New to the Group

[Guest guest]

It sounds like you know in your heart that it's time to " get brave " as you put

it. You can do it. We're all here to support you.

>

> Yes we do send her to the kitchen when she gets out of control because the

> therapist made us feel like she was just acting out to get attention.  I am

> feeling really guilty today because I called the play therapist last night

made

> up an excuse why we cannot go tonight because I was too afraid to cancel

> completely with her.  I want time to research this and I have to do things in

> small doses becuase I get anxiety too which makes me overwelmed and sometimes

> slows me down.  She did not seem happy about me questioning her whether my

> daughter has OCD or not and was quick to say that in her opinion just

has

> generalized anxiety becuase otherwise her behavior would be more consitent! 

> Consistent?  What does she call washing her hands constantly, having to

shower

> every night(when she hated to shower a few months ago) and not being able to

> touch certain items to others, and not being able to go in her bedroom until

> after showering, or brush her own teeth, or put on her own shoes because of

> germs???I just feel this therapist(who is suspiciously easy to get in to see

at

> a moments notice)just needs clients and doesn't have the training to diagnose

or

> treat my child.  This also depresses me because I feel it's my fault she

hasn't

> got the help she really needs for months now.  I will look into the allergy

> testing this week.  We have TriCare and it is easy to get approved and the

> testing is covered, I just need to get brave.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I hope she can recommend someone, .

We were in the same situation. . Nobody in our area (and I use that term

loosely, because we drive quite a distance) took insurance at all. We had

coverage for it, but it cost us a LOT.

Eventually, our son's therapist's office started taking insurance, and our son's

therapist was willing to work with our insurance company to put together a

" single case agreement " , so it was treated as " in-network " . I had to convince

the insurance company that no " in-network " therapists we were allowed to use,

used the right therapy, but it was worth the effort.

I know a number of people in here have mentioned their child was diagnosed with

ADD or ADHD, along with OCD, but once the OCD was under control the attention

problems disappeared too. OCD can be so distractive that sometimes it's hard to

know what is going on until the OCD is stable. So hopefully, it is just OCD you

are dealing with.

Ask Lori Riddle- if she knows of any meetings. She, hopefully, can offer

some information in your area.

BJ

>

> BJ

> That therapist looks great but she is probably 1 - 1 1/2 hours from here but I

> think I will call and see if they have a referral to someone closer.  I live

a

> few miles south of Disneyland in Orange County.  The trick is finding someone

> who takes Tricare.  It's not easy to find someone good who takes that

because

> they get less money from the Ins but we pay $25 per appointment.  

>

> More and more she seems overwelmed easily and when we try to control her she

is

> getting more and more angry and talking back.  She is very smart and also

gets

> overwelmed very quickly.  She gets distracted a lot in class day dreaming or

> gets bored sometimes so she doesn't pay attention.  Then at home she is very

> difficult to teach because she tunes us out, so it takes many hours to simply

do

> what should be a few minutes.  I am wondering if on top of OCD she may have

ADD

> or something causing the frustration.  She has had a rough life.  Her

biological

> father(my ex who I left and divorced 5 1/2 years ago) was verbally abusive to

me

> and violent towards objects in our home and she witnessed that when she was

> little.  That is where I developed my panic attacks and anxiety.  I think I

may

> suffer Post Traumatic Stress.  I really believe he is bi polar and refuses to

> get help but that is another story. 

>

> I am really thankful to have found this group because to be honest this is

still

> very new to me and I am still really having trouble coming to terms with the

> fact that my little girl has a lot of issues to face and it breaks my heart to

> see her suffering. 

>

> No one on this site has mentioned if there are any face to face meetings ever

in

> this area?  Does anyone know of any?  It would just be great to get together

> once a month face to face to hear everyone share about how they survive

through

> these challenges.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have another question and perhaps I should be starting another threat but I am

overwelmed with all the information and responses since I have never joined a

group online like this before and it's a lot to take in.  How do I handle her

bright red hands because she is washing even more this week than usual? 

