Re: I hate nightime

[Guest guest]

There are a few different strategies as a parent you can

use to be soothing but it is not necessarily a treatment

plan.

As painful as it will be for you, you can acknowledge that it

must be hard for him to have to deal with this all day.

You validate his struggle and not the content of what he

is saying so much. It is heartbreaking though to acknowledge

how much sadness he has in his day.

My daughter's thoughts were more extreme at night until

she took zoloft. Everything seems worse when you are

tried. I started on zoloft myself at a low dose, it

helped my own thinking in the evening. So I could

be a more supportive person.

You can plan with him some soothing things you can do for him

because you know it is hard for him, rub his back, something

he likes.

He needs help though either with therapy or medication.

Pam

>

> Every night my son tells me all of his bad thoughts throughout the day. And I

try to listen and have patience with him but some times it is so hard for me.

What kind of responses do you all give when you hear about bad thoughts?

>

[Guest guest]

I just keep repeating everything she tells me. Like if she says " I hate that

Peggy " I say " You hate that Peggy? " and it seem to stop. If I say nothing she

gets aggressive and mean. She wants me to say I hate that person too, and she

doesn't stop until I give in usually. On medication, I can get away with just

repeating what she says. It is horrible at night when your so exhausted. Sorry

for you.

> Every night my son tells me all of his bad thoughts throughout the day. And I

try to listen and have patience with him but some times it is so hard for me.

What kind of responses do you all give when you hear about bad thoughts?

>

>

[Guest guest]

You might want to limit the amount of time he spends telling you about it or the

number of times a day you hear it. We have had to resort to this too. My son's

therapist told him to write it down for her and not tell me about it as much.

One thing about it though, it's a good measure of his anxiety. The more he

tells you, the more anxious he is, the more you can tell his care providers.

Sometimes I tell not to tell me what he thinks, rather tell me what he

needs - this helps to clarify whether his motives are for reassurance or because

he wants to know what to do about his thoughts. SOmetimes Matt tells me his

thoughts in order to get reassurance and that can be compulsive and that's where

the limitation comes in. Anxiety is worse at night and so unloading it to you

may be his way of getting relief before he goes to bed.

If your son is younger, you can give him say 6 pieces of paper (or a number

somewhere near the amount of times he tells you things)...he gives you a piece

of paper every time he tells you about his thoughts for a specified amount of

time, and when all the papers are gone, he can't say it anymore....you decrease

the numbert of papers over time. That will help you feel better too because you

know there will be an end to it.

Good luck,

Bonnie

>

> Every night my son tells me all of his bad thoughts throughout the day. And I

try to listen and have patience with him but some times it is so hard for me.

What kind of responses do you all give when you hear about bad thoughts?

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I always ask my son, " Is it you saying that, or is it the OCD saying it " because

I'm only interested in what you are saying

I tell him that I don't listen to OCD at all because that is not a part of him.

My dd has ocd also, but she doesn't tell me her thoughts. I have to pry them out

of her, and sometimes I don't know which is worse

Hugs

Judy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thu, December 2, 2010 10:32:02 AM

Subject: Re: I hate nightime

I just keep repeating everything she tells me. Like if she says " I hate that

Peggy " I say " You hate that Peggy? " and it seem to stop. If I say nothing she

gets aggressive and mean. She wants me to say I hate that person too, and she

doesn't stop until I give in usually. On medication, I can get away with just

repeating what she says. It is horrible at night when your so exhausted. Sorry

for you.

> Every night my son tells me all of his bad thoughts throughout the day. And I

>try to listen and have patience with him but some times it is so hard for me.

>What kind of responses do you all give when you hear about bad thoughts?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have a really hard time getting my son to share his anxious thoughts, and our

therapists do as well, so on the one hand it might be good to know what he is

thinking so you can have your therapist address those issues. But I agree that

it would be exhausting to have to listen to them every night, and probably

disturbing too. We always tell our son that they are just thoughts without any

power and that they don't mean anything, and that everyone has random thoughts

that might be strange to them. This message seems to be helping.

Regards,

Marcelle

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> > Every night my son tells me all of his bad thoughts throughout the day. And

I

> >try to listen and have patience with him but some times it is so hard for me.

> >What kind of responses do you all give when you hear about bad thoughts?

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