Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 - welcome! I know you will get a lot of responses - especially to the religious issues (thinking he committed a sin). While your son has obsessions, try to remember as well that he is a 15 year old boy... some of the things you mention are simply due to that (typical teen - doesn't care about school or grades, doesn't want to get up in the morning, etc). Sometimes it is difficult to separate the issues at hand - whether they are OCD related or simply a part of growing up and being a teenager. My daughter was diagnosed at 13 yrs. She experienced different obsessions/compulsions than your son (her's were centered around germs), but most families experience the frustration you describe. My husband had a real hard time coping... mostly because there was little he could help with since most of our daughters issues centered around being in the bathroom - I was the only family member who could physically be with her to help her through episodes. Stay tuned to this board.... you will get lots of help here. LT In a message dated 10/20/2010 9:31:32 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, bolt9273@... writes: Hi! I'm new to the group and I have a 15 year old son with OCD, depression, and anxiety. I joined the group because I have no one that I can really talk to about this who understands. Even my own husband gets very upset talking about our son, Austin. My husband's father has OCD, but besides that, I don't know of any other family history. I had a very high stress pregnancy with Austin and he seemed to come out very anxious and overly sensitive from the get go. Austin and his father don't get along very good so that adds stress to an already stressful situation. On top of that, Austin is very disobedient and defiant, usually in a very passive aggressive way. Today for example, he would not get out of bed for school. He kept on saying he would, but he didn't get up until it was time for us to leave. He ended up being 30 minutes late for school. I'm so frustrated. He just doesn't care about anything real! All he cares about are his obsessive thoughts. His newest one is that he committed an unforgiveable sin and he's going to go to hell. Does anyone else have problems getting their kid to go to bed at night and wake up for school in the morning? What do you do? How do you get these kids to care about their grades and other family members. Austin is the most self-centered person I have ever met. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] ------------------------------------ Our list archives feature may be accessed at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// by scrolling down to the archives calendar . Our links may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//links . Our files may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//files . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ), Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D. ( http://www.massgeneral.org/doctors/doctor.aspx?ID=18068 ). You may ask a question of any of these mental health professionals by inserting the words " Ask Dr.(insert name) " in the subject line of a post to the list. Our list moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and Barb Nesrallah. You may contact the moderators at -owner .. OCDKidsLoop membership may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdkidsloop/ . Our group and related groups are listed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links . IOCDF treatment providers list may be viewed at http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php . NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugp ortal . IOCDF recommended reading list may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.org/Books.aspx . IOCDF glossary of terms may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.org/glossary.aspx . IOCDF membership link may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.net/membership/ . Drugs.com pill identification wizard may be accessed at http://www.drugs.com/imprints.php . Mayo Clinic Drug and Herb Index may be accessed at http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DrugHerbIndex .Yahoo! Groups Links Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 My daughter went through some therapy sessions and was put on the generic form of Prozac. She stayed on it for about a year. I was totally against putting her on meds... at first. Then things became so horrible for her, we felt we had no choice and did. It was the best decision we ever made for her. You will not find my opinion consistent throughout the board. As with everything dealing with people... everyone is different and reacts differently to the same thing. The idea behind meds is that they help you to calm down and think straight so you can concentrate on therapy. This worked tremendously well for our daughter. She is 19 now and lives away at college. She is doing fine. We watch her carefully and she is aware of the signs to watch for in herself and her behavior. We can only hope & pray there is not a recurrence of the OCD symptoms. She was only on meds for about year. LT In a message dated 10/20/2010 10:21:36 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, bolt9273@... writes: Thanks. We went through body dismorphic stuff about a year ago and that definitely made my son stay in the bathroom for hours at a time. Is that what your daughter is going through? Subject: Re: hi - I'm new To: Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 10:12 AM - welcome! I know you will get a lot of responses - especially to the religious issues (thinking he committed a sin). While your son has obsessions, try to remember as well that he is a 15 year old boy... some of the things you mention are simply due to that (typical teen - doesn't care about school or grades, doesn't want to get up in the morning, etc). Sometimes it is difficult to separate the issues at hand - whether they are OCD related or simply a part of growing up and being a teenager. My daughter was diagnosed at 13 yrs. She experienced different obsessions/compulsions than your son (her's were centered around germs), but most families experience the frustration you describe. My husband had a real hard time coping... mostly because there was little he could help with since most of our daughters issues centered around being in the bathroom - I was the only family member who could physically be with her to help her through episodes. Stay tuned to this board.... you will get lots of help here. LT In a message dated 10/20/2010 9:31:32 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, bolt9273@... writes: Hi! I'm new to the group and I have a 15 year old son with OCD, depression, and anxiety. I joined the group because I have no one that I can really talk to about this who understands. Even my own husband gets very upset talking about our son, Austin. My husband's father has OCD, but besides that, I don't know of any other family history. I had a very high stress pregnancy with Austin and he seemed to come out very anxious and overly sensitive from the get go. Austin and his father don't get along very good so that adds stress to an already stressful situation. On top of that, Austin is very disobedient and defiant, usually in a very passive aggressive way. Today for example, he would not get out of bed for school. He kept on saying he would, but he didn't get up until it was time for us to leave. He ended up being 30 minutes late for school. I'm so frustrated. He just doesn't care about anything real! All he cares about are his obsessive thoughts. His newest one is that he committed an unforgiveable sin and he's going to go to hell. Does anyone else have problems getting their kid to go to bed at night and wake up for school in the morning? What do you do? How do you get these kids to care about their grades and other family members. Austin is the most self-centered person I have ever met. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] ------------------------------------ Our list archives feature may be accessed at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// by scrolling down to the archives calendar . Our links may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//links . Our files may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//files . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ), Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D. ( http://www.massgeneral.org/doctors/doctor.aspx?ID=18068 ). You may ask a question of any of these mental health professionals by inserting the words " Ask Dr.(insert name) " in the subject line of a post to the list. Our list moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and Barb Nesrallah. You may contact the moderators at -owner .. OCDKidsLoop membership may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdkidsloop/ . Our group and related groups are listed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links . IOCDF treatment providers list may be viewed at http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php . NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugp ortal . IOCDF recommended reading list may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.org/Books.aspx . IOCDF glossary of terms may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.org/glossary.aspx . IOCDF membership link may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.net/membership/ . Drugs.com pill identification wizard may be accessed at http://www.drugs.com/imprints.php .. Mayo Clinic Drug and Herb Index may be accessed at http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DrugHerbIndex .Yahoo! Groups Links [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] ------------------------------------ Our list archives feature may be accessed at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// by scrolling down to the archives calendar . Our links may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//links . Our files may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//files . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ), Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D. ( http://www.massgeneral.org/doctors/doctor.aspx?ID=18068 ). You may ask a question of any of these mental health professionals by inserting the words " Ask Dr.