Re: Question about Wiping girls while still in diapers...

May 7, 2007

I'm wondering if it might be a burning/temp thing. Sometimes some

diaper wipes can be irritating to the skin. Allie used to cry when

they were cold. There are diaper wipe warmers that will keep them

warm, or you could run it under warm water just before putting it on

her. You could also try different textures, like maybe a washcloth

instead of a wipe, or wipe instead of a washcloth. Do you think she

might have a vaginal infection or oxalates issue causing her vulvar

pain? Does it seem to bother her more around her anus or vulva?

Sometimes there may be a specific region that is extra sensitive.

As to being mean to little brother... <sigh> I know that's a toughy.

Just remember, nonverbal does not equate to not understanding, even if

she doesn't show it. My suggestion is to figure out what she's getting

from it. Does she push him after she's been made to do a non-preferred

activity? Is he getting into something of her's that makes her want to

retaliate? Does she like to hear him cry? What is your reaction to the

behaviors? There's something called a functional behavior assessment.

For the most part it's getting a notebook, writing the time when she

hurt little brother, what happened just before she did it, exactly

what she did, and what your reaction was. It sounds elementary, but it

can REALLY HELP you find the exact triggers. From there, you can

better figure out how to change the behavior.

Some of it could be also that she doesn't understand how to play. It

might take some specific modeling of how you want her to treat him for

her to understand what you are expecting. You could use a token board

for her to start her out being nice. If 10-15 minutes goes by without

her hurting him, praise her like crazy & hand-over-hand her putting a

token on her board for one of her favorite things, could be a movie,

food, or special toy. Every 10-15 minutes praise her & do it again,

might need to give preferred item every time at first, then she has to

earn 2 tokens to get it, then 3, then you can spread out the time to

15 min, then 20 min, etc.

Also, consider what you may be saying. If she ever hears you or the

family talking about things, like how glad you are he isn't showing

signs of autism, etc, she might be resentful, might feel you love him

more than her. I know I've been guilty of it, not accusing you, just

throwing out thoughts. My philosophy has been to always assume they

understand everything you are saying, because they probably are. She

needs to know you love her just as much and are happy with her, even

if you're trying to make her better.

HTH,

Debi

>

> I have a 3 year old daughter who, ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT STAND to be touched

> wiped or otherwise " down there " and I don't know how to keep her

clean with

> out getting her so upset because I have to clean her up down there..

she is

> still in diapers.. does anyone have an advice on this subject?

>

> And I have a 1 year old normal developing son.. that she is EVIL

too, she

> will push him into the coffee table.. throw stuff at him.. push him

down.

> does anyone know how to curb this behavior?

>

> She is non verbal.. with limited understanding.. and a VERY VERY

VERY BIG

> JEALOUS BONE!

>

> Thanks for you help..

>

May 7, 2007