Re: Teen Love, Test Taking, & OCD

[Guest guest]

Peggy, do you know why she won't use the accommodations at school? It seems

extra time, quiet room, and maybe breaks during the test so she can take time to

get her mind back on the test would be the best way to try to deal with her test

issues. Does she have any problem actually attending school? Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sat, November 6, 2010 12:32:07 PM

Subject: Teen Love, Test Taking, & OCD

Hi,

My daughter is almost 16. She is highly capable (99th percentile) and has

obsessions and compulsions, but mostly obsessions. Rarely does she do well on

quizzes and tests even when she studies. I believe the obsessions get in the

way during test taking. What is the best way to deal with that? Last year we

did a 504 for test accommodations for extra time or for a quiet room, but she

has never used them.

[Guest guest]

Peggy, do you know why she won't use the accommodations at school?

I think she doesn't want to single herself out as different and needing the

accommodations. She is an A/B student. Could easily be an A student if she

could get the test taking down. Has one IB (International Baccalaureate) class

this year and the next two years will have many. They are challenging.

Peggy

[Guest guest]

Hi Peggy,

You don't mention if your daughter has done ERP and is working this? If not,

that would be THE starting place. Not sure how severe her OCD is, but if it is

significantly interfering with her being able to do schoolwork and she can't do

the ERP to manage it, then it might be time to consider medication, if the

inositol if it is not helping enough.

As the other person mentioned teens hate to stand out, and it's pretty common

that they forgo accommodations at school that make them stand out. Stopping the

inositol may be her way of rejecting the OCD, not wanting to have to do anything

to remember she has it, or maybe not wanting to need anything, or even thinking

she doesn't need it anymore. They need to assert their independence, and want

to make the decisions. Kind of need to have a conversation and do a reality

check, DAILY!!!

The older they get the more sophisticated their obsessions can get, so you never

know what's going on in there... She may not even know what is getting in the

way of doing the tests. It could be " just right " stuff, where something just

has to go a certain way, or feel a certain way, they can't really describe or

explain this. Or it could be perfectionism, and she could be afraid to write

anything because it's not good enough. She may " just " get stuck, and not able to

answer questions, or write. The possibilities are endless. If she is a

typical teen, they are not inclined to share this information, that's if they

even know.

It could be that she can't focus on anything because her mind is so taken up

with the obsessions. Does she have difficulty sleeping? This will affect

everything.

If she does understand ERP, and is willing, and if you CAN get her to share what

happens during test taking, you can work a plan for how to gradually overcome

whatever the issue is. Does she have a psychologist who she has worked with, or

do you have a OCD workbook?

Don't know anything about teen love and OCD, but would imagine they could become

obsessive about it. On the other hand it might be an area where she is so

invested in having a relationship, that she fights back the OCD. I'm sure it's

individual, and I would imagine might depend on the nature of her obsessions.

I do know an adult with OCD who says the thoughts create insecurity around

relationships, cause to second guess everything. If she is able to be open

about the OCD with her boyfriend and tell him not to accomodate it, esp in the

form of reassurance, it could actually be a way to work on the ERP!

Teen years are so hard, for everyone! With OCD attached it's oh so much fun! I

can encourage you that it will get better in a couple years, at least it did

with ours, now 19!

Warmly,

Barb

>

> Hi,

>

> My daughter is almost 16. She is highly capable (99th percentile) and has

obsessions and compulsions, but mostly obsessions. Rarely does she do well on

quizzes and tests even when she studies. I believe the obsessions get in the

way during test taking. What is the best way to deal with that? Last year we

did a 504 for test accommodations for extra time or for a quiet room, but she

has never used them.

>

> Also, she has a boyfriend. Teen love is obsessive enough without throwing in

OCD. What should I know about this? I notice she hasn't been eating lunch.

She fed the dogs cat food last night. She doesn't seem to be paying attention

to anything. Perhaps this is complicating her quiz and test scores?

Suggestions, please?

>

> She has been on Inositol since she was 11, however, over the summer she

stopped taking it. We have been on a mission to prepare it for her every

morning and evening again, but we get the big groans everytime. We are slowly

moving back up to her dosage.

>

> Thank you!

>

> Peggy

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Barbara. No, she doesn't have a therapist nor has she officially

done ERP. We have done some unofficial ERP with things around the house like

sweeping the floor. Of course, she doesn't think she needs a therapist. I know

she mentioned to a friend one day something after empty chairs at school

bothering her like when someone is absent.

I'm honestly not sure how severe her OCD is. She did meet with a psychologist

last spring so we could get a written diagnosis for the 504 plan. His letter

states she has obsessions and compulsions. In reality, she seems to get by

pretty well. When we figured this out in 4th grade (had been going on since 1st

grade for sure maybe kindergarten) just knowing what it was and the inositol

made a huge difference. She did see someone in 4th and 5th grade and then it

just so happened that that counselor was also the PT counselor at her middle

school. I am hoping she will use the high school counselor and they will

suggest it. They are the ones that suggested the testing accommodations and she

asked me to call them about setting up the 504 plan.