(insert name) " in the subject line of a post to the list. Our list moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and Barb Nesrallah. You may contact the moderators at -owner .. OCDKidsLoop membership may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdkidsloop/ . Our group and related groups are listed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links . IOCDF treatment providers list may be viewed at http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php . NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugp ortal . IOCDF recommended reading list may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.org/Books.aspx . IOCDF glossary of terms may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.org/glossary.aspx . IOCDF membership link may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.net/membership/ . Drugs.com pill identification wizard may be accessed at http://www.drugs.com/imprints.php . Mayo Clinic Drug and Herb Index may be accessed at http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DrugHerbIndex .Yahoo! Groups Links Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 Thanks. We went through body dismorphic stuff about a year ago and that definitely made my son stay in the bathroom for hours at a time. Is that what your daughter is going through? Subject: Re: hi - I'm new To: Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 10:12 AM  - welcome! I know you will get a lot of responses - especially to the religious issues (thinking he committed a sin). While your son has obsessions, try to remember as well that he is a 15 year old boy... some of the things you mention are simply due to that (typical teen - doesn't care about school or grades, doesn't want to get up in the morning, etc). Sometimes it is difficult to separate the issues at hand - whether they are OCD related or simply a part of growing up and being a teenager. My daughter was diagnosed at 13 yrs. She experienced different obsessions/compulsions than your son (her's were centered around germs), but most families experience the frustration you describe. My husband had a real hard time coping... mostly because there was little he could help with since most of our daughters issues centered around being in the bathroom - I was the only family member who could physically be with her to help her through episodes. Stay tuned to this board.... you will get lots of help here. LT In a message dated 10/20/2010 9:31:32 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, bolt9273@... writes: Hi! I'm new to the group and I have a 15 year old son with OCD, depression, and anxiety. I joined the group because I have no one that I can really talk to about this who understands. Even my own husband gets very upset talking about our son, Austin. My husband's father has OCD, but besides that, I don't know of any other family history. I had a very high stress pregnancy with Austin and he seemed to come out very anxious and overly sensitive from the get go. Austin and his father don't get along very good so that adds stress to an already stressful situation. On top of that, Austin is very disobedient and defiant, usually in a very passive aggressive way. Today for example, he would not get out of bed for school. He kept on saying he would, but he didn't get up until it was time for us to leave. He ended up being 30 minutes late for school. I'm so frustrated. He just doesn't care about anything real! All he cares about are his obsessive thoughts. His newest one is that he committed an unforgiveable sin and he's going to go to hell. Does anyone else have problems getting their kid to go to bed at night and wake up for school in the morning? What do you do? How do you get these kids to care about their grades and other family members. Austin is the most self-centered person I have ever met. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 Austin is on 100 mg of zoloft. He has been on it for 1 year and now over the last month especially, it seems as if it is not working. Sometimes he says to me that he just wants to be committed and put on such heavy drugs that he'll never have to think again. I feel so heartbroken for him. He has no friends at all and he is so timid, sad, angry, depressed, and miserable. He is in therapy and he's been doing therapy on and off since he was 8 or 9. He has social anxiety so making friends has just never happened for him. Austin just can't seem to put any of the psychologists instructions into play, and therefore, I just don't see any improvement. I even bought the Lucinda Bassett program for him, but he just won't work at it. Austin just wants someone else to fix this for him. He doesn't want to do the work. I wish there was some magic pill that would just totally transform his life. Subject: Re: hi - I'm new To: Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 10:12 AM - welcome! I know you will get a lot of responses - especially to the religious issues (thinking he committed a sin). While your son has obsessions, try to remember as well that he is a 15 year old boy... some of the things you mention are simply due to that (typical teen - doesn't care about school or grades, doesn't want to get up in the morning, etc). Sometimes it is difficult to separate the issues at hand - whether they are OCD related or simply a part of growing up and being a teenager. My daughter was diagnosed at 13 yrs. She experienced different obsessions/compulsions than your son (her's were centered around germs), but most families experience the frustration you describe. My husband had a real hard time coping... mostly because there was little he could help with since most of our daughters issues centered around being in the bathroom - I was the only family member who could physically be with her to help her through episodes. Stay tuned to this board.... you will get lots of help here. LT In a message dated 10/20/2010 9:31:32 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, bolt9273@... writes: Hi! I'm new to the group and I have a 15 year old son with OCD, depression, and anxiety. I joined the group because I have no one that I can really talk to about this who understands. Even my own husband gets very upset talking about our son, Austin. My husband's father has OCD, but besides that, I don't know of any other family history. I had a very high stress pregnancy with Austin and he seemed to come out very