Re: Telling family and friends

[Guest guest]

,

Blessings to you and your family. My daughter was diagnosed last year at almost

three. I was mentally prepared too, but I know it's still a sinking feeling to

have that professional agree with you.

As far as telling family and friends, my guess is that they probably have

already prepared themselves. In my case, my parents knew that something wasn't

right with our daughter. She went from happy, laughing, responsive and somewhat

vocal, to no language, and not responding to sounds. So it was obvious something

was going on. Maybe it's similar in your case.

We told other people gradually, little by little. You don't have to make a big

announcement. There are lots of web sites you can point them to. TACA has a

great web site and with all of the McCarthy publicity, that might be

something that would help them. She has a couple of videos:

http://www.talkaboutcuringautism.org/index.htm

Look at the 'Hope After Diagnosis' and 'Child was just diagnosed with autism'

and see if those help.

Marie

Telling family and friends

Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by the

developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared so

we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

others have told loved ones.

With appreciation,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

,

Blessings to you and your family. My daughter was diagnosed last year at almost

three. I was mentally prepared too, but I know it's still a sinking feeling to

have that professional agree with you.

As far as telling family and friends, my guess is that they probably have

already prepared themselves. In my case, my parents knew that something wasn't

right with our daughter. She went from happy, laughing, responsive and somewhat

vocal, to no language, and not responding to sounds. So it was obvious something

was going on. Maybe it's similar in your case.

We told other people gradually, little by little. You don't have to make a big

announcement. There are lots of web sites you can point them to. TACA has a

great web site and with all of the McCarthy publicity, that might be

something that would help them. She has a couple of videos:

http://www.talkaboutcuringautism.org/index.htm

Look at the 'Hope After Diagnosis' and 'Child was just diagnosed with autism'

and see if those help.

Marie

Telling family and friends

Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by the

developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared so

we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

others have told loved ones.

With appreciation,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Does your family know you have been suspecting? Do any of them live

near or mostly out of town? My experience was that I told everyone

about 4 months prior to the dx what I suspected. Some agreed, some

disagreed & felt I was creating it by purusing the dx (da'nile ain't

just a river!) and many more were in between the two. I got both

grandparents books, had a binder where I kept all her info out on the

coffee table at her 2nd birthday (was dxed 2 wks prior) and I was very

disappointed to find that no one was interested in research, reading,

or anything else. I think most people had a " what does this mean to

me " feeling and that was about it.

I do remember Craig's parents never told his grandmother. She died

about 9 months after the dx. I remember just before she died she said,

" Can she not talk at all? " I think she suspected something was badly

wrong but since Craig's parents didn't want to tell her, I was in no

hurry. She was sort of a mean woman, I didn't want to risk her saying

something ugly to me. Looking back, I wish I had, she had a son

everyone called " slow " who I think probably had Asperger Syndrome. She

might have had some encouraging thoughts mother-to-mother. Who knows,

water under the bridge.

What I did was tell people straight up, " Allie has autism. " Autism has

never been an ugly or tabboo word in our home, it's just part of

life...the sky is blue, Allie has autism. I did write a book that I've

found can be helpful to some people, it was geared toward children but

it seems adults like it as much as anyone, lol. It's called " 's

Little Sister: A Story about Autism. "

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/601-5293636-2660112?asin=1413717241 & afid=ya\

hoosspplp_bmvd & lnm=1413717241|Books_:_'s_Little_Sister & ref=tgt_adv_XSNG10\

60

I sell it for $14, shipping & all, btw. I think that's a rediculous

price! I wouldn't sell it for that much but the publisher is a bit

extreme in pricing, I think. If you are interested, and please don't

feel like I'm pushing it, email me & I'll send you my paypal info.

There is a letter that usually circulates around the holidays that

some suggest sending to family members. It explains stuff like the

child may find hugs painful, it's no reflection on you...please

provide a quiet place where my child can retreat during family

gatherings, etc.

