Introduction

[Guest guest]

ROFL! I didn't think we'd met...

<g>

Debi

>

> I could be off-base, but I'm thinking the alternate usage was " dd " as

> a bra size.... am I right, Pennie? ;-)

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh well, to each her own " problems " . I've got the opposite " problem " which

my older daughter blames me for. : )

Marie

>

> Oh silly Marie, DD as in double D as is bra size. As in that is what I

> wear and although it may please some men to look at, it is not all that fun

> to carry around daily!!

>

> Terri

> Re: Re: Introduction

>

>

> Now...I'm curious. I knew dd was dear daughter, but what's the " gutter "

> word that it could stand for, or shouldn't I ask since it might start

> another " one of those " threads. I have to agree that it was really funny

> about the boner thread!

>

> Marie

>

>

> >

> > thats not what i was thinking. but now that you mention

> > it....just kidding.

> > my ww is more than good enough for me. wonderful wife.

> > eric abbys dad

> > <BR><BR><BR>**************************************<BR> AOL now offers

> free

> > email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at

> > http://www.aol.com.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/7/07 12:44:50 AM Eastern Standard Time,

marie.adams@... writes:

Oh well, to each her own " problems " . I've got the opposite " problem " which

my older daughter blames me for. : )

Marie

hey its about proportions. a dd doesnt look good on a small frame. and it

cause imbalance...just kidding.....yeah i know the couch is to good for me

now...lol. i say a b c d e its all good...lol after that now the back yard is

too good for me now.

eric hey im just a man gutter boy

<BR><BR><BR>**************************************<BR> AOL now offers free

email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at

http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

You silly gutter boy!Sondra

In Autism_in_Girls , abbysdad42@... wrote:

>

>

> In a message dated 3/7/07 12:44:50 AM Eastern Standard Time,

> marie.adams@... writes:

>

> Oh well, to each her own " problems " . I've got the

opposite " problem " which

> my older daughter blames me for. : )

>

> Marie

>

>

>

> hey its about proportions. a dd doesnt look good on a small

frame. and it

> cause imbalance...just kidding.....yeah i know the couch is to

good for me

> now...lol. i say a b c d e its all good...lol after that now the

back yard is

> too good for me now.

> eric hey im just a man gutter boy

> <BR><BR><BR>**************************************<BR> AOL now

offers free

> email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at

> http://www.aol.com.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

hmmm, my ASSets. I think he appreciates that too. Lucky me.

Re: Re: Introduction

In a message dated 3/6/07 11:14:54 PM Eastern Standard Time,

terriv103@... writes:

think if I got a reduction I would end up on the couch!

rotflmbo. (rolling on the floor laughing my butt off). glad your

significant other apreciates your 'assests'

eric abbys dad and gutter boy....

<BR><BR><BR>**************************************<BR> AOL now offers free

email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at

http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

My hubby would have no choice, there's too much of it not to appreciate!

Debi

>

> hmmm, my ASSets. I think he appreciates that too. Lucky me.

>

[Guest guest]

lol terri

<BR><BR><BR>**************************************<BR> AOL now offers free

email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at

http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

I resemble that remark!!

>

>Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls

>To: Autism_in_Girls

>Subject: Re: Introduction

>Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2007 16:51:48 -0000

>

>My hubby would have no choice, there's too much of it not to appreciate!

>

>Debi

>

>

> >

> > hmmm, my ASSets. I think he appreciates that too. Lucky me.

> >

>

_________________________________________________________________

RealLiveMoms: Share your experience with Real Live Moms just like you

http://www.reallivemoms.ca/

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Sorry to hear your dd isn't feeling well! Many told us that my 5 year old

just needed to be ignored, or punished more often, but we followed out gut

feeling, and got her the help she needs (therapy and medication). It has

only been a few months since our dd was diagnosed, but already she is

doing so much better now! I hope that you and your family find some help

for your little one, and that everything gets better soon.

Best wishes, and hugs!