anxious and overly sensitive from the get go. Austin and his father don't get along very good so that adds stress to an already stressful situation. On top of that, Austin is very disobedient and defiant, usually in a very passive aggressive way. Today for example, he would not get out of bed for school. He kept on saying he would, but he didn't get up until it was time for us to leave. He ended up being 30 minutes late for school. I'm so frustrated. He just doesn't care about anything real! All he cares about are his obsessive thoughts. His newest one is that he committed an unforgiveable sin and he's going to go to hell. Does anyone else have problems getting their kid to go to bed at night and wake up for school in the morning? What do you do? How do you get these kids to care about their grades and other family members. Austin is the most self-centered person I have ever met. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 Hi , welcome to our group! I have a son, 21, whose OCD began in 6th grade. He also has that " unpardonable sin, going to hell " type OCD called " scrupulosity. " That's pretty much what his OCD is all about right now, is the scrupulosity type stuff. That began middle of 11th grade. My son refuses meds, has poor insight into his OCD. Doesn't really " get " that the thoughts he has, etc., are 100% OCD related. He also suffered socially growing up. He also has Aspergers Syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. So he didn't fit in socially, was " odd " or " weird " to his peers. More his social skills, as to what he'd say, he was more intellectual, just not the typical peer stuff he may say, could seem immature...hard for me to explain. Nice guy, really nice, smart in school. He also had difficulty with a conversation, the give-and-take, back & forth, that we all do, questions/comments people generally make when conversing, that type thing. But in high school, peers had matured, wasn't so much odd/weird in a bad way, more they treated his differences as because he was so smart, seemed to accept him better (even those who gave him a hard time in earlier years). And about midway through school he " put himself out there " more, made the effort to talk to people, do better at it; joined the fencing club at school (which was still pretty new), joined another club or two. Hey, he even started eating better, broadening his limited diet! Still, he had no one he socialized with once school was out, so I can empathize with that too. The bit he did was through his church's youth group activities, and a few others that the group did outside the church. College social life was better for him too, accepted there, did well. So I think maturity/age helps a lot with acceptance by others, more friendly.... Your son's comment about this thoughts -- I can really imagine. I have a bit of " scrupe " myself but have always known it was an OCD " thing " and pretty easily ignore them, shrug them off. But the constantcy of the thoughts with , all the time, I have wondered sometimes how he kept his sanity! But he has! I think you mentioned your son had a past history of BDD -- not uncommon with OCD. That and eating disorders seem to be a " cormorbid " type thing with OCD. Is he doing a lot better with that, it's in the past? Zoloft - you still have room to go up on dosage (think to 200mg). I'd ask the doctor about going up slightly, if he hasn't had any bad effects from it before; would still leave you room to go up more on dosage. At this age, it can be difficult to know *why* they are acting some ways, attitude, etc. Is it teen or does it have to do with OCD, etc. Having 3 sons, there were times just the teen years were enough to put up with, didn't need OCD added in to deal with! Glad you found our group! single mom, 3 sons , 21, with OCD, Aspergers, dysgraphia > > Austin is on 100 mg of zoloft. He has been on it for 1 year and now over the last month especially, it seems as if it is not working. Sometimes he says to me that he just wants to be committed and put on such heavy drugs that he'll never have to think again. I feel so heartbroken for him. He has no friends at all and he is so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 It's encouraging to know that one day he might have acceptance and friends. He has been letting his grades really fall lately, so sometimes I worry that the other kids will look down on him for that. He goes to a really great school where most kids are in the honors classes and are highly motivated. Is your son working? Is he doing OK now? My husband and I have really lowered our expectations for Austin. It's great that your son was able to do college. Hopefully once we get his meds straightened out, things will look more optimistic. Right now we are just trying to keep him going andwe are taking things moment by moment. It's pretty painful at times. Subject: Re: hi - I'm new To: Date: Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 4:29 PM  Hi , welcome to our group! I have a son, 21, whose OCD began in 6th grade. He also has that " unpardonable sin, going to hell " type OCD called " scrupulosity. " That's pretty much what his OCD is all about right now, is the scrupulosity type stuff. That began middle of 11th grade. My son refuses meds, has poor insight into his OCD. Doesn't really " get " that the thoughts he has, etc., are 100% OCD related. He also suffered socially growing up. He also has Aspergers Syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. So he didn't fit in socially, was " odd " or " weird " to his peers. More his social skills, as to what