Debi

[Guest guest]

Does your family know you have been suspecting? Do any of them live

near or mostly out of town? My experience was that I told everyone

about 4 months prior to the dx what I suspected. Some agreed, some

disagreed & felt I was creating it by purusing the dx (da'nile ain't

just a river!) and many more were in between the two. I got both

grandparents books, had a binder where I kept all her info out on the

coffee table at her 2nd birthday (was dxed 2 wks prior) and I was very

disappointed to find that no one was interested in research, reading,

or anything else. I think most people had a " what does this mean to

me " feeling and that was about it.

I do remember Craig's parents never told his grandmother. She died

about 9 months after the dx. I remember just before she died she said,

" Can she not talk at all? " I think she suspected something was badly

wrong but since Craig's parents didn't want to tell her, I was in no

hurry. She was sort of a mean woman, I didn't want to risk her saying

something ugly to me. Looking back, I wish I had, she had a son

everyone called " slow " who I think probably had Asperger Syndrome. She

might have had some encouraging thoughts mother-to-mother. Who knows,

water under the bridge.

What I did was tell people straight up, " Allie has autism. " Autism has

never been an ugly or tabboo word in our home, it's just part of

life...the sky is blue, Allie has autism. I did write a book that I've

found can be helpful to some people, it was geared toward children but

it seems adults like it as much as anyone, lol. It's called " 's

Little Sister: A Story about Autism. "

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/601-5293636-2660112?asin=1413717241 & afid=ya\

hoosspplp_bmvd & lnm=1413717241|Books_:_'s_Little_Sister & ref=tgt_adv_XSNG10\

60

I sell it for $14, shipping & all, btw. I think that's a rediculous

price! I wouldn't sell it for that much but the publisher is a bit

extreme in pricing, I think. If you are interested, and please don't

feel like I'm pushing it, email me & I'll send you my paypal info.

There is a letter that usually circulates around the holidays that

some suggest sending to family members. It explains stuff like the

child may find hugs painful, it's no reflection on you...please

provide a quiet place where my child can retreat during family

gatherings, etc.

Debi

[Guest guest]

Hi -

I know how you feel. My daughter was diagnosed on Oct 4th. However, we've been

going though years of therapy since age 1. So this was a blessing in our eyes.

Communicting with friends and family is important. It's overwhelming enough

learning about the diagnosis and the treatment plans. Having people asking you

questions that you don't know because you haven't " gotten there " can become even

more overwhelming.

one way I have kept friends and family in the loop is creating a website just

for my daughter. 80% of it is just fun stuff for her and 10% of it is a

journal/update on her progress and where i'm at with all of it. There's stuff

from appointments, to history, to " things to know " etc. That way I don't feel

guilty if I forget to tell everyone the details and if people (therapist,

doctors, friends, family, teachers) have questions they can just refer to the

website. Not to mention, It's been a saving grace for me if i'm too tired or

just didn't have the energy to explain.

The fun stuff for her is to encourage her strenghs, accomplishments, projects

as well as her intrest. One thing the doctor said to me that stuck in my head is

these kids need the encouragement and support especially when it comes to their

strenghs. If they can find that interest they adore, encourage it as much as

possible. It can become their coping mechinism in the future. So for my daughter

- it's her art. I'm hoping in the coming weeks, finding an art therapist will

also reinforce her talent as well as be theraputic. The times she could not say

a word to me - she could always express it in her art.

You can visit her website at http://art-of-vee.com. specifically you can visit

http://art-of-vee.com/diagnosis.html.

Kindest regards,

http://gophergirl.net

angelakroberts wrote:

Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by the

developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared so

we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

others have told loved ones.

With appreciation,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi -

I know how you feel. My daughter was diagnosed on Oct 4th. However, we've been

going though years of therapy since age 1. So this was a blessing in our eyes.

Communicting with friends and family is important. It's overwhelming enough

learning about the diagnosis and the treatment plans. Having people asking you

questions that you don't know because you haven't " gotten there " can become even

more overwhelming.

one way I have kept friends and family in the loop is creating a website just

for my daughter. 80% of it is just fun stuff for her and 10% of it is a

journal/update on her progress and where i'm at with all of it. There's stuff

from appointments, to history, to " things to know " etc. That way I don't feel

guilty if I forget to tell everyone the details and if people (therapist,

doctors, friends, family, teachers) have questions they can just refer to the

website. Not to mention, It's been a saving grace for me if i'm too tired or

just didn't have the energy to explain.