> Hi! My name is and I'm here about my almost 5-year-old named

> Carysa. I'm going to be as brief as possible. We've not had any official

> diagnosis but her physical is coming up this month so I'm going to chat

> with her Ped about what's been going on. Her symptoms include: worrying

> incessantly about getting sick, worrying about being contaminated by

> something she touches (her foot, the dog, the floor) and then puts her

> fingers in her mouth, asking " what's going to happen if... " questions,

> panicking before school (she goes 2 days a week to a preschool she's been

> to for 3 years now and never had a problem before), crying for hours

> during school, worry about bad things happening to her, fear of

> nightmares/having nightmares. Also last night while she was sleeping I

> noticed she grinds her teeth terribly which I believe is a symptom of

> stress? In a (big) nutshell, here is how I think this anxiety evolved:

>

> When she was 18 months: I started bleeding during my 3rd pregnancy and had

> to stop nursing cold turkey. After a week of crying she accepted it and

> started to suck her thumb.

>

> When she was 20 months: I had to go stay in the hospital for 2 months due

> to complications from complete placenta previa. My Mom/MIL/husband took

> over mothering duties. Saw my kids for about 1/2 hour every other day.

>

> When she was 22 months: Was out-of-town with my husband and her older

> sister when I had to have an emergency c-section due to hemmoraging.

> Husband had to leave under emergency conditions. Grandparents brought kids

> back home a day later. I spent 6 more days in the hospital and my baby

> spent 30 days since she was a low-weight preemie. I had to go every day to

> visit her, sometimes twice, and left Carysa and my other daughter with my

> Mom. Several weeks after the baby came home, my parents almost died in a

> car accident. I had to go to the hospital again almost daily for a month

> to care for my Mom (my Dad was released after a few days and had to go

> back to work).

>

> At her 3 year physical the doctor discovered a bead in Carysa's ear. She

> spent 1/2 an hour trying to get it out and then sent us to and ENT. They

> had to wrap my daughter up like a mummy and hold her down to extract the

> bead. This began her fear of doctors.

>

> Things were fine for a while after this, fast forward to May of this

> year...

>

> When she was 4 1/2, in April of this year, we all came down with a

> horrible stomach bug. The baby got it the worst and when I took her to the

> doctor he said she could have a neurological condition since she threw up

> 9 days in a row! Of course I panicked and talked about it at home a lot

> around Carysa not thinking she cared or was paying attention. The baby was

> fine and got better a few days after the doc visit.

>

> A month later...we go to Disney and the first night she throws up all over

> the lobby of a restaurant. The teenage hostesses make a huge deal of it

> and act like they are gagging and talking about how awful it smells in

> front of everyone and in front of my daughter. She notices. Take a long

> bus ride back to the hotel to clean her up and she's fine for the rest of

> the trip.

>

> A month later...take a long road trip and she keep saying she has to use

> the bathroom. Every time we pull off to find a bathroom nothing happens.

> When we are 1/2 hour from our destination she says she has to go again and

> we told her to wait since we are so close (we literally stopped like 8

> times before). She says in a panicky voice " I wonder what's happening to

> me! " and soils herself. She's fine after that but I wondered if maybe she

> had motion sickness or it was her first real feeling of anxiety? Needless

> to say we felt horrible for not stopping again.

>

> Here is when everything snapped in her little brain. At the end of June we

> took my dad out for Father's Day and she threw up in a restaurant again.

> After that she became fearful of everything. Leaving the house, going to

> restaurants, going to church, etc. She started complaining of headaches

> and stomachaches and laid in bed sucking her thumb a good portion of the

> day. After a few weeks she got a bit better and after a few successful

> trips to restaurants she was no longer scared of them. The first night of

> VBS they called me to pick her up and then I had to stay with her every

> night thereafter. She got better with going to church after that for the

> most part (cried this past week). It's preschool that's been awful. Like I

> said before, she's been going to this school for 3 years. This year is the

> first her best friend (I'm talking her kindred spirit) is not attending

> and I wonder if that has anything to do with it. She cries and cries and

> worries that

> she's going to throw up or go to the bathroom and no one will wipe her,

> etc...once she's there she either cries for a few hours and then gets

> over herself or she just isolates herself. I know she doesn't like her

> teacher this year and she's scared to eat lunch there. I did take her to

> the ped (the same who told me the baby might have neurological

> probs...for Carysa he dismissed all my theories off the bat and told me

> to take her to a psych and then proceeded to hand me a card for his

> wife's practice...I've since switched peds!) when she was complaining of

> the headaches (and also an eye doctor to rule out a need for glasses).

> Eyesight is fine. The eye doc mentions taking her to school psychologist

> after I mention anxiety and the fact that she writes backwards. I haven't

> taken her.