Tonight

when doing homework she got up every few minutes to wash and by the time she

showered she looked like she had sun burnt hands.  How do you learn to not take

all of this personally because I am very sensitive so when I see her hurting

herself it makes me want to cry.  Usually I just plead with her to stop washing

so often but obviously that won't work.  I don't know how to detach from

this. 

What's even worse is that I am struggling with thoughts of this somehow being my

fault and that I didn't catch this earlier. Reading everyone's threads I

beginging  to realize the horifying truth that she has had symptoms for

years! 

In Kindergarten she obsessed about night time fears and about whether God loved

her or if she was in danger.  In first grade she washed her hands for a time

period and still had irrational fears.  IN 2nd grade is obsessed about praying

for forgiveness every time she felt she had a bad thought.  In third grade

there

was some hand washing and now its a lot of washing and rules.

I am even begining to worry that I may have mild OCD too looking at my patterns

of worrying.  It's just a lot to take in.  I did write Dr s number down

and I plan on making myself call in the next few days to at least get a

referral.

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wed, February 2, 2011 12:23:09 PM

Subject: Re: New to the Group

 

Welcome to the group, .

I see told you about CBT/ERP. We went to many therapists over the years,

with our son (now 18), who tried many different things to treat his OCD

(including play therapy). Nothing helped until we found a therapist who used

CBT/ERP.

There aren't a lot of therapists who truly understand OCD, so they can be hard

to find.

I don't know how close this therapist is to you, but others have recommended her

in this group. And a friend of mine uses her for her daughter and really likes

her. Hopefully she isn't too far away from you. If she is, she might be able to

recommend someone closer to you.

http://www.lrwalker.net/

From reading Dr. Wagner's book, the explosive fits of rage aren't OCD, but it

seems they often go hand in hand with it.

I found, when our son was young, and fearful of something, he would fight like

he was fighting for his very life.

There is a book some in here have talked about, called The Explosive Child. I

wonder if you might find some helpful information in it to cope with her fits of

rage.

Once the OCD is more under control, the rage can subside, for some.

Our son also has eczema. It was MUCH worse when he was younger. We " literally "

held him down and had him allergy tested. Nothing came back as an allergy, no

food, nothing in the environment, nothing.

Since then, he's been tested a number of times more, yet the tests always come

back as him not being allergic to anything. Yet, he reacts to things. I've come

to the conclusion that he is sensitive to things, but not to the degree that it

shows up as an allergy.

I watched him closely, and if I noticed anything in particular that was setting

him off, that was an obviously known allergen, I would eliminate that from his

diet, to try to prevent reactions.

There can be many parts to the puzzle of trying to figure out what is making

your child sick, but the first line of treatment, recommended, by the experts in

the field of OCD, is CBT/ERP (cognitive behavioral therapy / exposure and

response prevention).

Glad you found our group.

BJ

>

> My name is and I am desperate to get some support because my 9 year

>old daughter is beginning to show more and more signs of OCD. she had mild

>symptoms that would go away for the past few years after school starts but this

>year it escalated and we began looking for therapy. We have been going to " play

>therapy " for a few months but I don't think it is helping much. When something

>gets better it is because my daughter decided to do something different

>and it doesn't always last. We are very stressed trying to figure out what the

> " rules " are each day and they are not consistent. The therapist says she will

>get over it when she chooses but all I see is the behaviors becomming

permanent.

>Mostly she washes her hands a lot, can't go to bed without showering or come

>back out except to use the restroom after showering. She can't touch her toys

>without showering and she keeps many belongings separate like her school lunch

>from her backpack. Also different foods make her feel she is greasy so she

>cannot do homework after eating. She has ecema so all the washing is hurting

her

>skin. If we try to change anything or put her in her room when she is acting

out

>she becomes out of control like a wild animal and will literally claw her way

>out past us. Or she will have melt downs like a toddler. We never know how to

>handle any of this and are just told by the therapist to " be the parent " and

>that she should follow our rules but I cannot stand to see her hurting so I

give

>in a lot. I also have anxiety/panic attacks and so this is very hard for me and

>it adding to my constant worrying.