The fun stuff for her is to encourage her strenghs, accomplishments, projects

as well as her intrest. One thing the doctor said to me that stuck in my head is

these kids need the encouragement and support especially when it comes to their

strenghs. If they can find that interest they adore, encourage it as much as

possible. It can become their coping mechinism in the future. So for my daughter

- it's her art. I'm hoping in the coming weeks, finding an art therapist will

also reinforce her talent as well as be theraputic. The times she could not say

a word to me - she could always express it in her art.

You can visit her website at http://art-of-vee.com. specifically you can visit

http://art-of-vee.com/diagnosis.html.

Kindest regards,

http://gophergirl.net

angelakroberts wrote:

Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by the

developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared so

we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

others have told loved ones.

With appreciation,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

One really comprehensive book is " Understanding Autism for Dummies " .

Order a copy and read it yourself first, give it your " approval " and

then order copies for the family.

>

> Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by the

> developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared so

> we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> others have told loved ones.

>

> With appreciation,

>

>

[Guest guest]

One really comprehensive book is " Understanding Autism for Dummies " .

Order a copy and read it yourself first, give it your " approval " and

then order copies for the family.

>

> Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by the

> developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared so

> we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> others have told loved ones.

>

> With appreciation,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Marie,

I took a look at the website you suggested and it has a lot of great

information. Thank you!

My mother has been our daughter's biggest advocate so far when it

comes to keeping family members informed. Thank Heaven for my mom!

Our daughter reached all of her developmental milestones on time

except for language and communication/social. We kept being told by

well-meaning family members that " her big sister does all the talking

for her " or " you baby her so she doesn't have to talk " or " take the

pacifier away and turn off the tv and she'll be fine " . One aunt even

said, " Are you sure she's not just lazy? " (That's my favorite line

of all!) Then there's my mother-in-law who thinks my husband and I

are wasting our time trying to find answers (she said this after our

daughter's genetics tests came back negative). And my father-in-law

who avoids us because he's dealing with past guilt issues of his

own. He had a developmentally delayed daughter in his first marriage

and signed over all rights to the mother. He hasn't seen his

daughter in years and admits it's hard to look at our daughter

without thinking about his.

Anyway, while yesterday's diagnosis was a bit " numbing " for us, my

husband and I woke up this morning feeling a sense of calmness. It's

like the diagnosis has enabled us to sigh with relief and let go of

some of the anxiety we've been carrying around.

Many thanks to you,

>

> ,

> Blessings to you and your family. My daughter was diagnosed last

year at almost three. I was mentally prepared too, but I know it's

still a sinking feeling to have that professional agree with you.

> As far as telling family and friends, my guess is that they

probably have already prepared themselves. In my case, my parents

knew that something wasn't right with our daughter. She went from

happy, laughing, responsive and somewhat vocal, to no language, and

not responding to sounds. So it was obvious something was going on.

Maybe it's similar in your case.

> We told other people gradually, little by little. You don't have to

make a big announcement. There are lots of web sites you can point

them to. TACA has a great web site and with all of the McCarthy

publicity, that might be something that would help them. She has a

couple of videos:

> http://www.talkaboutcuringautism.org/index.htm

> Look at the 'Hope After Diagnosis' and 'Child was just diagnosed

with autism' and see if those help.

> Marie

>

>

> Telling family and friends

>

> Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by the

> developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared

so

> we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> others have told loved ones.

>

> With appreciation,

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Marie,

I took a look at the website you suggested and it has a lot of great

information. Thank you!

My mother has been our daughter's biggest advocate so far when it

comes to keeping family members informed. Thank Heaven for my mom!