>

> I know she is very young to be displaying these symptoms but I had awful

> anxiety and depression as a child (once spent an entire summer in bed) and

> no one took me seriously. Turns out I have lactose intolerance and DID

> feel sick for real every day after my breakfast of cereal with milk. My

> brother and husband also had mild OCD symptoms throughout life and my

> grandmother is a schizophrenic. My aunts also suffer from anxiety. My Mom

> and Mother-in-law (who is a nurse practitioner) keep telling me this is a

> phase Carysa is going through and to ignore her. That doesn't seem right

> to me.

>

> Carysa is very intelligent (every Mom thinks her child is, right? ;D). She

> is left-handed, has been writing for 2 years...backwards (which I hear is

> normal for lefties). Can read some. Asks the deepest questions (some of

> which I have to find the answers for online) and makes the most brilliant

> observations. She is very artistic but also loves science and wants to be

> a vet when she grows up.

>

> Sigh.

>

> Any insight?

>

> Thanks for reading my novel if you've made it this far!!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

--

Ware

Division of Invertebrate Zoology

American Museum of Natural History

79th and Central Park West

New York, NY,

10024, USA

[Guest guest]

Hi - that's not a novel - it's just what many of us go through when our

child has OCD. Good for you, for figuring out that this may be OCD - it took me

much longer! I went through a similar process of trying to figure out what in

our lives could have caused such a sudden and complete change in our child.

What you list is actually not horrible - many kids see so much, and yet don't

get OCD. So don't feel like your life caused this. Our daughter had a " picture

perfect life " , and yet I can relate exactly to what your daughter is

experiencing - our daughter's OCD was so bad that we wondered if she would be

able to function on her own in life at all. If you looked in our window, you

would have wondered what we had done to cause such terror in a child. If our

kids were princesses in England, they could still get OCD.

Our daughter has PANDAS, which is OCD that is caused by an autoimmune condition,

that is often triggered by strep. Strep can be undetected in a child and the

OCD may come in severe waves - you may see a sudden exacerbation and then a slow

remitting over time. OCD is very treatable, no matter how it arrives. I

strongly recommend ERP therapy. However, for a child with a medical issue,

treating that condition can also create miraculous recoveries. If you want to

learn more about PANDAS, please feel free to email me, or you may wish to try

this support group: http://www.latitudes.org/forums/index.php?showforum=17 to

learn more about doctors and treatments. As an example, if you give her motrin

(doesn't work for all kids) and she has a better 2-3 hours, then you may find

that an inflamatory based autoimmune condition may be the reason for the change

in her. I notice that she had stomach upset & threw up around the time of the

start. This happened to us as well - sometimes our kids run such aggressive

antibodies that we don't see the strep, but this may be a sign that she had it

at the time.

Our daughter has done so well with antibiotics and ERP therapy. She is a happy

funny little kid again. At the worst point, she was disabled at age 6 and 7,

and we thought we'd never see joy again. I am not here as much as I used to be,

but you have found a wonderful support group for OCD.

Some books I can highly recommend are " What to do When your Brain Gets Stuck " , a

workbook for kids about OCD, and " Freeing Your Child From Obsessive Compusive

Disorder " by Tamar Chansky.

Hope you find some good help soon - in NC.

>

> Hi! My name is and I'm here about my almost 5-year-old named Carysa.

I'm going to be as brief as possible. We've not had any official diagnosis but

her physical is coming up this month so I'm going to chat with her Ped about

what's been going on. Her symptoms include: worrying incessantly about getting

sick, worrying about being contaminated by something she touches (her foot, the

dog, the floor) and then puts her fingers in her mouth, asking " what's going to

happen if... " questions, panicking before school (she goes 2 days a week to a

preschool she's been to for 3 years now and never had a problem before), crying

for hours during school, worry about bad things happening to her, fear of

nightmares/having nightmares.

[Guest guest]

, I don't have time to address everything, so I'll have to respond more

later. But I wanted to tell you that my son wrote in mirror images. His

preschool teacher told me that this is a sign of high intelligence, so your

instincts about her being very smart are right!!

Steffanie

To:

From: boneschloe@...