> I would really love to find a face to face support group in Orange County for

>parents of kids with OCD if there is one? I have felt very alone dealing with

>this and I am overwelmed and cannot afford for myself to get therapy but we

>sacrafice for my daughter to go.

>

[Guest guest]

BJ,

Actually I didn't mention it but I do put cortaid on her hands at night but that

is the only time she lets me and usually sneaks to the rr to wash her hands

again afterward because she feels icky again.  The Cortaid calms the excema

down

from the washing some.  You may be surprised to know that often she doesn't use

soap to wash because she feels that the act of getting her hands rinsed off in

enough.  I found that really odd when I saw her doing that but maybe that is

common? 

I think we owe her a big aplogy for trying to get her to Stop some of these

behaviors after seeing the therapist who misslead us to think it was behavioral

becuase I think that has added to her frustration and acting out more towards

us.  She probably is angry that we didn't understand that she couldn't help

it. 

The therapist just kept saying " be the parent " and " she will get over it when

she chooses " and now I see that was completely wrong and I am upset about it

believe me!

Also I am going to take your advice and try the ERP with her hand washing

tonight. 

Oh, one thing I find amazing is that she recently joined the Intramural

Volleyball which practices twice a week after school.  It's great she is able

to

still do things like that and it ok with it.

Another scary thing that you made me remember is that she tells me that she does

hear a different voice than her own in her head.  She says it's her thoughts

but

a different voice.  She will pray against it while in the shower and this is

how

she decided on her own to deal with it. I found out about it while hearing her

talking to herself one night in the shower and asking her what she was saying. 

She goes to a very loving Christian School so she tries to understand her

problems in relation to her faith.

Have to run..I know I have so much to say so I appreciate all the support

greatly,

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thu, February 3, 2011 3:52:58 PM

Subject: Re: New to the Group

 

Hi, .

For the red spots, you can apply lotions to try to keep her hands from drying

out or chapping too much.

Our son, after years of not having hand washing problems, is having them again.

We recently lowered his meds and I'm wondering if that is why. At any rate, his

hands were literally cracking and bleeding. The dry, cold weather, on top of the

extra hand washing has made them worse than usual.

We've been putting a large portion of cream on the backs of his hands at night,

then putting cotton socks over them while he sleeps. It is clearing them up

nicely. On some of the cracks, we put Neosporin on them, to help them heal.

You can also try using a really gentle soap, like baby soap, for her to use. It

can be less drying than regular hand washing soap.

You can try some ERP with her, if she is willing. You could try having her wait

an extra minute before going in to wash, lengthening that time as she

progresses. Or even start with a smaller amount of time, if that is too hard,

like 10 seconds. You could also have her gradually reduce the amount of time

that she washes, or the amount of soap she uses with each wash. If she starts to

meltdown, unable to do it, then it might be too hard for her.

With ERP therapy, they make a list of their OCs, then start working on the

easiest one first, working their way up the list, to the tougher stuff, gaining

confidence as they go to take on the harder things. So, if the handwashing is

high on her list, it might be too tough to take on first.

It is hard to not take it personally. We had to work very hard to try to

remember to blame the OCD, not our son (not as easy as it sounds). More than

once I found myself telling him to just STOP. Then I would realize he couldn't.

He would if he could. So we worked at it.

We learned to put us all on the same side, against OCD, so he did not feel

personally responsible for things he was unable to stop doing.

It is heartbreaking when they are stuck and you can't help them. But, we learned

to encourage our son, with his cooperation, and it got better. It takes

patience, and sometimes baby steps, but if they are working on it, using ERP

therapy, they can improve.

So, maybe don't detach, but try to separate the OCD from your daughter, in your

mind. Look at it as a problem to be solved, together, with you against " it " .

I know it's hard. (((Hugs)))

Glad you found our group, .

BJ

>

> I have another question and perhaps I should be starting another threat but I

>am

>

> overwelmed with all the information and responses since I have never joined a

> group online like this before and it's a lot to take in.  How do I handle

her

> bright red hands because she is washing even more this week than usual? 

