Rugby World Cup Rules...

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Of course, this could apply to me as well!!! I think I am keener about it all than Craig is. I still cannot work out why he will not take me!!!!!

DEAR WOMEN

Subject: RUGBY WORLD CUP RULES 1. From 7 Sep to 20 October 2007, you should read the sportssection of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going onregarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in theconversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at ina bad way, or you will be totally ignored.

DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention. 2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, the VCR and DVD are all mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take aglimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distractingme. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you putclothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to takeyou to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I requirea refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind ifyou expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs inthe fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over towatch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12pm and 3pm,

unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of myteams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, it's only a game', or don'tworry, they'll win next time'. If you say these things, you will only makeme angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about rugby than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead

to a break up or divorce.7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talkto me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftimes score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying 'one' game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to'spend time together'.8. The replays of the tries are very important. I don't care if Ihave seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Manytimes, and record them.9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other childrelated parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a. I will not go, b. I will not go, and c. I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watcha game, we will be there in a flash. 11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying'but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel tosomething we can all watch??', the reply will be: 'Refer to Rule #2 of this list'.12. Please save your expressions such as 'Thank goodness the WorldCup is only every 4 years'. I am immune to these words, because after this,

comes the re-runs of the Rugby World Cup, etc etc...Thank you for your cooperation. Regards Men of the world