Date: Tue, 14 Sep 2010 07:13:00 -0700

Subject: Introduction

Hi! My name is and I'm here about my almost 5-year-old named Carysa. I'm

going to be as brief as possible. We've not had any official diagnosis but her

physical is coming up this month so I'm going to chat with her Ped about what's

been going on. Her symptoms include: worrying incessantly about getting sick,

worrying about being contaminated by something she touches (her foot, the dog,

the floor) and then puts her fingers in her mouth, asking " what's going to

happen if... " questions, panicking before school (she goes 2 days a week to a

preschool she's been to for 3 years now and never had a problem before), crying

for hours during school, worry about bad things happening to her, fear of

nightmares/having nightmares. Also last night while she was sleeping I noticed

she grinds her teeth terribly which I believe is a symptom of stress? In a (big)

nutshell, here is how I think this anxiety evolved:

When she was 18 months: I started bleeding during my 3rd pregnancy and had to

stop nursing cold turkey. After a week of crying she accepted it and started to

suck her thumb.

When she was 20 months: I had to go stay in the hospital for 2 months due to

complications from complete placenta previa. My Mom/MIL/husband took over

mothering duties. Saw my kids for about 1/2 hour every other day.

When she was 22 months: Was out-of-town with my husband and her older sister

when I had to have an emergency c-section due to hemmoraging. Husband had to

leave under emergency conditions. Grandparents brought kids back home a day

later. I spent 6 more days in the hospital and my baby spent 30 days since she

was a low-weight preemie. I had to go every day to visit her, sometimes twice,

and left Carysa and my other daughter with my Mom. Several weeks after the baby

came home, my parents almost died in a car accident. I had to go to the hospital

again almost daily for a month to care for my Mom (my Dad was released after a

few days and had to go back to work).

At her 3 year physical the doctor discovered a bead in Carysa's ear. She spent

1/2 an hour trying to get it out and then sent us to and ENT. They had to wrap

my daughter up like a mummy and hold her down to extract the bead. This began

her fear of doctors.

Things were fine for a while after this, fast forward to May of this year...

When she was 4 1/2, in April of this year, we all came down with a horrible

stomach bug. The baby got it the worst and when I took her to the doctor he said

she could have a neurological condition since she threw up 9 days in a row! Of

course I panicked and talked about it at home a lot around Carysa not thinking

she cared or was paying attention. The baby was fine and got better a few days

after the doc visit.

A month later...we go to Disney and the first night she throws up all over the

lobby of a restaurant. The teenage hostesses make a huge deal of it and act like

they are gagging and talking about how awful it smells in front of everyone and

in front of my daughter. She notices. Take a long bus ride back to the hotel to

clean her up and she's fine for the rest of the trip.

A month later...take a long road trip and she keep saying she has to use the

bathroom. Every time we pull off to find a bathroom nothing happens. When we are

1/2 hour from our destination she says she has to go again and we told her to

wait since we are so close (we literally stopped like 8 times before). She says

in a panicky voice " I wonder what's happening to me! " and soils herself. She's

fine after that but I wondered if maybe she had motion sickness or it was her

first real feeling of anxiety? Needless to say we felt horrible for not stopping

again.

Here is when everything snapped in her little brain. At the end of June we took

my dad out for Father's Day and she threw up in a restaurant again. After that

she became fearful of everything. Leaving the house, going to restaurants, going

to church, etc. She started complaining of headaches and stomachaches and laid

in bed sucking her thumb a good portion of the day. After a few weeks she got a

bit better and after a few successful trips to restaurants she was no longer

scared of them. The first night of VBS they called me to pick her up and then I

had to stay with her every night thereafter. She got better with going to church

after that for the most part (cried this past week). It's preschool that's been

awful. Like I said before, she's been going to this school for 3 years. This

year is the first her best friend (I'm talking her kindred spirit) is not

attending and I wonder if that has anything to do with it. She cries and cries

and worries that

she's going to throw up or go to the bathroom and no one will wipe her,

etc...once she's there she either cries for a few hours and then gets over

herself or she just isolates herself. I know she doesn't like her teacher this

year and she's scared to eat lunch there. I did take her to the ped (the same

who told me the baby might have neurological probs...for Carysa he dismissed all

my theories off the bat and told me to take her to a psych and then proceeded to

hand me a card for his wife's practice...I've since switched peds!) when she was

complaining of the headaches (and also an eye doctor to rule out a need for

glasses). Eyesight is fine. The eye doc mentions taking her to school

psychologist after I mention anxiety and the fact that she writes backwards. I

haven't taken her.

