Re: Re: sad reality, BJ

[Guest guest]

BJ,

My prayers are with you and Josh.

It was a very sad day when I had to tell my son that nothing not even the

" coveted college education " was worth his health. He wanted so much to have his

own apt across from campus and be a happy college student. His OCD overwhelmed

him. He was stuck and couldn't get out of his apt or get to sleep because of the

checking rituals. I told him it was ok to come home --- college will always be

there.

I wanted to be so strong for him . The truth was I was terrified his very severe

onset of OCD would return after 6 years of fighting to get his OCD under

control.

Thank you for always being there for us sharing your wealth of knowledge and

compassion.

You are sincerely appreciated .

Wishing you and Josh peace of mind.

Dana

Dana -Kennedy

Re: sad reality, BJ

Awww, Becky. You are so kind.

Such wise, heartfelt words. Thank you.

He is depressed and relieved, as he oscillates back and forth, about what to do.

He's agonizing. He wants to leave so he can feel relieved, but can't bring

himself to do it. <sigh>

Hugs,

BJ

>

> BJ,

> So sorry about Josh and the fact that he may have to quit school. How is he

doing with that idea? Is he depressed or relieved? He is a smart young man,

other opportunities will come along for him. They won't be the same as his

wonderful $80,000 scholarship, but there will be opportunities (amd in the long

run, they may be better for him). His priority now is to get healthy. Sometimes

what we really want, isn't always what's best for us. Rely on your faith and

your knowledge that God has a plan and a purpose for him.

>

> Praying for you, crying with you!

> Love and blessings,

> Becky

>

[Guest guest]

Bj, does he get a Thanksgiving break next week that maybe you could get a better

sense of where he is truly at? Could he take a day or 2 off of having to do any

work? If I look at the situation you describe, with doing 12 hours of homework a

day and barely getting any sleep, I can certainly see the thought of doing that

for 4 more weeks being completely overwhelming whether you have OCD or not. It

sounds to me like a recipe for disaster. I know brilliant people without OCD,

who have cracked under way less pressure. I think it is a matter of figuring out

where he really is. Is he too ill or will become too ill if he continues? If so,

a scholarship to a great school is really irrelevant. If it is a confidence

thing getting in his way, then I think you ride it out. He hasn't attended

school in quite awhile, right? Could that be factoring into this? I know some

homeschoolers who have done great and others who haven't. If it is that, I would

keep pushing him. Again, you have to figure out how close he is to his breaking

point. Without your health, you have nothing. I am praying that today will be a

better day. Take Care, Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 10:35:47 PM

Subject: Re: sad reality, BJ

I don't want to err on the wrong side. Know what I mean (with the consequences

being so serious)? Yet, can't know which way is the way to go either.

I asked him if he thought he could make it until the end of the semester, to see

what his grades are, and told him he could get rested up then, but he seemed

overwhelmed by the thought of going 4 more weeks even.

[Guest guest]

BJ,

I'm not all the way caught up with the posts yet, so you may have

already answered this. If the endocrinologist will see him in the

morning much sooner and you feel it may be a matter of life and death,

why can't he miss class for a morning? It seems like a better solution

than quitting school altogether. Does he have friends that can take

notes and help him later that day? I'm sure this isn't the first time

someone has had to miss class. College kids get sick too.

Another thought. I know you said that this school does not do financial

aid and it's been 20 years since I've been to college, so what do I

know? But, is there anyway, if he slows his pace, lowers his

expectations (and probably his GPA), loses his scholarship, that he can

take out a loan for the last 3 years? I know it will be a lot, but if

it's such a lucrative field, he could pay that back fairly quickly,

right? I'm sure other kids not on scholarship have found a way to pay

for it if their parents can't afford it.

Just my rambling thoughts and I'm sure you've already thought of all of

this because you are so wise. :-) Sorry this is such a hard time for

both of you!

Dina