kassi

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Kassi.

Melinda

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

I wish I knew of some magic way. Like I've posted, my no 1 way is to

never allow them to be alone with males other than Daddy & Papaw, who

I trust. I wonder sometimes if God has given me discernment in this

area, or if I'm just really paranoid. Like Craig's brothers, I trust

entirely, but one SIL has a brother that I recoil from every time the

girls are around him, and I have no legitimate reason as to why. There

are several men I feel that way about, and I make it clear to Craig

that the girls are to NEVER be around these people. My dear friend was

dating a man a few years ago that I got the worse vibes from, never

could figure out why. Turns out she found he had downloaded child porn

on her comp. She kicked him out (living with someone without being

married is a danger issue, too, pedophiles seek out women who are okay

with this, they don't want to commit to the woman, they want the

woman's kids.) & is now engaged to a wonderful man.

My basic rules are never leave the children with any males (other than

mentioned) and never leave them with " weak " women who would seem to

look the other way. Like I had one friend who once told me about how

she thought her BIL might have sexually abused her brother when he was

little, but she does *nothing* about it. The BIL has actually watched

her own son. We don't really speak any more and she's never watched my

kids.

I know another woman who I was friends with who was laughing one day

about how her and her husband were having sex WITH THE DOOR OPEN and

after " finishing " realized their son, about 5 at the time, had watched

the entire thing. She thought it was funny. I told her she should

have shut the door & locked it, she actually said, " well, he'd just

bang on the door so we leave it open. " We no longer associate with

these people or allow their son, who is now middle school, around. The

reason is this child has been exposed to things he should never have

been exposed to and it's just too great a risk as to what he may try

to do to the girls. I have talked with her and her family about my

concerns of this behavior.

Debi

[Guest guest]

>

> I wish I knew of some magic way. Like I've posted, my no 1 way is to

> never allow them to be alone with males other than Daddy & Papaw, who

> I trust. I wonder sometimes if God has given me discernment in this

> area, or if I'm just really paranoid. Like Craig's brothers, I trust

> entirely, but one SIL has a brother that I recoil from every time the

> girls are around him, and I have no legitimate reason as to why. There

> are several men I feel that way about, and I make it clear to Craig

> that the girls are to NEVER be around these people. My dear friend was

> dating a man a few years ago that I got the worse vibes from, never

> could figure out why. Turns out she found he had downloaded child porn

> on her comp. She kicked him out (living with someone without being

> married is a danger issue, too, pedophiles seek out women who are okay

> with this, they don't want to commit to the woman, they want the

> woman's kids.) & is now engaged to a wonderful man.

>

> My basic rules are never leave the children with any males (other than

> mentioned) and never leave them with " weak " women who would seem to

> look the other way. Like I had one friend who once told me about how

> she thought her BIL might have sexually abused her brother when he was

> little, but she does *nothing* about it. The BIL has actually watched

> her own son. We don't really speak any more and she's never watched my

> kids.

>

> I know another woman who I was friends with who was laughing one day

> about how her and her husband were having sex WITH THE DOOR OPEN and

> after " finishing " realized their son, about 5 at the time, had watched

> the entire thing. She thought it was funny. I told her she should

> have shut the door & locked it, she actually said, " well, he'd just

> bang on the door so we leave it open. " We no longer associate with

> these people or allow their son, who is now middle school, around. The

> reason is this child has been exposed to things he should never have

> been exposed to and it's just too great a risk as to what he may try

> to do to the girls. I have talked with her and her family about my

> concerns of this behavior.

>

> Debi

All these are great examples of what could happen " out there " . It's great

to have gut feelings about certain men even though you don't really know

why. As a general precaution, it's good NOT to leave our girls with any

male that you don't know & LISTEN to your gut & FOLLOW it. I need to listen

to my own advice.

--

Marie

[Guest guest]

fathers and grandfathers can be of offenders as they are to be of

least likeily to be of suspect in some homes or some homes leave of

teh secrets silent. No one speaks of it. as for me the trauma was

with teh scary man who was of the father of the mother of me. the

family knew of this mans sickness for years and several gerations of

it. tehy still elft of the vulerable in hims care. the mother of me

knew of the abuse and did of nothing to protect of me from it.

instead she to protected of him.

The fact is of this sick family I to moved away from them so have

little to no family support at all outside of the brothers family to

me. this sick family had of let this man violate 3 of hims 4

daughters, 17 of the 21 grand daughters, foster care girls and

neighbor kids. mostly target pre puberty to puberty ages.