I know she is very young to be displaying these symptoms but I had awful anxiety

and depression as a child (once spent an entire summer in bed) and no one took

me seriously. Turns out I have lactose intolerance and DID feel sick for real

every day after my breakfast of cereal with milk. My brother and husband also

had mild OCD symptoms throughout life and my grandmother is a schizophrenic. My

aunts also suffer from anxiety. My Mom and Mother-in-law (who is a nurse

practitioner) keep telling me this is a phase Carysa is going through and to

ignore her. That doesn't seem right to me.

Carysa is very intelligent (every Mom thinks her child is, right? ;D). She is

left-handed, has been writing for 2 years...backwards (which I hear is normal

for lefties). Can read some. Asks the deepest questions (some of which I have to

find the answers for online) and makes the most brilliant observations. She is

very artistic but also loves science and wants to be a vet when she grows up.

Sigh.

Any insight?

Thanks for reading my novel if you've made it this far!!!

[Guest guest]

- so much if what you said rings true and sounds like the way I would

have described my son. He was diagnosed at are 5. Go with your gut. You will

find out throughout your journey that many people will dismiss your worries and

make you think your crazy. You know your child best. We all here have different

stories but the one thi g that is similar is our love for our children. Good

luck with everything.

(8 1/2 yr old son with OCD)

Connecticut

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

Hi , welcome! That milk & cereal reminded me of 2 of my sons; in the

mornings it upset their stomachs too. Now my OCD son, , who also has

Aspergers Syndrome (on autism spectrum), hasn't ever eaten cereal with milk, so

can't say for him; he's 21 now. He drinks milk, would eat dry cereal a bit when

he was young. My oldest was allergic to dairy products for a few years; he

still avoids milk but can at least eat cheese and other things now.

Poor Carysa, actually vomiting! Do you think it (or part of it) might be anxiety

actually making her throw up? Many have fears they will, but don't (rarely),

that fear has been talked about here a lot, causes avoidances, afraid to go to

school, other places for fearing they might vomit.

Is she very social with the other children at school when she's feeling okay,

calm, etc.? Is she scared to eat lunch at school due to fearing she might get

sick (vomit) after? Is she eating well at home?

I had anxiety, extreme shyness, depression, growing up so identify with those

feelings.

There are some good children's books on OCD she might like. You can find some

listed at the OCD Foundation website (and books for parents too!) but also

search at sites like & Noble, other.

Have you looked at the Worry Wise Kids website, it may help you, give some ideas

for talking to her about her fears/worries and treatment guides.

http://www.worrywisekids.org/

When trying to conquer OCD, you can't work on everything at once. So generally

you will choose 1 or 2 things to work on, what seems the easiest, to work on

" bossing back " OCD. Gain some success. was about 12 when his OCD began

and not real " eager " to work on things, or decide what to, so I would name a

couple things, ask him did he feel those were okay to work on, he'd say yes

(usually) and that's what we went with.

Glad you found our group!

>

> Hi! My name is and I'm here about my almost 5-year-old named Carysa.

I'm going to be as brief as possible. We've not had any official diagnosis but

her physical is coming up this month so I'm going to chat with her Ped about

what's been going on. Her symptoms include: worrying incessantly about getting

sick, worrying about being contaminated by something she touches (her foot, the

dog, the floor) and then puts her fingers in her mouth, asking " what's going

[Guest guest]

Hi Bruce,

Well, in terms of what to do re school situation, it can be a challenge to know

what is best, and it is generally very individual what is the " right " thing to

do.

Our son was 15 at severe onset and had just entered grade 9. He had an IEP

already because of learning issues, and we had added to it that he could leave

class and go to the spec ed room as needed. He rarely did this, because he

didn't want to stand out, but he would leave class and call home for me to come

and get him. It was early days for us, and I did go pick him up, and eventually

he was not able to even go to school. We had not yet started medication, and

the OCD was such that little school work could really be done, and the anxiety

was so high, it all added up to no point in going to school.

On the other hand, once he stopped going to school everything kind of shut down,

and he could hardly leave the house. So...if you can keep her in school and in

class as much as possible, it is best, because once they shut down it is very

hard to get them moving again.

Since it is 4 years living with OCD, I'm thinking you have a good idea about the

need to sometimes push them when they feel they are not able. The challenge is

knowing when to push and when to let them decide, and it can be hard to know

best. Often one parent is softer than the other or sees it differently, and

this is hard too.