he'd say, he was more intellectual, just not the typical peer stuff he may say, could seem immature...hard for me to explain. Nice guy, really nice, smart in school. He also had difficulty with a conversation, the give-and-take, back & forth, that we all do, questions/comments people generally make when conversing, that type thing. But in high school, peers had matured, wasn't so much odd/weird in a bad way, more they treated his differences as because he was so smart, seemed to accept him better (even those who gave him a hard time in earlier years). And about midway through school he " put himself out there " more, made the effort to talk to people, do better at it; joined the fencing club at school (which was still pretty new), joined another club or two. Hey, he even started eating better, broadening his limited diet! Still, he had no one he socialized with once school was out, so I can empathize with that too. The bit he did was through his church's youth group activities, and a few others that the group did outside the church. College social life was better for him too, accepted there, did well. So I think maturity/age helps a lot with acceptance by others, more friendly.... Your son's comment about this thoughts -- I can really imagine. I have a bit of " scrupe " myself but have always known it was an OCD " thing " and pretty easily ignore them, shrug them off. But the constantcy of the thoughts with , all the time, I have wondered sometimes how he kept his sanity! But he has! I think you mentioned your son had a past history of BDD -- not uncommon with OCD. That and eating disorders seem to be a " cormorbid " type thing with OCD. Is he doing a lot better with that, it's in the past? Zoloft - you still have room to go up on dosage (think to 200mg). I'd ask the doctor about going up slightly, if he hasn't had any bad effects from it before; would still leave you room to go up more on dosage. At this age, it can be difficult to know *why* they are acting some ways, attitude, etc. Is it teen or does it have to do with OCD, etc. Having 3 sons, there were times just the teen years were enough to put up with, didn't need OCD added in to deal with! Glad you found our group! single mom, 3 sons , 21, with OCD, Aspergers, dysgraphia > > Austin is on 100 mg of zoloft. He has been on it for 1 year and now over the last month especially, it seems as if it is not working. Sometimes he says to me that he just wants to be committed and put on such heavy drugs that he'll never have to think again. I feel so heartbroken for him. He has no friends at all and he is so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2010 Report Share Posted October 21, 2010 , he's done well overall. But see my recent post, think I titled it Stubborn! So right now I'm lowering expectations a bit. He's more into the social stuff now (and apparently back into video games) than he has been for a while. And he did miss/skip getting all that growing up.... He did very well up through his 2nd year of college, which was at our community college first. He transferred to Chapel Hill and this is his 2nd (and senior) year there. University stuff just harder than comm college I guess too. His OCD would interfere with his schoolwork thought. Really, really did those first few years. We had to set up a 504 Plan (similar to an IEP) for him in middle school due to all the OCD stuff. And still it interfered some in college. Do you think it's intefering with your son's work any, or more he's depressed, lost interest...? I'm sure when the med(s) get " right " and start to help, Austin will do much better! Has he read much about OCD, the type he's dealing with? didn't like to read about it. > > It's encouraging to know that one day he might have acceptance and friends. He has been letting his grades really fall lately, so sometimes I worry that the other kids will look down on him for that. He goes to a really great school where most kids are in the honors classes and are highly motivated. Is your son working? Is he doing OK now? My husband and I have really lowered our expectations for Austin. It's great that your son was able to do college. Hopefully once we get his meds straightened out, things will look more optimistic. Right now we are just trying to keep him going andwe are taking things moment by moment. It's pretty painful at times. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2010 Report Share Posted October 24, 2010 I really don't know what the therapist uses or does. Austin just tells him how he feels and the therapist listens and tries to reason with him. Occationally the therapist will give him an idea of what to do to help him with his thoughts, but it seems as if he is trying to figure out what is causing the OCD because there is no real family history of it. Subject: Re: hi - I'm new To: Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 4:56 PM  Hi, . Welcome to the group. We found as our son aged, and grew, he needed a bump up in his meds to accommodate the growth. You might be in the same situation. Also, does the therapist use CBT/ERP (cognitive behavioral therapy / exposure and response prevention) therapy? It's very important to use that type of therapy with OCD. Anything else will not help with improvement. The bedtime stuff can be complicated. It's hard to know what part OCD plays in that. Yet, being a teen, they also don't want to go to bed, OR get up. Sometimes OCD adds to teen behaviors, making it worse. Our son had trouble sleeping when his OCD was bad, because he had nothing to focus on to distract himself at bedtime. Sometimes, they