Our daughter reached all of her developmental milestones on time

except for language and communication/social. We kept being told by

well-meaning family members that " her big sister does all the talking

for her " or " you baby her so she doesn't have to talk " or " take the

pacifier away and turn off the tv and she'll be fine " . One aunt even

said, " Are you sure she's not just lazy? " (That's my favorite line

of all!) Then there's my mother-in-law who thinks my husband and I

are wasting our time trying to find answers (she said this after our

daughter's genetics tests came back negative). And my father-in-law

who avoids us because he's dealing with past guilt issues of his

own. He had a developmentally delayed daughter in his first marriage

and signed over all rights to the mother. He hasn't seen his

daughter in years and admits it's hard to look at our daughter

without thinking about his.

Anyway, while yesterday's diagnosis was a bit " numbing " for us, my

husband and I woke up this morning feeling a sense of calmness. It's

like the diagnosis has enabled us to sigh with relief and let go of

some of the anxiety we've been carrying around.

Many thanks to you,

>

> ,

> Blessings to you and your family. My daughter was diagnosed last

year at almost three. I was mentally prepared too, but I know it's

still a sinking feeling to have that professional agree with you.

> As far as telling family and friends, my guess is that they

probably have already prepared themselves. In my case, my parents

knew that something wasn't right with our daughter. She went from

happy, laughing, responsive and somewhat vocal, to no language, and

not responding to sounds. So it was obvious something was going on.

Maybe it's similar in your case.

> We told other people gradually, little by little. You don't have to

make a big announcement. There are lots of web sites you can point

them to. TACA has a great web site and with all of the McCarthy

publicity, that might be something that would help them. She has a

couple of videos:

> http://www.talkaboutcuringautism.org/index.htm

> Look at the 'Hope After Diagnosis' and 'Child was just diagnosed

with autism' and see if those help.

> Marie

>

>

> Telling family and friends

>

> Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by the

> developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared

so

> we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> others have told loved ones.

>

> With appreciation,

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Debi,

Thanks so much for telling me about your book! It might come in very

handy when the time comes to explain things to our older daughter,

who is just 4.

Most of our immediate family knows our youngest daughter has been

receiving ST and OT, but I don't think anyone suspects autism. After

all (sarcastic), autism wouldn't happen to US. And, it's just the

latest trend like ADHD was a few years back. (You're so right about

da'Nile!)

We live about an hour away from most family and many have only been

around our daughter during the holidays. The last two family

gatherings I've had to leave early with her because she became so

overstimulated she began throwing tantrums. I was able to simply

say, " she's just tired and needs a nap " and no one (other than myself

and my husband) suspected anything.

Relating to your family's disinterest in the information you put out

at your daughter's birthday party, I've been most disappointed with

my in-laws' lack of interest and support. Their heads are so far in

the sand! They believe if they don't see it, it isn't there so they

hardly come around at all. I once read somewhere that once a family

receives a diagnosis like autism for their child, family and friends

either become rocks of support, excuse makers ( " I wish I could be

there to help, but... " ) or gingerbread men who run away as fast as

they can. This has really helped me come to grips with the fact that

no matter how much my husband and I want support from loved ones, we

may never get it from some.

Thank you for sharing your personal stories with me.

All the best,

>

> Does your family know you have been suspecting? Do any of them live

> near or mostly out of town? My experience was that I told everyone

> about 4 months prior to the dx what I suspected. Some agreed, some

> disagreed & felt I was creating it by purusing the dx (da'nile ain't

> just a river!) and many more were in between the two. I got both

> grandparents books, had a binder where I kept all her info out on

the

> coffee table at her 2nd birthday (was dxed 2 wks prior) and I was

very

> disappointed to find that no one was interested in research,

reading,

> or anything else. I think most people had a " what does this mean to

> me " feeling and that was about it.

>

> I do remember Craig's parents never told his grandmother. She died

> about 9 months after the dx. I remember just before she died she

said,

> " Can she not talk at all? " I think she suspected something was badly

> wrong but since Craig's parents didn't want to tell her, I was in no

> hurry. She was sort of a mean woman, I didn't want to risk her

saying

> something ugly to me. Looking back, I wish I had, she had a son

> everyone called " slow " who I think probably had Asperger Syndrome.