>Tonight

>

> when doing homework she got up every few minutes to wash and by the time she

> showered she looked like she had sun burnt hands.  How do you learn to not

>take

>

> all of this personally because I am very sensitive so when I see her hurting

> herself it makes me want to cry.  Usually I just plead with her to stop

>washing

>

> so often but obviously that won't work.  I don't know how to detach from

>this. 

>

> What's even worse is that I am struggling with thoughts of this somehow being

>my

>

> fault and that I didn't catch this earlier. Reading everyone's threads I

> beginging  to realize the horifying truth that she has had symptoms for

>years! 

>

> In Kindergarten she obsessed about night time fears and about whether God

loved

>

> her or if she was in danger.  In first grade she washed her hands for a

time

> period and still had irrational fears.  IN 2nd grade is obsessed about

praying

>

> for forgiveness every time she felt she had a bad thought.  In third grade

>there

>

> was some hand washing and now its a lot of washing and rules.

> I am even begining to worry that I may have mild OCD too looking at my

patterns

>

> of worrying.  It's just a lot to take in.  I did write Dr s number

down

>

> and I plan on making myself call in the next few days to at least get a

> referral.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Tori,

The type of allergies that cause eczema will not show up on a traditional IgE

allergy test.  You need to look into IgG food allergies.. These are the types

of

allergies associated with autism, ADHD, eczema, asthma, OCD, etc.

Misty

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thu, February 3, 2011 2:53:08 PM

Subject: Re: New to the Group

 

BJ and ,

It's amazing to me how many of our kids have eczema. We suspected a food allergy

or sensitivity early on but testing showed nothing. I think it definitely worth

it to observe what he eats and how he behaves after, but would be afraid to

eliminate much from his diet as it is pretty limited as it is. He is very

particular about what he'll eat (which I've always attributed to his autism) and

lately the conditions under which he'll eat (an OCD issue). He's a slender

little guy as it is and we have problems sometimes getting him to eat at all.

, my son also will not enter his bedroom unless he's just bathed.

Before we really understood OCD and what that meant for him, he would become

hysterical if we tried to insist he go to his room. He actually stopped sleeping

in his bed almost a year ago, because he said the bath he has to take before he

can get in the bed is too stressful and complicated. He started sleeping in the

playroom/guest room until his oldest brother (who is 23) moved back in. Now he

actually sleeps on an inflatable bed on the floor of his bedroom.

We ended up designating the living room as the place he could go to be alone and

calm down, but it doesn't always work out that way. Good luck finding a new

therapist. It makes a big difference.

Tori

> >

> > My name is and I am desperate to get some support because my 9

year

>old daughter is beginning to show more and more signs of OCD. she had mild

>symptoms that would go away for the past few years after school starts but this

>year it escalated and we began looking for therapy. We have been going to " play

>therapy " for a few months but I don't think it is helping much. When something

>gets better it is because my daughter decided to do something different

>and it doesn't always last. We are very stressed trying to figure out what the

> " rules " are each day and they are not consistent. The therapist says she will

>get over it when she chooses but all I see is the behaviors becomming

permanent.

>Mostly she washes her hands a lot, can't go to bed without showering or come

>back out except to use the restroom after showering. She can't touch her toys

>without showering and she keeps many belongings separate like her school lunch

>from her backpack. Also different foods make her feel she is greasy so she

>cannot do homework after eating. She has ecema so all the washing is hurting

her

>skin. If we try to change anything or put her in her room when she is acting

out

>she becomes out of control like a wild animal and will literally claw her way

>out past us. Or she will have melt downs like a toddler. We never know how to

>handle any of this and are just told by the therapist to " be the parent " and

>that she should follow our rules but I cannot stand to see her hurting so I

give

>in a lot. I also have anxiety/panic attacks and so this is very hard for me and

>it adding to my constant worrying.

> > I would really love to find a face to face support group in Orange County

for

>parents of kids with OCD if there is one? I have felt very alone dealing with

>this and I am overwelmed and cannot afford for myself to get therapy but we

>sacrafice for my daughter to go.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, .