I think I will order her The OCD Workbook. I think that is something she will

use private in her room. You are correct she doesn't tell me much about it and

never really has. It came as such a relief for her when she told me and I

figured out what was going on with her (I have a M.Ed. in Guidance and

Counseling and a M.S. in Psychology). This book might open up the dialogue a

bit also.

Thank you!

Peggy

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > My daughter is almost 16. She is highly capable (99th percentile) and has

obsessions and compulsions, but mostly obsessions. Rarely does she do well on

quizzes and tests even when she studies. I believe the obsessions get in the

way during test taking. What is the best way to deal with that? Last year we

did a 504 for test accommodations for extra time or for a quiet room, but she

has never used them.

> >

> > Also, she has a boyfriend. Teen love is obsessive enough without throwing

in OCD. What should I know about this? I notice she hasn't been eating

lunch. She fed the dogs cat food last night. She doesn't seem to be paying

attention to anything. Perhaps this is complicating her quiz and test scores?

Suggestions, please?

> >

> > She has been on Inositol since she was 11, however, over the summer she

stopped taking it. We have been on a mission to prepare it for her every

morning and evening again, but we get the big groans everytime. We are slowly

moving back up to her dosage.

> >

> > Thank you!

> >

> > Peggy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Peggy,

There are a couple of workbooks, but she might find the March one easiest

to read and relate to. It is geared to teens and their parents. " Talking Back

to OCD " " The program that helps kids and teens say no way, and parents say " way

to go " , by March.

She might also like " Brain Lock " , it explains what is happening in the brain

with OCD, and how ERP works to repattern the brain. I find it one of the best

books for explaining the whole mechanism in a very straightforward way.

There is a complete list of books at the ocfoundation.org website, with

description and age appropriateness.

I also wanted to say that our son has LD. He has an auditory processing

deficit, as well as visual processing issues, amongst other things....and that

added to the OCD when it came along made schoolwork virtually impossible, until

the OCD was brought under control. In fact I think it may well have been going

on when he was younger too, we just didn't know. He can now read much more

easily than he ever could, he never, ever read a book, except doing schoolwork,

painfully, until he had learned to manage the OCD. At 17yrs old he read his

first novel! Has your daughter ever been assessed, the psycho educational

assessment? She may be receptive to this if she is struggling this much. It

can be a relief for them to learn there is a reason, same as with the OCD.

So hard when they are not receptive to seeing someone. I wonder if she really

understood how the ERP works, and what a therapist would be doing, ie not

psychoanalyzing her, if you know what I mean. I know this is my son's concern,

and unfortunately his experiences have not been great. Tends to be a teen thing

to reject any ideas anyway. Just thinking if there might be a way for it to

become her idea? The workbook would get her started thinking in this direction

anyway.

To encourage you, our son learned the principles of OCD from one very good ERP

doctor, and eventually learned how to work them on his own. He never would do

formal ERP with a doctor. We don't really have any doctors in our area that

have a very high level of expertise to work with severe OCD, so they were at a

loss with our son. He figured out that if he was going to get better he'd have

to do it himself, which is truly what they need to do anyway - and it saved us a

bundle!!!

So, if they understand, they can do it on their own. In fact this is what they

need to do, to learn how to work with their own particular obsessions, the

doctor just teaches them the tools of ERP, then they morph them to suit.

Hang in there! You have my total empathy on dealing with a teen with OCD!!! It

gets better!

Warmly,

Barb

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > My daughter is almost 16. She is highly capable (99th percentile) and has

obsessions and compulsions, but mostly obsessions. Rarely does she do well on

quizzes and tests even when she studies. I believe the obsessions get in the

way during test taking. What is the best way to deal with that? Last year we

did a 504 for test accommodations for extra time or for a quiet room, but she

has never used them.

> > >

> > > Also, she has a boyfriend. Teen love is obsessive enough without throwing

in OCD. What should I know about this? I notice she hasn't been eating

lunch. She fed the dogs cat food last night. She doesn't seem to be paying

attention to anything. Perhaps this is complicating her quiz and test scores?

Suggestions, please?

> > >

> > > She has been on Inositol since she was 11, however, over the summer she

stopped taking it. We have been on a mission to prepare it for her every

morning and evening again, but we get the big groans everytime. We are slowly

moving back up to her dosage.

> > >

> > > Thank you!

> > >

> > > Peggy

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Barbara! I will check into all of your recomendations. We have read

some books. I think I may hve read Brain Lock.

Peggy