is

frequently late or absent. She can then report to you any change in behavior,

symptoms, social interaction as well as watch for side effects from meds.

Some germ tantrums are so severe that there is no " handling " it. We just

have to hold on tight and ride it out. Letting him know that we are for him

when he is ready. Afterwards, he wants alot of hugs, love and reassurance.

Be patient. Meds help...but it takes awhile. Therapy helps...but it takes

awhile. Working with him at home helps...but it takes alot of work. Dr.

Chansky's book has not only given me info on the OCD but has helped with my

feelings as a parent batteling it.

Since we are going through similar issues It would be fine if you wanted to

contact me directly at my personal e-mail.

Good luck to you and yours...........

>

stall door or when she's insisting that her slippers are now soiled and unusable

because they were placed next to her laundry bag. I've been gently telling her

that I understand that she's worried about it, and try to reassure her it's

clean. I'm afraid if I give in to her demands and wash something that's not

really dirty just to appease her or relieve her anxiety, then it will snowball

and she'll be asking me to wash things 10 times, then 20 times....etc.

> Any advice would be appreciated....thank you so much.

> Judy

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

Sorry to hear about your dd, my dd is 8 and was diagnosed last summer with OCD

as she had very bad contamination issue and in the end she could not leave our

house because she thought she would die. It is very difficult to give you advice

without her being diagnosed but I would try to get it done quicker if possible

and also any method I have used is best done when you are supervised by a

professional. However, not giving in to her demands is good.

We started with a mental health nurse who taught our dd relaxation techniques,

she still uses them.

As her meds started to work we began with cognitive therapy sessions (twice a

week) and one session with a psychiatrist a month. We are now down to one

therapy session a month and visits with the child psychiatrist once every three

month. We are supposed to begin to lower her meds when schools ends for the

summer. She is much better but still has some small issues left. I do not know

if they will ever go away or this is as good as it gets. However, she has come a

long way and meds combined with therapy has been the way for us.

I wish you all the best

Good Luck

Ivalo

________________________________

To: < >

Sent: Sat, April 16, 2011 9:30:46 AM

Subject: Help - Desperate - How to handle germ contamination

fears

Hi Everyone -

Getting pretty desperate here. My 6 yr old dd's germ contamination fears are

rising exponentially with each passing day. Up until the past 2 weeks, it felt

somewhat manageable, but recently it's just getting worse and worse each day. If

anything she perceives as " germ ridden " so much as graze's her belongings, she

is completely distressed. She has managed to hide this at school, but I noticed

when I picked her up from school the last couple of days, she seemed

particularly weary and anxious on top of her usual falling apart when she sees

me. I'm guessing all this anxiety is finally catching up to her and it seems

only a matter of time that she won't be able to keep it together at school.

My mother-in-law joined us for dinner out tonight and my dd always enjoys her

company and can get quite distracted from her issues. However tonight, my dd

only wanted to sit in my lap or remain curled up in her chair because she was

worried about touching things in the restaurant and was completely consumed

about other personal items at home that may have been contaminated earlier in

the day. She couldn't wait to go home and her only relief was distraction by

watching tv. Everytime I would get near her, she would talk about all the things

she thought had been contaminated that I needed to wash or get rid of. She is

better when I am not around.

My husband and I are having our first appt with a psychiatrist on Monday and our

first appt. with the psychologist isn't until 5/3, so it could be 3 -4 weeks

before my daughter is diagnosed let a lone receive any therapy.

So my big question is, how do I work with her on her contamination fears now

until she begins any kind of therapy. What do I do or tell her when she says she

wants me to wash her jacket after it's been grazed by my hand that closed the

bathroom stall door or when she's insisting that her slippers are now soiled and

unusable because they were placed next to her laundry bag. I've been gently

telling her that I understand that she's worried about it, and try to reassure

her it's clean. I'm afraid if I give in to her demands and wash something that's

not really dirty just to appease her or relieve her anxiety, then it will

snowball and she'll be asking me to wash things 10 times, then 20 times....etc.

Any advice would be appreciated....thank you so much.

Judy

[Guest guest]

My daughter had this fear at age 6.. It was quite severe..  We started Zoloft

at

that time along with diet intervention and her OCD was relieved almost

instantly.. She had so many OCD rituals.. checking rituals, washing rituals,

tapping rituals, " just right " rituals, along with completely irrational fears..

her hands got so dried out, they looked like dried up clay..  We tried lotion,

but she would wash so much that it didn't matter.  Anyway, the Zoloft saved her

in the beginning, but the diet modification took it a step further and

eliminated the need for medication.. Test results showed she was reacting to

gluten and casein and soy in a BIG way.. We eliminated those foods and she

improved even more, even beyond the OCD (she has Asperger's and ADHD as

well).. 

I have been weaning her off the Zoloft, with no change in behavior or increased

symptoms.. But if she eats gluten, her OCD comes back in full force, despite

being on Zoloft..  This happened recently when a teacher at school gave her two

donuts..  Her OCD had been dormant at the time for several months.. The teacher

gave her the donuts and within two days, her OCD was back in FULL FORCE, just as

it had been before..  Constant checking, washing, tapping, worrying, irrational

fears, etc., along with increased stimming, hyperactivity, tantrums, aggression,

etc.  It didn't matter that she was on Zoloft one bit.. So I'm weaing her off

of

the Zoloft now and guarding her mouth with my life instead..  The Zoloft helped

in the beginning, but the diet change helped more and continues to help.