I'm not surprised the therapist told you those things. There are many

therapists out there, who say they know how to treat OCD, yet they don't. They

try to apply techniques that do not work with OCD. We went through a number of

them, over the years, before we found someone who understands OCD and how to

treat it correcetly with CBT and most importantly, ERP. The difference was

amazing.

That is odd about her not using soap. . .But, OCD can be very peculiar. It will

freak out about one thing and shrug off another.

For example, our son has a lot of contamination issues, yet he will pick up food

off of the floor and eat it. Freaks me out. lol I don't like him doing that,

but he just shrugs it off. Yet, he will get really upset over something else

that seems trivial, because his OCD feels it is contaminated. That's the nature

of OCD.

The voice thing definitely needs to be told to the therapist, when you find one.

Some with OCD say they hear a voice in their head, but it is just the thoughts.

That needs to be sorted out by a professional though.

And if you don't know already, there is a form of OCD called Scrupulosity. We

are Christians and also believe in prayer, but found our son, at one point,

really freaking out about religion and anything to do with the Bible. It was

Scrupulosity at work. It can also come out in the form of being extremely

moral, needing to tell the truth about everything, even if it causes problems. .

Sometimes even prompting " confessing " .

I don't know it that applies to your daughter, but just wanted to mention it, so

you would be aware. There is nothing wrong with praying against something, but

if you find it becomes very worrisome for her, you might want to read up on

Scrupulosity and see if you think it applies. It did for our son, for a period

of time.

Glad you found our group, . Many here have been where you are and are

so happy to share what worked for them, to help another.

Blessings,

BJ

>

> BJ,

> Actually I didn't mention it but I do put cortaid on her hands at night but

that

> is the only time she lets me and usually sneaks to the rr to wash her hands

> again afterward because she feels icky again.  The Cortaid calms the excema

down

> from the washing some.  You may be surprised to know that often she doesn't

use

> soap to wash because she feels that the act of getting her hands rinsed off in

> enough.  I found that really odd when I saw her doing that but maybe that is

> common? 

>

> I think we owe her a big aplogy for trying to get her to Stop some of these

> behaviors after seeing the therapist who misslead us to think it was

behavioral

> becuase I think that has added to her frustration and acting out more towards

> us.  She probably is angry that we didn't understand that she couldn't help

it. 

> The therapist just kept saying " be the parent " and " she will get over it when

> she chooses " and now I see that was completely wrong and I am upset about it

> believe me!

> Also I am going to take your advice and try the ERP with her hand washing

> tonight. 

>

> Oh, one thing I find amazing is that she recently joined the Intramural

> Volleyball which practices twice a week after school.  It's great she is able

to

> still do things like that and it ok with it.

> Another scary thing that you made me remember is that she tells me that she

does

> hear a different voice than her own in her head.  She says it's her thoughts

but

> a different voice.  She will pray against it while in the shower and this is

how

> she decided on her own to deal with it. I found out about it while hearing her

> talking to herself one night in the shower and asking her what she was

saying. 

> She goes to a very loving Christian School so she tries to understand her

> problems in relation to her faith.

> Have to run..I know I have so much to say so I appreciate all the support

> greatly,

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

BJ

This is just so odd how every day I am on this site I see another behavior that

we didn't recognize as being OCD before.  Yes, my daughter has an unnerving

habit of telling the truth..especially when someone with discresion would know

not to say anything.  I just thought she had good morals but it goes way beyond

that because she cannot handle keeping a secret either.  I love her being

honest

with me because then I can protect her but I worry about the rest of the

world. 

Also from your other thought earlier today I did click on the link to look for

therapists in this area, within 10 miles and 11 are listed but a few don't list

treating children and the first I called sounds good but doesn't take Tricare

and told me that it will be very hard to find someone in OC who does and who

treats OCD.  I will call more tomorrow when my daughter isn't within ear

shot. 

