Guest guest Posted May 25, 2010 Report Share Posted May 25, 2010 Personally, I think I would be finding another therapist fast. He doesn't sound like he really understands OCD. I don't think OCD is ever a learned behavior. I think it helps when we can remain calm in the middle of a storm, but we don't cause the storm. We all have worries, etc. There is a huge difference. I have always been a hand washer. Touch or play with the dog, I would wash my hands. I've always done that, but there is a huge difference in worrying constant that they might be contaminated, etc. or are not clean enough. Like you say, the difference between worrying about the things you must and worrying irrationally. My dd opens up to me, no one else. Beth in Houston From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of pamlatz7 Sent: Monday, May 24, 2010 4:38 PM To: Subject: learned behavior? Hi everyone! I do want to catch up on messages posted since it's been awhile. I do have a quick question: This comment came from my son's therapist. He claims that the anxiety/ocd is " a learned behavior " that he is getting from BOTH PARENTS. Is this the wrong doctor for us? I don't know but I can tell you that I was getting very agitated in his office because he did not or could not explain this to me so that I would understand. I still am trying to figure it out. Sure, lewe all have some sort of stress/anxiety/worry call it what you want, in our lives but to feel as though I have contributed to my son's behavior just " blew me away " I care, I try to help, he opens up to me, not his dad and in fact has told me his dad is the cause of his anxiety. Sorry to ramble on. What do you guys think? Oh Yea, one more thing, there is a difference between constant worry and just being careful or diligent in our everyday lives. EX: I unplug some electrical appliances when I am not using them.(to save energy) is this an obsession? Take Care Pam L. No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.819 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2895 - Release Date: 05/25/10 01:26:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2010 Report Share Posted May 25, 2010 Your son's doctor doesn't know what he is talking about. OCD is not learned behavior. If it were a " learned " behavior, it would be a lot easier to " unlearn " ! Kelley in NV learned behavior? Hi everyone! I do want to catch up on messages posted since it's been awhile. I do have a quick question: This comment came from my son's therapist. He claims that the anxiety/ocd is " a learned behavior " that he is getting from BOTH PARENTS. Is this the wrong doctor for us? I don't know but I can tell you that I was getting very agitated in his office because he did not or could not explain this to me so that I would understand. I still am trying to figure it out. Sure, lewe all have some sort of stress/anxiety/worry call it what you want, in our lives but to feel as though I have contributed to my son's behavior just " blew me away " I care, I try to help, he opens up to me, not his dad and in fact has told me his dad is the cause of his anxiety. Sorry to ramble on. What do you guys think? Oh Yea, one more thing, there is a difference between constant worry and just being careful or diligent in our everyday lives. EX: I unplug some electrical appl iances when I am not using them.(to save energy) is this an obsession? Take Care Pam L. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 26, 2010 Report Share Posted May 26, 2010 OCD is neurobiological, not learned. The very fact that it responds well to medication shows that it has a neurobiological basis. Abnormalities with the basal ganglia is known to be evident in those with OCD. That is not something that is learned. PET scans show that the brain activity in those with OCD, is different from those without it. I believe, from observing our own son, that OCD can be exacerbated by environment though. I've learned that I have to be careful not to call unnecessary, exaggerated attention to certain situations that I know he is affected by. If I OVERreact to something that his OCD is sensitive too, I've noticed his OCD can (but not always) flare up, due to my hyper-concerns and reaction. On the other hand, I've learned that the more I try to protect him from a situation, the more his OCD grows too, so I've had to let him experience things too. It can be a fine line. For example while he was working on contamination issues with ERP, he picked up something off of the floor and ate it. I could have chosen to react as I did in the past, and stress to him that he should not eat it, drawing more attention to his contamination concerns. . . Or I could recondition my thinking, telling myself it would not kill him, and let him experience it without unintentionally exacerbating the OCD. We also try to keep stress levels down, trying not to sweat the small stuff. Ongoing stress in our home just raises everything to a higher level of anxiety, in general, for him, which can make his OCD flare. So, I think there are things that can be done to help keep OCD more stable, just as there are things to do (CBT/ERP or meds) to get it under control. But, OCD cannot be learned. Anymore than a diabetic learns diabetes. My two cents worth. BJ > > Hi everyone! I do want to catch up on messages posted since it's been awhile. I do have a quick question: This comment came from my son's therapist. He claims that the anxiety/ocd is " a learned behavior " that he is getting from BOTH PARENTS. Is this the wrong doctor for us? I don't know but I can tell you that I was getting very agitated in his office because he did not or could not explain this to me so that I would understand. I still am trying to figure it out. Sure, lewe all have some sort of stress/anxiety/worry call it what you want, in our lives but to feel as though I have contributed to my son's behavior just " blew me away " I care, I try to help, he opens up to me, not his dad and in fact has told me his dad is the cause of his anxiety. Sorry to ramble on. What do you guys think? Oh Yea, one more thing, there is a difference between constant worry and just being careful or diligent in our everyday lives. EX: I unplug some electrical appliances when I am not using them.(to save energy) is this an obsession? > > Take Care > Pam L. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 26, 2010 Report Share Posted May 26, 2010 Hi Pam, I agree with what everyone else has written. Find another who understands OCD. The only scenarios I can think of that MAYbe he was referring to, and I'll use your example of unplugging electrical appliances, are: OCD can mess up ANYthing. So, say, if your habit of unplugging has your son obsessing over making sure things are unplugged, anxious to make sure, etc. (this isn't a learned behavior, it's something normal that OCD has grabbed on to) Or, your son has ever forgotten to unplug something, you notice, unplug it, casually comment to him to remember to unplug when not in use. He's a kid who likes to please mom, maybe is anxious you're upset with him (you're not, but you know how kids can be), anxious to make sure you don't get upset (which you weren't but they take any comment wrong way) -- so is now always anxious, OCDing about applicances being unplugged. (again, not a learned behavior, this is OCD, or just an anxious kid) My mom was more the OCPD (obsessive-compulsive personality disorder) type. HAD to have things done her way, the right way. Like folding towels and sheets. (To this day I cannot fold a bottom sheet.) She used to go over & over with me how to fold the sheets and towels, the way she wanted them folded. And when she'd tell me to go down and take out the sheets or towels to fold, yeah, I got a little anxous about it whenever she told me to do this, knowing how " particular " she was and not wanting her to say it wasn't perfect, redo, or she'd redo or something. --- That's about the only other scenario I can think of, but it's not OCD related, that's just anxiousness related to pleasing mom. (Just to note, I fold these things MY way now, LOL, not her's) Again, I agree with the others' comments. Just thinking about what the heck he might have meant? > > Hi everyone! I do want to catch up on messages posted since it's been awhile. I do have a quick question: This comment came from my son's therapist. He claims that the anxiety/ocd is " a learned behavior " that he is getting from BOTH PARENTS. Is this the wrong doctor for us? I don't know but I can tell you that I was getting very agitated in his office because he did not or could not explain this to me so that I would understand. I still am trying to figure it out. Sure, lewe all have some sort of stress/anxiety/worry call it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 26, 2010 Report Share Posted May 26, 2010 Glad to know I'm not the only adult who can't fold a bottom sheet! :-) I need to do a tutorial on You Tube. Dina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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