She

> might have had some encouraging thoughts mother-to-mother. Who

knows,

> water under the bridge.

>

> What I did was tell people straight up, " Allie has autism. " Autism

has

> never been an ugly or tabboo word in our home, it's just part of

> life...the sky is blue, Allie has autism. I did write a book that

I've

> found can be helpful to some people, it was geared toward children

but

> it seems adults like it as much as anyone, lol. It's

called " 's

> Little Sister: A Story about Autism. "

>

> http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/601-5293636-2660112?

asin=1413717241 & afid=yahoosspplp_bmvd & lnm=1413717241|Books_:_'s

_Little_Sister & ref=tgt_adv_XSNG1060

>

> I sell it for $14, shipping & all, btw. I think that's a rediculous

> price! I wouldn't sell it for that much but the publisher is a bit

> extreme in pricing, I think. If you are interested, and please don't

> feel like I'm pushing it, email me & I'll send you my paypal info.

>

> There is a letter that usually circulates around the holidays that

> some suggest sending to family members. It explains stuff like the

> child may find hugs painful, it's no reflection on you...please

> provide a quiet place where my child can retreat during family

> gatherings, etc.

>

> Debi

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Debi,

Thanks so much for telling me about your book! It might come in very

handy when the time comes to explain things to our older daughter,

who is just 4.

Most of our immediate family knows our youngest daughter has been

receiving ST and OT, but I don't think anyone suspects autism. After

all (sarcastic), autism wouldn't happen to US. And, it's just the

latest trend like ADHD was a few years back. (You're so right about

da'Nile!)

We live about an hour away from most family and many have only been

around our daughter during the holidays. The last two family

gatherings I've had to leave early with her because she became so

overstimulated she began throwing tantrums. I was able to simply

say, " she's just tired and needs a nap " and no one (other than myself

and my husband) suspected anything.

Relating to your family's disinterest in the information you put out

at your daughter's birthday party, I've been most disappointed with

my in-laws' lack of interest and support. Their heads are so far in

the sand! They believe if they don't see it, it isn't there so they

hardly come around at all. I once read somewhere that once a family

receives a diagnosis like autism for their child, family and friends

either become rocks of support, excuse makers ( " I wish I could be

there to help, but... " ) or gingerbread men who run away as fast as

they can. This has really helped me come to grips with the fact that

no matter how much my husband and I want support from loved ones, we

may never get it from some.

Thank you for sharing your personal stories with me.

All the best,

>

> Does your family know you have been suspecting? Do any of them live

> near or mostly out of town? My experience was that I told everyone

> about 4 months prior to the dx what I suspected. Some agreed, some

> disagreed & felt I was creating it by purusing the dx (da'nile ain't

> just a river!) and many more were in between the two. I got both

> grandparents books, had a binder where I kept all her info out on

the

> coffee table at her 2nd birthday (was dxed 2 wks prior) and I was

very

> disappointed to find that no one was interested in research,

reading,

> or anything else. I think most people had a " what does this mean to

> me " feeling and that was about it.

>

> I do remember Craig's parents never told his grandmother. She died

> about 9 months after the dx. I remember just before she died she

said,

> " Can she not talk at all? " I think she suspected something was badly

> wrong but since Craig's parents didn't want to tell her, I was in no

> hurry. She was sort of a mean woman, I didn't want to risk her

saying

> something ugly to me. Looking back, I wish I had, she had a son

> everyone called " slow " who I think probably had Asperger Syndrome.

She

> might have had some encouraging thoughts mother-to-mother. Who

knows,

> water under the bridge.

>

> What I did was tell people straight up, " Allie has autism. " Autism

has

> never been an ugly or tabboo word in our home, it's just part of

> life...the sky is blue, Allie has autism. I did write a book that

I've

> found can be helpful to some people, it was geared toward children

but

> it seems adults like it as much as anyone, lol. It's

called " 's

> Little Sister: A Story about Autism. "

>

> http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/601-5293636-2660112?

asin=1413717241 & afid=yahoosspplp_bmvd & lnm=1413717241|Books_:_'s

_Little_Sister & ref=tgt_adv_XSNG1060

>

> I sell it for $14, shipping & all, btw. I think that's a rediculous

> price! I wouldn't sell it for that much but the publisher is a bit

> extreme in pricing, I think. If you are interested, and please don't

> feel like I'm pushing it, email me & I'll send you my paypal info.