2 of hims sons turned of the same way as adults, 3-4 of my boy

cousins are of this and 2 of them did get of jail time. it is of a

sickeness that seems to run in this family but to protect of my

childrens and me I to runed from it and happy that I to did of that.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

fathers and grandfathers can be of offenders as they are to be of

least likeily to be of suspect in some homes or some homes leave of

teh secrets silent. No one speaks of it. as for me the trauma was

with teh scary man who was of the father of the mother of me. the

family knew of this mans sickness for years and several gerations of

it. tehy still elft of the vulerable in hims care. the mother of me

knew of the abuse and did of nothing to protect of me from it.

instead she to protected of him.

The fact is of this sick family I to moved away from them so have

little to no family support at all outside of the brothers family to

me. this sick family had of let this man violate 3 of hims 4

daughters, 17 of the 21 grand daughters, foster care girls and

neighbor kids. mostly target pre puberty to puberty ages.

2 of hims sons turned of the same way as adults, 3-4 of my boy

cousins are of this and 2 of them did get of jail time. it is of a

sickeness that seems to run in this family but to protect of my

childrens and me I to runed from it and happy that I to did of that.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/8/07 3:51:41 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

marie.adams@... writes:

As a general precaution, it's good NOT to leave our girls with any

male that you don't know & LISTEN to your gut & FOLLOW it. I need to listen

to my own advice.

--

Marie

sometimes even the men you think you know. better safe then sorry. we

need to do all we can to protect our kids

eric abbys dad

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/8/07 3:51:41 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

marie.adams@... writes:

As a general precaution, it's good NOT to leave our girls with any

male that you don't know & LISTEN to your gut & FOLLOW it. I need to listen

to my own advice.

--

Marie

sometimes even the men you think you know. better safe then sorry. we

need to do all we can to protect our kids

eric abbys dad

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Sondra I agree with you that they can be offenders, but I don't think

these two are those. If I even suspected I couldn't be married to

him!! That's what amazes me is hearing stories from women & their

mothers knew it. That makes no sense to me what so ever. How could any

mother turn a blind eye to such atrocities.

Debi

[Guest guest]

Sondra I agree with you that they can be offenders, but I don't think

these two are those. If I even suspected I couldn't be married to

him!! That's what amazes me is hearing stories from women & their

mothers knew it. That makes no sense to me what so ever. How could any

mother turn a blind eye to such atrocities.

Debi

[Guest guest]

There was a woman locally who, a few yrs ago was told by her teenage

daughter & son that a family member (maybe friend, I can't remember)

had raped both of them repeatedly. The mother immediately went to the

man & confronted him. She said he laughed in her face and asked her

what she was going to do about it, that she couldn't do anything.

That's when she went & got a gun & shot him until he was dead. They

had her trial last year, she got 1 yr in jail. I know we can't all

take the law into our own hands, but I can't help but think she needed

a medal instead of a jail sentence; still, the judge was very soft on

the sentence.

Debi

> sometimes even the men you think you know. better safe then sorry.

we

> need to do all we can to protect our kids

> eric abbys dad

>

>

>

> ************************************** See what's free at

http://www.aol.com.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

There was a woman locally who, a few yrs ago was told by her teenage

daughter & son that a family member (maybe friend, I can't remember)

had raped both of them repeatedly. The mother immediately went to the

man & confronted him. She said he laughed in her face and asked her

what she was going to do about it, that she couldn't do anything.

That's when she went & got a gun & shot him until he was dead. They

had her trial last year, she got 1 yr in jail. I know we can't all

take the law into our own hands, but I can't help but think she needed

a medal instead of a jail sentence; still, the judge was very soft on

the sentence.

Debi

> sometimes even the men you think you know. better safe then sorry.

we

> need to do all we can to protect our kids

> eric abbys dad

>

>

>

> ************************************** See what's free at

http://www.aol.com.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/8/07 10:20:46 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

fightingautism@... writes:

That's what amazes me is hearing stories from women & their

mothers knew it.

sometimes you have to watch out for some women too i guess.

eric abbys dad

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Not yet. Getting there...I have ideas on the topic,

but I haven't yet put them into writing...it's a

matter of organizing the ideas.

Kassiane

--- penelope_fam wrote:

>

> Have you ever written or spoken about the topic of

> what defines an

> inclusive school?

>

> PennY

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Not yet. Getting there...I have ideas on the topic,

but I haven't yet put them into writing...it's a

matter of organizing the ideas.

Kassiane

--- penelope_fam wrote:

>

> Have you ever written or spoken about the topic of

> what defines an

> inclusive school?

>

> PennY

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

kassi and others on the spectrum? why do we do so many impulsive and

stupid things over and over. Like why cant we seem to react or

respond in ways that are of so called logical sense or rational sense

of things when we escalate? I to just wonder wy as an adult for self

cant seem to think in adult fashions when escalted and still react in

ways had always done as a child and never seemed to outgrow that

rapid cycling of irational responses and reactions to things. I to

hate this part of autism in me. many thing of me as mentally ill or

not a emotionally stable person when I to react so rapidly and what

appears as without warrning. It is like fo rme things build and build

and because cant sift of sort them they just keep stacking higher and

higher within me until it all comes crashind down like the need to

get away and drive and drive and didnot have an internal thinking

saying I wll be to leave of him I to just got in the van in hopes to

get a local hotel and found self 2 hours south and then got of stuck

and just drived until couldnot go any further and ended where it did.