The thing is, with anxiety and OCD it feels like life and death to them, pretty

much every time they have to face something. While you need to be respectful

and empathic about this, it's important to remember that it is the anticipation

of the event or of doing something that creates the anxiety, and when they

actually do it and live through it the problem stops, well... until the next

time. But this is a form of ERP, exposing themselves to the anxiety that comes

up and is necessary.

It is not uncommon that they will tell you they will hurt themselves, run away

etc, and while I would never ignore this, often it is their way of getting what

they want. They feel manipulated by the OCD, and then try to manipulate those

around them.

At 11, your daughter may well be needing to assert herself more, and this will

factor in more and more as she gets older. I'm not saying that her fears and

needs are not legitimate and that you just need to make her do whatever, but

this will be a component to manage and respect.

So, perhaps if you and your wife can sit down with your daughter and discuss

what she thinks might work. Give her the power to choose how to manage this,

with guidance from her psychologist, and any other professionals. You will most

likely get differing opinions on this, and I would try to let your knowledge of

your daughter guide you beyond the professionals. Often these kids have really

good ideas and can be very creative, and giving them the power to choose is

important, because often they feel out of control with the OCD.

I know we did the " wrong " things, according to professionals often, but felt it

was the right thing for our child. As our son's ability to manage the OCD, and

our understanding of what we needed to do increased, how we dealt with things

shifted. If the medications are working to manage the anxiety, then it IS a

matter of managing situations, and the OCD as they come up.

Last thought, at 11, it may be the internal instability of hormones shifting

causing stress for your daughter and tipping the load. Medication might need to

be altered, doses etc, or if you are open to alternative ideas a homeopathic

remedy or sometimes even nutritional/vitamin changes can assist with this. We

find the B vitamins, calcium/magnesium, plus Vit D in particular at this time of

year can all assist with mental health.

I'm sure others will chime in with their thoughts, just a quiet time on the site

at this time of year. I know many others have dealt with this on this site, so

you might try doing a search with the words " school refusal " /school and OCD, or

something like that.

Warmly,

Barb

Canada

Son, 19, OCD, LD plus - doing well for over 2 years now

>

> I would like to introduce myself to the group.My daughter, Karlie 11 years

old,

> was diagnosed 4 years ago with OCD. Karlie sees a Psychologist for counseling

> and a Psychiatrist for medication. She takes 60mg Fluxotene daily, Concerta

> daily for ADHD and Clonazepam as needed for severe anxiety attacks. I am happy

> to answer any questions about Karlie's history but I don't want to make this

> e-mail too long for fear no one will read it. The biggest thing we are dealing

> with right now is keeping Karlie in her classes at school. This is her first

> year of middle school and we knew it would be more stressful than elementary.

At

> the beginning of the school year she seemed to be holding it together pretty

> well but as time progressed her trips to the office, school nurse, school

> counselor and school psychologist increased and it became increasingly

difficult

> for them to get her to return to class. Karlie tells me that she is afraid she

> is going to " lose it " in front of her classmates, friends and teachers. She

then

> tells the teacher she doesn't feel good and needs to go to the nurse. She will

> then go to the nurse or the school counselor or the school psychologist or

just

> sit in the office. My assessment is that she experiences a classic " Flight or

> Fight " response several times during the day at school. She is absolutely

> terrified of losing control and emotionally breaking down in class. She does

> this almost every day after school. It is heartbreaking as a parent to see the

> mental and emotional suffering of your child. Her mother (divorced) and I had

a

> meeting with her teachers, school counselor, school psychologist, District

> Special Ed. representative, Principal and Vice Principal to set up an IEP. Her

> mother made the case that Karlie needs more " structure " , more consequences for

> her actions and less time spent outside of class. She believes that Karlie

needs

> to be forced to go to class. Everyone in the room, except myself, agreed. I

took

> the position that Karlie is terrified of losing control and being humiliated

in

> front of classmates, friends and teachers. She then experiences " Fight or

> Flight " and runs to the office. To force her to return to class is forcing her

> to return to that which she finds terrifying. Karlie has threatened to run

away

> and hurt herself. She tells me she thinks about killing herself. I dont think

> the school understands OCD and want to treat this as a typical case of a

> rebellious teenager. Just crack down and they will behave. I really thought

an

> IEP would be developed that lessened Karlies stress at school and would then

> make it easier for her to concentrate on learning. To my dismay, a plan was

> developed to restrict Karlies use of the office as a sanctuary and insist she

> return to classes after a set amount of quiet time. What they learned from

that,

> so far, is that Karlie has no problem saying " no " to an adult.