I thought I would hear from her Dr today about the allergy referral but I

didn't.  That doesn't mean that it isn't in the process though so I am hopeful

to hear early next week.  My allergist did the drops press on test on my arms

and the blood drops on me to check immediate and delayed reactions but since

is so phobic of these tests I don't want to take her there because he

isn't the friendliest Dr and he is very old about to retire so that would scare

her too probably.  That's why I am going to try to find a pediatric office for

the tests or do them through the mail.

Another frustrating habit of 's is using a whole lot of tp when using the

rr each time.  She has been obsessed with feeling like she isn't dry enough for

a year or so...wow another revelation about how she did have little OCD symptoms

all along but just thought they were bad habits.

She also off and on picks a lot at her skin.  She will turn a cut or scrape

that

is tiny into a continual open wound by picking off the scab but lately she

hasn't done that one.  I know when it starts because there will be little drops

of blood all over her sheets on her bed.

________________________________

To:

Sent: Fri, February 4, 2011 1:10:40 PM

Subject: Re: New to the Group

 

Hi, .

I'm not surprised the therapist told you those things. There are many therapists

out there, who say they know how to treat OCD, yet they don't. They try to apply

techniques that do not work with OCD. We went through a number of them, over the

years, before we found someone who understands OCD and how to treat it

correcetly with CBT and most importantly, ERP. The difference was amazing.

That is odd about her not using soap. . .But, OCD can be very peculiar. It will

freak out about one thing and shrug off another.

For example, our son has a lot of contamination issues, yet he will pick up food

off of the floor and eat it. Freaks me out. lol I don't like him doing that, but

he just shrugs it off. Yet, he will get really upset over something else that

seems trivial, because his OCD feels it is contaminated. That's the nature of

OCD.

The voice thing definitely needs to be told to the therapist, when you find one.

Some with OCD say they hear a voice in their head, but it is just the thoughts.

That needs to be sorted out by a professional though.

And if you don't know already, there is a form of OCD called Scrupulosity. We

are Christians and also believe in prayer, but found our son, at one point,

really freaking out about religion and anything to do with the Bible. It was

Scrupulosity at work. It can also come out in the form of being extremely moral,

needing to tell the truth about everything, even if it causes problems. .

Sometimes even prompting " confessing " .

I don't know it that applies to your daughter, but just wanted to mention it, so

you would be aware. There is nothing wrong with praying against something, but

if you find it becomes very worrisome for her, you might want to read up on

Scrupulosity and see if you think it applies. It did for our son, for a period

of time.

Glad you found our group, . Many here have been where you are and are

so happy to share what worked for them, to help another.

Blessings,

BJ

>

> BJ,

> Actually I didn't mention it but I do put cortaid on her hands at night but

>that

>

> is the only time she lets me and usually sneaks to the rr to wash her hands

> again afterward because she feels icky again.  The Cortaid calms the excema

>down

>

> from the washing some.  You may be surprised to know that often she doesn't

>use

>

> soap to wash because she feels that the act of getting her hands rinsed off in

> enough.  I found that really odd when I saw her doing that but maybe that

is

> common? 

>

> I think we owe her a big aplogy for trying to get her to Stop some of these

> behaviors after seeing the therapist who misslead us to think it was

behavioral

>

> becuase I think that has added to her frustration and acting out more towards

> us.  She probably is angry that we didn't understand that she couldn't help

>it. 

>

> The therapist just kept saying " be the parent " and " she will get over it when

> she chooses " and now I see that was completely wrong and I am upset about it

> believe me!

> Also I am going to take your advice and try the ERP with her hand washing

> tonight. 

>

> Oh, one thing I find amazing is that she recently joined the Intramural

> Volleyball which practices twice a week after school.  It's great she is

able

>to

>

> still do things like that and it ok with it.

> Another scary thing that you made me remember is that she tells me that she

>does

>

> hear a different voice than her own in her head.  She says it's her

thoughts

>but

>

> a different voice.  She will pray against it while in the shower and this

is

>how

>

> she decided on her own to deal with it. I found out about it while hearing her

> talking to herself one night in the shower and asking her what she was

>saying. 