>

> There is a letter that usually circulates around the holidays that

> some suggest sending to family members. It explains stuff like the

> child may find hugs painful, it's no reflection on you...please

> provide a quiet place where my child can retreat during family

> gatherings, etc.

>

> Debi

>

[Guest guest]

Great idea! Thanks for the suggestion!

> >

> > Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by

the

> > developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally

prepared so

> > we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> > wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> > brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> > going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> > gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> > others have told loved ones.

> >

> > With appreciation,

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Great idea! Thanks for the suggestion!

> >

> > Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed today by

the

> > developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally

prepared so

> > we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> > wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> > brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> > going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> > gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> > others have told loved ones.

> >

> > With appreciation,

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

This is so true!!!! I get so jealous, our local ASA group has a couple

who are grandparents to three different kids on spectrum by two

different kids. They are willing to do *anything* to help. They always

comment that they know how overwhelmed all us parents are & they wanna

do anything they can to ease the burden. Then you have people like my

mother who has never kept any of my kids overnight, except my oldest 1

time, and that was like pulling teeth.

I don't know if this helps or not, but I've found the friends I have

now are completely different than the ones from 6 years ago. I just

couldn't relate any more to my friends of typical kids, nor could they

relate to me. Now my closest friends all have kids on spectrum.

Sometimes I feel sad about it, but this is the path God has prepared

me for, and I feel that my friendships now are way more real than 6

yrs ago. Let's face it, when we are friends with people whose kids

draw in feces, we're true friends!!!!! Lol.

Debi

I once read somewhere that once a family

> receives a diagnosis like autism for their child, family and friends

> either become rocks of support, excuse makers ( " I wish I could be

> there to help, but... " ) or gingerbread men who run away as fast as

> they can. This has really helped me come to grips with the fact that

> no matter how much my husband and I want support from loved ones, we

> may never get it from some.

>

> Thank you for sharing your personal stories with me.

>

> All the best,

>

>

[Guest guest]

This is so true!!!! I get so jealous, our local ASA group has a couple

who are grandparents to three different kids on spectrum by two

different kids. They are willing to do *anything* to help. They always

comment that they know how overwhelmed all us parents are & they wanna

do anything they can to ease the burden. Then you have people like my

mother who has never kept any of my kids overnight, except my oldest 1

time, and that was like pulling teeth.

I don't know if this helps or not, but I've found the friends I have

now are completely different than the ones from 6 years ago. I just

couldn't relate any more to my friends of typical kids, nor could they

relate to me. Now my closest friends all have kids on spectrum.

Sometimes I feel sad about it, but this is the path God has prepared

me for, and I feel that my friendships now are way more real than 6

yrs ago. Let's face it, when we are friends with people whose kids

draw in feces, we're true friends!!!!! Lol.

Debi

I once read somewhere that once a family

> receives a diagnosis like autism for their child, family and friends

> either become rocks of support, excuse makers ( " I wish I could be

> there to help, but... " ) or gingerbread men who run away as fast as

> they can. This has really helped me come to grips with the fact that

> no matter how much my husband and I want support from loved ones, we

> may never get it from some.

>

> Thank you for sharing your personal stories with me.

>

> All the best,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Love, LOVE, LOVE your website! It's so positive and uplifting. Vee

is gorgeous and you are beautiful. You gave me a great idea about

how to help my communicate. She has learned a lot of what she

knows through music and song. Like Vee uses her art to express

herself, can use music and rhymes. The developmental

pediatrician told us her center offers free music therapy, thanks to

a special grant. We'll certainly be taking part.

All the best,

> Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed

today by the

> developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared

so

> we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> others have told loved ones.