Misty

________________________________

To: < >

Sent: Sat, April 16, 2011 2:30:46 AM

Subject: Help - Desperate - How to handle germ contamination

fears

 

Hi Everyone -

Getting pretty desperate here. My 6 yr old dd's germ contamination fears are

rising exponentially with each passing day. Up until the past 2 weeks, it felt

somewhat manageable, but recently it's just getting worse and worse each day. If

anything she perceives as " germ ridden " so much as graze's her belongings, she

is completely distressed. She has managed to hide this at school, but I noticed

when I picked her up from school the last couple of days, she seemed

particularly weary and anxious on top of her usual falling apart when she sees

me. I'm guessing all this anxiety is finally catching up to her and it seems

only a matter of time that she won't be able to keep it together at school.

My mother-in-law joined us for dinner out tonight and my dd always enjoys her

company and can get quite distracted from her issues. However tonight, my dd

only wanted to sit in my lap or remain curled up in her chair because she was

worried about touching things in the restaurant and was completely consumed

about other personal items at home that may have been contaminated earlier in

the day. She couldn't wait to go home and her only relief was distraction by

watching tv. Everytime I would get near her, she would talk about all the things

she thought had  been contaminated that I needed to wash or get rid of. She is

better when I am not around.

My husband and I are having our first appt with a psychiatrist on Monday and our

first appt. with the psychologist isn't until 5/3, so it could be 3 -4 weeks

before my daughter is diagnosed let a lone receive any therapy.

So my big question is, how do I work with her on her contamination fears now

until she begins any kind of therapy. What do I do or tell her when she says she

wants me to wash her jacket after it's been grazed by my hand that closed the

bathroom stall door or when she's insisting that her slippers are now soiled and

unusable because they were placed next to her laundry bag. I've been gently

telling her that I understand that she's worried about it, and try to reassure

her it's clean. I'm afraid if I give in to her demands and wash something that's

not really dirty just to appease her or relieve her anxiety, then it will

snowball and she'll be asking me to wash things 10 times, then 20 times....etc.

Any advice would be appreciated....thank you so much.

Judy

[Guest guest]

Hi Misty,

Wow, that's a pretty distinct reaction. Glad the gluten free, plus, is working

so well for her. Just curious, how long does it take for the symptoms to

subside after she is exposed to the gluten or whatever? And how long did it

take for the OCD/symptoms to settle down in the first place, when you changed

her diet? Did she do ERP too, or was that not needed then?

I am aware of gluten and am borderline intolerant myself, suspect my son is as

well, but no chance he'll cut it out at this point. When he was younger I was

able to restrict his diet and I found it was helpful in general, but never did

gluten free, more wheat free.

He had lots of sensitivities, allergies, etc, but his seemed to settle down when

the anxiety settled down, which wasn't medication based alone, also ERP, so when

the OCD was managed. Still has seasonal allergies, dust, animals though, not as

bad though.

As I think of it now, I think maybe it's total load with ours, immune system

starts to overload and overreact. Good if you can address it from all angles,

the immune system stuff, I think. We see an alternative practitioner who has

remedies we use.

As with PANDAS, I think there may well be an immune based connection, with all

cases of OCD. Affects each one a little differently perhaps.

Thanks for sharing Misty. I know others who have found gluten/diet made a big

impact. My sister(no OCD, but other) went gluten free and says she's never felt

better. I'm watching her to see, then maybe consider it It's a big

undertaking to keep up, so you really have to have a reason to do it. I'd be

guarding my kids mouth too if the response was like your daughter!!

Warmly,

Barb

>

> My daughter had this fear at age 6.. It was quite severe..  We started Zoloft

at

> that time along with diet intervention and her OCD was relieved almost

> instantly.. She had so many OCD rituals.. checking rituals, washing rituals,

> tapping rituals, " just right " rituals, along with completely irrational

fears..

> her hands got so dried out, they looked like dried up clay..  We tried

lotion,

> but she would wash so much that it didn't matter.  Anyway, the Zoloft saved

her

> in the beginning, but the diet modification took it a step further and

> eliminated the need for medication.. Test results showed she was reacting to

> gluten and casein and soy in a BIG way.. We eliminated those foods and she

> improved even more, even beyond the OCD (she has Asperger's and ADHD as

well).. 

> I have been weaning her off the Zoloft, with no change in behavior or

increased

> symptoms.. But if she eats gluten, her OCD comes back in full force, despite

> being on Zoloft..  This happened recently when a teacher at school gave her

two

> donuts..  Her OCD had been dormant at the time for several months.. The

teacher

> gave her the donuts and within two days, her OCD was back in FULL FORCE, just

as

> it had been before..  Constant checking, washing, tapping, worrying,

irrational

> fears, etc., along with increased stimming, hyperactivity, tantrums,

aggression,

> etc.  It didn't matter that she was on Zoloft one bit.. So I'm weaing her off

of

> the Zoloft now and guarding her mouth with my life instead..  The Zoloft

helped

> in the beginning, but the diet change helped more and continues to help.

>

> Misty

>

>