>

>

> I know that for OCD and atypical fears, the therapy is ERP. Karlie works with

> her psychologist on this. My concern is that her mother and the school are

> pushing too hard and Karlie needs less stress, not more. I have read some of

the

> chats and see that some kids are in special needs schools. This was not

> discussed for Karlie. I dont know why.

>

>

> Can anyone give some insight, advice...anything

>

> Bruce

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group, Bruce.

You mentioned there is a school psychologist, is that the same one she works

with? If not, what does " her " psychologist say? It might be helpful to bring

the opinion of her psychologist into the equation.

I'm not surprised the school doesn't understand OCD, most therapists don't

either. It's very misunderstood.

I agree with you, Bruce.

They need to face their fears, to overcome them, BUT they need to be mentally

ready to take it on, or it can cause more harm than good. If her fear about the

classroom is too big, too terrifying, it will do no good to force her to be

there.

There are different options, as far as schooling. Some go to special needs

schools, some do homebound instruction, some opt to homeschool (we did for 11

years).

How long has she been on the medication for OCD? I'm wondering if it's had

enough time to work to it's full benefit.

Less stress is preferable for those with OCD. It's a hard balance, to make sure

they do not have too much free time on their hands, some structure, be

challenged, yet not too much.

Has she ever had her OCD and anxiety under control? Just curious, because for

some, once the OCD is under control, the ADD or ADHD symptoms disappear too.

Glad you found our group, Bruce.

BJ

>

> I would like to introduce myself to the group.My daughter, Karlie 11 years

old,

> was diagnosed 4 years ago with OCD. Karlie sees a Psychologist for counseling

> and a Psychiatrist for medication. She takes 60mg Fluxotene daily, Concerta

> daily for ADHD and Clonazepam as needed for severe anxiety attacks. I am happy

> to answer any questions about Karlie's history but I don't want to make this

> e-mail too long for fear no one will read it. The biggest thing we are dealing

> with right now is keeping Karlie in her classes at school. This is her first

> year of middle school and we knew it would be more stressful than elementary.

At

> the beginning of the school year she seemed to be holding it together pretty

> well but as time progressed her trips to the office, school nurse, school

> counselor and school psychologist increased and it became increasingly

difficult

> for them to get her to return to class. Karlie tells me that she is afraid she

> is going to " lose it " in front of her classmates, friends and teachers. She

then

> tells the teacher she doesn't feel good and needs to go to the nurse. She will

> then go to the nurse or the school counselor or the school psychologist or

just

> sit in the office. My assessment is that she experiences a classic " Flight or

> Fight " response several times during the day at school. She is absolutely

> terrified of losing control and emotionally breaking down in class. She does

> this almost every day after school. It is heartbreaking as a parent to see the

> mental and emotional suffering of your child. Her mother (divorced) and I had

a

> meeting with her teachers, school counselor, school psychologist, District

> Special Ed. representative, Principal and Vice Principal to set up an IEP. Her

> mother made the case that Karlie needs more " structure " , more consequences for

> her actions and less time spent outside of class. She believes that Karlie

needs

> to be forced to go to class. Everyone in the room, except myself, agreed. I

took

> the position that Karlie is terrified of losing control and being humiliated

in

> front of classmates, friends and teachers. She then experiences " Fight or

> Flight " and runs to the office. To force her to return to class is forcing her

> to return to that which she finds terrifying. Karlie has threatened to run

away

> and hurt herself. She tells me she thinks about killing herself. I dont think

> the school understands OCD and want to treat this as a typical case of a

> rebellious teenager. Just crack down and they will behave. I really thought

an

> IEP would be developed that lessened Karlies stress at school and would then

> make it easier for her to concentrate on learning. To my dismay, a plan was

> developed to restrict Karlies use of the office as a sanctuary and insist she

> return to classes after a set amount of quiet time. What they learned from

that,

> so far, is that Karlie has no problem saying " no " to an adult.

>

>

> I know that for OCD and atypical fears, the therapy is ERP. Karlie works with

> her psychologist on this. My concern is that her mother and the school are

> pushing too hard and Karlie needs less stress, not more. I have read some of

the

> chats and see that some kids are in special needs schools. This was not

> discussed for Karlie. I dont know why.

>

>

> Can anyone give some insight, advice...anything

>

> Bruce

>

>

>

>

>

>