>

> With appreciation,

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Love, LOVE, LOVE your website! It's so positive and uplifting. Vee

is gorgeous and you are beautiful. You gave me a great idea about

how to help my communicate. She has learned a lot of what she

knows through music and song. Like Vee uses her art to express

herself, can use music and rhymes. The developmental

pediatrician told us her center offers free music therapy, thanks to

a special grant. We'll certainly be taking part.

All the best,

> Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed

today by the

> developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared

so

> we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> others have told loved ones.

>

> With appreciation,

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I second it. I think it's an AWESOME book and our own Kassi has

sections in it. I talked to our ASA board about giving out a new copy

to every new member, but one of the board members felt it would be

offensive to give out a book with that title... yep Shanna, you

guessed it!

Lol,

Debi

>

>

> One really comprehensive book is " Understanding Autism for Dummies " .

> Order a copy and read it yourself first, give it your " approval " and

> then order copies for the family.

>

[Guest guest]

I second it. I think it's an AWESOME book and our own Kassi has

sections in it. I talked to our ASA board about giving out a new copy

to every new member, but one of the board members felt it would be

offensive to give out a book with that title... yep Shanna, you

guessed it!

Lol,

Debi

>

>

> One really comprehensive book is " Understanding Autism for Dummies " .

> Order a copy and read it yourself first, give it your " approval " and

> then order copies for the family.

>

[Guest guest]

Oh music is such a theraputic method for communication!! once had a

music therapist she loved. Granted she doesn't have rythem but that doesn't

matter. If she loves it definatly encourage it as much as you can.

Actually - if i can ever get my butt back to school, i'm considering becoming

a music therapist. (my version of art is stick figures and actually has

taught me how to draw!) It's helped us emmensly over the years from calming

music at night to her certian songs we played when she was happy/sad... etc.

What I did is have tapes of songs with stickers of a happy face, sad face

etc....i would reinforce it by calling them the happy song, sad song. She would

have them accessable where should give me and it helped me tap into how she

might have been feeling at the time.

You know it's funny, her website as much as work is it is - has been a

blessing. It's saved me from telling different people the same story over and

over of where she's been, where she is, and where we hope she can go. Sometimes

I felt like a broken record especially to people who didn't understand. It does

help that i'm I a graphic designer but there are alot of ways to create a

website for kids.

If you go to www.wordpress.com they offer a free service to create a blog. It

can be a way for you to create an online journal of her updates, her growth, as

well as network with other parents around the country who have the same

experiences.

One recommendation my developmental psycholologist told me - is to make a

list of all of her symptoms, and things to consider when being with her -

wheater it be online or in print form. That way, when there are new teachers,

family members, friends who are involved with her - they can be more sensitive

to her needs. If you don't have time to explain every detail, they at least have

some instructions to go by. I just decided to put it in an online form.

Kindest regards,

angelakroberts wrote:

Hi ,

Love, LOVE, LOVE your website! It's so positive and uplifting. Vee

is gorgeous and you are beautiful. You gave me a great idea about

how to help my communicate. She has learned a lot of what she

knows through music and song. Like Vee uses her art to express

herself, can use music and rhymes. The developmental

pediatrician told us her center offers free music therapy, thanks to

a special grant. We'll certainly be taking part.

All the best,

> Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed

today by the

> developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared

so

> we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> others have told loved ones.

>

> With appreciation,

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Oh music is such a theraputic method for communication!! once had a

music therapist she loved. Granted she doesn't have rythem but that doesn't

matter. If she loves it definatly encourage it as much as you can.

Actually - if i can ever get my butt back to school, i'm considering becoming

a music therapist. (my version of art is stick figures and actually has

taught me how to draw!) It's helped us emmensly over the years from calming

music at night to her certian songs we played when she was happy/sad... etc.

What I did is have tapes of songs with stickers of a happy face, sad face

etc....i would reinforce it by calling them the happy song, sad song. She would

have them accessable where should give me and it helped me tap into how she

might have been feeling at the time.