can get caught up in bedtime rituals that prevent them from going to bed too. Later, when our son was doing better, he just didn't want to go to bed. But, lack of sleep can set off OCD too, so sleeping is important for OCD kids. What does his therapist suggest? The self-centeredness is a teen thing. But, you can't rule out OCD either. They are in the grip of OCD, doing what it demands and that can make them appear selfish and defiant as they fight to do what OCD wants in hopes of diminishing the anxiety they feel. BJ > > Hi! I'm new to the group and I have a 15 year old son with OCD, depression, and anxiety. I joined the group because I have no one that I can really talk to about this who understands. Even my own husband gets very upset talking about our son, Austin. > My husband's father has OCD, but besides that, I don't know of any other family history. I had a very high stress pregnancy with Austin and he seemed to come out very anxious and overly sensitive from the get go. Austin and his father don't get along very good so that adds stress to an already stressful situation.  On top of that, Austin is very disobedient and defiant, usually in a very passive aggressive way. Today for example, he would not get out of bed for school. He kept on saying he would, but he didn't get up until it was time for us to leave. He ended up being 30 minutes late for school. I'm so frustrated. He just doesn't care about anything real! All he cares about are his obsessive thoughts. His newest one is that he committed an unforgiveable sin and he's going to go to hell. Does anyone else have problems getting their kid to go to bed at night and wake up for school in the morning? What do you do? How do you > get these kids to care about their grades and other family members. Austin is the most self-centered person I have ever met. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2010 Report Share Posted October 24, 2010 His OCD is interfering with his entire life! It is stealing all his joy, concentration, and the ability to do everything he needs to do, should do, or wants to do. It's horrible. Austin can't even seem to socialize. He seems gripped by fear when other kids his age around. We go back to his psychiatrist tomorrow so hopefully we'll get help. What is a 504 plan? Subject: Re: hi - I'm new To: Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 8:32 PM  , he's done well overall. But see my recent post, think I titled it Stubborn! So right now I'm lowering expectations a bit. He's more into the social stuff now (and apparently back into video games) than he has been for a while. And he did miss/skip getting all that growing up.... He did very well up through his 2nd year of college, which was at our community college first. He transferred to Chapel Hill and this is his 2nd (and senior) year there. University stuff just harder than comm college I guess too. His OCD would interfere with his schoolwork thought. Really, really did those first few years. We had to set up a 504 Plan (similar to an IEP) for him in middle school due to all the OCD stuff. And still it interfered some in college. Do you think it's intefering with your son's work any, or more he's depressed, lost interest...? I'm sure when the med(s) get " right " and start to help, Austin will do much better! Has he read much about OCD, the type he's dealing with? didn't like to read about it. > > It's encouraging to know that one day he might have acceptance and friends. He has been letting his grades really fall lately, so sometimes I worry that the other kids will look down on him for that. He goes to a really great school where most kids are in the honors classes and are highly motivated. Is your son working? Is he doing OK now? My husband and I have really lowered our expectations for Austin. It's great that your son was able to do college. Hopefully once we get his meds straightened out, things will look more optimistic. Right now we are just trying to keep him going andwe are taking things moment by moment. It's pretty painful at times. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2010 Report Share Posted October 24, 2010 , a 504 Plan can set up accommodations and modifications for them to use at school, doing homework at home, etc. A short definition: " Section 504 is a civil rights law that prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities. Section 504 ensures that the child with a disability has equal access to an education. The child may receive accommodations and modifications. " For , some things we had were no time limit on tests; he could bring unfinished work home; I was allowed to write for him (he dictated); we could turn in work late with no grade penalty (how late varied with teachers); he could write short answers (vs complete sentences) for assignments. Here's one site that covers some things: http://www.ocdeducationstation.org/role-of-school-personnel/academic-support-str\ ategies/ One teacher used to give him a copy of her written vocabulary definitions so he didn't have to look them up (reading and writing were a problem for him). They also knew I was reading his assignments out loud to him, chapters, etc. Took a lot of stress off with not having to finish all that night's work. There were subjects we did get done nightly, like math that would be checked in class next day, etc. They also sent home (for all students actually) a midterm sheet that would show current grade and listed missing assignments; so that helped us go back to do any missed (he didn't write it all down each night). We worked with the goal of his taking more of his work back over time, me helping less. Began with things like him taking back short things like any with " fill in the blank " or multiple choice homework, etc. Or him writing a bit and then me picking up and writing the rest, etc. Reading - I read and he would read 1 paragraph after I read 2 or 3, etc. Wasn't that way at first, once his OCD was somewhat better, we began to ease him into doing some on his own. Some parents prefer an IEP, but I liked the 504 Plan. > > His OCD is interfering with his entire life! It is stealing all his joy, concentration, and the ability to do everything he needs to do, should do, or wants to do. It's horrible. Austin can't even seem to socialize. He seems gripped by fear when other kids his age around. We go back to his psychiatrist tomorrow so hopefully we'll get help. What is a 504 plan? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2010 Report Share Posted October 24, 2010 Hi , I wanted to add my welcome to the rest. I just scanned the posts you made and received, and notice in your last post you say you are not sure what all the therapist is doing. Do you know if they are doing ERP based CBT? This is the type of therapy needed to treat OCD. You may have mentioned this in one of your posts, I just scanned quickly. I can offer you the hope that each year older they are it can get better with everything. I think I found 15-16 the hardest. Our son is 19 now and doing quite well in terms of managing the OCD and life in general. Our son is not social either, but I'm not sure if he ever would be, and the OCD/anxiety just adds another dimension to it. However, our son seems to have a level of acceptance about who he is, and this has come with maturity (to encourage you on this). We also went through huge challenges with getting out of bed, and to school at all. Definitely a teen thing, and with the OCD on board keeping them awake at night, and just the thought of facing another day with the OCD hounding them all day long, it is understandable that they don't want to get out of bed. But it IS infuriating as a parent when you are trying to get out the door, I know! We had an agreement that our son was able to choose to take one day off a month, but had to decide in advance, not the morning of. In truth he did take more than one day, but often he just needed to. I do find these kids need to pace themselves and need to have some leeway on this. We were trying to work with him to take responsibility of this, and to have some choice/flexibility. There were times though, that the OCD was so severe that there was really no point in his going to school, as he could not do any work. So it really depends on what all you are dealing with. The level of selfishness/self centred, is also pretty common I think. Part teen, part challenge of coping with the OCD, and feeling like they have no life, and they can kind of fold into themselves and not have much room to think or care about anyone else. I found this changed with maturity too. Seemed to almost magically occur one day, our son actually asked me if I was ok, and I almost died of shock! They really do get there, somehow, and it can be hard to believe when you are living with such a negative, difficult, unappreciative creature as a teen can be. Just want to give you hope that it will get better in time!! Not sure if you can talk with your son, and have a conversation about what is going on for him, about the OCD, about getting out of bed, about school, etc. Ours wouldn't talk to us about much for quite awhile, so I get it if this is not possible. But sometimes just trying to understand and offer your sympathy on how difficult their life is, coping with the OCD, and letting them know you are there and do care, can go a long way to building a bridge to improving things. On the other hand sometimes nothing really works and you just get through it....kind of the way of the teen years, never really know what the right answer.... On a very practical note, do make sure what exactly the therapist is doing, and that ERP is the focus. When they learn how to manage the OCD, as they do with ERP, everything can turn around. Warmly, Barb Canada Son, 19, OCD, LD plus > > Hi! I'm new to the group and I have a 15 year old son with OCD, depression, and anxiety. I joined the group because I have no one that I can really talk to about this who understands. Even my own husband gets very upset talking about our son, Austin. > My husband's father has OCD, but besides that, I don't know of any other family history. I had a very high stress pregnancy with Austin and he seemed to come out very anxious and overly sensitive from the get go. Austin and his father don't get along very good so that adds stress to an already stressful situation.  On top of that, Austin is very disobedient and defiant, usually in a very passive aggressive way. Today for example, he would not get out of bed for school. He kept on saying he would, but he didn't get up until it was time for us to leave. He ended up being 30 minutes late for school. I'm so frustrated. He just doesn't care about anything real! All he cares about are his obsessive thoughts. His newest one is that he committed an unforgiveable sin and he's going to go to hell. Does anyone else have problems getting their kid to go to bed at night and wake up for school in the morning? What do you do? How do you > get these kids to care about their grades and other family members. Austin is the most self-centered person I have ever met. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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