Why does our brains tend to get stuck into this sorts of things and

not able to switch out until we sense finished? trying to understand

of self more, I to guess I to just wonder why as adult cant seem to

do thing sthat I to should have gained or learned as adult to not

react or respond in this way but still do.

Sondra

[Guest guest]

I think everyone does that. Look at an alcoholic. They try & try to

fight the urge to drink, but something like problems with a husband or

wife keeps up until they finally cannot take it and get very

intoxicated. Or, a person with an addiction to food, they turn to food

even when they know that's the worst thing for them, and cannot seem

to stop until they've eaten a greasy cheeseburger & extra large french

fry. Or the sex addict who seeks out dangerous encounters with other

people, knowing all along it will only increase the struggles in

his/her life, yet they do not stop. Or the shopping addict whose only

way to deal with stress is to go buy things or the gossiper whose only

way to deal with difficult situations is to go talk to 100 people.

I won't say how many of those apply to me personally <g>.

The thing is, maybe escape is your way of coping, or the way of a lot

of people who have autism. When you find that " click " like an

alcoholic getting wasted, a food addict getting stuffed, a sex addict

having an orgasm, or a shopping addict getting a bunch of stuff, then

you can begin to cope again. Maybe escape some way to turn the " off "

switch to highly-stressful events, much like the other destructive

ways of coping for other people. Or maybe with the communication

problems and/or high anxiety, you feel it more than a lot of people,

so it makes you want to use your coping ways more often than other

people.

A bunch of us said how much we've all wanted to do the same thing.

You're just more brave than the rest of us!

Debi

[Guest guest]

I think everyone does that. Look at an alcoholic. They try & try to

fight the urge to drink, but something like problems with a husband or

wife keeps up until they finally cannot take it and get very

intoxicated. Or, a person with an addiction to food, they turn to food

even when they know that's the worst thing for them, and cannot seem

to stop until they've eaten a greasy cheeseburger & extra large french

fry. Or the sex addict who seeks out dangerous encounters with other

people, knowing all along it will only increase the struggles in

his/her life, yet they do not stop. Or the shopping addict whose only

way to deal with stress is to go buy things or the gossiper whose only

way to deal with difficult situations is to go talk to 100 people.

I won't say how many of those apply to me personally <g>.

The thing is, maybe escape is your way of coping, or the way of a lot

of people who have autism. When you find that " click " like an

alcoholic getting wasted, a food addict getting stuffed, a sex addict

having an orgasm, or a shopping addict getting a bunch of stuff, then

you can begin to cope again. Maybe escape some way to turn the " off "

switch to highly-stressful events, much like the other destructive

ways of coping for other people. Or maybe with the communication

problems and/or high anxiety, you feel it more than a lot of people,

so it makes you want to use your coping ways more often than other

people.

A bunch of us said how much we've all wanted to do the same thing.

You're just more brave than the rest of us!

Debi

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/18/07 11:19:25 PM Eastern Standard Time,

fightingautism@... writes:

a food addict getting stuffed, a sex addict

having an orgasm, or a shopping addict getting a bunch of stuff, then

you can begin to cope again.

all these things are good in moderation. some with a little

more...jk...lol. it is hard for NTs to control urges alot of our child hood

afects us. we

just need to identify it so we can see when we are doing it and stop and do

something else to get us outa the cycle.

eric abbys dad and gutter boy.

**************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

(http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/18/07 11:19:25 PM Eastern Standard Time,

fightingautism@... writes:

a food addict getting stuffed, a sex addict

having an orgasm, or a shopping addict getting a bunch of stuff, then

you can begin to cope again.

all these things are good in moderation. some with a little

more...jk...lol. it is hard for NTs to control urges alot of our child hood

afects us. we

just need to identify it so we can see when we are doing it and stop and do

something else to get us outa the cycle.

eric abbys dad and gutter boy.

**************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

(http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

[Guest guest]

I got really sick and had computer troubles, so I was

offline for a while. Lately I've been really busy,

too.

--- sondra wrote:

> was of wondering where you went?

> Sondra

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

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[Guest guest]

I am glad you are back and I hope you are feeling better. We've missed you

here.

Kassi wrote: I got really sick and had

computer troubles, so I was

offline for a while. Lately I've been really busy,

too.

--- sondra wrote:

> was of wondering where you went?

> Sondra

>

>

__________________________________________________________

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

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