You know it's funny, her website as much as work is it is - has been a

blessing. It's saved me from telling different people the same story over and

over of where she's been, where she is, and where we hope she can go. Sometimes

I felt like a broken record especially to people who didn't understand. It does

help that i'm I a graphic designer but there are alot of ways to create a

website for kids.

If you go to www.wordpress.com they offer a free service to create a blog. It

can be a way for you to create an online journal of her updates, her growth, as

well as network with other parents around the country who have the same

experiences.

One recommendation my developmental psycholologist told me - is to make a

list of all of her symptoms, and things to consider when being with her -

wheater it be online or in print form. That way, when there are new teachers,

family members, friends who are involved with her - they can be more sensitive

to her needs. If you don't have time to explain every detail, they at least have

some instructions to go by. I just decided to put it in an online form.

Kindest regards,

angelakroberts wrote:

Hi ,

Love, LOVE, LOVE your website! It's so positive and uplifting. Vee

is gorgeous and you are beautiful. You gave me a great idea about

how to help my communicate. She has learned a lot of what she

knows through music and song. Like Vee uses her art to express

herself, can use music and rhymes. The developmental

pediatrician told us her center offers free music therapy, thanks to

a special grant. We'll certainly be taking part.

All the best,

> Our soon-to-be three year old was officially diagnosed

today by the

> developmental pediatrician. My husband and I were mentally prepared

so

> we're doing okay. We're emotionally exhausted, but okay. Now we

> wonder what's the best way to tell family and friends? Is there a

> brochure or card we can hand out that answers most questions we're

> going to encounter? I'm seriously dreading the thought of family

> gatherings over the upcoming holidays. We'd love to hear about how

> others have told loved ones.

>

> With appreciation,

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you so much for sharing your daughter's website. My daughter

sometimes works out her feelings in artwork, and she was just thrilled to see

Vee's

work. I enjoyed it too, of course! Allie was so excited to see Vee's

interest in Pokémon. I had to promise her we could look again tomorrow, since

it

was too close to bedtime to look very long tonight! :-)

Thanks again,

Sandi

************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you so much for sharing your daughter's website. My daughter

sometimes works out her feelings in artwork, and she was just thrilled to see

Vee's

work. I enjoyed it too, of course! Allie was so excited to see Vee's

interest in Pokémon. I had to promise her we could look again tomorrow, since

it

was too close to bedtime to look very long tonight! :-)

Thanks again,

Sandi

************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com

[Guest guest]

Allie is 12. She is in the 6th grade, and loves theater class the best.

Turns out she has a wicked ability at improvisation.

Allie would hate being a pen pal, because writing is a huge chore - just the

physical act of forcing words onto paper, yuck! She would probably love to

be email pals, where she could share drawings, and jokes and school

experiences. She was very drawn to Vee's work (you will forgive the

expression)

because she loves cartooning - it's her favorite method of expression.

If we could work out a way for the girls to share emails and art, she'd love

to take part.

How old is Vee? Allie was curious when she saw the labels on the Albums,

figuring Vee might not be too different in age.

Sandi

In a message dated 10/22/2007 12:17:17 A.M. Central Daylight Time,

kimemminger@... writes:

I'm so glad Allie was excited to see her website. How old is your daughter?

I haven't had time to load more of the fun pages - but I keep telling

i'm going to work on the butterfly island next.... but just haven't

had the

time.

Defiantly feel free to share her website with your girls. It's become my

safe place I know she goes, has fun, learns but at the same time be protected.

All the links I've carefully looked at to make sure they don't point to any

sites that are inappropriate, but if you find something I've missed please let

me know.

You know something I thought of awhile back once she got her diagnosis was,

would any of you be interested in starting a pen pal program for our girls? I

know my daughter has such a hard time making friends at school due to her

social issues - and often complains she doesn't have friends. So I thought it

might be nice for her to receive letters from other girls around the country

with autism. And for the girls who can't write - maybe can draw

pictures for them.... to make them feel special as well.

It's a thought... and not sure how we could do it.... but if you guys are

interested, let me know. I'm sure we could figure out a way.

Hugs to all

************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com