>

> She goes to a very loving Christian School so she tries to understand her

> problems in relation to her faith.

> Have to run..I know I have so much to say so I appreciate all the support

> greatly,

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, yes. . The bathroom issues that can come with OCD. . .

Lot of toilet paper, plugged toilets, feeling like they haven't gone completely,

not being able to get " dry " enough, changing underwear constantly.. .I know them

well. (

I can tell you that our son outgrew some of them, but still copes with some.

I wonder if your daughter is " skin picking " . I'm not as familiar with it, but

know that it can go with the territory. There are some in here who deal with

that, who, if they see this, might be able to offer some info. I've noticed

that some therapists list it as part of their treatment offered.

If you find a therapist who doesn't treat children, ask them for names of

someone who does. That is what I did, then followed every lead. It took me

some time because we don't have many up here that treat OCD with CBT/ERP.

The other thing is, you might have a hard time finding one who takes insurance.

None in our state did, at first. Our insurance would cover them, but only after

we met a HUGE deductible. And we had to submit the paperwork. We did it for

the first year, just to get him some capable help, but it was expensive.

I hope you can find someone down there who does take insurance.

You might also look for anxiety clinics in your area. They often understand OCD

and how to treat it correctly, because it is an anxiety disorder. Just another

option to try.

BJ

>

> BJ

> This is just so odd how every day I am on this site I see another behavior

that

> we didn't recognize as being OCD before.  Yes, my daughter has an unnerving

> habit of telling the truth..especially when someone with discresion would know

> not to say anything.  I just thought she had good morals but it goes way

beyond

> that because she cannot handle keeping a secret either.  I love her being

honest

> with me because then I can protect her but I worry about the rest of the

world. 

>

> Also from your other thought earlier today I did click on the link to look for

> therapists in this area, within 10 miles and 11 are listed but a few don't

list

> treating children and the first I called sounds good but doesn't take Tricare

> and told me that it will be very hard to find someone in OC who does and who

> treats OCD.  I will call more tomorrow when my daughter isn't within ear

shot. 

>

> I thought I would hear from her Dr today about the allergy referral but I

> didn't.  That doesn't mean that it isn't in the process though so I am

hopeful

> to hear early next week.  My allergist did the drops press on test on my arms

> and the blood drops on me to check immediate and delayed reactions but since

> is so phobic of these tests I don't want to take her there because he

> isn't the friendliest Dr and he is very old about to retire so that would

scare

> her too probably.  That's why I am going to try to find a pediatric office

for

> the tests or do them through the mail.

> Another frustrating habit of 's is using a whole lot of tp when using the

> rr each time.  She has been obsessed with feeling like she isn't dry enough

for

> a year or so...wow another revelation about how she did have little OCD

symptoms

> all along but just thought they were bad habits.

>

> She also off and on picks a lot at her skin.  She will turn a cut or scrape

that

> is tiny into a continual open wound by picking off the scab but lately she

> hasn't done that one.  I know when it starts because there will be little

drops

> of blood all over her sheets on her bed.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi le, welcome!

Glad to hear you found a therapist for your daughter. How long has she been

having OC behaviors?

My son, now 22, had OCD begin in 6th grade, around age 11.5. But he had his

" quirks " before that, just nothing that was 24/7 daily. Like I had noted in

elementary school he would trace over & over letters, other little things, and

think " hmmm...a little OCD there. " Ha! nothing like when he burst forth with

OCD in 6th grade. Nightmare!

Sorry dad isn't understanding this. Does he understand, believe, she has OCD?

Hopefully the therapist may be able to help him understand?

Have you visited the OCD Foundation website? Lots of good information there for

you and for dad.

Homework - we had problems there too. Is the school being understanding? We

had to set up a 504 Plan for my son. Got him some accommodations and

modifications to help him.

