Raging? I'm going to go crazy today!

May 15, 2010

Thanks Stormy and Bonnie for your inpt on my previous post.

I never thought my daughter raged. When I think of raging I think of throwing

things, breaking things, hurting people....etc. As I speak, my daughter is on

her bed screaming and wailing and throwing a massive fit. It all started because

I told her she could not go in our neighbors yard to pet the dogs, because she

abused that priveledge the other day and manipulated her little brother to break

one of our outdoor rules of not knocking on the neighbors door and bugging them,

since I am right here. I put her on outside restriction that day and now she can

go out and play, but has to stay out of their yard. When I reminded her of this,

she became extremely disrespectful and rude so I made her go back to her room,

where she had already been for being disrespectful and rude to me just 15

minutes earlier. I had warned her then that if she did it again, I would give

her a " rest " time because she was at a church function late last night and

didn't sleep in very long this morning, so she is showing me that she is tired

and needs to rest. Well, when I sent her back to her room she began screaming at

me so I informed her she was now having a rest period. I told her to take off

her shoes and coat and lay down and when she was quiet I would start her 30 min

rest time. At first she said " NO! " . I informed her for every time she yells at

me and refuses to listen I will add another 5 minutes to her time. She then

proceeded to yank off her shoes and coat and throw them accross the room, (not

at me) and she yelled at me to go. She ended up with 45 minutes total and that

time is just now starting because after about 15 more minutes of wailing and

screaming herself into coughing fits, she has finally gotten quiet. I popped my

head in there at one point and told her that her screaming was doing no good, it

was only hurting her throat and that she was only making her punishment longer

because I was not going to start her time until she was quiet. I kept it

together quite well. I didn't yell. I disengaged. I was very matter-of-fact

about the whole thing, but inside right now I'm torn apart. Towards the end she

was yelling at me about how she feels alone right now and other stuff, but I

knew I couldn't respond to that, because giving attention to the drama would

make it worse. She's nine and I feel like if she doesn't know we are serious

now, we are going to have one hell of a trip on our hands in the next 9 years.

Did I do the right thing? It's so hard to know. Is this considered a rage?

Heidi - WA

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