RE: Re: Relieved & Missing him... most recent update

[Guest guest]

Oh boy. I'm glad it was better than the last time at least. My son has a fit

if we shut our bedroom door at night. It's so hard to understand, and if the

doctors can't understand, how do they expect us to live with it every day? It's

nice when they can see it how it really is.

Steffanie

To:

From: hdvoigt@...

Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2010 20:37:41 +0000

Subject: Re: Relieved & Missing him... most recent update

Thanks... I appreciate it.

SO...

The first part of the visit went great. He was in good spirits, we played a game

(he won without cheating! LOL), I showed him some pictures I brought of our

cat's new hair-do. Our long-hair cat had to get shaved bc it had a lot of mats,

and Sam hadn't seen him yet so I brought him some pictures. Then we got a snack

on the way to his therapy appt. WELL, all was well & good until his therapist

decided to simply try to have a conversation with him about 1. why he had to go

to the hospital, 2. what it was like at the hospital and at the current

facility, AND 3. how things should be at home when he returns on Tuesday. He was

up and around the room, climbing in and out of my lap (we are talking about a

75lb 4'7 " almost nine yr old), giving me hugs that were just a little TOO tight,

changing the subject repeatedly, refusing to answer, etc... UGH. So Dr. R.

finally says, " why don't your mom and I have " adult time " and you can play in

the hall? " This is something he HAS done successfully every other session, at

least for five or ten minutes. TODAY, he came in without knocking, because he

couldn't/wouldn't even leave until he KNEW the door was NOT locked to begin

with, at least ten or fifteen times in the ten minutes that we were attempting

to brainstorm a plan for when he comes home on Tuesday. The semi-good things is

that Dr. R. said to me, " I think I understand a bit better, Heidi, how it must

be to live like this ALL the time. " I had said to her, " welcome to my life...! "

Needless to say, THERE IS NO CLEAR PLAN! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is the EXPERT

and it was clear that she was just as stuck and frustrated as I was with the

fact that he would not and/or could not participate in a conversation about what

would make things better at home, but also would not and/or could not tolerate

us having that conversation without him! SO for now, he is supposed to be coming

home on Tuesday, I can do the best that I can to be proactive about as many

things as possible, but at some point in the day I NEED to use the bathroom, he

NEEDS to stay out of my personal space, I NEED to feel safe in my own home, and

I don't know how any of it will be any better! He won't even engage in a

conversation about it!

Heidi

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> I do wish you luck. I hope it's a better day today. I know we are not to

preach our beliefs here, and I won't. I just want to say that I will say a

little prayer that it's a good visit.

>

> Steffanie

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> To:

> From: hdvoigt@...

> Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2010 16:19:11 +0000

> Subject: Re: Relieved & Missing him...

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> T

[Guest guest]

Heidi, I am wondering is OCD his only diagnosis? The right meds are critical for

my dd. They were able to get them right for her while inpatient. Have they only

made 1 change while inpatient for him? Neurontin made a big difference for my dd

but she can't take SSRIs and I don't think they use it often. I hope he is able

to be a little bit more independent when he comes home. At least enough to give

you a little time alone. A lot of my dd's anxiety, all types, turned out to be

caused by her Aspergers which was diagnosed very late. Some of what you have

written reminded me of her. Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sat, August 14, 2010 3:51:28 PM

Subject: Re: Relieved & Missing him... most recent update

Hi

Since yesterday he did work with the staff at his the " house " where his is a

little bit on the plan for when he comes home, mostly for what to do when he is

feeling frustrated, etc. But the fact that he was willing to work on it at all

made me feel better.

As far as the bathroom time, I like you idea for the reward, and we were already

trying something similar before he went to the hospital but hadn't had time to

see it have a positive effect. I would be happy to have FIVE minutes at this

point!

They did raise his medication while he was in the hospital and we should be

seeing the positive effects (if there are any) soon.

ALSO, my mom and I went to see him today and the visit went VERY well. He has

only seen her one other time since school got out because my family has

basically denied anything has been going on with him. So the fact that that the

visit went well was a relief...

Heidi

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> Heidi, I was thinking like the therapist, talk to him about those 3 things.

>Sorry he was too hyper to listen.

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> Just thinking as I read this -- can you talk to him about the #1 thing he is

to

>do (work on) when he comes home is to let you have your " bathroom time " without

>coming in. That bathroom time is your " quiet time " and he can take a toy/book

>and sit outside the door

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