What type OC behaviors is your daughter dealing with?

single mom, 3 sons

, 22, with OCD, dysgraphia, Aspergers

>

> my little girl is 9 and was recently diagnoised. she is starting therapy this

week, the cbt. i do not really have any support. my husband justdoes not want

to make any allowences for her and if it is not his way then she is out of luck,

especially with her homework. trying really hard to get the through this.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi le,

My husband pretty well lets me handle everything with the therapy and the meds.

with my daughter. It's kind of always been that way with me and the children. I

am a SAHM and he works very long hours all year long. So I am the one with the

kids the most. So if I tell him that allowances have to be made for Amy's OCD,

then he says whatever you say I am the one who does the reading up on

everything,makes the phone calls to the Dr.'s,goes to her appts. with her ,etc.

I more or less just let him know how the appts. go and if there's anything new

to report. When I feel I need to talk to others I come here to get support and

advice and they are great here They have been very helpful to me with many

questions I've had since this all began. This group is pretty much my support

and I am so greatful for it!!!

I'm sure your husband will come around as far as the allowances go with your

daughter. My dh did attend the first couple meetings with the Dr.'s , so they

explained to both of us how things had to be at least until the CBT got underway

exclusively. I think hearing it from them , made a difference too. So hopefully

the same will happen for your husband.

All the best to you and your daughter.

God Bless

> >

> > my little girl is 9 and was recently diagnoised. she is starting therapy

this week, the cbt. i do not really have any support. my husband justdoes not

want to make any allowences for her and if it is not his way then she is out of

luck, especially with her homework. trying really hard to get the through

this.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

since dec, and he has ocd also but never received help. i think he feels if he

makes any kind of allownece he is giving in. i am really hoping that the cbt is

going to work. he was just hoping it would go away. i am trying hard to keep

things normal, but find a balance. thank you for th esupport

> >

> > my little girl is 9 and was recently diagnoised. she is starting therapy

this week, the cbt. i do not really have any support. my husband justdoes not

want to make any allowences for her and if it is not his way then she is out of

luck, especially with her homework. trying really hard to get the through

this.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi le,

Welcome! You've come to the right place for support and understanding.

In terms of your husband, it is not uncommon that one parent is more

sympathetic, and the other " tougher " . In a way your husband has the right idea,

you don't want to " accommodate " the OCD, but you do need to be understanding and

learn how to work with it. They cannot just stop, or do something when they

don't feel able, it is a gradual process. Your husband should come to

understand this with time, and witnessing how the ERP works. I think it is

quite common that parents are not always on the same page, but it is important

to get there, for everyone's sake.

When you start ERP you will attend at least part of the sessions with your

daughter. Do make sure this is addressed. You can go to the ocfoundation

website too and print off their brochure. In it they address the fact that how

the family responds to the person with OCD impacts their recovery. Whether it's

being harsh, or too accommodating, both are problematic.

It's also quite common that OCD runs in the family. Just a thought/wondering,

could your husband have OCD, or it be in his family, and he is afraid for his

daughter to have this too? It is not something anyone wants for their child,

and we all wish it would just go away. But it IS a chronic disorder, and part

of the recovery is acceptance of this. It CAN be managed. You are on your way

since you will be starting ERP/CBT. Keep us posted with this!

Warmly,

Barb

Canada

Son, 19, OCD, Autism Spectrum - doing well for almost 3yrs.

> > >

> > > my little girl is 9 and was recently diagnoised. she is starting therapy

this week, the cbt. i do not really have any support. my husband justdoes not

want to make any allowences for her and if it is not his way then she is out of

luck, especially with her homework. trying really hard to get the through

this.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, le. Welcome to the group. I see you got some replies, but just wanted

to say " hi " and tell you I'm glad you found out group.

I hope she does well with therapy. The ERP really helped our son.

My husband was the same, at first. But as we learned to fight OCD, as a family,

he learned more about it and how to cope with it. I hope the same happens for

you. The therapist should be able to help the whole family understand OCD

better and how to work together, with the therapy, to help overcome it.

BJ

>

> my little girl is 9 and was recently diagnoised. she is starting therapy this

week, the cbt. i do not really have any support. my husband justdoes not want

to make any allowences for her and if it is not his way then she is out of luck,

especially with her homework. trying really hard to get the through this.

>