Re: not cooperating with therapy

November 23, 2010

You can try to also use a behavior management plan. If she does

her OCD homework she gets some small reward (tv time).

My daughter too won't cooperate willingly, but I started at 11

with a behaviorist.

Perhaps if you alternate with the Therapist and a behaviorist.

I contacted Yale's parent and child conduct clinic to help

coach me over the phone. They have really helped me gain cooperation and shape

the behaviors we wanted.

Pam

>

> 6yo dd saw therapist first time Nov. 11th. Therapist wanted her to keep track

of how many times she wasn't able to stop her counting compulsion and make tally

marks in a little notebook. I talked with the classroom teacher and told her

that Malina may need to put tally marks in a book for her anxiety. I gave

Malina a little teeny notebook. She did this for 3 days and now refuses to do

it anymore. Does not want to talk about her counting either. Doesn't want

anyone to know and gets mad at me when I ask her about it. Not sure if we'll

see the therapist again. I hate to pay for sessions if Malina won't cooperate.

You all know how expensive they are...even after insurance! Any thoughts? BTW:

I did order and started the book with her, " What to do when your brain gets

stuck. "

> Becky in N.D.

>

November 24, 2010

OCD homework at school is not fair. My son would never do it. school is school

and you just have to get through it the best you can. Just doing that probably

takes all their energy. Would she be willing to do it all the times in 1 hour

at home then extrapolate that information?

We made all screen time( tv, computer etc) dpendent on some behavioral goals-

gave minute for minute screen time for any time engaged with OCD homework or

therapy. So, you do an hour of therapy, you get an hour of tv (read computer

games or whatever), you write down your check marks for an hour, you get an hour

of TV, You do 20 min ERP, you get 20 min etc. The only time he got was the

time he earned. This included all video games, tv , computer, electronics.

TV may not drive your child- you need to involve them in choosing the reward.

There should also be a bigger reward on weekly or monthly basis for cooperation

( special time with mom or dad, sleepover with favorite friend, go the the

movies etc or some small toy) and a really big reward after completion of any

intensive ERP program. Again, the child guides the reward. The parent agrees or

vetos the reward based on thier finances , values etc. Sometimes though, you as

a parent need to strech your comfort zone on the rewards- ie I had to give out

more screen time than I was comfortable with and got my 14 year old a cell

phone as a " big prize " after completion of a 14 week intensive ERP program. I

had always said I would never let him get a cell phone. But the benefits of

having OCD in the family include getting making you a better parent in the end

and bringing more flexibility to everyone in the family (kid, siblings and

parents).

We also did hypnosis and implanted the idea under hypnotic suggestion that he

would engage with therapy. ( posted about it last week I think). I am not sure

which if any of those things worked but he is doing better. This was at age 13

Oh yeah, and meds when he was 8 because he was so freaked out and not eating and

wouldn't engage and we had no time to work on it due to not eating or drinking.

( he was dx at age 3)

Good luck

November 24, 2010

Hi Becky,

My wondering is if your daughter feels embarrassed about doing this at school.

Other kids may have noticed, and that's a big deal for a kid.

If it was only the first time she saw the therapist, there is a learning curve

for everyone around what will work. It is pretty common that they get mad and

don't want to talk to Mum/Dad about it. That's why a therapist can be so

helpful, they are neutral, and if she can build a good relationship with him/her

they will figure out what will work together. It can take some time to build

this trust too.

Also common that they resist doing their OCD homework - it's hard!, and

generally triggers off the OCD. I'd say keep going with the therapist to really

give this a chance, unless you don't have confidence in their abilities.

Warmly,

Barb